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RE: need some encouragment... - 6/12/2007 3:23:55 AM   
TigerNINTails


Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline
octavia,

I don't know what I could tell you, that hasn't already been said, and by some damn near as I'd have said it myself.

There are a few in here that are dead-on the mark with how you want to get things done. But in the same sense that there are things you asked for to help facilitate it, I want to leave you with something that I look at regularly, especially when it gets really difficult to "continue to invest time, energy and effort into a non-income producing activity that I sometimes don't enjoy all that much."

This refers to what I have to remind myself of, in building my business. But building a business is much like building any other relationship, or making any other deal, be it for personal or financial benefit. In that sense, it can be made to apply to any goal. Just alter a few words that don't apply to those that do. So here goes my lil bit of encouragement:

Don't Quit



When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh...

When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with it's twists and turns,
As every one of us, sometimes learns...

And many a failure turns about,
When you might have won had you stuck it out.

Don't give up, though the pace seems slow ---

You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out ---

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

You never can tell how close you are;
It may be near, when it seems so far...

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit ---

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

I realize this might seem a little cheesy to some, but I've found it to be inspiration, keeping me from packing it in when there were massive odds against my success at times.

So here's hoping that you can get the most out of what everyone has told you so far octavia.

Peace.

Tora Kuo



_____________________________

Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: need some encouragment... - 6/13/2007 12:07:43 PM   
SirCache


Posts: 159
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline
No one likes the word patient when it keeps us from something we want.  To help 'speed things along' in getting to meet people, however, you can try a few things.

Other people have said it, but definitely update your profile and flesh out what interests you, what you seek from a relationship, what kind of role you see for yourself in a relationship.  You can also look at the ads placed by dominants.  Don't expect them to find you--some of the most rewarding relationships are from people who I did not immediately notice who made a point of introducing themselves.  And the other phrase people hate:  Try, try again.  Just because you meet a person does not make them what you were really looking for.

One word about poly couples, though:  Ask for clarification because there are many shades of poly.  Some people are poly-friendly, some are open, some are looking for closed relationships, and all sorts of varients inbetween.  Generally speaking, though, meet people in public locations and just get to know them.  There's a local BDSM group near to me and we go out to a coffee shop and just spend the evening chatting.  It's fun, it's public, and people can gauge how the group feels without being committed to a place they are unsure of.


(in reply to octavia)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: need some encouragment... - 6/13/2007 12:21:30 PM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet

I started to send you a private message, but decided that what I want to say should be posted out here for all to see.
I get so tired of people coming in here and asking for encouragement and advice only to be trampled on by the same people who continually skip from one post to the other looking for their next victim.
I'm thinking more like Farimir, but a little more 'delicate' perhaps?  I know exactly how you feel.  I spent too many years in a vanilla marriage with a man who didn't feel the need for intimacy the way I did.  I was always going on vacations/trips by myself or with the kids while he worked.  I would look around me and see all the happy couples and it just made me all the more miserable.  I had lots of friends who would tell me to just go out and do my own thing.  Well, that's not the way I am.  I'm just not happy living by myself (which is essentially was what I was doing).  I tried, I really did.  I need someone in my life.  I crave intimacy.  I got a divorce and started all over again.  I decided that this time I wasn't going to settle for anything less than the whole package.  And I didn't.  And I don't think you will either.
Going to munches by yourself is DAMN hard!  It was hard for my hubby and I to go to our first one together.  I can only imagine how much harder it would have been to go by myself.  BUT....ya gotta do it.  (And I think you know that already.)  I believe there were some good suggestions about getting to know some people ahead of time.  That's a great idea.  And you're absolutely right about groups each having their own personality.  There are some groups I love to do things with and others I find nothing in common with at all.  Problem is you've got to go a few times before you can figure that out.  Domiguy makes a good point about word of mouth too.  The more events I went to, the more people I got to know and it very quickly snowballed.  People would actually tell me they came because they were hoping I would be there.  I've finally reached the point where I'm not afraid to go anywhere by myself because I'm quite sure someone I know will be there, and usually several.!
You're a beautiful girl and you handle yourself well.  I'm impressed with how you handled the 'cannibals' in this post.  You seem to have your wits about you and you're obviously no dummy.  You're just going through a tough period.  This too shall pass.  And while you're waiting, take a look through the Dom profiles.  There are new people joining every day. 
You have a well written profile now, some good pics, and most importantly you're putting yourself out there.  Keep your chin up hon.  Things WILL get better.
Mistress Scarlet 

HUGS
Thank you soooooo much!!!
I can't tell you how bad  i needed to read that today.
*sets her jaw and holds her chin a lil higher...*
octavia

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: need some encouragment... - 6/13/2007 12:23:37 PM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerNINTails

octavia,

I don't know what I could tell you, that hasn't already been said, and by some damn near as I'd have said it myself.

.... So here goes my lil bit of encouragement:

Don't Quit



When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh...

When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with it's twists and turns,
As every one of us, sometimes learns...

And many a failure turns about,
When you might have won had you stuck it out.

Don't give up, though the pace seems slow ---

You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out ---

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

You never can tell how close you are;
It may be near, when it seems so far...

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit ---

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
-------------------------------------------------------------------



Tora Kuo




I don't think it's cheesy at all. 
I think it was very kind of you to share with me, thank you.
octavia

(in reply to TigerNINTails)
Profile   Post #: 44
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