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Painful intercourse - 7/4/2007 11:19:38 PM

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I was hoping to get some helpful information if anyone has this problem. I have pain during intercourse and the doctor told me it is because I tighten up when he enters me since I do it when I get a pap smear too. Any ideas on how to prevent that from happening? I know it might be a long shot but thought I would at least ask?

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/4/2007 11:33:07 PM

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Most women do it during gynecological exams. Did your doctor check to rule out other causes before he told you that. Some infections can go undetected and cause painful intercourse. Many women mistakenly believe that a Pap test checks for everything. It does not.

Past emotional trauma can also cause this to occur. If things check out well physically I would look into the emotional aspects. If there is a history of sexual assault or abuse that is not properly dealt with it can manifest in painful intercourse. It can be worked through with the help of a therapist.

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/4/2007 11:34:43 PM

abytchgoddess4u

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Tightening up and pain during a Pap is totally different than pain during intercourse. Perhaps you're doc isn't exactly courteous or gentle when he puts the spec in? Also, you're not turned on when you get a Pap, so it's pretty much irrelevant.

As to the intercourse, it can be b/c of angle, size differentiation between your vaginal opening and your partner's cock size, lubrication, hormones, arousal level, and a host of other things.

Where is the pain and when does it happen? Is it at the opening, vaginal canal(upper/lower/sides), or cervical pain? Is it a sharp sort of nerve sensation, or a pulling? Is it muscular, bone, or tissue?

If you can describe it more fully, I may be able to help...:) Oh, and btw...get a different doctor, preferably a woman. Your doc sounds patronizing, if that's all he said.

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(in reply to zindyslave)

RE: Painful intercourse - 7/4/2007 11:48:14 PM

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The doctor I have is a female, I have had all the tests you can get to see if I was physical, and they all came back normal. I have been to two gynos and they tell me totally different things. I have been molested and raped and mentally, physically, and emotionally abused by the guy that raped me because we were dating at the time. So, I guess that could have something to do with it even tho it didn't start happening until I left him. I do feel pain when he hits my cervix, which happens alot since I am sorta small down there. I can't really describe the pain it just hurts bad inside. I am always getting infections down their so I get tested regularly for them. I know how that hurts this is differnet tho..I do noticed tho if I drink alcohol before I loosen up a bit and it doesn't hurt actually feels good, and doggy style is basically the only postion that doesn't hurt, but since we are both kinda big it is hard to keep it in, in that position.

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/4/2007 11:58:12 PM

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A couple of things. Painful intercourse from sexual abuse often does not surface until after you are out of the situation.

If you are getting frequent infections I believe that more checking along those lines is necessary. You may want to ask your Dr. if Pelvic Inflammatory Disease may be a possibility.

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"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 12:01:14 AM

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I asked that same question with the last doc I had he said I had all the symptoms (didn't do any test) and gave me medicine to take, which didn't help in any way I might add. I usually get Bacterial Vaginitis or yeast infections. I didn't know about the problems from sexually assault usually appear after the person leaves the situation. Thank you for the insight.

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 12:02:07 AM

abytchgoddess4u

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Well, from the sound of it, Mist has hit it right on the head. I'd say it's much more a psychosomatic reaction than anything physically wrong with you. Not that it's not real...I know it is. It's just that it's an extremely normal physical reaction after someone has a psychological trauma. Also, the fact that alcohol helps is a good indicator of that, b/c it relaxes you and your muscles.

I'd recommend using LOADS of lube and trying to find a kink aware counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist in your area, there's a list of them here... http://www.ncsfreedom.org/kap/

This can be dealt with and you can enjoy sex again...good luck! :D

ETA: Your partner should be treated for the yeast and Bacterial Vaginosis as well...b/c he can just be passing them back to you after you've cleared yourself...:)

< Message edited by abytchgoddess4u -- 7/5/2007 12:04:51 AM >

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Ask all from yourself." Rumi

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(in reply to zindyslave)

RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 12:05:59 AM

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Ok thanks I don't have access to a kink aware professional tho, my insurance wouldn't cover that, but i can talk to my regular therapist about it in a vanilla way. Thanks for all of the info.

edited to add: The doc said that BV wasn't contagious in that since and has treated him in the past for yeast and me at the same time to try and stop it. Helped for a bit.

< Message edited by zindyslave -- 7/5/2007 12:07:12 AM >

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 12:21:52 AM

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zindy, if you are getting alternating bacterial and yeast infections it may be that the cure for one is contributing to the growth of the other. Yeast isn't really an infection but an overgrowth of yeast that occurs when the natural PH balance is out of whack. We all have yeast in our bodies all the time. When we use medications to kill bacterial infections they don't differentiate between good bacteria and bad bacteria, they kill all bacteria, including the ones that eat yeast and keep it in balance. You may wish to try some acidophilus supplements. It will keep the numbers of your good bacteria (the one's that eat yeast) up. AZO makes a tablet that helps with recurrent yeast infections or you can buy acidophilus at a health food store (the tablets that have to be kept refrigerated work best).

