Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (Full Version)

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ownedjulia -> Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 12:37:25 PM)

This posting has been written to promote healthy debate on ownership styles. It will certainly shock some people and cause others to mark me as an uncaring, unfeeling brute - if it does then I have failed in what I am attempting to portray.

I currently own a slave, she is the second I have owned, the first leaving due to personal and family reasons. My 'style' of ownership is total. I adore control - it is the very centre of my being. The areas below touch briefly on what I expect from a slave.


Limits


  Limits are always contentious issues. Should a slave be allowed to have limits?
  In my mind this is looking at limits in the wrong way. Limits will come along whether we wish them to or not. I work and I expect my girls to work as well. Any job will impose limits. For example a job will impose a dress code and I will impose a dress code of my own. My girls know that what I want comes first but they must also Be bright enough to understand that I expect them to work therefore they dress as work dictates for work and as I require at all other times.
if I meet a girl for lunch or after work I expect her to be dressed how I want
This may mean several clothes changes in the day - tough. It is what’s expected.


  When starting off a relationship with a new girl then I will allow some limits during that time. It’s important that a new girl feels relaxed and has confidence in the person who will own her. After about six months she should have an understanding of exactly what I expect and be ready to commit. If not then the door is there use it and save the pair of us from any grief and that’s something I use throughout a slaves time of servitude. It’s very simple, slave obeys or leaves.

Expectations I have of a Slave
A slave Must always serve to the absolute best of her ability no matter the task, how much she likes/dislikes the task, no matter how long she has been awake, no matter how she feels.
Anything less is an insult.  
Does she deserve a 'good girl' for giving perfect service?
If she does the absolute best she can in a task then she has merely met expectations and no praise should ever be expected for that.  
I DO NOT expect any of my girls to come to me with an issue or a problem. The order has been given, get on with it – deal with issues and problems yourself because I don’t care.
If you seek clarity on an order then by all means come and chat with me and I will explain further but don’t give me problems. If I want problems I will go to work. I only want intelligent girls so they can deal with the problems and issues themselves.

Punishment
Something I often hear is that the punishment must fit the crime and I agree, something else I hear is that the punishment must be proportional to the crime and here I disagree.
Any misbehaviour committed by one of my girls will be met with a punishment that exceeds the crime.
A punishment that is proportional to the crime will only leave an impression on the mind for a short period of time. Make it MUCH larger than that and it will leaving an impression for a far longer time. The aim here is to ensure that the girl truly understands. A slave girl who serves me is expected to give her absolute and total best at ALL times. Failure to carry out an order, to understand an order, to fail in a task means punishment and not all punishment is about pain. There are thousands of ways to punish a slave who fails as long as the message of why she failed and how disappointed you are gets through to her then its all good.

What about a relationship?
I may come across as harsh and uncaring but a relationship being an owner and His property is important. If a girl does exceed her best then she should be rewarded. It is also nice to curl up with a girl and watch a movie and do other things together but it’s important that the girl still knows her place during these times, in fact these times can reinforce who is in charge.


  SSC vs RACK
I hate and detest SSC because NOTHING we do is actually SSC.
SSC – Safe, Sane, Consensual
How can knife play, gun play and many others be considered safe?
How can any of us who enjoy being sadists be considered sane?
Consensual is utterly stupid – Girl consents when she agrees to become the owners slave.
  RACK works better – Risk Aware Consensual Kink.
With Rack as long as both owner and slave know the risks then slave gets on with it – end of discussion. It is not the slaves place to try to bargain or get out of anything ‘risky’. It’s slaves place to deal with it and accept it.
Again, it’s a matter of total obedience and total power exchange.
The military have a wonderful term C3 (C Cubed) which stands for Command, Control, Communication – Perfect words for a TPE relationship and worth remembering alongside RACK.  

Conclusion
You will have to forgive if this is a little all over the place. I wrote this on the train going in to work. I have asked julia to post it because I want her to read it and tell me where she has been going wrong recently. I am also curious to see how much of a discussion it promotes.
  Thank you for your time.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 12:49:08 PM)

I would like clarification on what you define as a "problem" versus "clarification."  You claim to adore having control, and yet you want absolutely nothing to do with problem solving?

