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help to understand!! - 7/13/2007 11:06:00 AM

fingers16

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/13/2007
Status: offline

HELP!!! im trying to get some background info , so i can try and understand what roles both the dom and sub play, as im trying to enhance a relationship with a person who is a sub!! ty

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RE: help to understand!! - 7/13/2007 11:07:30 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Whatever works for you guys, you should be talking to her honestly and openly about how you feel, not freaking out and asking net strangers for a guidebook.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to fingers16)

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RE: help to understand!! - 7/13/2007 11:39:07 AM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
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You list yourself as a "switch" Which means in some situations you are "in control" and others you have given a level of control over to someone else.
A "Dom" is one who is in control, they have either taken or been given this control by another. They can be Domanant in a very vanilla situation. Most polititions are Domanant personality types, People at the head of businesses and corporations are also. An agressive driver has domanant tendancys. They often want things done "their" way .
Take 10 people at random ask them to sit in a room with an oblong table with one chair at the head the rest on the sides, Tell them to sit anywhere they wish all sets are available. Often the Domanant person in the group will sit at the head of the table, The submissives will sit at the sides.
Are these hard fast rules.. NO.
There is a difference between Domanance, Submissive and courtesy. I am one who tends Not to open doors at a store for a stranger, Does that mean I am not polite. No I do not, It means that "why should I open the door for you when you are capable of doing it yourself". If someone has their hands full, Yes I will and do open the door for them. Is this an indication I am Domanant, Perhaps so.
To me respect and courtesy is not necessarily automatic due to gender, it has to be earned.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: help to understand!! - 7/13/2007 2:01:13 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fingers16

HELP!!! im trying to get some background info , so i can try and understand what roles both the dom and sub play, as im trying to enhance a relationship with a person who is a sub!! ty

You are the artist, your submissive is the canvas. You decide, together, on what colors of paint will be used and sketch out what the picture will look like in the end ... then you agree and proceed to guide the brush and she agrees to accept your strokes trusting that you will paint the picture you both agreed on. Just don't try to paint a horse when you both agreed it would be a picture of flowers and it's all good.

Be aware that paint does drip so put down a towel first to help keep things neat and feel free to color outside the lines when you both feel ready to do so.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to fingers16)

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RE: help to understand!! - 7/13/2007 3:34:50 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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In terms of a relationship dynamic, the only thing that defines a power exchange relationship (D/s, M/s, etc.) is control... one partner is in control and one partner is controlled. Beyond that, each relationship is unique.

The nature of that control, its depth, boundaries (if any), expressions, etc. are unique to each relationship. You and your partner will have to determine what works best for yourselves.

John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to fingers16)

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