RE: Painful intercourse (Full Version)

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winterlight -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/5/2007 9:48:01 PM)

Dove soap? Would that work? I have no idea..



adoracat -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/5/2007 9:54:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zindyslave

I thought I might have that condition I had seen it on a medical show once, made sense. I know I am going to have to learn to relax and sometimes I can and sometimes not. I can't seem to find a soap that isn't antibacterial maybe I am not looking in the right places I don't know. If you could point me in the right direction it would be helpful. I do wear only cotton undies, and I am working on losing weight, I guess the washing things before contact needs to be worked on never thought about that before. Thanks.


baby wash.  that's all i use any more, due to skin sensitivity. 

kitten, who hopes that helps



zindyslave -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/5/2007 10:56:24 PM)

I can't remember if Dove is or not. Thanks for the baby wash idea.



gardenia100 -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/5/2007 11:18:34 PM)

Ivory is not an anti bacterial soap, just your old fashion no nosence soaps.  Also, make sure they are unsented.

Good luck.

Gardenia



abytchgoddess4u -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/6/2007 12:17:04 AM)

Since you have painful periods, have you investigated that you might have Edometriosis? It's possible to have two conditions combined. Also, I wanted to mention, though Mist touched on this...the antibiotics from Bacterial Vaginosis can cause yeast infections, and the yeast can then cause your system to be open to other infections.

I'd also recommend acidophilous supplementation...Bio-K is very effective(quickly) if you can get it. Also, ironing the crotch of your panties sterilises it, as does drying your clothes on the line...the sun sterilises clothes.

You can also peel a clove of garlic(but don't cut it so any juice comes out) and wrap it in cheesecloth...then insert it in your vagina at night...take it out in the morning. In addition; putting a tablespoon of baking soda or 10 drops of grapefruitseed extract in a peri-bottle(they look like this http://www.1cascade.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=0135) and rinsing every time you go to the bathroom can balance the pH and help keep yeast infections at bay...:) You can also take GSE(Grapefruit Seed Extract) orally and it will get rid of any intestinal yeast you have.

Lastly, being overweight can affect the position of the cervix...'workingonthings' has a good explanation of that. Hopefully you can try her tricks and it can help...:)



Vendaval -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/6/2007 12:57:09 AM)

Hi zindy,
 
I also recommend changing your body soap and laundry detergent to eliminate any irritation to your private parts.  Check out a local Trader Joe's or health food store for products that are hypo-allergenic and unscented.  Also be sure that any pads and/or tampons are without scent or deodorizers.  The all cotton underwear is definately a good practice. 
 
In terms of painful intercourse do try the desensitising exercises; massage, relaxing and being sensual together.  Like ED in a male the more tense and goal focused a female with this condition is, the worse the potential outcome.  Also try purchasing some books with illustrated sexual positions and try a variety of techniques.  Be sure to warm up with plenty of foreplay and a water based lubrication.
 
You do not mention if you are using any spermicides or condoms?
You could have an allergy to either latex and/or spermicies too.




WayHome -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/6/2007 4:57:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Dove soap? Would that work? I have no idea..


Dove would be fine.
Ivory is even better.

Leto



WayHome -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/6/2007 5:04:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: abytchgoddess4u

Since you have painful periods, have you investigated that you might have Edometriosis?


Hopefully that's already been covered by her Gyn. Otherwise she shouldn't have a license to practice medicine.

Leto



Ayanaev717 -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/6/2007 6:24:22 AM)

I have painful periods and I also had painful intercourse at some time or another. I learned that part of it is me not relaxing, the other part is that I was sensitive to latex, the other part is that I was not completely ready for intercourse.

I am going to assume that you are a heavy bleeder as well. I am a havey bleeder and what I have found that this can make you iron deficient. You may want to try a supplement such as One A Day for Women. Or, ask your doctor to check you iron levels and a nice small iron pill will alleviate the heavy pain. Heavy pain comes from clots and although most clots are normal...some are not...and causes pain. You can also try Omega 3- Fish oil.