Why do you not want to deal with any problems, but you DO like to do "nice things together?"

How can someone do more than their best unless through sheer luck interfering?



ownedjulia -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 12:53:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I would like clarification on what you define as a "problem" versus "clarification."  You claim to adore having control, and yet you want absolutely nothing to do with problem solving?

I promblem solve during the day, I don't mind assisting my slave with issues/problems she has. What I DON'T want is her whining about something or not seeing the blindinly obvious answer to a problem. Maybe I could have phrased that better - Bascially I don't expect stupidity.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Why do you not want to deal with any problems, but you DO like to do "nice things together?"

How can someone do more than their best unless through sheer luck interfering?



I hope my answer above clarifies and thanks for pointing out the error.




Domspaintoy -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 12:57:21 PM)

Hello to Master and slave,

As usual and as julias' Master and she knows from chats W/we have had i agree on most of what He has said.  i often wonder at expectations and whether they are set too high. im always wary of saying to much to ownedjulias Master as its bitten me on the bum a cpl of times  lol

Best wishes to you B/both

Dpt. [:D]



AquaticSub -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 1:09:37 PM)

This style of ownership is something that Valyraen and I completely disagree with. If I try my best and failed, then I still tried my best. I may not be praised, but I won't be punished. If I try my best and suceed, then yes I will be praised. Why not? Is it really going to threaten your control to say "Good job you did organizing the bookcase"?

No, it's not. It's just going to make a person feel appreciated.

I'm happy this works for you and yours. But I hope you understand that what works for you and yours would be completely wrong for others.



ready4srvce4all -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 1:51:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedjulia


Expectations I have of a Slave
A slave Must always serve to the absolute best of her ability no matter the task, how much she likes/dislikes the task, no matter how long she has been awake, no matter how she feels.
Anything less is an insult.  


Each relationship has its own dynamics, but this statement borders on the definition of oxymoron.  How can someone possibly be doing their best if they are exhausted/sick?  An example, if the slave has been awake for say over 24 hours, would it be an insult if she said, she was too tired to drive?  Is there a sliding scale when it comes to "best of their ability"?  In other words, is her absolute best always the same regardless of how she feels?



Lashra -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 1:56:18 PM)

As  a Mistress this style of ownership would not work for me. I want my sub/slave to be able to talk to me about anything and everything. If he couldn't then who would he talk to about it?

I am glad that your style works for you, I just know that it would not work for everyone.

~Lashra and slutjack



heartfeltsub -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:02:37 PM)

quote:



If she does the absolute best she can in a task then she has merely met expectations and no praise should ever be expected for that. 

A slave girl who serves me is expected to give her absolute and total best at ALL times.

If a girl does exceed her best then she should be rewarded


Please explain to me how someone can exceed their best, if it is the best he or she can do, it is the best they can do, if they exceed that, then he or she wasn't doing his or her best earlier. These statements make absolutely no sense to me at all.

Also with AS, this is not a structure that i would function well in. If i don't understand a command, i am expected to ask for clarification before doing something that isn't what He wants me to do. Also, though not all the time, He does tell me when He thinks i have done a good job at something that He has commanded me to do.

heartfelt



LaTigresse -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:07:58 PM)

If it works for the two of you great.

To me, it's more of an example of how to set someone up to fail and I try not to do that.



drawntothedark -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:09:41 PM)

I don't think Justin and I would be happy with the dynamic the OP has given us as an example. First - he really only wants me to try my best. If I fall on my butt while doing so - at least I put forth my best effort.

you said failure to understand an order is cause for punishment. I would not grow in that type of relationship. Walking on egg shells doesn't do well for me.

But I'm glad it's working for you :)



ownedjulia -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:14:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

I don't think Justin and I would be happy with the dynamic the OP has given us as an example. First - he really only wants me to try my best. If I fall on my butt while doing so - at least I put forth my best effort.

you said failure to understand an order is cause for punishment. I would not grow in that type of relationship. Walking on egg shells doesn't do well for me.

