RE: Relocating?

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Lewcifer -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 11:01:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Honesty is only useful when you know how to apply it effectively anyway. How very, very true.

Lewcifer -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 11:11:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww I rather be happy in a dump than miserable in a mansion.......I'm not super interested in material possessions ( moving sucks when you own more stuff) and I really hate moving. I'd be willing to move under the right situation (yes, I'm a dom, gasp), but I can't live off of someone else, I don't think its ethical. In the same token, I don't take kindly to someone trying to live off me. I basically think they are lacking something critical... Unlike You, I'd rather not compromise unless it's necessary... I'd rather be happy in a mansion than either happy or miserable in a dump. I'd also rather be miserable in a mansion than happy in a dump... because I know I can sell the mansion and, with its proceeds, pay cash for the "happy" dump. Personal (relationship) happiness has little to do with domicile. Money, or actually the lack thereof, has everything to do with stress in a relationship. quote: I had a money dispute with my gf/sub, where I went to visit her spend time even though we are local to each other, in a special circumstance, and probably should of talked about it ahead of time but thought we had a basic understanding....appearantly not, she wasn't even willing to cover any expenses....so me going out to meet her cost me money. The idea I had about her helping cover expenses for me visiting fell flat with her....I basically paid for everything, and made me think she really wasn't right for me, too materialistic. I know alot of women are materialistic, and its a major turn off.... ... and I suppose, in Your mind, it is her fault for not agreeing to what You had assumed? Is it her fault You chose to spring this on her rather than negotiate it ahead of time? This tells Me You're likely a poor judge of character, a poor communicator and passive-aggressive in Your relationships. The fact that You can comment on the situation and not see the problem as You so clearly set it forth in writing tells Me that truth often eludes You, even when it's in front of Your face. It's not that someone is "too materialistic" for You... it's that You haven't a clue as to how to handle them! From Your description, materialistic women have control over You... they make Your pre-set programming run and You're on auto-pilot throughout. Until You learn to control Yourself, You'll fail at controlling others. My suggestion to You (like it or not) - grow up.

texancutie -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 11:24:12 AM)
lol...that is an honest statement as well. No mincing words there. [:D] I wouldn't consider an LDR if I was looking again. Been there, done that, got the tshirt that said it sucked for me, and once was enough. So therefore I would not even consider relocation. But never say never. I have been forced to eat my words before of course. We all have. But in all seriousness, I would stick close to home and Houston is a very large city. Though I do understand one won't always have chemistry with everyone they meet. I have a rule about not meeting people who live (meaning reside) outside of a 60 mile radius, as anything other than platonic friends only. And with the traffic in Houston, even 60 miles is pushing it. I love being able to just get out for coffee or food now and then, and not have to plan every single thing way in advance. It's nice to get a phone call that says..."Hey what are you doing in about an hour"? [:)]

cjenny -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 11:34:20 AM)
I'm totally re-locatable [:D]. I love my house with its woods & wildlife. Peacocks, turkeys, deer & coyotes make regular appearances. But the snow is freakin' killing me lol. Once I figure out how to get my home and property ready it is For Sale By Owner. This is a stage in my life when I am fully ready to up and go just about anywhere. No family ties are left in my state & I no longer work. It is a really freeing feeling [:)] knowing I can drop it all and go. Most other people seem to have a lot of ties and reasons it would be hard for them to move. Jobs are so important and that isn't something easy to walk away from. Add in the 401K's the accrued benefits and stability all become something for your future. It is important to realise that relationships are tough & reality can be ugly. The divorce rate is sky high & there is no 'rate' for us but I bet it is high too. So someone can't always just abandon what they've worked for to secure their future. Family is something that some don't want to leave behind too. It is scary for a lot of people (IMO) to decide to leave that behind. I plan to move to a city where I know no one. It's going to be a seriously awesome adventure. Once I sell this house!

Lewcifer -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 12:04:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cjenny I plan to move to a city where I know no one. It's going to be a seriously awesome adventure. Once I sell this house! you and Yours are welcome in Boise, Idaho.

