RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks)

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RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 8:08:01 AM

LadyClaudiaVan

Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2006
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You are welcome.

(in reply to Politesub53)

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Post #: 121

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 8:50:52 AM

KaramelGoddess

Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyClaudiaVan

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaramelGoddess

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Hi sea, i have stopped beating my chest, cleaning my teeth and wearing socks.

Here is a comment from my post 65# on this thread.

I notice the rudeness between people isnt restricted to any board, nor sex, or any inclination. Some of this must stem from prior events in a persons life, thats only natural i think.

So if fully get the part about prior threads ect. i posted a day or two ago that i try and get past whats been posted before and post on each topic by its merit. This enables me to argue on opinions and not on feelings.

Not only polite but pretty damn smart too.
Enjoy your Sunday hun.
~Kara

I have to say I agree with you KaramelGoddess, Politesub has many attractive qualities. I presume to say he not only gets along well with all kinds of women but also I presume to say he attracts them to him in addition. What you see is what you get with this gentleman.

I agree 100% :) I also love that he is so humble about it. If he was here I think I would snog him to bits!
~Kara

_____________________________

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to LadyClaudiaVan)

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Post #: 122

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 9:52:14 AM

ObedientYYC

Posts: 80
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne
....
They see us as sluts and whores (hence the constant referral to our so-called "greed' whe we ask for same generosity men would willingly give a vanilla wife or partner).
....

I'd like to briefly explain to the Dommes here why being "asked" for a gift or tribute is so repulsive to most subs.

The heart of the matter it that all of us want to be cherished for who we are, not what we are giving someone. How do you feel about subs who don't care who you are but only what fetishes you can fulfill for them? Probably pretty disgusted.

Well its a similar thing with "tributes"... because it sets up a situation where there is a conflict of interest and the sub doesn't know if the Domme likes him for who he is, or for what he buys her. I have no idea why this is so hard to understand, but apparently it is.

And isn't a spontaneous gift from the heart worth so much more??

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

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Post #: 123

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 10:01:54 AM

petdave

Posts: 2479
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

Yes, my screen name was much different back then. I went by both Duane and Flippery back then. The little sarbonn name came after I wrote a novel about a sorceror named Sarbonn, and it kind of stuck. If you don't remember me, it's not a big deal, but I remember me, and my penguin Joshua has never forgotten me.

Duane, i do remember. Seems like i should be able to remember your Mistress's name at the time, but it's not coming to me. i don't think i recall seek'er. i think i posted to Usenet exactly once, but i've used either petdave or Lanispet forever... Had quite a few Geocities pages at one time (fiction, DIY toys, a few essays) but took them down a few years ago... was linked on Yahoo (back when they were trying to index the web

), Castle Realm, a few other sites.

A penguin never forgets!

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

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Post #: 124

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 10:35:42 AM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

This is the Ask A Mistress board, sea.
I don't think the Mistresses here, need to get advice from submissives on what
topics they wish to discuss.
If you do not like the OP's topic, no need to read it or keep commenting on it.
The OP had a right to start the topic and I have an issue with people that attempt to
control or manipulate topics, because they are uncomfortable with them.
If you do not like this topic, could it be because it hits to close to home?
politesub, I agree with the other ladies you are sweet.

(in reply to undergroundsea)

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Post #: 125

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 10:38:24 AM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline

There were so many great things said and so many people I would like to respond to on this thread....

Ms C had a ton of great stuff in her post imho: picking this one to add to:

MsC said:

"5 Some women here complain that most the men aren't really submissives. I agree. But I have even worse news for you. Most the women here are not really Dominants. Many people are just curious and good on them for coming and having a look. Its obvious from their posts they are vanillas and will never love and appreciate the Femdom dynamic. They are hellbent to change us into them - nice vanillas with a few fetish outfits in the wardrobe. This causes conflict. "
So true! I so enjoyed your summary in your post. There is another factor. Women who claim to be Dommes, just act like bitches with a few outfits, and demand tribute to chat with them...then PRO- from there on out.
I have nothing against pros-I understand them. And I also believe in generosity. Giving of 'service', well if WE work full time, 40-50 hrs a week with travel time, etc. how will we be able to spend any time receiving 'service'? (what you say as #1 above.)
And, the women who act like big bad bitches and hide their man-hatred under the umbrella of: I am a domme, *smack, *smack.and demand money immediatley in my opinion that is another place where the importance of respect is earned comes in. I love this quote: "Never mistake my kindness for weakness!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Polite sub: see what I mean? Different definitions, and although we probably see eye to eye on a ton of stuff, you and I; we can get lost in that darn Nomenclature.
*blows a kyss
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The points AAkasha raised were good for me to see. I have been dealing with the complicated dynamics she mentions and agree with Chia re: it is in talking things thru that we dissolve walls. And, in not speaking, we divide. It's just that 'talking' takes so damn long on the net, thru emails, in im. I am trying to jump to rt as fast as I possibly can,. There, all bs tends to be shown up by truth.