But I'm glad it's working for you :)


Ok, Maybe clarification - You can exceed your best. Think of it in a bell curve way (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bell_Curve)

Also, julia is expect to ask for claification - thats fine.
If she has problems following orders because of a mistake I have made then she points it out and gets rewarded because I screwed up.

However, if she does not seek claification OR gets herself too caught up in a problem and doesn't deliver then she is punished.

No egg shells! [:D]

I hope that makes things clearer and it was written about 6am this morning!

Richard, owner of slave julia




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:19:04 PM)

Considering your fairly harsh/disproportionate feelings regarding punishing, it's surprising you would reward her for something as basic as you making a mistake.  She didn't do anything to earn it other than what you expect her to do already.



MistressNoName -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:22:45 PM)

There are some things I agree with in this model and some things that I disagree with. But the only thing I want to comment on is the idea of being punished for failure to understand an order. This I wholly disagree with. Failure to understand an order simply means clarification is called for. Willful disobedience of a fully understood command, now that, I would say, is grounds for serious punishment and discipline.

Whatever works for you , works for you. But I do think punishing for misunderstanding is a bit extreme.

MNN



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:22:48 PM)

whatever works for you however this definitely wouldn't work for me.  Daddy has been there every step of the way assisting with any issues and/or problems i have (including any health concerns with my UMs). - seems to you don't want to help or assist any issues,concerns or problems your slaves might have. i welcome any encouragement Daddy gives me if i've tried my best and failed ...punishment for failing isn't His type of domming style.

as the saying goes - to each his own ...good luck ...think i'll go call Daddy and thank Him for being so loving, nuturing and caring to me again.



heartfeltsub -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:29:47 PM)

One can exceed the statistical average, but the statistical average in not one's best, that is the combination of everyone's bests, not necessarily one person's best. By definition the best a person can do means exactly that it is the absolute best that someone can do, and that can't be exceeded, by definition of the word BEST.

Also this dynamic of never saying when someone has done a good job, it wouldn't work for most people. For example, i don't know if you are the owner of where you work or an employee where you work, but let us apply your Master/ slave dynamic to the work environment for just a moment.

If you are always expected to do your absolute best with no recognition, no recompense, no acknowledgement, it wouldn't matter how many hours you put in on a project, how much overtime, how many lunches you missed to be able to put forth your best, it would all be expected as the norm, with no atta boys or raises for performance because that is what it took to give your best and your best is not worthy of any special recognition. i don't know many people who would survive in such at atmosphere, much as less thrive in it.

i know that as a slave/submissive there are certain things that are just expected and to expect a thank you or well done after each thing, is doing it for the praise and not for the Master's pleasure. However a Master/slave relationship is one in which both parties are supposed to thrive and a plant or person who never receives water, sunlight (ie the occassional well done, i'm proud of you) is going to wither away in drought conditions.

heartfelt



Domspaintoy -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:33:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedjulia

quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

I don't think Justin and I would be happy with the dynamic the OP has given us as an example. First - he really only wants me to try my best. If I fall on my butt while doing so - at least I put forth my best effort.

you said failure to understand an order is cause for punishment. I would not grow in that type of relationship. Walking on egg shells doesn't do well for me.

But I'm glad it's working for you :)


Ok, Maybe clarification - You can exceed your best. Think of it in a bell curve way (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bell_Curve)

Also, julia is expect to ask for claification - thats fine.
If she has problems following orders because of a mistake I have made then she points it out and gets rewarded because I screwed up.

However, if she does not seek claification OR gets herself too caught up in a problem and doesn't deliver then she is punished.

No egg shells! [:D]

I hope that makes things clearer and it was written about 6am this morning!

Richard, owner of slave julia




i have to say, my Master works on exactly the same principle, if im not sure about a task/order/request whatever you wish to call it and i dont ask Him to clarify the point and i get it wrong because i didnt ask then i will be punished and have been punished in the past for it. i learnt from it and havent ever failed to ask for clarification again.

