Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves?

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Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/16/2004 1:10:30 PM

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I am new to actually trying to participate in this life style, though have been truly fascinated in it for years. My question is this: are Dommes actually repulsed by sub/slaves ? The reason I’m asking I was reading an article on another web site.. just went looking for it so I could quote it exactly but couldn't find it, but the gist of it was this….”.Ladies..If life serves you lemons(provides you with subs), make lemonade out of it(use them for your gratification). “ This is not an exact quote but gets the point..are Dommes more disgusted by the submissive but since he presents himself to her to be used for her gratification, she might as well take advantage of it. So I’d ask are Dommes more attracted say to male doms, as far as people are concerned, but simply use what they have at hand. Any help will be appreciated. Thanks.

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/16/2004 2:02:41 PM

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Bob:

Your question is confusing. Are you talking about the Domme's sexual preference in partners or are you talking about her role as a Domme and what qualities in a sub are repulsive to her?

Her sexual preference is her concern, her private matter and has no bearing on you, the sub.

If your question is what is repulsive about a male sub to a Domme, I'll tell you what I abhor.

For a sub who is met online, his inarticulateness is offensive. Coming across as my buddy and asking me questions about myself while feigning friendship, all without introducing himself and sharing tidbits of information, leaves me cold. When you apply for a job, your letter of introduction needs to capture the recipient who is, typically, deluged with letters from many applicants. Paint a picture about yourself to pique the Domme and have her want to reply, post haste, to your application.

For the sub who is met socially -- at clubs, in the company of kinky friends, etc. -- politeness, courtesy, charm, and sincerity capture me. Just be a gentleman. I will then want you.

Understandably, it is difficult not to put your foot in your mouth, everyone does it! And because of our regret tendency, we live in retrospect, what if I had said this, what if I had done this -- forgedaboutit!

Honesty, integrity -- write these qualities on your palms and keep looking at your hands.

Sounds easy, and it is not, all of us suffer from living in retrospect. But a truthful sub is not repugant, a honest sub is not repugnant.

My three cents.

(in reply to bobup411)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/16/2004 3:24:25 PM

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Are you asking if we see submissiveness in males as a weakness.. and thusly less worthy?

I dont.. I adore men.. all men.. they are my snack of choice.. I think to be as open and as vulnerable emotionally as it takes to be submissive to another person's will is amazing. Somthing I have no desire or inclination to do.. The men I find replusive come in many different forms.. but they all have one thing in common.. a dislike of women.. a man who calls his ex wife a Bitch... or worse.. but she is the mother of his children.. a man who treats a woman as less than because of her gender... a man who lacks basic social graces. He doesnt have to be a PHD or a mutli millionaire what he has to be is a man who loves women.. and Ive found them among both Dominant and submissive males.. hetro, bisexual and gay..

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to italianalala)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/16/2004 7:30:54 PM

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I am a Mistress whom adores All Men in Their desires.
I prefer a Dominant Man for procreation and Mating
because I prefer to produce Dominant children and a
Dominant Man and Me have much more in common.
We both have Dominant tastes and desires and relate.
It was a matter of Genetics and Genes to Me, and what
I was comfortable with in Living and the way I was
taught by My Family in the Old Ways as a Dominant.
I prefer a male slave for servitude and selfless service
and for their desires to please and be pleasing and
worship a Mistress for Her Dominnering ways.
I prefer a male masocist because I enjoy watching
them enjoy the painful pleasures I can give and truly
appreciate the strenth of a Person whom can push them
past what they felt were a possible limit.
Sumtimes I find men whom fit one or more of these
positions to enjoy sum commeradery with and sumtimes
I do not but ill regardless These Three Group of Men
I cherish and adore above the Man whom is Vanilla or
the man whom is a submissive, alltho I hold good regard
for them as well, untill They prove Me different.
The type of Man whom repulses Me is a Man whom has
no honor regardless of what kind of Man he is
The type of Man whom repulses Me is a Man whom has
no integrity regardless of what kind of Man he is
The type of Man whom repulses Me is a Man whom prays
on those whom are inocent or cannot defend Them selfs
against the Man
The type of Man whom repulses Me is a Man whom I cannot
trust no matter the reason big or small.
The type of Man whom repulses Me is a Man whom is Racist
regardless of what kind of Man he is
The type of Man whom repulses Me is a Man whom doesnot
take responcibility for His actions.
I hope this shed sum light on the mindset of One Mistress, Me.

