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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/2/2008 5:08:16 PM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
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From: Tamaris
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quote:

ORIGINAL: l1z

i confess i'm a bit of a newbie but i had to drop into this thread and ask a question. Does anyone know which opinion is held by the majority? i mean there was the beautiful post about having a Master who understood and helped with all her issues but it was immediately followed by two angry posts that generalized us all as monsters. Is no one going to want me because i'm diagnosed?

L1z,

I do not think there is a concensus of oppinion of what the majority or minority feel about others with diagnosed disabilities. Not one of as us as a person or a gender, orientation or preferation is perfect, we all have issues. Diagnosed suggests a person has sought help for things they or others have noticed within themselves, they have taken that step, open minded to the outcome, they have a diagnosis and perhaps treatment, but they also have an opportunity to learn about their known disability and if not become better, but more aware.At the least of it, they have a reason for their displayed tendancies, something with which they can learn to modify or control with medication and/or understanding.

There are people around who care, care about others and with knowledge, will take the trouble to seek more knowledge, as it is their will to understand and help others where they can. What they may get from the situation if something is sought, is the knowledge that they are making life better for another person who may be challenged in their day to day existence. The result of which is the greatest gift given to another, acceptance, understanding and love.

Not everyone is out for themselves as a whole entity, they can get what they need from being the best they can to others.

< Message edited by Aneirin -- 8/2/2008 5:10:17 PM >

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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/2/2008 5:56:25 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I recently read somewhere,not sure if it were on Collarme,that people in the BDSM community are either prone to,or suffer MH issues.Is this true,or is it just that kinky people are more open,and willing to talk with others and therefore seem to suffer when in fact we are no different from any other group in society?

Most of the work that I do is volunteer work -- that limits the pool of my experience. That being said, I don't know that MH issues are any more prevalent in the BDSM community than in the general alternative-lifestyle public. I can't really speak for the general public, because most of my pastoral-care work has been with high-risk or alt-lifestyle communities. I know that people in alt-lifestyle communities (including the BDSM community) have been much more willing to discuss their problems and seek solutions than in some of the other high-risk groups I work with (high-risk adolescents and end-stage disease patients).

I know that there are a lot of people in the 'general public' that I've encountered who I really think would benefit from some help, but who don't really think there is anything wrong with themselves -- despite consistent patterns over the course of years that have key 'danger signs'.

Calla Firestorm

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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/2/2008 8:50:44 PM

g1024

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Joined: 6/27/2008
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do not get involved with a person that has bi polar. save yourself alot of grief.AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, DO NOT!!!!!!! DO IT.

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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/2/2008 10:15:46 PM

subeos

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/23/2008
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Last wannbe dom i was with, had the bipolar problems. What is funny is no one should be told not to get involved with a bipolar person. W/we can make our own choices g1024.
Sometimes we get ourselves in this type of mess because we ourselves have issues. Maybe you should look at why she had everything after 4 days.
Maybe,you were so ready to be Dom you just up and took her in. i am making assumptions. Just know not everyone is like you. Or thinks, behaves just because they have a disorder. or all the same.
Maybe sometime on the couch would help you?

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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/3/2008 12:20:01 PM

Hisgirl2playwith

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Joined: 7/16/2008
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i would first like to say that it is extremely unfair to lump everyone with bi-polar into the category of people to avoid at all costs. i understand Your bitterness, but not all of us are so hard to live with and out of control.

Hippie, when someone goes from idolization of You to a get lost attitude, that sounds an aweful lot like a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder. It often goes hand in hand with Bi-polar. i don't have the link on this comp, but look up the National Institute of Mental Health website. They have tons of very useful information.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hippiekinkster

quote:

ORIGINAL: g1024

I recently ended a relationship with a bi polar individual.Or should I say she ended it with me. I offered her my home and my friendship. she was here for two days and the she said her son of 26 was in the ER. needed to be stabilized and sent home. I live in Oregon. I sent her to pick up her son and bring him here. And he was in mas general.
Needless to say I opened a can of worms. he was diabetic and not taking care of himself. but mooching on mom, and an army deserter to boot.
To cut a long story short. do NOT. under ANY circumstances get involved with a bi polar.Nothing I did was good it was all my fault ect.....yes i am bitter. I came home from work and she and her son were gone. she even took the sheets of of the bed. and then had enough clit to I m me and say she wanted to be friends! not to mention she drained the bank account.
Gregory

Almost the same damn thing just happened to me, except she wasn't living with me, and she didn't take anything. But people like that, who go from "You're fab! Fantastic! I love you!" on a Thursday to "I can't have a relationship just now, I have to take care of myself, and so so you, so goodbye" two days later, well, they will really fuck your head up if you let them. My anger lasted about 2 days or so. I can't stay angry because I realize she has an illness. Suffice it to say that we both burned some bridges.

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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/3/2008 5:39:42 PM

gabrielarya

Posts: 16
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hello all,
i have bi-polar, i personally find that the BDSM lifestyle helps alot with it. The Structure is wonderful for me, and as far as a scene it is not sexual for me it is a complete mental release for me and Master has said that it makes a big difference in me so for me the BDSM lifestyle is great for my mental illness. yes i am on medication as well they have me on seroquel it works well also .. so i think the combination is great for me

that is just my personal experiance

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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/21/2008 8:28:22 AM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I personally hate the thought of someone leaving a relationship or lifestyle because of issues that are being addressed appropriately (under medical care). I do understand that some people consider this "baggage" that they don't want to deal with. But anyone's health can be in jeopardy at any time in their life.