GeekyGirl -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 12:07:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MASTERHAWG Sounds like you're loaded with "material" things. Why would you even run a profile? You're obviously the "ruling" force in your life. But, not EVERY sub is in your successful situation, Maybe some of the others would like to achieve such things, too! So because I have successful life that I'm attached to, and a good stable job to support my retirement years , I have no right to love and romance? Keep in mind, I'm not a slave, I'm a sub/bottom. I give control over CERTAIN areas to a dom...not all of them. My financial stability and support network is NOT something I'll give him and I sure as hell wouldn't give up the passion of my life, which is my horse farm! Now if he owns a huge horse farm somewhere that me, my family, and my friends can go live on, then I'm all for it! I have every bit as much right to search for a kinky partner as anyone else. I limit my search however to local people who won't expect me to give up the things important to me, because whether he lives 1000miles away or 10miles away, my butt is staying right here at the address I'm at now. The way I see it, no man who really loved me would ask me to give up the things that make me happy! quote: if you treasure possessions more than relationsihps, seek mental help..... Sometimes possessions equate to relationships. The materal things I have ($60,000 horse trailer, the farm, $30,000 barn, lighted arena, etc) are the things which allow me to pursue my passion for showing horses. It's not the materal part I'm attached to. It's the relationship with the animals....The horses make my heart sing. Unfortunately, they are an expensive hobby and it requires material things to enjoy competing on them. I'm attached to my house and 5 acres too...not because it's a material thing but because I can have my 8 dogs and 10 cats here...most dominants don't own rural property and wouldn't have a place for my babies to live. It's about my relationships with my fur-kids, not the house itself.

GrizzlyBear -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 1:20:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl So because I have successful life that I'm attached to, and a good stable job to support my retirement years , I have no right to love and romance? Keep in mind, I'm not a slave, I'm a sub/bottom. I give control over CERTAIN areas to a dom...not all of them. My financial stability and support network is NOT something I'll give him and I sure as hell wouldn't give up the passion of my life, which is my horse farm! Now if he owns a huge horse farm somewhere that me, my family, and my friends can go live on, then I'm all for it! I have every bit as much right to search for a kinky partner as anyone else. I limit my search however to local people who won't expect me to give up the things important to me, because whether he lives 1000miles away or 10miles away, my butt is staying right here at the address I'm at now. The way I see it, no man who really loved me would ask me to give up the things that make me happy! ... I'm attached to my house and 5 acres too...not because it's a material thing but because I can have my 8 dogs and 10 cats here...most dominants don't own rural property and wouldn't have a place for my babies to live. It's about my relationships with my fur-kids, not the house itself. Living where you do, in or near the DFW metro area, you should certainly be able to find someone suitable from among the millions who live there. The ones who mystify me are the ones who live in some place like the middle of Nowhere, Alaska, in a cabin, yet say they will not relocate. Pretty small pool of potential partners there, and they've probably already rejected both of them. What sort of Dom is going to be in a position to uproot himself and move to a place like that, with no jobs except falling timber? Only the ones who don't have much going on, or get their money in the mail. I can understand loving your environment and not wanting to leave it but you do have to be realistic about your chances for success in finding a partner. The selection is somewhat better than that where I live, but not like a large city. I don't say I would never relocate for a sub, but it would need to be for a much better situation. Never is a very long time.

MercTech -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 1:32:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn Why does it seem that most Doms want their potential sub/slave relocate to them and not the other way around? Why can't some Doms/Dommes be willing to relocate to where ever their sub/slave lives? i've talked to a few where they were either a Dom/Domme and it shows "willing to relocate", but than when talking to them they say no thier not and that their sub/slave has to go to them. Please help me understand this possible misconception that i have. Thank you Employment dynamics. A Dom may have a career that can't be picked up easily. Myself, I could relocate anywhere and probably will relocate in a year or so. I haven't decided where I will finally land. Stefan

angelsub642 -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 2:23:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx Hello, I'm Jeff, and I'm a Dom (Hi, Jeff.) My box was checked, but even so I didn't know if things would go that way if/when I met someone interesting. Well, I met someone interesting, and unless certain circumstances occur, I'll be leaving my nest and job in the next few months and heading to be with my submissive partner. The reason why I have that box checked is that I work in an industry where jobs are relatively plentiful (although I wouldn't want to necessarily do what I used to within my industry). I have a decent, steady income and a position as manager now. I have no idea what sort of job I'll get and no clue what sort of money I would be making. We've established that I would be working at 'something'. And that's it. Answer your question? Finally a Dom who was willing to relocate. Only my what?? 2nd Dom that's told me that he'll relocate? Jeff

losttreasure -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 3:51:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover Seriously, I'm not judging the choices you make in life, nor in your relationships. But I can't help to wonder if the irony of this statement escapes you? You're complaining about money, and she's the one that's too materialistic? lol... That jump out at you, too?