However if when he has issued orders/a task/requested i do something for Him and i havent been sure and sought clarification and then have gone on to complete said task/order/request and pleased Him then my reward will be great and that can be however he sees fit to reward me the greatest reward ill ever get from Him is His smile that lights up His face.

What more can a slave want?



AquaticSub -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:36:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedjulia

Ok, Maybe clarification - You can exceed your best. Think of it in a bell curve way (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bell_Curve)

Also, julia is expect to ask for claification - thats fine.
If she has problems following orders because of a mistake I have made then she points it out and gets rewarded because I screwed up.

However, if she does not seek claification OR gets herself too caught up in a problem and doesn't deliver then she is punished.

No egg shells! [:D]

I hope that makes things clearer and it was written about 6am this morning!

Richard, owner of slave julia



Best means:




1.
of the highest quality, excellence, or standing: the best work; the best students.


If you have done your best then you could not have done any better at that time or it would not have been your best. Now the best chocolate cake I could make a year ago is not as good as the chocolate cake I can make today - that is because I have practiced a lot and my skill has increased. But still, that was the very best that I could do then. I could not have done better at that time.

Best is not a bell curve. Either it is your best or it's not. However, as time goes by and you learn you may be able to do better. However, that best won't change unless something else changes.



Domspaintoy -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:47:12 PM)

Just a thought along with all my others,

perhaps julias Master just has incredibly high standards and has set high goals because He knows they are achieveable?

my Master has very high standards/aims, and im not suggesting for a minute that other Master's/Dom's havent, what im suggesting is, what floats ones boat, clearly rocks another's, it would never do for All to be the same, otherwise there would be some pretty unhappy Master's and slaves.

Dpt.



heartfeltsub -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:55:18 PM)

i have no problem with being expected to do my best, it is also my own demand of myself. my best may and does vary at times due to illness, lack of sleep, etc. my problem with the dynamic, why it wouldn't work for me, nor, in my opinion, would it work for a lot of people, is the total non-recognition of one's labors because the best is expected. Doing my best is always expected of me, however, the fact that i have done so is sometimes acknowledged with a "Thank you" or a "well done".

my other problem with the dynamic is that all rewards come from exceeding one's best, which is categorically impossible, so no rewards are ever earned. 
quote:

If a girl does exceed her best then she should be rewarded.


Again i don't have a problem with having high expectations and expecting them to be met, but with the items that i have specified above.

heartfelt



softness -> RE: Thoughts on owning a slave - By My Master (6/4/2007 2:59:20 PM)

I believe that everyone has a right to the relationship that makes all involved parties happy. I would defend any couple that are both equally fulfilled by their relationship.

If  BOTH of you are happy, secure, fulfilled and contented by this model of ownership, then congratulations.

I would never be happy in a relationship based on this model of ownership, because is seems to me to fail in one basic respect. I am a thinking, feeling person, an intelligent socially responsible adult, i have needs and wants and desires, i have weakness and strengths and talents. That is what becomes owned, that whole entire person.

I will never put myself into the hands of someone who does not value what i hand him. I will never be owned by a person who does not desire my whole person. That means they care for my welfare with the same passion and determination that i desire to serve them. That means they work towards my wellbeing the same way i strive to secure their comfort. That means that with every step i make towards being what they wish me to be, they make that step right beside me, as my Master.  That is was service is to me, what being owned will entail. A journey forward together, in partnership, each providing for the other what is needed for happiness.

For me, owneerhsip is not abusing the power that has been given, it is not using "service" as an excuse to dismiss a girls needs and wellbeing. When i bought my house it was not perfect, it needed work, before it would be the home of my dreams changes had to be made. There was a nasty draft, so i fixed the windows. The kitchen was dark, so i refitted it. The bathroom was grimy, so i retiled. I cannot now assume that my house is perfect and i need to complete no more maintenance. I have to work hard at keeping my house the welcoming, nest of comfort that i have created here.

Ownership is not an act of purchase alone. Ownership is a committment of responibility



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