Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves?

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Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 4:18:10 PM

onmykneesforhim

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Just print it here for all to see.
I have asked a few, and the most of the masters replies
were * I love her in my own way*
Its a yes or no question really.
Does a Master feel weak or threathened by this emotion? DO they tend not to *go all out* in fear of hurting their lover?
Im not asking married couples, They are in love.(or should be already)

omk

RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 4:20:47 PM

MzMia

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LOL, I have a feeling this thread is going to be Grrrrreat!

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 4:22:04 PM

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perhaps its because if you love someone, you have some measure of control over them, and they dont like that?

honestly.... i have no idea, but i'm interested in the responses you will get

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 4:23:16 PM

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I don't know who you've been talking with, but I don't agree. You see plenty of Masters in love with their slaves...just read the boards. Now, I think SOME Masters think it's undomly to admit it so they give a lame answer like "I love her in my own way", but I don't believe that's the majority.

Uh, if you happen to be one of those who answered that...strike the "lame" comment! LOL!

< Message edited by bandit25 -- 6/3/2007 4:28:08 PM >

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 4:28:21 PM

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Well from what I have seen.... that little four letter word can be extremely powerful for many women... So I would take a guess that many Masters refrain from using it as a way to extert control... as for me I don't think the little four letter L word can do justice in describing the way I feel about my Daddy, and in turn how he feels about me.

kittin

< Message edited by YourShyPet -- 6/3/2007 4:29:00 PM >

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 4:33:03 PM

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Well, my Daddy/Master said that to me first and it took me awhile to say it back...but i did and i think it is a control thing for him to see how i respond to this..does he really "Love" me...he has affection but if it is true love i am not sure..but i find it did draw me in more and that was a good thing because i can be standoffish at first...and it strengthened our relationship....Love is a powerful word and can mean many things to many people..some people say it to everyone...

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 4:38:11 PM

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I've seen this 'theory' a lot in the past, although I don't think I could apply it to my life.

What you see time and again is that two people get together for what they believe is going to be a BDSM relationship where part of what they do is top/bottom (sensation or painplay). 'Hurting' someone that you don't love is easy. But when love creeps in, then it almost becomes some weird moralistic about-face. They find they can't top anymore. Rather like seeing two people have a wonderful sex life until they get married, and it all dries up.

My theory has always been that I visit places like these because a) I'm kinky and that ISN'T going away, and b) I want to meet someone who shares those kinks. Why on earth, upon meeting someone like that, would I then wish to 'turn it off'?

Unthinkable. Unspeakable.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 4:43:02 PM

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I've only been in one D/s relationship. It lasted four years, until he died. He loved me, I loved him. It was the only time in my life that I can honestly say the love was completely reciprical.

So one Dom at least, loved his sub.

(in reply to mstrjx)

RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 4:53:36 PM

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the Evil Overlord swears he doesn't love, not just me, but anyone...he says that he "cares about me"...i do, however, love him with all my being...the way that he treats me is more like love than the way anybody else has ever treated me...his feelings for me remain constant no matter what i do or say...this doesn't stop him from doing anything to or for me, in fact it probably enhances what he does for me...he is not Sadist, but i am Masochist...when he hurts me, i know that he does it for a couple of reasons: he likes to see the pleasure that i receive from it, my reactions; he maintains the control over this at all times: it's his choice whether he gives me pain or not...because he isn't a Sadist & i wanted so badly to explore my limits in that area, he allowed me to play with a Sadist...once i had safe-worded with this man, i knew where my limits are & no longer have the need for exploration in that area...each thing that OL does for me & to me has those feelings behind it & i revel in it...i don't need the words to experience the feelings...i always know that he has my best interests in mind & can trust that if i do what he decides it will always be the right thing for me.......

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 4:54:54 PM

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Some do and some don't and their motivations vary.

There is no truth to a universal statement that masters do not fall in love with their slaves, just like there is no truth in a universal statement that masters do fall in love with their slaves.

The one who owns alandra and I loves us deeply, passionately and without reservation. The depth of his emotions for us can bring tears to his eyes and his love fuels his dominance and sadism towards us.

Knight's kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 5:00:43 PM

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I just asked Master this question, because I can't answer it, i am not a Master.      This is what he said:

"Because it destroys the M/s relationship."

I tried to get him to explain his answer, and he said "that is my answer, you asked me, and I told you, period."

Not much help, huh?    lol.

a~

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 5:03:30 PM

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Plenty of M/s couples share eros love deeply, fully and reciprocally. Of course there are those people who have a model of love and power that is a single axis scale, where at one end we find authority, power, the willingness to exercise it, and at the other end love and intimacy. Given such a model, you can choose between fully wielding authority, fully loving, or some sort of partial solution that compromises both.

I think that is a pretty stupid model. A better model would be the one behind the Marshalk Interactive Method assesment tool (MIMS): love and discipline on seperate axes. In the middle of each axis is a healthy norm, and at the axis ends an unhealthy excess or an unhealthy abscence. So one might love in a healthy way (the midpoint), be coldly unattached at one end and smothering at the other end. On the discipline axis, one might be properly authoritative at the midpoint, weak at one end and arbitrarily or tyrannically weilding power at the other end.

