How to start getting into the lifestyle?

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How to start getting into the lifestyle? - 6/21/2005 7:42:14 PM

Edwyn

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I'm trying to figure out what the best way is to just start out really experimenting with the whole bdsm lifestyle. I'm only 18, so I have very little experience, and I really dont know how to go about getting any more experience. I have my profile up here, but I don't want to think that all I can do is wait for someone to respond.

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RE: How to start getting into the lifestyle? - 6/21/2005 8:08:55 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Being 18 and male are strikes against you unfortunately, but the area you live in is chock full of groups, so go out and there and go to munches and parties! Get to know your local TNG group which caters to the younger crowd and just be social.

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RE: How to start getting into the lifestyle? - 6/21/2005 8:16:14 PM

MistressFire70

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Start by contacting these groups and asking if they are 18+ rather than 21+. You might also like to check if they are gay/lesbian organizations, since I note that you are straight.
http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html#Illinois

Fire

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RE: How to start getting into the lifestyle? - 6/21/2005 8:26:46 PM

Kinkypupper

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Find out about local "munches" and events. Yes you may feel out of place for a while but watch and learn and ask LOTS of questions.
Yes your 18 and ready to take on everything and you want it all NOW.
But be patient life is long and many here have not truely found who they "are" until in some cases their late 40's.
I am 50 would i want to be your age again NOOO WAY :-)

Do not jump one direction or another. Keep ALL your options open. Read the forums here and at Bondage dot com.
Enjoy yourself and your body. Stay away from drugs and such experiment with "Tantric" and "Yoga" look within and learn who YOU are. Then decide and always ALWAYS listen to that little voice within and respect those who listen to theirs.

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RE: How to start getting into the lifestyle? - 6/21/2005 9:20:45 PM

sub4hire

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To echo what other's have stated. Go out to munches and get to know other's. Some munches do have age limits...some are 18 some are 21 and some are 25. Although there are the younger crowd munches out there as well.

Just meet friends within the scene and they will show you the way.

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RE: How to start getting into the lifestyle? - 6/21/2005 10:20:58 PM

junecleaver

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Too bad you're a submissive. You're pretty cute. Breaking into the lifestyle isn't as scary as it seems. And everyone else has given you excellent advice that you should follow.

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RE: How to start getting into the lifestyle? - 6/22/2005 7:02:10 AM

Vancouver_cinful

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And read, read, read!!!
There are so many good books out there. SM101, Screw The Roses, The Topping and Bottoming Books.
Take advantage of local workshops, on every subject.
People will definitely take you more seriously if you are willing and eager to learn, and you'll meet people and make friends, which is the first step to playing.
Best of luck!
Cin

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RE: How to start getting into the lifestyle? - 6/22/2005 4:45:37 PM

FangsNfeet

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When I turned 18 and finally moved out of a dump of a Red Neck Hick town found in BEF of South East Texas, I began to experiment with partners myself in BDSM.

Reading, munches, scenes and such are always good for getting ideas. However, what really got me started in BDSM relationships was confidence. When I started making out with someone it never hurt to ask "Would you like to be spanked now?" and say "I have a blind fold and some rope in the closet" If they where never envolved in the lifestyle before they soon got a good piece of it.

As a submissive, confidence can still apply to you. Most Doms like having a fresh sub because we don't have to break bad habbits you learned from other Doms. We can teach you exactly how we want things done. Your goal is to be confident with your youth. When flirting it will not hurt to use phrases as "Did I just earn a spanking?" "To ride this youthfull bull you'll have to tie me down" "How fast can you take off my belt and spank me with it?" "I'm a horney boy, you sure you can handle me?" "If you can take me on you're allowed to try?" and whatever you can think of. Even if you end up dateing someone who isn't all that kinky to begin with, you can still introduce them to things you would like done to you. Buy some rope, a blind fold, cuffs, and some spanking stuff to keep in your closset. Just basic stuff. Fancy isn't needed. When making out with some one who may not be in the lifestyle yet ask for fingernails, biteing, and hair pulling. If it's working ask to be spanked a few swats. If she's getting turned on by it say "Your naughty self is driving me wild. If you tie me up I'll be all yours for the taking." If it turns out to being a couple the two of you can go to sex stores together, watch BDSM porn, and such to get ideas where you can say "oh oh oh, how about you try doing that to me?"

Ignorance is blis. Asking someone "how does this feel?" "how would you like it?" "How may I serve you this evening?" and "May I use your thighs to keep my ears warm?" will go a long way for you. Just remeber to be confident when you ask them.

As for being a guy in general, it never hurts to take a few lessons about giving massages, oral sex, and getting an exercise routine. Most women like guys who do those things.

Best of luck. I'm sure you'll be caught before you know it.

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