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Are Switches more competative? - 7/1/2007 6:02:52 PM

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I'm fairly new to this, but after reading a few posts, and considering my own experience, I'm curious if you think that competitiveness is one of the things that drives a switch to be what they are.

Switches seem to gravitate to games a means for determining their role in a session. I also know that for me, I prefer a partner that is very involved in the creativity aspect of all parts of a scene. It inspires me to be more creative. I also try to be a better sub or dom than my partner, and expect them to try to outdo me.

What do you think?

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/1/2007 6:18:10 PM

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Sweeping generalities are rarely true for the entire group. Sweeping generalities are often not true for even most of the group. It will be true for some of the group.

I think it's much more apt to say that some competitive people are switches....but not all switches are competitive people. Saying what you are saying it rather like saying all elephants are gray, therefore if the thing is gray, it's most likely an elephant.

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 7/1/2007 6:19:36 PM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to tag8833)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/1/2007 6:30:10 PM

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quote:

Sweeping generalities are rarely true for the entire group. Sweeping generalities are often not true for even most of the group. It will be true for some of the group.

I certainly wasn't trying to lessen anyone's point of view or beliefs. I was just trying to understand my own. If this post is offensive, I invite the mods to delete it because I have no desire to offend anyone.

Maybe this is a less problematic question:
Do you think that a higher percentage of switches would call themselves competative than the percentage of Doms or Subs?

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/1/2007 6:47:46 PM

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LOL..more competitive???
I think not!!
Switches are confused...."Am I coming or going? Am I Top or bottom? should I lead or follow? Should I beat or eat? Chrrrissaake.....If a switch sees competition they will ask what side am I on....That's why there a fuckin switch.
Geez all ready, Sir KC

(in reply to tag8833)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/1/2007 8:27:21 PM

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quote:

I'm fairly new to this, but after reading a few posts, and considering my own experience, I'm curious if you think that competitiveness is one of the things that drives a switch to be what they are.

It could be, but doesn't have to be. I'm competitive, to a point, but that has nothing to do with my being a switch.

quote:

Switches seem to gravitate to games a means for determining their role in a session. I also know that for me, I prefer a partner that is very involved in the creativity aspect of all parts of a scene. It inspires me to be more creative. I also try to be a better sub or dom than my partner, and expect them to try to outdo me.

What do you think?

I think if that's what works for you, great! Personally, I don't play those games. My role, or position, is always the same. Barring orders to the contrary, I'm always on top, except with the Kaptin.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to tag8833)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/1/2007 10:00:44 PM

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Not in my case. I started out just subbing, fell for a few subs and took on the domme role to please them, even domme'd a slave to please my Master... and discovered it's a huge turn on. I wouldn't say I'm more or less competitive that others... I prefer switches to those who are one or the other simply because I enjoy both positions equally, and for different reasons. Competitiveness has little to do with being a switch, to me anyway.

(in reply to Evanesce)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/1/2007 11:16:48 PM

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LMFAO!!!!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: skaterboy

LOL..more competitive???
I think not!!
Switches are confused...."Am I coming or going? Am I Top or bottom? should I lead or follow? Should I beat or eat? Chrrrissaake.....If a switch sees competition they will ask what side am I on....That's why there a fuckin switch.
Geez all ready, Sir KC

_____________________________

~ Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

(in reply to skaterboy)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/2/2007 6:28:28 AM

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From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: skaterboy

LOL..more competitive???
I think not!!
Switches are confused...."Am I coming or going? Am I Top or bottom? should I lead or follow? Should I beat or eat? Chrrrissaake.....If a switch sees competition they will ask what side am I on....That's why there a fuckin switch.
Geez all ready, Sir KC

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to skaterboy)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/2/2007 8:41:40 AM

Posts: 5587
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From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tag8833

quote:

Sweeping generalities are rarely true for the entire group. Sweeping generalities are often not true for even most of the group. It will be true for some of the group.

I certainly wasn't trying to lessen anyone's point of view or beliefs. I was just trying to understand my own. If this post is offensive, I invite the mods to delete it because I have no desire to offend anyone.

