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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 12:01:13 AM

susie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

No, he's not attached. The teenager at his house is definitely his daughter. When I used to call, I asked for her dad when she answered. When we were on his porch the last time I was there, his daughter called him inside at one point and she called him Dad. Although I had to stay outside when she was there, I also went inside his house the one time she wasn't there. I didn't see any female clothes in his bedroom.

I don't think the posters meant attached as in married. They meant emotionally attached as in to his daughter. Teenagers have a whole load of influence on their parents. This is especially true when the child is living with a parent as a result of a broken marriage etc. Perhaps the daughter is the one that is not ready for her father to have another relationship.

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 1:09:55 AM

Furr

Posts: 36
Joined: 1/1/2004
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IMHO this guy has issues of some nature that makes investing in this any relationsip with him precarious.

Should you see him be polite but in your mind you should be saying "next."

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 1:18:22 AM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
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quote:

What should I do?

You know in your heart what’s up -- You need to cut your losses… It’s painful when you really like someone and they don’t like you in the same way. But most of the time it’s really not about ''you'' or what ''you'' could have done different, etc.

I’ll spare you as much ''Churchillian'' rhetoric as possible: Don’t blame yourself, but at the same time don’t feel sorry for yourself --- Feel the pain, let it fade and get back on your horse.

Good luck.

- R

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 5:41:52 AM

Aileen68

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Joined: 8/2/2005
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The guy has issues with breakups in that he doesn't have the ability to do it. His method is to just avoid you until you got the hint. You have nothing to worry about at a munch since you didn't do anything inappropriate in front of his daughter. Go, act mature and the whole situation should end.

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 2:09:16 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
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quote:

What should I do when he does show up at a munch?

Go on about your business and have a good time. Ignore him- he does not exsist.

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 2:17:25 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
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Could it be his UM took a dislike to you and he's siding with her?

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 2:17:30 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

So far nobody seems to think I overreacted when I went off on him or that I was suspicious for no reason. I'm just going to be nervous for awhile at munches and play parties due to fear of him showing up.

Honey, you're doing this all wrong. Living well is the best revenge.....show up at the munch dressed to the hilt, smiling and having a WONDERFUL time. Talk to people, especially other Doms

, keep smiling and above all, keep your head up! When he sees you having a good time without him, it will get his goat.

And if he doesn't show up after all, you still had a great time.

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 2:19:29 PM

NorthernGent

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Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I met this guy on another site about 3 months ago. We experimented and he discovered he's a Dom. Everything was going well for awhile.

Kill him.

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 4:51:57 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

His method is to just avoid you until you got the hint.

I agree with everything else you posted, Aileen68, but I have issues with this sentence.

In my experience (which is not vast), many women fail to hear me when I am telling them my issues in the
relationship, or my telling them it is over, and there comes a time where I simply give up and walk away.

Then I get accused of not being up front or avoidant in my behaviors.

There are people out there that will not ever get the hint, even if one builds the hint 1000 feet tall, paint it dayglo
yellow, put a bow on it, and deliver to their house with a military detachment, 3 high school marching bands,
and a flock of scantily dressed chippendale dancers.

Sinergy

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 5:15:23 PM

cjenny

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Could it be his UM took a dislike to you and he's siding with her?

I wondered that too. Wondered as well if she actually told him every time you called? They can be very terratorial at that age especially with a single parent.

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 6:43:52 PM

velvetears

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If you saw YOUR toys on his porch when you were there why didn't you take them back with you?

i think pushing the point and going to visit him when he kept giving you the brush off on the phone was crossing a line. When he said it was ok to visit then when i came he told me to come back later i would have said there won't be a later and goodbye...not sure how much rejection it takes to get a point across.

If you did indeed speal loudly on his porch about things his um should not have heard i would have been pissed too. It would have told me i was dealing with someone who cannot control their emotions, even at the cost of my um's emotional safety. Kids will always come first with people who have them - as it should be.

i wouldn't give him the power to make me afraid to go to munches and why give a rats ass what he says? Be who you are, be polite to him and just go about your own business. If he speaks bad about you he will only make himself look the fool. Anyone who asks - just politely change the subject. Have a good time and don't focus on him

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 7:49:48 PM

Griswold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I met this guy on another site about 3 months ago. We experimented and he discovered he's a Dom. Everything was going well for awhile. We both called each other and had regular sessions. I really trusted this guy. All of a sudden, his unmentionable started saying he was either asleep or gone every time I called when she used to put him on the phone right away. I said something to him about it and he assured me this wasn't the case. So I decided to conduct a little experiment. I waited until I saw that he had only been on this site a few minutes ago and made it a point to call then. I did this several times and his unmentionable still insisted every time that he was either gone or asleep. I was sure this time he would say something to her, but he only made more excuses. Two of my friends told me she must be doing that as his request or he would do something about it. We had talked about attending the next munch together and I wanted to order some toys from a website. He suggested that I put the money in his bank and he order them with his debit card assuring me he would give them to me when they came in. The last time I went over there, I sent him a text message saying I was coming over and he replied saying that was fine. When I got there, his unmentionable answered the door and had to go wake him up. He came to the door and asked if I could come back later. Then he came outside and we started talking about the toys on his front porch. I didn't think this was a very good idea with his unmentionable being just inside and I suggested several times that we talk in my car. He refused. A few days later, he sent me a message saying his unmentionable had overheard and started asking questions. He said he was mad at me. First, I talked too loud, then it was my fault because I didn't change the subject. When was I supposed to talk to him about it? His unmentionable wouldn't let him talk to me on the phone and she was always home. He wanted the toys as much as I did. I ended up going off on him. I reminded him that I had asked to talk in my car several times and he was the one that refused. Then I told him I didn't want him ordering the toys because I felt like he was blowing me off since he kept making excuses for his unmentionable instead of asking her to stop refusing to put him on the phone. I was also worried that if she did that on the phone, she could refuse to answer the door too and I'd be out both the money and the toys. He got upset because he felt like he was being compared to a scam artist. I sent him a mail explaining how I felt and why saying I was hurt and confused and he blocked me. The munch and play party is coming up this Friday night. Even if he doesn't show up at this one, he could show up at others. I'm embarrassed about this whole situation as it is. I certainly won't want to be there if he is after he blocked me the way he did, but if I see him and take off it will give him more opportunity to say things behind my back if he should decide to. What if he tells people something crazy like I like talking about bdsm in front of unmentionables? I don't know how I should handle this situation if and when he does show up at the munch and play party. Also, am I the one in the wrong here because I didn't trust him? Is this whole thing my fault?

I never trusted this bastard from the first time I layed eyes on him.

His eyes are too close together....

(Sure sign of criminal intent if you ever asked me....)

< Message edited by Griswold -- 7/2/2007 7:55:37 PM >

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RE: What should I do? - 7/2/2007 11:23:24 PM

GoddessinDallas

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LET GO!
Quit causing so much grief for yourself.
He doesn't want you.
MOVE ON!

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