RE: what would you do (Full Version)

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ELUSIVE1 -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 3:28:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I think everyone might be missing the big picture here...Has this new girl ever met your "play married dom?"  If not, perhaps it's time we do the ol' switcharoo...And Domiguy comes to the rescue!!! Why should this girl be punished because this married guy is a lying dick?  I could fill in and everything will be as right as rain...What in the fuck does "right as rain"  mean?....Goddammit I hate old english sayings....To tired to google...Preparing for my Elusive introduction. How can I be expected to give my complete attention to these two lovely gals when  I am totally preoccupied with finding the root of this saying?....I can just see it...As I'm swinging the bull whip concentrating on Elusives' left buttock...When suddenly, the thought of rain coming down from "the left" pops into my mind and ZINGO!!! off goes her ear....Christ I'm screwed!!!



By the way....I have done some of my best work on flat, horizontal surfaces...But some how I don't think this will bring you any further comfort.

Texancutie is a Texan cutie.
is it wrong that I got really excited at the mention of a'bullwhip'??




Quivver -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 3:32:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

is it wrong that I got really excited at the mention of a'bullwhip'??


[:D] ...........  you go girl.  nothing wrong with knowing yourself. 




Level -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 3:32:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I think everyone might be missing the big picture here...Has this new girl ever met your "play married dom?"  If not, perhaps it's time we do the ol' switcharoo...And Domiguy comes to the rescue!!! Why should this girl be punished because this married guy is a lying dick?  I could fill in and everything will be as right as rain...What in the fuck does "right as rain"  mean?....Goddammit I hate old english sayings....To tired to google...Preparing for my Elusive introduction. How can I be expected to give my complete attention to these two lovely gals when  I am totally preoccupied with finding the root of this saying?....I can just see it...As I'm swinging the bull whip concentrating on Elusives' left buttock...When suddenly, the thought of rain coming down from "the left" pops into my mind and ZINGO!!! off goes her ear....Christ I'm screwed!!!



By the way....I have done some of my best work on flat, horizontal surfaces...But some how I don't think this will bring you any further comfort.

Texancutie is a Texan cutie.
is it wrong that I got really excited at the mention of a'bullwhip'??


Even if it is, I have a feeling it wouldn't slow you down. [8|]

We're all human, we all fuck up. But screwing around with someone married, who has a partner that isn't consenting to said screwing around.... come on. You know better.




domiguy -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 3:36:21 PM)

After reading Quivvers post I feel like my post was pefect.


I always laugh when I see "evil" under Quivvers avatar......For Christ sake...She looks like an angel!!!....A totally hot, delicious and fuckable angel...But an angel nonetheless




Level -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 3:37:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

After reading Quivvers post I feel like my post was pefect.


I always laugh when I see "evil" under Quivvers avatar......For Christ sake...She looks like an angel!!!....A totally hot, delicious and fuckable angel...But an angel nonetheless


She is one, DG, even when she and I don't agree.




EvilGeoff -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 4:02:20 PM)

Lots of folks have already weighed in on this and Domiguy beat me to the switch-a-roo suggestion (but I may be closer than Domiguy since I'm only a couple of hours away in Columbia, SC) so I'll just say this.

Be true to yourself now.  You are going to have to look in the mirror and live with your decision, either way.  Whether you warn this new sub or not.  Whether you tell the wife or not.  If you decide to resume contact with this man or not.  You are the only one you have to live with.  Make the decision that will bring peace to your heart.

And good luck.




Quivver -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 4:10:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Be true to yourself now.  You are going to have to look in the mirror and live with your decision, either way.  Whether you warn this new sub or not.  Whether you tell the wife or not.  If you decide to resume contact with this man or not.  You are the only one you have to live with.  Make the decision that will bring peace to your heart.



The best advice yet.  Thanks EvilGeoff!!!

Domiguy and Level your both confused.  Q's no Angel, my halo fell off ages ago.
[:D]




Level -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 4:19:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver


Domiguy and Level your both confused.  Q's no Angel, my halo fell off ages ago.
[:D]



[sm=trident.gif] [;)]




dawntreader -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 4:35:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Lots of folks have already weighed in on this and Domiguy beat me to the switch-a-roo suggestion (but I may be closer than Domiguy since I'm only a couple of hours away in Columbia, SC) so I'll just say this.

Be true to yourself now.  You are going to have to look in the mirror and live with your decision, either way.  Whether you warn this new sub or not.  Whether you tell the wife or not.  If you decide to resume contact with this man or not.  You are the only one you have to live with.  Make the decision that will bring peace to your heart.

And good luck.


Good advice...hope it is taken.
 
I found myself in a relationship early this year with a play partner that lied about his age and marital status. But i suspected it and even met with him one more time after finding out...i am not proud of this.
Then a new CM poster started a thread about why he could not find a Domme because he refused to be honest with his wife - in essence he wanted approval to cheat...that's when i looked in the mirror and knew that no matter how much my play partner said he "needed"  me to bring some happiness to his life, i could not live with the deceit and as fate would have it - before i could tell him of my decision - he pulled an extremely deceitful act on me. Karma - it will find you...
i certainly learned a valuable lesson~




leatherette -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 4:47:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader
 Karma - it will find you...


says it all




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 5:27:03 PM)

Well like most, I say come out to yourself as a cheater, and deal with that.  Figure out why you were willing to do that and whether this really is part of who you are or not.

