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RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/5/2007 5:49:20 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
Hello julia's master,

If your rules are working for you and your slave, then it must be working. I am thinking that it may not be working though, and that is why you had her post this thread, although I could be wrong about that one...

I could go over each aspect of your post, pick it apart, but I am not going to. I will tell you what my impression of what life as your slave would seem like to me..

I can imagine a life in which I had a lot of rules to follow, the expectations of following those rules must be met, or I would deal with a harsh punishment. I would have very little time to have any sort of existence outside of work and being your slave. I would find no warm words, no rewards, no soft place to land, no understanding of what my life must be like. I would find little joy in such an existence... I think life should be a rewarding thing, and constantly serving someone that had very little compassion for me, my experiences on a day to day basis, very little nice to say to me, would just be an empty life to me.

My impression maybe completely wrong, but that is what the OP gave me the feeling of, that it would just be a sad thing to be owned by you... but different people have different needs.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/5/2007 5:51:20 PM >


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedjulia)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/5/2007 6:25:31 PM   
LordJessie


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I've been having a lot of mental debates with myself over whether "conformity" in some way is a necessary element of a Ms relationship...or can there be a situation in which everyone is just so darned well matched and so darned lucky, that no one really needs to conform to anything...they just fit perfectly and happily and no one twists or conforms?

I don't mean training or growing- I mean conforming or changing or repressing.

I haven't come to an answer yet, just things I'm mulling over. 


I would say the two elements, conformity and submission are very often linked, but not certainly tangible. I would say submission is the goal and conformity is the process and work to get to that goal.

Hence, if someone were so well matched, it would still be dominance and submission. I lead and she follows. There would be just no work or process needed to achieve what is already there.

Aww...if life were that easy...

Yes, if it were that easy, and I am pleased to state that it can be.  It is for Me finally.  After embracing this lifestyle for over ten years, just over a year ago I met such a one.  Mine fulfills My every desire and need, not through My training, but through her own instincts, and desire to serve and please Me.  She came to Me from the beginning,open ,willing and eager to be taught and trained.  New to the life.  I was amazed that there was little to nothing to teach. No training needed.  she did and does know instinctively how to serve Me,what I desire and what I need.  Small nuances aside(which shoe comes off/goes on first,how I wish to be addressed,how much cream cheese I want on My bagel) there has  been nothing to teach.  In the beginning, she often said she felt it hard to believe that there wasnt more that I wanted or expected,because she  was simply doing what she felt was right.  I on the other hand often accused her of  reading my mail LOL ... as she always seems to anticipate and fulfill my every desire and need.  So yes LA, such a relationship is possible.  I am living it. and I am pleased to report it is "that easy" MadRabbit. Maybe it only comes once in a lifetime, and perhaps only to a few, but it does exist, and it is all you imagine it to be and more.



< Message edited by LordJessie -- 6/5/2007 6:28:23 PM >


_____________________________

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/5/2007 7:42:11 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedjulia

This posting has been written to promote healthy debate on ownership styles. It will certainly shock some people and cause others to mark me as an uncaring, unfeeling brute - if it does then I have failed in what I am attempting to portray.

I currently own a slave, she is the second I have owned, the first leaving due to personal and family reasons. My 'style' of ownership is total. I adore control - it is the very centre of my being. The areas below touch briefly on what I expect from a slave.


Limits


  Limits are always contentious issues. Should a slave be allowed to have limits?
  In my mind this is looking at limits in the wrong way. Limits will come along whether we wish them to or not. I work and I expect my girls to work as well. Any job will impose limits. For example a job will impose a dress code and I will impose a dress code of my own. My girls know that what I want comes first but they must also Be bright enough to understand that I expect them to work therefore they dress as work dictates for work and as I require at all other times.
if I meet a girl for lunch or after work I expect her to be dressed how I want
This may mean several clothes changes in the day - tough. It is what’s expected.


  When starting off a relationship with a new girl then I will allow some limits during that time. It’s important that a new girl feels relaxed and has confidence in the person who will own her. After about six months she should have an understanding of exactly what I expect and be ready to commit. If not then the door is there use it and save the pair of us from any grief and that’s something I use throughout a slaves time of servitude. It’s very simple, slave obeys or leaves.

Expectations I have of a Slave
A slave Must always serve to the absolute best of her ability no matter the task, how much she likes/dislikes the task, no matter how long she has been awake, no matter how she feels.
Anything less is an insult.  
Does she deserve a 'good girl' for giving perfect service?
If she does the absolute best she can in a task then she has merely met expectations and no praise should ever be expected for that.  
I DO NOT expect any of my girls to come to me with an issue or a problem. The order has been given, get on with it – deal with issues and problems yourself because I don’t care.
If you seek clarity on an order then by all means come and chat with me and I will explain further but don’t give me problems. If I want problems I will go to work. I only want intelligent girls so they can deal with the problems and issues themselves.

