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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 3/31/2008 10:18:09 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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Being bipolar scares people. Most of the time, they assume the craziness they read baout in sotries, see on TV, hear in the news all happen in every person who has it. Now, whats worse, celebrities who are having issues are plastering BIPOLAR all over the tabloids to excuse their actions. That just makes our stigma worse than it already was.
The majority of people cannot function without medication. I am one of a small (possibly tiny) minority that can. I know from what *I* go through on a daily basis that being tossed into this suddenly and without preapration would drive me crazy.
Telling others has always been risky. Between using it as an excuse for anything I do they dont like - Oh, thats not you talking, its your disorder- to overexaggerating every little emotional bump... it doesnt make things easy. Some people are just not equipped to be involved with someone like that. I tell everyone right off. I dont like surprises and if there is the possibility they will EVER see what I go through I need them to know what it is and why it is. Most never will, I am too private for that. Those who cant handle the idea leave. Those who can stay. I do not force in either direction. If someone cannot handle my bipolarity, they are not a god fit. No matter how well everything else might have worked, it is a fact of life and part of who I am even if it is a part I dont like it is also a part that will never go away. Any partner I would potentialy have need to accept that as much as they do my arthritis or my dislike of the color pink. Just a part of me, take it or leave it.
The ones who want to know are more than welcome to research it, I will help with the study and I can even have them talk to psyciatrists i know. I do not see one, since they never seemed to help me.

DV

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Post #: 41

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/8/2008 7:34:59 AM

CountrySong

Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
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ThundersCry,
Sorry to hear of your loss. Though my EX still lives there was rarely a three month period when she was not suicidal at some point. I had to deal with the emotions of knowing that she might end her life while I was at work and waking up in the middle of the night to find her gone and having to seach the railroad tracks and other locations.
When she called and said "I'm in love, but not with you." It left a lot of pain and a big empty spot in my soul.
I hope she makes it but I doubt that she will. Too much pain and to few hopes and dreams. She has already started using drugs and alchohol and there is not a damb thing I can do to help her.
Peace

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 42

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/8/2008 7:52:17 AM

domahpet

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

a counselor (for you)
a restraining order (for them)
going offline for awhile to let the shit settle.

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Post #: 43

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/8/2008 8:17:37 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

The initial post is a bit old but my guess is that the d/c of meds had to do with drug interactions with the anesthesia agents...but there should have been a consult between surgeon and psychiatrist to figure out the best way to effect that change.

It is such a difficult illness...and no matter how hard it is for the loved ones...it is so much harder on the ones who suffer even though it does not always seem that way.

(in reply to justbeingme2007)

Post #: 44

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/9/2008 12:25:00 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

and then there are those that know they are bipolar and choose not to take the meds because they dont like the side effects ..... it is hard to watch their cycles .... when you care about them so much " it hurts"

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Post #: 45

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/9/2008 7:23:54 AM

missfrillypants

Posts: 124
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Being bipolar scares people. Most of the time, they assume the craziness they read baout in sotries, see on TV, hear in the news all happen in every person who has it. Now, whats worse, celebrities who are having issues are plastering BIPOLAR all over the tabloids to excuse their actions. That just makes our stigma worse than it already was.
The majority of people cannot function without medication. I am one of a small (possibly tiny) minority that can. I know from what *I* go through on a daily basis that being tossed into this suddenly and without preapration would drive me crazy.
Telling others has always been risky. Between using it as an excuse for anything I do they dont like - Oh, thats not you talking, its your disorder- to overexaggerating every little emotional bump... it doesnt make things easy. Some people are just not equipped to be involved with someone like that. I tell everyone right off. I dont like surprises and if there is the possibility they will EVER see what I go through I need them to know what it is and why it is. Most never will, I am too private for that. Those who cant handle the idea leave. Those who can stay. I do not force in either direction. If someone cannot handle my bipolarity, they are not a god fit. No matter how well everything else might have worked, it is a fact of life and part of who I am even if it is a part I dont like it is also a part that will never go away. Any partner I would potentialy have need to accept that as much as they do my arthritis or my dislike of the color pink. Just a part of me, take it or leave it.
The ones who want to know are more than welcome to research it, I will help with the study and I can even have them talk to psyciatrists i know. I do not see one, since they never seemed to help me.