The real time subs/slave (whatever we call them) have been respectful, and I have had a bunch of wonderful times so far. *grin*. I was a Natural Domina all of my life. I am just having my Coming Out Party now. Free of kids, and free to create what my heart, body and my life have been denied.

My main goal is to cut through the bs, and get to rt. And, now I find myself loving to discuss these things on the threads, see what ya'all say and now 2 hrs have floated by! Sheesh!

M Irish

Happy Father's Day to all the dad's!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Never mistake my kindness for weakness!"

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 6/17/2007 10:45:12 AM >

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

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Post #: 126

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 10:46:39 AM

KaramelGoddess

Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyIce

This is the Ask A Mistress board, sea.
I don't think the Mistresses here, need to get advice from submissives on what
topics they wish to discuss.
If you do not like the OP's topic, no need to read it or keep commenting on it.
The OP had a right to start the topic and I have an issue with people that attempt to
control or manipulate topics, because they are uncomfortable with them.
If you do not like this topic, could it be because it hits to close to home?
politesub, I agree with the other ladies you are sweet.

*ooo* LadyIce I agree with you...all I can say now is yet another can of worms has been opened and I'm getting My bug spray ready! LOL! Good luck *lends you Her flame-retardant suit*
~Kara

_____________________________

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to LadyIce)

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Post #: 127

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 10:49:51 AM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

I have witnessed a lot of negative behavior from many submissive men online.
I agree that some men must proclaim their maleness, by typical arrogant and obnoxious behavior.
I would suggest that every man is not comfortable being submissive and can only be
submissive with some women under certain conditions.
If this is the case, and the men don't feel the need to respect or honor women here as a Dominant,
than the women should not respect the men as a submissive.
We end up with just people posting here with equal positions, so why even have a forum?
I try to respect all women, especially Dominant women because that is just how I am wired.
Some men are not wired that way, and for those men I do apologize.

*blows a kyss in your dicection. Thanks for getting it.

M Irish

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 6/17/2007 10:51:44 AM >

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)

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Post #: 128

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 10:50:48 AM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
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Kara, I am used to the rants of the submissives that the OP is discussing here.
I am outside a lot and have plenty of bug spray, believe it or not, I am not scared
to speak my mind here.
I will be fine.

(in reply to KaramelGoddess)

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Post #: 129

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 10:55:32 AM

KaramelGoddess

Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
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I know you'll be fine LadyIce. I can't wait to see what evolves from here on in. Or is it out?

~Kara

_____________________________

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to LadyIce)

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Post #: 130

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 11:00:57 AM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
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We come here to discuss topics.
There are many topics I don't comment on because they don't interest me,
or I don't like the topic.
I don't feel it is my place to tell people what topics they can create.
If it is unsuitable that is what the moderators are here for.
If I don't like the topic, to bad.

(in reply to KaramelGoddess)

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Post #: 131

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 11:14:28 AM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline

SDFemDom4cuck said "While I don't expect someone to afford me (or anyone) automatic respect and subservience simply because of my screenname; I do expect to see a general regard to courtesy that should be afforded to any other human being upon the planet regardless of "label". I think of those posts as an insight at how they treat others when no one is looking and they aren't trying to impress. If I see a great deal of negativity, disrespect and a waving of the "you're not my Domme, I don't have to respect you" flag it tends to turn me off a great deal. After all, I'm looking and you're looking, so someday I possibly could be your Domme. If you can't be courteous to someone that isn't, how can I ever think you would be courteous if I were. "
Yeah! Me too!

