quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyClaudiaVan

I have to add here in this thread that I just don't agree. I have seen many a posts which speak highly of submissive men. Pixelslave, believe me when I say, you should see the things that come in our mail-inboxes. Relax just a smidgin, please. The OP did not mean to group all the men who are submissives together but based on her experience she, has come across enough of condensccending, etc jerky submissives here to want to share it with her fellow members. Why are you attacking her for her experience and need to share. I do not understand.

I appreciate you approaching me directly in a straighforward manner.  I have seen the things that come in your mailboxes.  Mistress shares them with me all the time.  She's often astonished by some of the things she receives as am I, despite her profile stating clearly that she's not looking.  Recently, a man tried to diminish me in an attempt to get his foot in the door with her.  As such, I feel I can state that I actually have seen examples of the variety of ways the ladies on this board are approached.

If the OP didn't mean to group all submissives together, she could easily have given specific examples of the mail that she has received.  Instead, she chose to group submissives together into various categories, which is what I objected to.  The ones who use some of the tactics she's mentioned in her OP do not represent all of us.  I suspect that like me, most of the other submissives who post here, would prefer to be treated as individuals and not lumped in with a generic group of others that have displeased someone who is posting their distaste for the behavior of the other individuals who do not show the same respect for others that most of us do.  That is my problem with her post and not with her.  You'll note I've not said anything personal about her that I can recall except that I've always held her in high regard, but was disappointed in the manner in which she chose to phrase her post.  Her post comes across to me as being disparaging of nearly all submissives, rather than being specific about the particular submissives who have not been respectful when they've approached her.

I hope that helps explain where I'm coming from and why I have a problem with the original post that started this thread.  

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyClaudiaVan

I have to add here in this thread that I just don't agree. I have seen many a posts which speak highly of submissive men. Pixelslave, believe me when I say, you should see the things that come in our mail-inboxes. Relax just a smidgin, please. The OP did not mean to group all the men who are submissives together but based on her experience she, has come across enough of condensccending, etc jerky submissives here to want to share it with her fellow members. Why are you attacking her for her experience and need to share. I do not understand.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyClaudiaVan
Thank you but I have yet to see why you were so personally affected by her post. She did not say "All". I feel as though you want to discredit or minimize her experience and to me that does not seem right. I just don't get why you group yourself in the cateogory she complained about. Reiterating once again, she didnt say "all".

Obviously, I cannot discredit anyone's experience.  It is theirs and nothing I say will change it for them.  Reading her OP, as I understood it, she was using her generalizations about submissives to try and support three points she wanted to make.  Please correct me if I'm wrong in this observation.

My question to you Ma'am would be: are the above 3 points what have been primarily discussed in this thread? 

To set up the arguments for Akasha's 3 primary points, submissives were either "categorized" or "characterized" in a number of different ways, which is what I object to.  She characterized "many" (the term being used numerous times) as "lowly worm" subs, "mini assholes", The new age sub, "uber-independence/I don't need yer stinkin femdoms", a snarky attitude or a subtle asshole with a little "tude", those that wave the flag for "submissive rights" (perhaps there is a need for them considering the abuse that does in fact occur?), a "me first" attitude vs. "compatibility of kinks" or "everyone's needs must be met.", subs that "will slam the door on any femdom that expects gifts" or subs with no "generosity of spirit".  

In a follow-up post, she further made observations about a number of unnamed subs who post in this forum.  As I regularly post here, I objected to that as well.  It was unclear if any reference was being made to me as no examples were given.  If she has a problem with any of my posts or those of other subs, there is a mechanism in place here on CM for dealing with them at the time they are posted.  I suggest it be used instead of complaining about them later in this manner.

quote:


Because you post and post and post in this thread, I wonder, and forgive me for assuming, if you feel that perhaps deep down you yourself may fall into the group she is referring to?

I do personally take offense to her equating a "me first" attitude with the concept of finding a partner where there is a "compatibility of kinks" or a partner who agrees that "everyone's needs must generally be met".  There are those in the lifestyle who clearly don't agree with the latter, so to make light of the latter IMO is a disservice to those who believe it is important or have lived in dismal and unsatisfying relationships where their needs were indeed ignored.  To me, choosing a partner where one's kinks are compatible is a choice that every femdom couple can choose to make as have Mistress and I.

As a frequent poster in this forum, that would be another group that I would fall into.  Whether her comments regarding them were intended to apply to me I do not know as no names were ever mentioned.  As to the number of posts I've made in this thread, I see that this will be my 7th post in this thread while for the record you have posted 11 times in it.  Your impression that I've posted more than that may be related to the numerous times I have been quoted throughout this thread.  Perhaps that is what you are referring to?  For a thread with at least 208 posts in it, I don't think 7 posts on my part is excessive.

As I'll be very busy over coming days, leaving little (if any) time to post let alone to even read the boards, the points I've made in response to your questions may be entirely moot.  Thus, I hope I've responded to your satisfaction.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

Hi

Hope I am not repeating what others have said

Yes, I agree there are some annoying characters in Ask  A Mistress, both male and female.  I try to skim over their self absorbed dross, but some threads get absolutely polluted with it

I have been posting in similar places since 1998 and I don't see any major changes:

5    Some women here complain that most the men aren't really submissives. I agree.  But I have even worse news for you.  Most the women here are not really Dominants.  Many people are just curious and good on them for coming and having a look.  Its obvious from their posts they are vanillas and will never love and appreciate the Femdom dynamic.  They are hellbent to change us into them - nice vanillas with a few fetish outfits in the wardrobe. This causes conflict.

6    Then there are the "Problem Dominas" .  Respect really does have to be earned.  There are some women posting here who ....truly....no heathy human being could like or respect.  I sure don't.  Why should the guys?  Just because they identify as submissive?  Rude and obnoxious women are..... rude and obnoxious!  Call them dominant or not, they are really unlikeable.  I wonder what kind of parents they must have had.

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea
The same point was raised in the thread that claimed that submissive men have a greater tendency to be jerks than do other people. I think this point would be easier to grasp if there are examples (examples of what might have occurred in prior posts, or a fictitious example that conveys the point).

If I asked someone to show deference to me, then I can see such a retort (that that person is not submissive to me). If I objected to rude behavior, it is not clear to me how one could get away with such a retort. If somebody retorted in that manner, I would simply clarify that I am not asking for submission or show of deference but that the behavior is offensive with an explanation of why it is offensive. So I am having trouble seeing how one uses these words as an excuse to be rude. What I say does not mean this behavior has not or does not occur. Still, I am having trouble picturing the scenario.

Cheers,

Sea