Secondly, just end it.  I think going around spilling stuff just causes unnecessary drama and is a way for YOU to try and feel good about what YOU did.  Just let it go and move on.




szobras -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 5:30:25 PM)

I would expect nothing less from a relationship founded on lies to begin with. We reap what we sow.




angelic -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 5:32:05 PM)

Karma can sure be a bitch, that's for damn sure.




LadyHeart -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 5:57:19 PM)

I'm not going into the meat of this, as everyone else has done it so thoroughly. But I will say this. Take a deep breath. Wait. The decision you make today may not be the one you would make in a week, when you are feeling less hurt and upset. If you are going to look yourself in the mirror, as others have suggested, then don't add regret about how you handled it to the catalogue of things you are already sorry about. Sleep on it, sit with it a while, and then act. A sent email can't be taken back.
:))
LH




Veryleggyredhead -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 6:58:28 PM)

The only redeeming quality I can see in the married Dominant ( I question whether or not someone of this caliber could even remotely considered to be such) you refer to here is that he leveled about being married where you were concerned. Beyond that he is a man(?) who lacks a conscience and could care less about your thoughts, needs, and feelings or anyone ele's involved including his wifes. At least you knew what you were dealing with. Some in your shoes, particularly in a long distance relationship will be clueless until either the wife contacts them and focuses her anger on the "other woman", and not the cheater, or it comes to light in some other way. I avoid getting involved with anyone who isn't emotionally available for a relationship and married men are not. Is not in my nature or my preference to scene or play on a casual basis but I make that choice only for myself and don't feel the need to define anyone else's preferences in that regard. Should you tell the other submissive? Let your conscience be your guide. There are no easy answers here, just a very sad situation brought about by a man's selfishness and dishonesty and your willingness (for whatever reasons) to tolerate what he was doing and to not see the writng on the wall. Bottom line is that he will be loyal to no one but himself.




slaveluci -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 9:23:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver
we strive to be open minded

This thread as well as your statement above got me thinking.  Last night, there was a thread started on these forums about when is "enough enough."  During the course of the posts there, a real battle of words started because mistoferin stated her personal feelings about some of the things she sees divulged here.  She was basically told that she had no right to say that anything was "bad" or "negative" as long as whomever is engaging in it is cool with it and accepting of all it brings. "Don't insult my kink or anyone else's" seems to be the prevailing attitude and that's great.  Apparently, anything that anyone says they do is never wrong as long as they say someone is consenting to it (and this seems to be regardless of said person's mental competence).  Most people tend to accept this.

However......this thread and others like it show me something very different.  Anytime a thread involves someone being involved with a married partner (whose spouse is unaware), the insults begin flying and there's very little dissent.  It's as if the worst thing one can be is an adulterer.  Anything else anyone chooses to do (no matter how unacceptable, gross, immoral, etc. others may find it) is totally fine.  God forbid you insult what they like to do.  Yet, whenever someone does something as common (because yes it happens over and over everyday) as cheating on his/her spouse or cheating with someone who is married, any and all put-downs, finger-wagging, and tongue lashings are A-OK. 

I am not weighing in on the specifics of this thread.  I'm not going to go into what I think should be done or if this relationship should or should not have occurred.  It just once again became glaringly obvious to me that there seems to be a different set of standards anytime adultery is involved.  There's nothing I can list here that someone won't defend as totally fine between consenting adults....unless perhaps it happens to be "cheating" and then the low-down, dirty dog, pond scum sunzabitches need to be schooled on just how to act[;)].  Why is that and just what is it about cheating that makes people so angry and self-righteous when none of the other acts discussed here seem to have the same effect?

And.....disclaimer.....please don't respond with something like "it's because it involves lying."  That sounds like a sensible enough answer and it is valid but it simply does not explain the rabid reaction that most people have to threads about cheating.  Yes, it involves lying but we don't know the "injured" spouse and certainly all the anger and indignation doesn't come from that.  Also, there are people who lie everyday in many situations and discussion of that doesn't bring forth the rancor that cheaters do either.  So please, I'm very serious here and not trying to insult anyone.  I am simply very curious as to why the topic of cheaters brings forth such a fervor when every other thing that adults do together is supposed to be cool?
luci










angelic -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 9:26:00 PM)

~quietly sits to see what comes of this post~




slaveluci -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 9:27:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic
~quietly sits to see what comes of this post~

Well join the crowd 'cuz I'm over here ducking for cover[:)].  Seriously, I hope no one gets angry and indignant about this.  I'm not asking anyone to defend their feelings.  I am simply asking someone to explain them to me..........luci




angelic -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 9:34:02 PM)

;) i'll protect you!!!!!   Seriously, luci it was a very valid point... one i personally appreciated.  Although i am almost always one of the one's that jumps on the cheating is never good bandwagon, i truly appreciated that what you said is true.  It is ok to damn a cheater, but heaven forbid we damn someone who has openly admitted to being deemed mentally incompetent. 




Lordandmaster -> RE: what would you do (6/17/2007 9:37:28 PM)

Isn't it obvious?  It's because they've been cheated on.

Also, you have to remember that something between two consenting adults is between two consenting adults, but cheating is between two consenting adults and some other adult who doesn't know what's going on.  It's not comparable.  Look, I'm also turned off by all the self-righteous condemnation; it's human nature at its worst.  But you can at least understood why people feel the way they do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

There's nothing I can list here that someone won't defend as totally fine between consenting adults....unless perhaps it happens to be "cheating" and then the low-down, dirty dog, pond scum sunzabitches need to be schooled on just how to act[;)].  Why is that and just what is it about cheating that makes people so angry and self-righteous when none of the other acts discussed here seem to have the same effect?




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