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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/17/2007 10:29:58 PM

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From: toronto
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what did one garden knome say to the other????

love you? i don't even KNOME you .....

~~ waits to hear the chuckles of laughter, or the groans of no more .. ~~

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/17/2007 11:47:45 PM

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why do elephants paint the bottom of their feet yellow?
so they can hide upside down in the custard
have you ever found an elephant in a bowl of custard?
no? then it must work well

a pair of jumper cables walks into a bar and the bartender says, ok you can stay, as long as you don't start anything...

wanna hear a dirty joke?
a white horse fell into a puddle of mud

and my new favorite (best told by a man)
if i have a rooster and you have a donkey and your donkey eats both feet of my rooster what do you have?
(shrug)
2 feet of my cock in your ass

oh and an old favorite
a penguin is driving thru the desert and his car breaks down but he manages to get it to a shop, the mechanic says give me 30 minutes to figure out whats wrong, and so the penguin wonders around town and finds an ice cream shop, this sounds like a great idea to him because well, he's a penguin in the desert, so he gets a bowl of ice cream and is very messy cause all he has is flippers but he notices that its been over 30 minutes so he rushes back to the shop to find out what the problem is...the mechanic looks up from the penguin's engine and says "looks like you blew a seal" and the penguin replies "no, no, its just ice cream"

(in reply to bbw2switch)

RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/18/2007 7:20:29 AM

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Laughing my ass off, trying to get soda out of my nose at the penguin joke......ouchhhh it hurtttttts
Lucy

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/18/2007 7:02:08 PM

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3 strings walk into a bar, and set down in a booth n the corner. One says, "I'll get drinks" and heads for the bar. When he gets there the bartender refuses to serve him, and he returns to the booth. He tells the others they can't get drinks, and one of his buddies gets up to prove him wrong. "Gimme 3 beers!" he says to the bartender.
"We don't serve strings," says the barkeep, and turns his back on the string.
When this string gets back to the booth empty handed, the last string says,"Here, I'll show you how its done!" He ruffles himself a bit and does a little twist move and procedes up to the bar. "Barkeep!" he shouts, "Gimme three beers!"
The bartender turns and asks, "Are you a string?"
To which the string replys, "Frayed Knot!"

Joseff

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/18/2007 9:42:33 PM

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Have you heard ze joke about ze Geshtapo?

Why, No, I-

-LIAR!

The louder you yell, the funnier it gets. If they don't say no, ask the question again until they do, or play with it. "Vy you are beink so evasif? If you vould cooperate this vould be far less... difficult."

Two old ladies are sitting on a bench. One turns to the other: "We've sat here so long my tuchus has fallen asleep." "I know," says the friend, "it snores."

And the most disturbing joke I know:
Q: What do you get when you hit a baby in the head with a frying pan?
A: Aroused!

(in reply to angelic)

RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/19/2007 9:14:07 AM

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what do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
a wooly jumper........

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/19/2007 9:15:38 AM

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a volkswagen?

I don't know either, but it sure is hard to get parts for-----------

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/19/2007 9:17:25 AM

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What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Groan, groan!

(in reply to bbw2switch)

RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/19/2007 9:30:28 AM

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From: Stourport-England
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A man notices his pony has lost its neigh and is croaking instead, so he takes it to the vet.

The vet examines the pony closely, and then announces to the man

"Its really nothing to worry about. He's just a little hoarse"

E

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/19/2007 10:41:31 AM

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Guy had been out half the night with the boys.

Goes to open the door, it is yanked out of his hand by the wife, fryingpan ready.

Where the hell you been?
Out.
How much of that $100 I gave you did you spend.

Oh, I dunno, maybe about a hundre----80 dollars-- I suppose?

You spent it all!!!! What would you do if I went out with the girls and spent $100?

Well, how the hell could you spend a $100? You don't drink, You don't smoke, You got your OWN pussy-----------

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/19/2007 10:56:05 AM

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What's worse than a dead dog on your piano?

An infected pussy on your organ----------

< Message edited by Kidsphoenixx -- 6/19/2007 10:58:00 AM >

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/19/2007 12:33:48 PM

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what's the difference between an elephant and post box?

..don't know? Well, i'm not sending you to post a letter....

How do you know when it's the elephant mating season?

...the lawn's been rolled flat and the dustbin liners are missing

Why do elephants have wrinkly skin?

..ever tried to iron an elephant?

(in reply to Kidsphoenixx)

RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/19/2007 1:46:07 PM

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If you get this one, it will date you...

Some cows and some bulls were grazing in a pasture. A strong gust of wind came along and all the cows fell over, but the bulls just stood there and wobbled until the wind passed. The cows struggled to their feet and everybody continued grazing. Another strong gust of wind came along and again the cows fell over while the bulls just wobbled. A little peeved, the cows again struggled to their feet. The gusts of wind keep coming and the cows keep falling over while the bulls just wobble. Finally, pissed off, one of the cows says, "what gives! How come we cows keep falling over while you bulls just wobble?" To which one of the bulls replies, "we bulls wobble but we don’t fall down."

And now, just to gross everybody out...

Did you hear about the mathematician who had constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil.

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/19/2007 4:51:14 PM

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A giraffe walks into a bar. Then a rabbi walks into the bar. Then a Chinaman walks into the bar. Then a priest walks into the bar. Then a penguin walks into the bar and the bartender says, "Hey--come on, what is this? A Joke?"

< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 6/19/2007 4:52:06 PM >

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/20/2007 2:56:01 AM

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Q: What do you call the black stuff between an elephant's toes?

A: Slow natives.

(in reply to Musicmystery)

RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/20/2007 5:35:40 AM

LittleWolvenOne

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There were three girls, a blonde, a brunette and a red head and the were at the doctors office because they had all gotten pregnant. As they were sitting there talking, the brunette said "I'm going to have a boy because I was on top". The red head said "Well I am going to have a girl because I was on the bottom." The blonde starded crying hysterically and the other two girls asked "What's wrong?" The blonde said "Oh no I'm going to have puppies!"

(in reply to bbw2switch)

RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/20/2007 5:40:19 AM

LittleWolvenOne

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Joined: 3/23/2007
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Blonde's Pregnancy Test

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up and down along with her.

She said, "I have some really great news!"

I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy."

She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant! I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!"

Then she said, "There's more.."

I asked, "What do you mean ' more'?"

She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said....

"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!"

(in reply to LittleWolvenOne)

RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/20/2007 8:27:00 AM

aidan

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A fish.

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/20/2007 8:43:51 AM

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From: London, UK
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Q. What do you call a dog without any legs?

A. Anything you like, it still won't come to you.

Q. Why did Jesus die on the cross?

A. Because he forgot his safe word.

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RE: Favorite Silly Jokes? - 6/20/2007 9:08:22 AM

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What's grosser than gross?
When you open the oven and the rump roast farts at you.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "what's up with the steering wheel?" The pirate replies, "Arr, it's drivin' me nuts!"

*giggles*
I loves me pirate jokes...

(in reply to stella40)

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