Punishment
Something I often hear is that the punishment must fit the crime and I agree, something else I hear is that the punishment must be proportional to the crime and here I disagree.
Any misbehaviour committed by one of my girls will be met with a punishment that exceeds the crime.
A punishment that is proportional to the crime will only leave an impression on the mind for a short period of time. Make it MUCH larger than that and it will leaving an impression for a far longer time. The aim here is to ensure that the girl truly understands. A slave girl who serves me is expected to give her absolute and total best at ALL times. Failure to carry out an order, to understand an order, to fail in a task means punishment and not all punishment is about pain. There are thousands of ways to punish a slave who fails as long as the message of why she failed and how disappointed you are gets through to her then its all good.

What about a relationship?
I may come across as harsh and uncaring but a relationship being an owner and His property is important. If a girl does exceed her best then she should be rewarded. It is also nice to curl up with a girl and watch a movie and do other things together but it’s important that the girl still knows her place during these times, in fact these times can reinforce who is in charge.


  SSC vs RACK
I hate and detest SSC because NOTHING we do is actually SSC.
SSC – Safe, Sane, Consensual
How can knife play, gun play and many others be considered safe?
How can any of us who enjoy being sadists be considered sane?
Consensual is utterly stupid – Girl consents when she agrees to become the owners slave.
  RACK works better – Risk Aware Consensual Kink.
With Rack as long as both owner and slave know the risks then slave gets on with it – end of discussion. It is not the slaves place to try to bargain or get out of anything ‘risky’. It’s slaves place to deal with it and accept it.
Again, it’s a matter of total obedience and total power exchange.
The military have a wonderful term C3 (C Cubed) which stands for Command, Control, Communication – Perfect words for a TPE relationship and worth remembering alongside RACK.  

Conclusion
You will have to forgive if this is a little all over the place. I wrote this on the train going in to work. I have asked julia to post it because I want her to read it and tell me where she has been going wrong recently. I am also curious to see how much of a discussion it promotes.
  Thank you for your time.


So your style is zero positive reinforcenment, 100% negative reinforcement, with a couple of "possibly" nice, cozy times spent with her walking on eggshells around you?
Uh, yeah.  Good luck with that.


_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to ownedjulia)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 5:43:02 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline
What I've gotten from the op is that unless she exceeds the best, which is a logical impossibility,  she gets the crap beaten out of her. If she has any problem and can't solve it, and by definition if she could solve it then it wouldn't be a problem, she gets the crap beaten out of her. No matter how tiny a mistake is, she gets the crap beaten out of her.

Yeah I can see why this is considered abuse and why it isn't working. Hopefully the op can too, as for her master I think he's beyond hope.

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 5:53:51 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline
Hi softness,
 
this is wonderful.

"For me, owneerhsip is not abusing the power that has been given, it is not using "service" as an excuse to dismiss a girls needs and wellbeing. When i bought my house it was not perfect, it needed work, before it would be the home of my dreams changes had to be made. There was a nasty draft, so i fixed the windows. The kitchen was dark, so i refitted it. The bathroom was grimy, so i retiled. I cannot now assume that my house is perfect and i need to complete no more maintenance. I have to work hard at keeping my house the welcoming, nest of comfort that i have created here.
 
 
I likened it to being a vehicle and when the dummy lights come on and you keep driving and expecting the same kind of ride without putting oil, gas or water, new tires.the preformance of said vehicle will start to be effected till the point the vehicle quits running.

I did not thrive in any other kind of being owned situation when there is a complete and total lack of responsibility on the part of the owner, i will forget i am a slave and take my will back
 

"Ownership is not an act of purchase alone. Ownership is a committment of responibility
"

this should be used on a siggie line

have a good one


(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 6:03:45 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub


"Ownership is not an act of purchase alone. Ownership is a committment of responibility
"

this should be used on a siggie line

have a good one




Just wanted to add my two cents that it is a wonderful phrase.

I often compare owning a sub/slave/pet with owning a throughbreed horse. If you treat them well, they will do wonderful things for you. But you don't ride them without giving them their treat at the end!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to fyreredsub)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 6:13:43 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline
mornin auquatic,

its amazing to me how an owner/master can think that just slapping a collar around a girls throat is all that needs to be done to get the slave to preform at her best continually


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 6:59:01 AM   
MistressSophia


Posts: 61
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
I think that . their level of Master/slave ownership is differeent then most. There isn't a  confusion of who is Master and who is slave and what is expected.  This type of ownership leads to no confusion. I didn't  read a thread from the slave. But he clearly states she may leave at any time . should she not want this type of ownwership. Not all slaves want a mix of slavery. and fuzzy nights.  This is just how I understood the thread. And I agree with the Master

_____________________________

A whisper in the dark of the night, freezes the soul. and sets the heart on fire!

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 7:11:56 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSophia

I think that . their level of Master/slave ownership is differeent then most. There isn't a  confusion of who is Master and who is slave and what is expected.  This type of ownership leads to no confusion. I didn't  read a thread from the slave. But he clearly states she may leave at any time . should she not want this type of ownwership. Not all slaves want a mix of slavery. and fuzzy nights.  This is just how I understood the thread. And I agree with the Master


This statement assumes that is confusion in relationships that aren't of "this level". Which I must say is blatantly false. I don't think any of the people who replied have any confusion as to who is the master or slave in their relationship.