If you are getting yeast infections a lot. It may also have something to do with your lubricant. The vagina is very sensistive down there. Try a different kind of lube...I use Slipper Stuff it is the same stuff docs use. If you're using condoms...try polyherthane or condoms without the spermicide. This could agitate the vagina as well. I use Avanti condoms wonderful. Also soft soaps and special creams to assist you in lubricating better. I am going to find the name of the cream...I don't use it anymore...but I will get back to you.

I hope you feel better. I know it is crazy. Also one more thing...when washing the vagina after sex. Make sure you use warm water to simply cleanse the vagina. No extra soaps. It can dry you out. Also if you're Master is being rough. YOU MUST BE READY first.

Sincerely and Always,

Ayanaev



zindyslave -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/6/2007 7:51:51 AM)

I know I am not iron deficient because I have a disease that in the future will cause my body to have too much iron, so I can't take iron pills because of that. My dad had it and it is hereditary and I have been checked and I have the indicators of it. It won't cause me problems until I hit menopause tho. We don't use condoms or spermicide, we have in the past with and without problems. I have been wondering about a condition called vaginismus where your muscles involuntarly contract during intercourse. Esspecially since my doc tells me to relax everytime I get a pap that is also what she bought up on my last pap that I am tightening up quite a bit and that could be causing my sexual problems. I have had an ultrasound where they looked to see if their where any abnormalities in my uterus and everything came back fine. My periods are painful but not really heavy even if I go a few months without one the only thing then is more pain, I only bleed heavy one or two days. About the vitamins I have been told to take vitamins but since they all contain iron I can't. Thanks leto about the soap idea.

abytchgoddess4u I am working on losing weight, I have actually been losing weight. But it takes time. I know I have a lot of problems that stem from being overweight, so that is a big goal of this year. Thank you A/all for the advice and suggestions I know have some questions I can ask my doc about.



WayHome -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/7/2007 6:42:59 PM)

Hemochromatosis. It runs in my family too. It's actually the most common genetic disease.

As to vaginismus, look at the links I gave above in my first post.

Leto



zindyslave -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/7/2007 7:11:12 PM)

I looked at the links and it seems very plausible that I have vaginismus. I seen quite a bit that related to me. I will talk to my therapist and doctor about it and see what might be done about it. Thanks for the links.

edited to add: I knew the name of it just neglected to say it. [:D]



MisPandora -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/7/2007 9:02:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zindyslave

I was hoping to get some helpful information if anyone has this problem. I have pain during intercourse and the doctor told me it is because I tighten up when he enters me since I do it when I get a pap smear too. Any ideas on how to prevent that from happening? I know it might be a long shot but thought I would at least ask?

I'm pretty sure that I just saw another post from you that you were told you have PID?  You may not be aware of it, but "painful intercourse" is one of the flags for PID. Perhaps you might address this with your physician and develop a course of treatment for the PID.



MisPandora -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/7/2007 9:07:28 PM)

Dr Bronner's castile soap is perfect, natural and inexpensive. 

http://www.drbronner.com/index.html

You can buy it at most shops or naturopathic stores.  Even my local Target and WalMart have carried Bronner products.



zindyslave -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/7/2007 9:38:00 PM)

I was told in the past that I had it, the doc gave me antibiotics and that was that, he didn't do any tests or anything. He was going basically on what it felt like down there. That is what confused me about it.

Edited to add: I bought some Ivory soap am hoping it will work.



Owned1 -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/7/2007 10:55:14 PM)

I had painful heavy periods through investigations for infertility I found out my cervix was heart shaped (should be pear shaped) and tilted.  I was investigated over the years for endometriosis cysts etc,  with nothing found.  Once I carried to term my cervix tipped the way it should be and changed to pear shape.  This is normal with carrying to term, since then my periods have been almost normal.  They used to be more painful than natural childbirth.

That maybe part of the problem however from reading through the posts I agree it is probably also related to your past and you being uptight and clamping down.  Have you tried types of meditation or trying to relax as he enters you?  I also concur with lots of lube and it is great you are open about this with your Master, he needs to be on the same page so you can work on this together and he does not feel it is him you do not want.

