MiladyJade -> RE: Why are we wrong? (10/22/2007 6:47:52 PM)
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I have left more than one "Lifestyle" community because I was treated so poorly for my lifestyle decisions. I am proudly switch- different people inspire me in different ways- and I am skilled at both ends of the whip. I have always found that my experience as a submissive has helped me when I am in the Dominant role, and that my experience as a Domme has helped me in a submissive role- it has helped me to understand the power dynamics, the techniques, the frustrations, concerns, questions, desires, needs, etc. I don't see how this is a negative thing. That being said, I am also bisexual- and I've received hate from both straight and queer folks, because of my "sitting on the fence". As I understand it, people who are bisexual, switch, or both sado/maso (like myself), are looked down on because we "refuse to pick a side"... we "take whatever we can get".. we are "easy"... "fake".. and therefore, we are wrong. I tend to believe that people simply don't understand being outside their own role- many Dominants, in my experience, have felt threatened by a Dom/me that can switch into the submissive role, and therefore better understand the needs of a submissive. Many submissives, in my experience, have felt threatened, and scared by, people who can switch from bottom to top, because one moment, they fear, we can be a sister-sub, and the next, wielding a whip. It is, largely, and of course not in every case, but largely, a case of insecurity. Of people not having looked outside themselves at the possibilities offered to them. Of people not having looked INSIDE themselves, and not having seen what they can offer themselves. This is not a criticism- it is simply an observation. Many people who are Dom/me truly ARE solely Dom/me. Many people who are submissive truly ARE submissive- in the very core of their being.. and I give that mad respect. I am switch. I am happy to be so. I am not switch because I am easy, or will take whatever I can get- because whatever I desire, I will have... no matter if I restrict myself to one or the other. I switch because, to deny myself one or the other side of my personality, is to squelch my own potential- it is to keep me from thriving, from growing, and from blooming. And I refuse to do so.
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