I know I certainly don't.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 6/6/2007 7:26:37 AM >


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MistressSophia)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 7:40:45 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline
fast reply

i agree with alot of what the Owner in the Op says and does.

i also i feel an owner needs to take responsibility ...a car doesnt put its own gas in the tank theory

(in reply to MistressSophia)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 7:46:42 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
i also i feel an owner needs to take responsibility ...a car doesnt put its own gas in the tank theory

That's where the analogy falls apart.  A master is more than capable of ordering its "car" to go fill itself up in any means it cares to.  In fact I know a lot of masters who would get pissed if they needed to keep track of and schedule each and every time they needed to get a drink (fill up) sleep (change air filter) or have an oil change (poop), although some do enjoy being asked first.

Not saying that a master CAN'T do those things, simply that I don't see much real life evidence of slaves being treated literally as cars.  It's a decent analogy, but all analogies have their problems and points where they become unusable.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to fyreredsub)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 8:33:37 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline
hey LA,

i was coming from the Gorean end of the spectrum as thats  pretty much all i know from the slave end of things....and actually you made the point i was trying to,,,

yes the Master can order the car to fill itself up-when He notices it needs doing....
its those that dont that i have issue with...

and i'm not talking micromanagement at all,one can have a tight chain without.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 10:38:10 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub


"Ownership is not an act of purchase alone. Ownership is a committment of responibility
"

this should be used on a siggie line

have a good one




Just wanted to add my two cents that it is a wonderful phrase.

I often compare owning a sub/slave/pet with owning a throughbreed horse. If you treat them well, they will do wonderful things for you. But you don't ride them without giving them their treat at the end!


thankyou both ... *s*

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 11:18:27 AM   
jssubc


Posts: 46
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline
First time that i have posted here and i hope that it works, computer dummy that i am.
i do feel that it is far to easy to pick apart what someone has entered into text, there is absolutely no way that the writer can explain themselves fully or cover off all of the loose ends.
By and large i agree with the views stated, i certainly dont expect a "good boy" from Mistress just for doing what is expected of me. Frankly i would be insulted if Mistress felt that i needed to be reassured for everything i did for Her. She has fair expectations and because of my addiction to pleasing Her i do my utmost to exceed them. That's how i earn Her praise and heavens it feels good when i get it.
Mistress cares for me when i am sick and chatizes me when i deserve it, i certainly dont need or want molly coddling, i am here to serve Her, not myself. Serving Her just happens to make me feel complete.
It is hard to stick your neck out in a forum like this because of the ease with which it can be chopped off. i respect the writer and i would like to thank him for taking the time to speak his mind.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 11:34:15 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jssubc

Mistress cares for me when i am sick and chatizes me when i deserve it, i certainly dont need or want molly coddling, i am here to serve Her, not myself. Serving Her just happens to make me feel complete.
It is hard to stick your neck out in a forum like this because of the ease with which it can be chopped off. i respect the writer and i would like to thank him for taking the time to speak his mind.



Nobody is taking about coddling submissives, but simply that expecting them to exceed their best is impossible since their best is their best is their best. Until their skill set changes, their best will always be their best and if you could do better than what you were doing, what you were doing wasn't your best.

I think many of us have expressed the sentiment of "We are glad it works for you, but it would never work for us," because we see a difference between coddling and only getting praise when you happen to get a new recipe, better baking tip or your sewing skill increases because you took a class. Then, for awhile, you have exceeded your personal best. However, as long you keep making things to that quality level, this new best will become the standard. Then you'll have to take another class to increase the standard. And while I'm all about learning new skills, it just seems... well

Frankly it just seems like constantly banging your head against a wall just to get a simple "good girl" that really doesn't take any effort on their part.

My .02

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to jssubc)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master - 6/6/2007 2:28:44 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Frankly it just seems like constantly banging your head against a wall just to get a simple "good girl" that really doesn't take any effort on their part.


I agree that praise is a very cheap and effective tool in the arsenal of the dominant. Praising a submissive for the good that she does just brings out more good.

I suppose what I find to be most disheartening about the idea of existing in a dynamic without much praise or positive reinforcement is that it would demonstrate a lack of gratitude on the part of the dominant in the relationship. I am judging this on a personal level, I would not want to serve someone that did not appreciate or value me. I would not want to be with someone that had little gratitude in life toward the things that made their life good. I would not want a dominant that took life (and me) for granted. It is a spiritual thing to me, being grateful for things... including the service of a good slave or submissive.

In my life I awake and think of the things I am most grateful for, and my Daddy is always on that list, as is my health, my UM, and my other family. Someone that did not take stock in what they had worth valuing and appreciating would not get far with me.

When I was at my Daddy's with my UM, he told my UM how much he appreciated my ability to simply be able to converse about things over dinner... not small talk about the weather, but substantive things... or just joke around, he was appreciative of this simple thing in me... and that praise STILL rings in my ears. It STILL causes me to remember and have positive feelings toward him. It STILL reminds me of what a man he is to appreciate something that some people take for granted in each other, and to call attention to it, and to praise me to my UM over it...and it inspires me to be better tomorrow than I am today



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 76
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