Missokyst -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 3:52:27 PM)
heh... I have a great job, a nice place, and I love my neighborhood but.. Heck.. I'll beat you daily if I can build a place on your property. :) I love animals. LOL Kyst

GeekyGirl -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 4:00:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst heh... I have a great job, a nice place, and I love my neighborhood but.. Heck.. I'll beat you daily if I can build a place on your property. :) I love animals. LOL Kyst LOL, just come to texas! I've got plenty :P We've got more pets than we know what to do with! (But I wouldn't trade my critters for anything.)

bandit25 -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 4:07:58 PM)
Same can be said for subs. She may have a career that can't be picked up so easily.

kyraofMists -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 4:16:28 PM)
I think he would have preferred to relocate to me rather than me relocating to them. However, that just wasn't practical. There are 5 of them, his time and position in his company make it possible for Alandra to stay at home and for him to retire early. I have family here, but I aslo have family across the US. My company was sold shortly after I became his and it was just recently sold again. My position in the company does not have much of a future. It is my hope that I will be able to maintain this job until I am allowed to move. It is just much more practical for me to move. Knight's Kyra

OsideGirl -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 6:10:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MercTech Employment dynamics. A Dom may have a career that can't be picked up easily. So could a submissive.

Sinergy -> RE: Relocating? (7/9/2007 9:02:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MercTech Employment dynamics. A Dom may have a career that can't be picked up easily. I am a union longshoreman and am limited in terms of relocation to port towns on the west coast. LA, San Diego, Ventura, Oakland, San Fran, Portland, Frasier River, Seattle, and a couple of others depending on work. The gig that I have in the union is so freaking sweet that love or money will not make me give it up. Another 9 months and I will be a union member for life, with the best benefits on the planet, even if I never work another longshoremans job. Sinergy p.s. Of course, I would have to pay for my benefits if I did not work 1300 hours in a year.

Rayne58 -> RE: Relocating? (7/10/2007 5:08:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl Most normal people, dom or otherwise, are quite reluctant to relocate. That's because most normal people have jobs, families, friends, homes, etc. The lack of these things, or the ability to competely walk away from them, is one that would give me pause when considering a potential partner, as I would question his sense of loyalty and devotion to those around him as well as the stability of his personality in general. I am fiercely devoted to my family, friends, career, and home. There's not a man on earth worth losing those things and I would expect my partner to have similiar values. Hence the reason why I am adamant about dating local men only (I tried the long distance thing and found it very disturbing on many levels.) At 45 I moved countries (from New Zealand to Australia) to be with my Dom. I was two years separated from my ex husband, my son was 20, starting his first job and living away from home, my daughter was 16 and living with her father. My elderly parents, who I had had the responsibility for, had moved to be near my brother. I had no job, was renting, and really had no real ties to the area I had spent 38 years in. Sydney is home now. Master and I got married six months ago. I found it very difficult at first because I had spent all my life in the country and Sydney is a big place [&o] However I have gradually got used to it (apart from driving!).

DesertRat -> RE: Relocating? (7/10/2007 7:31:14 AM)
~fr~ I won't relocate, not initially, anyway, for several reasons. One is that I have a very awesome place here. Quiet, private, pretty, on 5 acres with nice views of the mountains and basin, etc. Another is that my so-called career is very well established here. I also find that...provided I use my brain...my living situation serves as a screening tool. I'm an urban guy, born and bred. I know and love city stuff and, even though I don't spew alot of verbiage to let you all know how cultured I am, cerebral pursuits constitute a major part of my life. But now I live here, in a place that works for me on a much deeper level. Living in the boonies doesn't mean I'm a hick. I am pretty upfront about this stuff in my profile, so if someone feels I live in 'bumfuck', she's obviously not my girl and never will be. Bob

SlND3R3LLA -> RE: Relocating? (7/10/2007 8:27:04 AM)
I didn't have a problem moving to be with Master. He has a good job, that can be hard to find again. The place I am from really doesn't have anything that is this stable, so it was really a no-brainer. I miss home and I would love for us to move there, but I know it's just not possible anytime soon. We have the same goals though in the future, which is being out in the country, so it will all work out over the coming years. It is nice to start over where no one knows you, but it's also bad starting over where no one knows you. It's awful to try and make friends, that is the worst part. I hope over the years I will learn to like it here more, but as long as my Master is here, I will have some sort of happiness. ~sin, Masters sometimes homesick slave

submittous -> RE: Relocating? (7/10/2007 1:35:14 PM)
I think it is a function of timing in life more than who is Dom or sub. We as a Dom/me couple have been unwilling to relocate when we had multipule careers and businesses running, been very mobile and more than happy to move to a slaves locations after selling those assets and now having settled in a place that we see as unbeatable for comfortable living are again not willing to move. I do think Doms are usually the main provider in M/s and therefore tend to want stay where their job and connections are.... but as we said above not always. A comment about why relocate,? We have found that real compatibility for long term M/s is rare and difficult to find. Putting what we see as artifical restraints like where someone is currently located on a serious search seems really counter productive. We don't see anything outrageous about looking for the right people wherever they are in the world. Bill and Iris

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