I wasn't implying that your post was offensive. I was implying that your logic is faulty. Those are two different things.

quote:

Maybe this is a less problematic question:
Do you think that a higher percentage of switches would call themselves competative than the percentage of Doms or Subs?

No, for the reasons I gave before. No matter how you ask the question, a grey thing is not necessarily an elephant.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to tag8833)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/2/2007 8:47:16 AM

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From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: skaterboy

LOL..more competitive???
I think not!!
Switches are confused...."Am I coming or going? Am I Top or bottom? should I lead or follow? Should I beat or eat? Chrrrissaake.....If a switch sees competition they will ask what side am I on....That's why there a fuckin switch.
Geez all ready, Sir KC

Unless this was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, it's this post that I find offensive. I get the same nonsense about being bi. Most switches and bi people I know know exactly what they want: both.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to skaterboy)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/2/2007 8:52:24 AM

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I wasn't going to respond to this, but here I go anyway. Switches are not more competitive or anything else, than anyone else. simply because they are a switch...switches only recognize that they enjoy both sides of the whip, as it were. That's it. As a Dominant Switch, I can say, I'm not confused, or playing games or more competitive than anyone else. Being competitive has to do with one's personality, not one's lifestyle role.

MNN

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/2/2007 9:29:08 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: skaterboy

LOL..more competitive???
I think not!!
Switches are confused...."Am I coming or going? Am I Top or bottom? should I lead or follow? Should I beat or eat? Chrrrissaake.....If a switch sees competition they will ask what side am I on....That's why there a fuckin switch.
Geez all ready, Sir KC

Unless this was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, it's this post that I find offensive. I get the same nonsense about being bi. Most switches and bi people I know know exactly what they want: both.

Master Fire

I agree with you MasterFire, as a bi woman I hear the same crap about not knowing what it is that I want. I DO know what I want only sometimes that person has come with a cock and sometimes with a vagina. It is their personality that has attracted me not their specific sex.

Switches know what they want they read and accept the energy exchange of the other person. Most "one way" Doms/subs cannot do that and therefore do not have an understanding of how or why it works. Hence why they believe that switches are "confused" when in reality it is the "one way" person who is confused.

To the OP I do not think switches are more competitive they just have more opportunity since they do not confine themselves to being Dom or sub.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/2/2007 11:43:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName

I wasn't going to respond to this, but here I go anyway. Switches are not more competitive or anything else, than anyone else. simply because they are a switch...

I guess I would turn that around. Am I a switch because I am competative?

(in reply to MistressNoName)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/2/2007 12:46:11 PM

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From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tag8833

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName

I wasn't going to respond to this, but here I go anyway. Switches are not more competitive or anything else, than anyone else. simply because they are a switch...

I guess I would turn that around. Am I a switch because I am competative?

One more time: No matter how you ask it, the gray object isn't necessarily an elephant. It could be duct tape.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to tag8833)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/2/2007 6:05:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tag8833

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName

I wasn't going to respond to this, but here I go anyway. Switches are not more competitive or anything else, than anyone else. simply because they are a switch...

I guess I would turn that around. Am I a switch because I am competative?

So let me ask you this: What exactly is so "competitive" about switches, in your opinion? What leads you to believe that switches are more competitive than anyone else? And exactly how do you define competitiveness?

MNN

(in reply to tag8833)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/2/2007 9:51:48 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName
So let me ask you this: What exactly is so "competitive" about switches, in your opinion? What leads you to believe that switches are more competitive than anyone else? And exactly how do you define competitiveness?

MNN

Look, I couldn't be more of a newbie. So "Wrong, wrong, wrong, you idiot" would be a fair response to anything I say.

I'd say competitiveness is the desire to outperform others. I thought switches might be competitive because I read that some switches use games to determine their roles. Also switches have multiple roles maybe because they want to experience everything. Also, switch's scenes I've heard described are often somewhat inspired by games. One partner trying to do better than the other.

I really don't know. If I did, I wouldn't have asked the question. I don't even think I'm a true switch. I like to top, but I also like to top from the bottom. I don't think I'd like to actually sub.

(in reply to MistressNoName)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/3/2007 7:05:53 AM

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Ok, first off thanx for clarifying your question to the extent that you have.