DV

i wasn't going to get involved in this thread, but i really liek the way you put that. being someone who also doesn't take meds because the one medicine they've put me on that worked stopped working and without health insuracne i can't afford to be on something that does not work properly, i can relate to what you're saying and i'm glad. when britney spears and that whole thing broke, i was going around telling everyone i knew
"BRITNEY SPEARS IS NOT THE FACE OF MY DISORDER, DAMNIT!"

i think that actually has a lot more to do with the whole britney spears myth complex of fame that's crawling all over her daily, but that's beside the point.

to the original poster, i think the best thing for you to do is something totally unrealted to D/s in your area for the time being. your foot is bothering you, so maybe you can't get around well, but try picking up a new hobby: video games or reading or something. whatever interests you and keeps you happy. the stress is obviously getting to you and you need to keep careful tabs on that. if you've done things like talking calmly and rationally with this man's wife, there's not much else you can do... before doing anything, since you're not on your meds like getting a restraining order, you may want to think about it carefully. if you have local friends who know you well, they will know to take any character assasination attempts with a grain of salt.

to the person who had a sub leave because he was bipolar: my first reaction, assuming that wasn't just an excuse and things went well up to that point and she really hurt you is simply "screw her." there are people like that, but they're obviously not the one that you're looking for. i realize it's painful and all that but you'll find someone who will fit you better and be glad you aren't with someone who doesn't accept something about you.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 46

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/9/2008 8:25:28 AM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

DV:

I here ya. I am sitting here trying to take all of my meds wondering why when they cost so much money and each has a side effect; however, I become extremely adgetated or almost violent if I do not take them.
I throw fits, or I have very low energy levels where I cannot get around for weeks at the time.
I am able to work now. That keeps me going.
If a person does not understand your illness, then they are not worth it at all. Open the door, and show the the way out.

Best wishes,

MissSCD

(in reply to missfrillypants)

Post #: 47

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/9/2008 12:36:29 PM

Paulswench

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/7/2008
Status: offline

Dear justbeingme....

i am bipolar and really all i want to say is... my thoughts are with you... and my prayers if you wish them...

Celeste, Cipherx and Aswad all gave excellent advice... please talk with your psychiatrist about seeing a therapist if you continue off meds or on meds that aren't the best for you because of the medical problems... a therapist can give you a place to talk things through and give good ideas for dealing with daily problems during this stressful time...

please take care of yourself to the best of your ability and don't be afraid to seek out help or blow off steam...

Paul's wench

(in reply to lilypad1951)

Post #: 48

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/12/2008 4:33:30 PM

CountrySong

Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline

To those choosing to not take meds - please look into alternative therapies. They do work but they are not as easy as just popping a pill. If you have someone in your life who is committed to helping you stay on track then the odds are good.

Bipolar KILLS. There is a podcast called "the bipolar advantage" check it out online and listen to his post on his friends suicide.
Peace,
Your beatutiful stay alive.

(in reply to Paulswench)

Post #: 49

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/12/2008 7:23:04 PM

midgetmafiosa

Posts: 195
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Maine, and SLC, UT
Status: offline

Oy, vey. Britney Spears. I don't really talk about being bipolar a lot, so I try to deflect most of that "celebrity" attention away from me. I always liken the way I deal with what I go through to what a diabetic goes through. Self-awareness, behavior modification, and medication. I tell people that the meds I take are no different than insulin for the diabetic. It's just a necessary part of life for me. Keeps my brain in check, and me healthy. I certainly understand why people would want a med-free life. I take lots of them, and it's very expensive and hard to keep track of. However, the difference between being on medication and off is like flipping a light switch for me. More power to you if you can manage your moods without drugs. I am grateful for the cocktail that I take every morning when I swallow them.

(in reply to CountrySong)

Post #: 50

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/12/2008 7:23:38 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Hugs to you, sweetie. Two people in my immediate family have this diagnosis and it is one of the worst things to deal with, whether as the patient or a loved one. It sucks. It can turn people into Jekyll and Hyde so quickly. I often wondered whether I was coming home to someone who was going to be way too happy and grandiose or to someone who was depressed, angry and ready to take the world out with them.