And then this:
"What I do expect is that someone court me appropriately. If they can't be bothered to send flowers or buy an occassional thoughtful gift to show their appreciation towards me then they aren't going to be someone I'll be interested in for very long. If that comes across as being high maintenance, unfair or bitchy I don't really care. The person I'm going to focus on is the one that does the small thoughtful things that show where their mental/emotional focus is...on Me. Note..I did not say expensive gifts. I said thoughtful and appropriate.

A sub who does the small things with heart. Yep, yep, Thoughtful always makes a good impression on me.

M Irish

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)

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Post #: 132

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 12:04:00 PM

LadyClaudiaVan

Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaramelGoddess

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyIce

This is the Ask A Mistress board, sea.
I don't think the Mistresses here, need to get advice from submissives on what
topics they wish to discuss.
If you do not like the OP's topic, no need to read it or keep commenting on it.
The OP had a right to start the topic and I have an issue with people that attempt to
control or manipulate topics, because they are uncomfortable with them.
If you do not like this topic, could it be because it hits to close to home?
politesub, I agree with the other ladies you are sweet.

*ooo* LadyIce I agree with you...all I can say now is yet another can of worms has been opened and I'm getting My bug spray ready! LOL! Good luck *lends you Her flame-retardant suit*
~Kara

I have to say I am in agreement too.

(in reply to KaramelGoddess)

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Post #: 133

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 12:07:13 PM

MsRose

Posts: 98
Joined: 5/1/2004
Status: offline

A thought just came to me, and I'd like to know (merely out of curiousity) what it would be like if Aakasha and Sea were to meet in person. I have observed through many posts and exchanges, that they both share a passion for debate in the forum, both present and argue their individual points articulately, especially in this most recent discussion - so I wonder how would things proceed?

Just curious,
MR.

_____________________________

"man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" ~ Rousseau.

(in reply to YesMistressIrish)

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Post #: 134

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 1:06:24 PM

addicted2it

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

Akasha, as always, you are so very observant and right on point. And while I choose not to comment on every excellent point that you made, I agree that the trend away from the groveling submissive to the more aloof one seems to be the rule rather than the exception these days.

I cannot imagine why any serious dominant would appreciate those all-too-obvious patronizing games that many submissives play to get attention, such as the "groveling worm" approach that you mentioned. Not only is it insincere and manipulative, but it can become very boring and irritating over time. I see this method being used more in chat rooms than anywhere else, but it can and does exist here on the CM Forums as well.

One could chalk it up to the impetuousness of youth and to one's inexperience in scene protocol, which is probably true to some extent, but when older subs use it I can only wonder if and when their maturity will ever kick in.

I have no doubt been guilty of this same behavior in the past when I did not know how to properly approach a domme; but after many years of observation and learning, I can easily recognize this behavior when others display it.

And to those submissives who are reading this, I strongly-believe that it is most important for you to be yourself when attempting to contact a dominant. If you are truly submissive, then it will most-certainly reveal itself in your approach and mannerisms. And if you are sincere and honest, you will probably gain more points with that method of approach than with any other.

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to AAkasha)

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Post #: 135

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 1:30:34 PM

maledave7

Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline

I feel that I need to be respectful toward all Dommes and Mistresses. How I treat others, would show how I would treat my future Domme.

(in reply to AAkasha)

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Post #: 136

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 2:02:05 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YesMistressIrish

SDFemDom4cuck said "While I don't expect someone to afford me (or anyone) automatic respect and subservience simply because of my screenname; I do expect to see a general regard to courtesy that should be afforded to any other human being upon the planet regardless of "label". I think of those posts as an insight at how they treat others when no one is looking and they aren't trying to impress. If I see a great deal of negativity, disrespect and a waving of the "you're not my Domme, I don't have to respect you" flag it tends to turn me off a great deal. After all, I'm looking and you're looking, so someday I possibly could be your Domme. If you can't be courteous to someone that isn't, how can I ever think you would be courteous if I were. "
Yeah! Me too!

And then this:
"What I do expect is that someone court me appropriately. If they can't be bothered to send flowers or buy an occassional thoughtful gift to show their appreciation towards me then they aren't going to be someone I'll be interested in for very long. If that comes across as being high maintenance, unfair or bitchy I don't really care. The person I'm going to focus on is the one that does the small thoughtful things that show where their mental/emotional focus is...on Me. Note..I did not say expensive gifts. I said thoughtful and appropriate.