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to zindyslave)

RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 12:35:54 AM

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The fact that doggy style is not so uncomfortable suggests you have an issue with the way your organs tilt. We are not all built the same. I find that certain positons hurt, even though I am well lubricated and don't normally have any issues with tension. It then becomes a vicious circle. It hurts because you're tense, and you're tense because it hurts. I find woman on top helps, because then you can position yourself right, and maybe there are some other positions that would work that you haven't yet tried. Lying side by side, legs entwined, can work really well, or rear entry from the the side, because they both prevent really deep thrusting, but are nice and tight. If you can break the cycle of tension, it might be all that is needed (but the suggestions about the acidophillus are worth looking at too)
:))
LH

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 1:01:34 AM

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Well, I try woman on top when I can get the lining up right, that is hard to do every now and then I can do it tho.

It doesn't hurt then either just hard to keep my self up there when my arms get tired from holding myself up and it is hard to do it other ways might be better if I can lose some weight. I always get a yeast infection pill when I get anti biotics for the BV. I have also heard eating yogurt helps alot in that department, it has helped in the past with me at least. I will check into the AZO thanks for the tip.

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 3:08:30 AM

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Have yourself checked for fibroid tumors.

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 7:41:53 AM

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I have been checked a few times with ultra sounds and they said they couldn't find anything, (don't know how true that is) but that is what I was told. It would makes since if I did, esspecially since I have really painful periods. I am going to again bring that up with my doc today.

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 7:50:45 AM

workingonthings

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I have the painful periods also, but nothing shows on the ultrasounds. I also have pain with sex, but I have learned it is because of the tilt of my cervix. Especially after having three kids, its actually rather easy to hit, even with fingers. Depending on how I sleep, different sex positions can be more or less painful for me. If I sleep on my stomach all night, doggy style is less painful in the morning because my cervix has fallen forward, If I sleep on my back, missionary is better because its fallen backwards during the night. (We dont have sex at night much because of work schedules, but usually me on top works the best after being on my feet all day)

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 7:54:13 AM

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See now there is something I didn't know. I haven't had kids so I don't know if that has anything to do with my problems or not. Something to ask about tho. Thanks for sharing.

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 12:17:40 PM

slaverosebeauty

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Since I had my surgery last July, sex has been a bit more painfull, mostly due to the amount of scar tissue that is there, before it wasn't as bad. My nurse practitioner suggested that I do more yoga and relax before hand as much as I can, and to take prenatal vitamins since that can help with balancing things. zindyslave, you might want to get checked for cysts, I had them last year and they hurt like hell when I had sex, I had to have them removed they were bleeding and making my life hell, even if I wasn't having sex. Different positions cause different parts to move different ways that make things worse, you could just have a very tempermental body; if you are a masocist, then the pain is a good thing to some point. Try new positions for sex and if one doesn't hurt, write it down and write down wich ones do hurt so you can take those to yor doctor and go from there.

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 5:35:40 PM

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I am a masochist to a point, I can handle some pains easier than others, this kind really doesn't do a thing to me except make me not want to have sex, which is not good. My Master doesn't want to hurt me like that so we have problems being totally intimate with each other and we are trying to find ways around that. I am basically looking for some questions to ask my doc about that might have slipped her mind at the time we were talking. Thanks for all the help and suggestions.

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 7:37:53 PM

curiousAngel40s

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I hope this resolves for you

< Message edited by curiousAngel40s -- 7/5/2007 7:40:30 PM >

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RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 8:09:36 PM

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http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/Group/MestonLAB/Resources/articles/sexual_pain.htm

http://ijms.sums.ac.ir/28_2/69-71_Mosavi.pdf

You've covered all the bases and so the diagnosis by elimination is dyspareunia. It's actually a very common condition and usually goes untreated.

The most basic and effective therapy is usually systematic desensitization. I series of dildoes of progressive sizes are used. starting with a really small one the woman practices relaxing and inserting it herself in a quiet, relaxed, private environment. It's important that it not hurt. Wait until relaxation/dilation and then move on to the next size. They sell kits for this with 10-12 sizes but I suspect it's a "perscription only" type thing. The idea is that due to trauma, previous pain, etc. your vagina has learned to contract tightly during intercourse instead of relaxing like it's supposed to. You need to re-train. It requires a lot of patience and you should probably have some professional guidance but it's not complicated or expensive and you don't need a kink-aware therapist, just one with good behavioral therapy skills. One or two visits and a lot of homework should do it.

The infections can be an ongoing problem. Once you mess up your natural vaginal flora it can be difficult to re-establish a healthy environment. Each time you have to take antibiotics you mess it up again and the cycle continues. There is no simple cure. Some things that can help: losing weight, wearing only cotton undies, changing undies often, washing only with gentle (not antibacterial) soap and drying thoroughly afterwards, keeping dirty things away (wash hands, penises, etc before they go anywhere near it). Again this requires patience and persistance.

Hope that helps.

Leto

(in reply to curiousAngel40s)

RE: Painful intercourse - 7/5/2007 9:39:36 PM

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I thought I might have that condition I had seen it on a medical show once, made sense. I know I am going to have to learn to relax and sometimes I can and sometimes not. I can't seem to find a soap that isn't antibacterial maybe I am not looking in the right places I don't know. If you could point me in the right direction it would be helpful. I do wear only cotton undies, and I am working on losing weight, I guess the washing things before contact needs to be worked on never thought about that before. Thanks.

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