RE: The Gift of Tears...?

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RE: The Gift of Tears...? - 6/8/2005 8:03:48 AM

fourpeas

Posts: 243
Joined: 5/6/2005
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Thanks everyone. My Dom and I actually had a long talk about it. Mostly it was about him being "okay" with tears and not feeling like they were anything to be ashamed of or hurt by, etc. He did tell me (which was reassuring) that he would never make me cry "Just because." That works for me, and I'm still afraid about it, and yes I've got some issues with it because of my past (I was also one of those people who sucked it up all the time and never cried, still dont' cry much in front of people) and it's just going to be a process.

This thread has taught me so much. Let's keep it going. I have already cried once for my Dom and we did talk about that when I saw him in person this time. I cried because something in me opened up. I'm okay with that so far, and I just don't know what else is going to happen at this point. I guess I'll have to wait and see ;)

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RE: The Gift of Tears...? - 6/13/2005 12:38:38 AM

asissyforher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline

As a Sadistic Domme, I find tears to be one of the most beautiful things a submissive or a slave can have. Knowing that we breached that wall, that we passed the point of no return is fabulous, exhilerating...there aren't enough words.
Kindred2Evil

hmm..i hope some day "i" get past "my" abuse as a kid and can finally open up to someone also.. i have never, myself, understood, crying. but then,...ah well..let's not go there.

my thanks for Your words here.

a sissy

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RE: The Gift of Tears...? - 6/13/2005 5:16:00 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello again fourpeas... it's great to hear back about how it is going. I must say that your post on 6/8 reassured me and made me smile. Good luck with everything.

~ Elektra

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RE: The Gift of Tears...? - 6/28/2005 2:52:06 AM

subversiveone

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline

i wanted to bring this thread up again for a couple of different reasons:
a)my new Daddy needs to read it
b)i have a few thoughts
c)it's highly intriguing and would like to know how fourpeas is doing w/it...

When i made the 'leap' from prior Dom to DaddyMstr, it was with a heavy heart in one aspect and lighter back in another.
i found a Master in the vanilla world, so to speak, who wanted my guidance as much as i wanted His.
so, i made the transition from what would have been a very serious, borderline cold, very Gorean like existence to a funloving, playful yet older and wiser, nurturing Daddy/daughter relationship.
to 'signify' my decision, the day after, i asked to be His. i asked for a specific scene involving harsh punishment (even though i wasn't 'in trouble') to be, in a sense, 'broken' and give the gift of tears.
now, DaddyMstr hadn't quite 'played' like this before and it'd been years since someone had whipped me with no mercy... we were both a little unprepared to say the least. without going into a lot of detail right now, suffice it to say that it was very painful but it did NOT hurt ME, as i was not afraid/aroused/degraded/humiliated/etc etc... Hell, i just found a man ive been looking for and was happy.
i seriously thought about crying out of joy, but the tears just wouldn't come... my back ended up weeping, but that's a different thread ;)
and the same for Him
He wanted to perhaps be touched by my submission to the pain, but was more touched by my submission period.
later, i cried openly when i had to go home and leave His but...
im yet to totally break down and let it all out as most of the time im giddy in love!
i hope that in reading this, perhaps He'll help me find a way to reach this form of subspace and see it as a 'gift'
xoxo

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RE: The Gift of Tears...? - 6/28/2005 4:30:34 AM

Akinta

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/16/2004
Status: offline

I think most any person likes tears because they show that you've hit a side no one else sees. That's not so much a D/s thing, but a general human "i care about you" thing. When I am there to see someone cry, to hold them, and to know they wouldn't go to another for this.. that they came to me. That is deep. And since deep things are arousing to me.. there becomes a link to tears and sexual stimulation.
Now, the sadistic side of things sees the tears as complete submission. No more fight, no more will of their own.. complete submission. This is something that takes a lot of trust and work. I wouldn't randomly find someone and do this to them, it's far too deep for that. But after lots of love and trust, you can move to something like this.
Most submissive do have some form of abused background, and some have accepted it and moved on. But some have not. A few people can get past their past abuse through something like this, while others get more scars from it. So you really have to take it as a case by case basis.
Don't be with someone sadistic if you don't want to be made to cry ;) There's plenty of Dominant people who don't have that mean streak in them.

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RE: The Gift of Tears...? - 6/28/2005 8:50:52 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Another perspective I gained from this weekend is the realization that I needed a catharsis scene in which to just cry/bawl/scream and let emotions and tension out. However, it takes a very specific context in which I can feel secure enough to do that- lots of play partners would get freaked out if their partner started to do something like that. I have to know the person will understand and just let me let it out.

That's a great gift for ME.

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Post #: 26