A sub who does the small things with heart. Yep, yep, Thoughtful always makes a good impression on me.

M Irish

Thanks Irish. I was beginning to think I was the only one.

quote:

ObedientYYC Well its a similar thing with "tributes"... because it sets up a situation where there is a conflict of interest and the sub doesn't know if the Domme likes him for who he is, or for what he buys her. I have no idea why this is so hard to understand, but apparently it is.

And isn't a spontaneous gift from the heart worth so much more??

There is a distinct difference between "tribute" and a thoughtful gift that shows you've listened to the things she's said, taken them to heart and want to show her how much you appreciate her for who she is...not what she can do for you. I don't require a "tribute". I don't think that's what the OP is referring to either. I did not see tribute being mentioned anywhere in the OP.

I suppose my point would be this...Would you go to a friend's house for dinner and not bring a bottle of wine or some flowers in appreciation for being invited to enjoy their company? Do you take flowers to someone you're meeting for a vanilla date? Of course you do. Why is giving a Dominant Woman a small and thoughtful gift occassionally so different? Because she's Dominant? She's still a Woman regardless of the capitalization that comes before her name.

While I understand your point of not knowing if it's you or the gifts she's interested in; the context of the gift you're giving may be what's relevant. My examples of inexpensive but thoughtful gifts do make a difference. It shows that he is thoughtful, attentive, concerned about my comfort and happiness. How something like that is seen as "tribute" is confusing to me. What you said yourself in the last line is exactly my point. It does mean a great deal more.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to YesMistressIrish)

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Post #: 137

RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 2:26:20 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyClaudiaVan

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaramelGoddess

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyIce

This is the Ask A Mistress board, sea.
I don't think the Mistresses here, need to get advice from submissives on what
topics they wish to discuss.
If you do not like the OP's topic, no need to read it or keep commenting on it.
The OP had a right to start the topic and I have an issue with people that attempt to
control or manipulate topics, because they are uncomfortable with them.
If you do not like this topic, could it be because it hits to close to home?
politesub, I agree with the other ladies you are sweet.

*ooo* LadyIce I agree with you...all I can say now is yet another can of worms has been opened and I'm getting My bug spray ready! LOL! Good luck *lends you Her flame-retardant suit*
~Kara

I have to say I am in agreement too.

I agree, and I think anyone that has indicated that this thread was a bad idea or has caused bad discussion is crazy - I think the discussion has been great. Not many threads go for this many pages and still have passionate content from MANY sources and not just sniping back and forth from people who have it in for each other.

I could have just as easily started this on Femdoms instead of subs, by the way. But maybe littlesarbonn or a submissive would like to take a stab at it since they probably have paid more attention to the "trends" of posting styles of femdoms. Anyone remember "MsViper" from the alt.sex.femdom days? What a trainwreck. An example of a type of posting we don't see anymore (luckily) -- femdoms that post "in femdom mode" as if the entire audience are their subs (and submissive men who actually buy into it, responding in kind, almost creating their own live, unfolding scene while others read and try to keep their stomachs from turning.)

Akasha

_____________________________

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

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RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 2:36:19 PM

addicted2it

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline

Please keep telling the truth as you see it, Akasha, because many of us know you and really do appreciate the valuable insight that you bring to this forum.

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to AAkasha)

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RE: Submissive's Lib (or, submissive jerks) - 6/17/2007 2:37:53 PM

LadyClaudiaVan

Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YesMistressIrish

quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

I have witnessed a lot of negative behavior from many submissive men online.
I agree that some men must proclaim their maleness, by typical arrogant and obnoxious behavior.
I would suggest that every man is not comfortable being submissive and can only be
submissive with some women under certain conditions.
If this is the case, and the men don't feel the need to respect or honor women here as a Dominant,
than the women should not respect the men as a submissive.
We end up with just people posting here with equal positions, so why even have a forum?
I try to respect all women, especially Dominant women because that is just how I am wired.
Some men are not wired that way, and for those men I do apologize.

*blows a kyss in your dicection. Thanks for getting it.

M Irish