Now, I'm not sure what type of "games" you are talking about that switches are supposed to be using in order to "determine their roles." But if I understand you correctly it seems that you are trying to figure out whether you are switch? I can tell you that there are all types of switches...so you may be one or you may not be...

I identify as a Dominant Switch. Why? Because to me, my personality seems to lend itself to being in-charge and being in-control...also to facilitating, directing process. I'm also a bit of a sadist, and do enjoy giving certain types of pain to another...So that is the Dom part of me. I also am a bit of a masochist and enjoy bottoming to certain individuals whom I trust...I do not enjoy subbing, even though I started in this life as a submissive. Nor do I have any desire to submit to anyone in a relationship situation. So my example is just one of many.

I don't know if you are a switch either, and only you can figure that out for yourself. But I would say that liking to top and liking to top from the bottom may suggest some "switchy-ness" worth exploring. For instance, if you're topping from the bottom, then you must be bottoming at some point...do you derive pleasure from the bottoming itself? Or do you only enjoy directing the action from the bottom position? Or how about this - if you were from now on only to top, would you feel satisfied?

Just a few questions to ponder. If I think of more, I'll add them.

And btw, "wrong, wrong, wrong, you idiot" is never a fair response, in my opinion. It only closes off discussion and exploration and puts people on the defensive. Remember, I enjoy facilitating process, not shutting it down.

Best,

MNN

(in reply to tag8833)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/4/2007 7:47:13 AM

arayofsunshine55

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: tag8833

quote:

Sweeping generalities are rarely true for the entire group. Sweeping generalities are often not true for even most of the group. It will be true for some of the group.

I certainly wasn't trying to lessen anyone's point of view or beliefs. I was just trying to understand my own. If this post is offensive, I invite the mods to delete it because I have no desire to offend anyone.

I wasn't implying that your post was offensive. I was implying that your logic is faulty. Those are two different things.

Very different things. OP, a thick skin is a good thing I think. As to the question at hand, I am not particularly competitive. I don't at all compete with Daddy. Could I imagine having a grand time with some switchy gal trying to see who lands on top? Sure. But that is not why I am a switch. That would just be a fun interlude for a moment or two.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/5/2007 5:38:46 AM

ExquisiteFeline

Posts: 124
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

quote:

I'm fairly new to this, but after reading a few posts, and considering my own experience, I'm curious if you think that competitiveness is one of the things that drives a switch to be what they are.

It could be, but doesn't have to be. I'm competitive, to a point, but that has nothing to do with my being a switch.

quote:

Switches seem to gravitate to games a means for determining their role in a session. I also know that for me, I prefer a partner that is very involved in the creativity aspect of all parts of a scene. It inspires me to be more creative. I also try to be a better sub or dom than my partner, and expect them to try to outdo me.

What do you think?

I think if that's what works for you, great! Personally, I don't play those games. My role, or position, is always the same. Barring orders to the contrary, I'm always on top, except with the Kaptin.

Now that is the thing that I don't get with ppl who call themselves Doms or more likely subs... (I am not trying to be offensive, merely just thinking out loud and trying to understand...)
"I'm always on top, except with the Kaptin."
Whats with the defined role, but then EXCEPTIONS??? It is my understanding that you are one or the other, with no exceptions... that is why I personally say switch, however, I do tend to live out one role in sexuality more often that the other...
How many sub profiles say, that they are sub only to one person, but Dom a whole heap of others? Aint that switchy behavior?
Jeez going by that theory I am totally submissive...except for when I am not... Switching, to a switch, is not confusing, but it may be for me be if i defined myself to a role with exceptions...
Take it in a work place environment perhaps, we submit to those above us, and lead those to whom we delegate, is that confusy?

I have a feeling that it is not only some of the switchy's that are confused in their roles...

(in reply to Evanesce)

RE: Are Switches more competative? - 7/5/2007 5:46:19 AM

ExquisiteFeline

Posts: 124
Status: offline

As for competitive..
Ppl are ppl, some are competitive some are not... I dont think it is defined by roles, and some compete with others and others compete with themselves... there is nothing wrong with healthy competition as long as no one has selfish means and the outcome results in people who desire to achieve, and push others limits also :) just a thought

(in reply to ExquisiteFeline)

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