It is a vicious cycle as another said so trying to break that will help.  Take lots of time, lots of lube and mentally visualize your pelvic muscles loosening as he enters you, deep breathing helps as well.

I am sure you will conquer this and eventually enjoy all aspects of sex.

Owned



zindyslave -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/7/2007 11:07:37 PM)

I try to relax when he enters me but focusing on that makes it hard to get into the moment and enjoy the sensations. And as soon as I do I clamp down again. I do have very painful periods but the doctors don't seem to think it is serious basically they think I am over reacting. I just wish there was a way to deal with it medically instead of mentally. I do know that before I was raped I enjoyed sex so it seems to have changed around that time. 



laurasecrets -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/7/2007 11:20:41 PM)

to start off
tell your shrink the truth, they cant help you otherwise, yes it will be hideously embrassing at first but get used to it, that is life, and your shrink gets paid to help you not to judge you (and if they do judge you then they are crap so get a new one) my shrink (who i happily admit to being in love with) has actually tried out some of the lifestyle and while he wouldnt recommend it to most of the people he treats he doesnt question my right to do what i want (given it is what i want)



gyno saying that you clamping up during exam is a sign you do it during sex

stupid idea, (i know this because) my gyno said the same thing - turns out i had abnormal cells on (pre cancer of the) cervix, causing painful sex and hideous bleeding, and me clamping up while he was doing an exam was because he actually hurt me

have you been tested for human papaloma virus (or any of the other typical virus associated with sexually active people ie herpes) because they can often present like thrush and reoccurent thrush is not normal

have you applied said youghurt to your bits (yes werid and cold but can help

have you tried sex with you on you side bottom leg straight down the bed top leg bent with your knee to your chest and your lover approaching from the bottom? it worked for me (we were both cuddlie and he was small)

how do you have sex... ie is it a planned 3 hour event with candles, oils and seduction or is it wham bam thank you ma'am sex

failing that accept that sex will suck unless you drink copiously, and then take up drinking



zindyslave -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/7/2007 11:37:05 PM)

Well, I do know that my muscles contract when he enters me because I can feel them, getting a pap hurts in the same way and I clamp down then too. I know I am doing it but can't relax unless I focus on that plus it isn't as bad when it is sex because well it isn't a hard piece of metal going in it is soft so my clamping doesn't meet unyeilding material. I have had reaccuring yeast and BV infections for years I basically move from one to the other, when I am free of both like when they treat them both at the same time, one of them will come back with in the month. Even after him being treated also. It isn't planned and I don't need all the oils and candles...doesn't do anything for me. I do like it when he warms me up first which the doctor has told us to do, doesn't help much, if any. We are both big so we have limited positions we can try, and some we can only accomplish every now and then. I haven't gotten around to the yogurt yet but I am still on an antibiotic for a kidney infection so I am waiting until I am off of that. Can't drink anymore because it lowers my blood sugar and I get awfully sick. I am planning on bringing it up with my therapist when I see her this friday. 



pussinbootz -> RE: Painful intercourse (7/9/2007 7:55:53 AM)

Hiya

I've sent you a private message but I thought I would post here..

Have a good look into Vaginismus... as I was a sufferer.

It depend how severe it is but it may be a case of starting small and working up to your guy's size. 

There is an amazing group on yahoo that is packed full of women who suffer from this.  The addy is [email protected]

They probably have more informartion about the condition and how to beat it than anywhere else, certainly more than most doctors, therapists and gyne's.  There are women there in all stages of the issue, from being very new to it and terrified by it to women like me who have beaten it and are having healthy, pain free, penetrative sex.

Vag can be beaten, but you have to work at it and not ignore the signs of it kicking in... as soon as you feel the ouch and try to ignore it you reinforce the penetration=pain mind set.

The best way I have found to beat it is to start small, use something that is so small that it doesn't cause pain, and work your way up, slowly, being kind to yourself and definitely stopping if you feel any ouch at all!!!

I hope you find some answers and beat this as it can be a miserable thing to live with.

Puss



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