The manic side can lead to so many risky behaviors and carelessness and doing things that one may never do if not in that state of mind. The depresssive side can just be chaotic and dark and heart-breaking.

Getting the meds just right and keeping on top of symptoms when meds need adjusting can be tricky and frustrating, but it is worth it. My heart goes out to you, it really does. Keep your chin up and find or consult professionals who can help you and give some support to those who are dear to you. Take care, and if you ever want to talk on the flip side, my mailbox is always open.

~ DRH

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Post #: 51

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 4/12/2008 7:27:17 PM

midgetmafiosa

Posts: 195
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Maine, and SLC, UT
Status: offline

DRH, I am extremely lucky in that I have a fantastic med combo that allows me to function very, very normally. I went through a rough patch for about a month last fall while some things needed tweaking, but that just comes with the territory. I also have wonderful, supportive friends that take excellent care of me. Thank you for your heartfelt interest.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 52

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/25/2008 8:29:32 AM

g1024

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/27/2008
Status: offline

Cheating is Cheating, and I have to agree when it comes to a relationship with someone thats bi polar? RUN!!!! having just spent 2 years of my life with one I should know. The emotional abuse is just not worth it
Gregory

(in reply to ThundersCry)

Post #: 53

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/25/2008 9:48:19 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: g1024
Cheating is Cheating, and I have to agree when it comes to a relationship with someone thats bi polar? RUN!!!! having just spent 2 years of my life with one I should know. The emotional abuse is just not worth it
Gregory

Of course this is your opinion only and it sounds like the relationship you have come out of was not a happy one.... however, many people with a diagnosis of bipolar live meaningful, happy and very stable lives. Medication, talk therapy and supportive friends and family are just some ways in which the symptoms can be made more manageable. I have had a past relationship with a man who was an idiot (in my opinion), it doesn't mean I have declared all people with a penis to be idiots that need to be avoided.

edited to add : ps. I see this is your first post, welcome to the forums :)

< Message edited by wandersalone -- 7/25/2008 9:50:59 AM >

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 8/3/2008 7:43:32 PM

subeos

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline

You know it's okay to be Bipolar. i see only one person saying anything bad about it. Based on ONE experience. It is so sad that it has to be repeated over and over how horrible it was. i believe this person need some help too. i believe that we pick ppl for certain reasons. i mean it takes two. You act as if you were a emotional helpless person. Borderline does come to mind. Yes, it does sound as if your bitter, but why not find out why you pick these "ppl" i am sure it is not the first time either. And, i am sure you had your hand in some things too. With that profile g1024 you might not find anyone good either. To bad your so angry. i really feel talking to someone could help. Only if your willing to look at yourself as well?????

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 55

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 8/8/2008 4:28:00 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

I wish you had a profile; I was gonna write to you privately. Here's the situation as I understand it:

First, threats have been made against you and your family. You need someone to help you evaluate the seriousness of these threats and to help you take any protective action necessary.

Second, your rep is getting trashed...but mainly by one vengeful woman and her cadre. There's zero you can do about this and people will eventually figure out she has personal motives...so let it ride...don't fight it...just be honest with people who question you.

Lastly, you fell into a relationship with a married man....and now you have regrets...and know from some source he still hasn't been totally honest with his wife. Again, not something you can do a thing about. Try not to pay any attention.

As to your depression, if you've been off meds before you probably know some coping techniques....getting enough sleep...reading a good book...taking care who you spend time with...etc. Use them and any others you can find for the time before your surgery when you need them.

It may not seem like it, but all this will pass eventually. The vengeful wife has displaced her anger to her husband, who betrayed her, onto you, thinking but for you her would not have strayed when in fact he was probably shopping for an affair when you met him. There's nothing you can do to help her or to help him, and really, nothing you owe either of them.

Best wishes.

candystripper

(in reply to justbeingme2007)

Post #: 56

RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 8/8/2008 4:32:51 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Telling others has always been risky.
DV

Most of us remain strangers to ourselves, hiding who we are, and ask other strangers, hiding who they are, to love us
Author unknown

"And the day came when the pain that it took to remain tight in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Nin

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 57

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