Im not in a relationship and havent for 10 years due to my disorder, I hurt a loving man because I could not contribute to the relationhip equally.(was vanilla btw) he insisted if he could have a tiny peice of me he would be happy. But all I could see was it being totally unfair as he was also supporting me and my 3 teen kids at the time.

I sit on the fringes of the lifestyle also because of it, I do have a maso side and unfortunately endorphone release and panic attacks are near alike to having the same things.

Not being attacted its near impossible to find even friends that want to be othered with my condition which is chronic severe depression, general/social anxiety disorder and many periods of agoraphobia. So even getting the nerve to meet someone and when I do, more than likely will never hear from the again because Im honest up front in order to not waste time, but seeing is believing.

Im at 10 years now dealing with this, sometimes I make strides others I backslide into total darkness. Now Im, flipflopping due to living in NYC where I have no choice but to get outside and walk or take transit to where I need to go for dr's and ect. Its really hard sometimes, if its just in the neighborhood, I make my mind believe the people are dogs and do see alot of dogs walking humans LOL. Strange way to do it but it actually has been working. Crowded places I cannot do period. Im like a caged bird that has to get out that door somehow. But in a way its still progress than Texas and the country didnt afford me since I was reliant on a non relient person to get me to Dr's and such.

I do spend so much times indoors that when I got a physical a couple of months ago the dr as astounded at the lack of Vitamin D in my system with a count of like 15 where 40-50 were normal, so now Im on mega Vit D doses to make up for it.

If you do suffer from the agoraphobic ways and spend alot of time inside, I would strongly advise that you keep level checks on your Vitamin D, its actually weakened my bones as calcium seems to need Vit D to help it along.

Anyways I feel I'm rambling so will stop. Hope it helps with those who suffer from any of these conditions.

And the next person I meet that tells me its all in my head ( well yeah chemically) and get over it is likely to find this 4'10 gal kicking their ass. Over the years I have most alot of memory loss both long and short term and have a terrible time comprehending simple things. This is after a 15 yr career in Insurance which required tons of both.

SF aka Sage

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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/24/2008 11:14:39 PM

Monkeyontuesday

Posts: 357
Joined: 2/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: g1024

do not get involved with a person that has bi polar. save yourself alot of grief.AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, DO NOT!!!!!!! DO IT.

Wow. So it looks like Im alone forever... Get a freaking grip. The difference between people is whether or not they choose to get help. If they refuse assistance, I would treat it the same as anyone with any kind of addiction/ disorder that was left untreated: they are probably going to destroy themselves. But not those whom choose to help themselves.
Thanks for making blanket statements that have almost no basis in reality.

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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/24/2008 11:33:17 PM

Monkeyontuesday

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As I mentioned, I chose to help myself. Yes, at my lowest, I nearly did kill myself -- perhaps the people mentioned were at this point. Perhaps not. Also, perhaps they have other issues going on... Maybe they're even that crappy of a person. You don't have to be Bi Polar to take advantage of others. However, as I don't know the details nor do I particularly care, IMHO if you open your home (and even bank accounts) to someone whom you do not know intimately for an EXTENDED period of time,you're asking for trouble in the first place.

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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/24/2008 11:46:22 PM

MAMandSlave

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http://www.revisef65.org/psychopathology.html
"Results from a research project by Dr. Pamela Connolly (picture) et al, among a group with bondage and sadomasochistic interests (BDSM) showed that

“no evidence was found to support the notion that major disorders -- including depression, anxiety, mania/bipolarity, and obsessive-compulsivity -- are more prevalent among members of the BDSM community than among members of the general population”.

“Indeed, if anything, our findings suggested that members of the BDSM community are less likely than others to present with major disorders.”

Moreover, BDSM players had no greater levels of psychological sadism or masochism, disorders in which the sufferer either derives pleasure out of genuine cruelty (not the play-acting kind) or compulsively seeks out harmful levels of pain."
Found this to be pretty relavant to the thread.

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RE: Mental health issues and BDSM? - 8/31/2008 3:34:48 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: l1z

i confess i'm a bit of a newbie but i had to drop into this thread and ask a question. Does anyone know which opinion is held by the majority? i mean there was the beautiful post about having a Master who understood and helped with all her issues but it was immediately followed by two angry posts that generalized us all as monsters. Is no one going to want me because i'm diagnosed?

It isn't a question of having a diagnosis. It's whether or not you are taking responsibility for managing your condition. Do you take your medications every day and at the right time? Do you see a therapist? Do you see your psychiatrist regularly?

Same as if you were diabetic. One who was committed to testing her blood sugar, taking her insulin, keeping a close eye on sores would be a lot easier to deal with than someone who ate junk food and went into shock needing EMT care on a frequent basis.

I'm fourth generation mood disorder. I have issues of my own. But they are my responsibility to manage as much as I can. I have to tell him if I'm getting panicky. I need to tell him if I haven't eaten since screwing with the physical stuff; food, water, sleep will cause mental health repercussions. My responsibility to manage.

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