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 5:35:23 PM

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I am a Mistress and I love my sub very much. I agree that alot of Dominants believe that falling in love with a sub/slave does give that submissive some power over them. But I'd rather give that much then be cold and nonfeeling, for to be cold and nonfeeling is like being dead inside.

~Lashra

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 5:45:04 PM

BrutalMasterOne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: onmykneesforhim

Just print it here for all to see.
I have asked a few, and the most of the masters replies
were * I love her in my own way*
Its a yes or no question really.
Does a Master feel weak or threathened by this emotion? DO they tend not to *go all out* in fear of hurting their lover?
Im not asking married couples, They are in love.(or should be already)

omk

Let me state right at the outset that what I feel/think is for ME, I cannot and would not presume to speak for anyone else. BDSM and particularly "Master/slave" means different things to different people. As I view it, (my view not meant to apply to anyone else) a "slave" is a person who is willing to give up all for the Master and to follow him on regular trips into hell.

The "Master" on the other hand must be able to control/own his "property." Women are human and when love enters the equation it is the rare woman who would not resort to, "If you love me you would..." So if the Master is and/or says he is in love then the slave has a weapon that she can use

In my view the Master must be a strong island, not needing others, able to be totally self sufficient. As such he can do as he pleases for no one in any way can threaten him, not by guilt, not by leaving, etc.

So for this Master it is indeed very rare for a slave to hear the I love you words. HOWEVER, and this is important, actions speak louder than words! I do care for and cherish all the women who I have been fortunate enough to have call me "Master" and any of them, even those long gone would only have to ask and I would do whatever I could to help them. So perhaps it is not that we don't feel the emotions of love but to give voice to it, well that is way too much for while I am torturing a woman I love what she is giving me, but at that exact moment I am not sure I love anyone other than myself.

I think a Master is inherently selfish and that is not in a bad way, it is just how they are.

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 6:00:20 PM

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I have been with my owner 7 years. I love him deeply :). He adores me, cares for deeply, takes extremely good care of me and my little guy. He doesn't feel weak or threatened by being in love, he has been in love, more than once. He just never fell in love with me, it isn't intentional, he isn't trying not too. He goes all out for us, I feel loved by him. I don't have any idea why he has never fallen in love with me. We are extremely tight, this is a rest of our lives relationship to him. I think most people do fall in love...dynamics aside.

quote:

ORIGINAL: onmykneesforhim

Just print it here for all to see.
I have asked a few, and the most of the masters replies
were * I love her in my own way*
Its a yes or no question really.
Does a Master feel weak or threathened by this emotion? DO they tend not to *go all out* in fear of hurting their lover?
Im not asking married couples, They are in love.(or should be already)

omk

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to onmykneesforhim)

RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 6:02:51 PM

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Please pardon this slave for butting in on an "Ask a Master" thread but, i have had just the opposite concern and that is, "What if my Master starts liking me too much? Will He have difficulty being a Master to me? Will it be hard for Him to be so strict with me or to give me the harsh whippings & torture that He has been giving me and that i need so much?"

i wonder if there are any Masters who have experienced this in their relationships with their slaves. Perhaps someone would like to start a new thread about that aspect of the M/s relationship.......Thank You for indulging my intrusion into this topic of discussion.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to BrutalMasterOne)

RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 6:26:02 PM

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For me, the answer isn't wrapped up in Ms, but rather wrapped up in what our society say being "in love" is at heart. What I have observed has lead me to believe that being "in love" as society puts forth is a negative form of desperate attachment. "Everything I do, I do it for you" is, in my eyes, a horrible way to live. We MUST see that we "do" in order to honor ourselves as much as we honor our partners. Otherwise, we are sacrificing pieces of ourselve in order to gain the love and acceptance of our partners...something that should be given freely, not bought.

So, when someone asks me if I'm in love with my slaves and partners, I'm hesitant to say yes because I don't want MY love to be misunderstood as that desperate love (the kind I have for my husbands). I love anne (my slave). I love jason (potential slave). I love Conan (friend and partner). I love them all in different ways, in ways that I can't quite explain and deeply. All I can say is that they are extremely meaningful to me and I am and will forever be grateful to have them in my life.

Not sure if that made any sense, but hey, you asked! LOL

Master Fire

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 8:02:32 PM

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Sometimes they do, you know.

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 9:01:05 PM

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Same as any other relationship, some like their partner some love them, if they dont love them as such but do like them then its not going to be a perminant thing in my book why live a long term relationship with someone that does not love them?

I dont settle for second best if it comes to someone perminant, and i dont expect who i end up with to consider me second best either.

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RE: Why do Masters NOT fall in love with thier slaves? - 6/3/2007 9:07:26 PM

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Why does anyone NOT fall in love or fall in love with anyone? It is an unanswerable question. It either happens or it does not. You cannot control developing feelings of love, you can only control your actions on what to do about it.

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