(in reply to Sylverdawn)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/16/2004 11:10:24 PM

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From: Sacramento California USA
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Repulsed? No. The question really does not make sense because without bottoms/subs/slaves, dominants would not be able to get their needs met. Its like a dance, the two halves together making the dance. How could one dance without joy and happiness?
Ana :)

(in reply to bobup411)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/16/2004 11:41:38 PM

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bob, I will state a truth that we all know. Anyone can write an article on the web. That is the authors opinion. I like males, well D/s males, not overly fond of many vanilla males. As for how I view sub/slave males, I think they have a internal strength I will never match. They willingly, eagerly laying their safety in the hands of another. I have Dom friends, but they remain friends. My enjoyment is with sub/slave males, smiling, at home I do not fight for control, sweet submissive males hand it to me on a platter. Sundew

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~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to bobup411)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/17/2004 2:08:06 AM

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Mistress Italianalala, I did not mean to make it confusing, I was just confused by one Dommes apparent classification of subs as 'lemons" and wasn't sure how many other Dommes felt the same way. Obviously a Domme's sexual preference and enjoyment is none of the sub/slaves concern except where the Domme deams it to be, and I didn't feel this Domme was refering to specific repulsive qualities of a sub. I read it more that She didn't like the subs. I hope this clears up the confusion..and Thank You for Your reply. p.s. I like to think honesty, integrity truthfulness, courtesy are some of my inherent qualities, along with devotion, desire, and loyalty. Thank you again.

(in reply to italianalala)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/17/2004 10:37:25 PM

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I truly appreciate subs, without them there would be no me. I think that says it all for me.

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(in reply to bobup411)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/17/2004 11:30:32 PM

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Personally I don't see the word 'lemon' used in the quote to be derogatory of male submissives/slaves...a lemon in its natural state is an untapped resource...as is a slave without a dominant to serve.

Lemonade, Lemon Meringue, Lemon Jelly, Lemon Jam...all wonderful things to indulge in and worth the effort of creating.

Do Fem Doms prefer Male Doms as partners? Personal choice and not something a male sub should be concerning themselves with...if you are serving a Mistress whatever the relationship she wants with you is her business IMO. If as a sub/slave you want a relationship in which you are the partner as well as the sub in the dynamic there are Mistresses out there who want the same. Good luck on your search bob.

(in reply to GoddessMarissa)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/18/2004 2:10:00 AM

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I would like to thank each Domme that took the time to answer my question. I obviously made a mistake when asking abut a Domme's attraction to male Doms.. as a sub it is obviously none of my business who she is attracted to, when or how. I apologize for that. The vast majority of the answers have convinced me that subs are cared for, as one can even care for a puppy, which is a warm feeling. I will not again ask about a Domme's attraction to anyone, unless invited by the Domme to do so. Thank you all.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/18/2004 2:11:44 AM

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quote:

if you are serving a Mistress whatever the relationship she wants with you is her business IMO.

- Jasmyn

I hate to disagree. If she only wants a dishwasher and the sub wants to be more, he will never be happy. I would suggest that guy get out either with his Mistresses blessing or not.

"Whatever Mistress wants" is good in theory, but lets be serious, there must be something as a human being the sub enjoys.

Take my job. (Please!

) If my boss wants me to clean toilets, that is my job. What I get out of the relationship is a paycheck. Without that I don't bother giving a two week notice.

Of course if he wants to be just a dishwasher it is different. (And I don't doubt there are guys who fetish dishes.:))

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Jasmyn)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/18/2004 2:54:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: italianalala

Her sexual preference is her concern, her private matter and has no bearing on you, the sub.

I don't wish to be contrary, but are you suggesting that Dominant women, by virtue of Dominance, are relieved of the need to discuss other aspects of her personality (I.e. her sexual preferences) with a man if he is a sub? I might be reading this wrong - I know that if a submissive woman I was dating asked me if I liked men or women, subs or dominants, etc etc and I said "none of your business" I doubt the relationship would last long.....

I'm not talking about initial conversation - it's repugnant to me when someone askes my sexual preferences ten minutes into a meeting, be it in real time or online.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bobup411

I’d ask are Dommes more attracted say to male doms, as far as people are concerned, but simply use what they have at hand.

I can tell you that in my experiences, it's pretty darned rare for a Domme to approach me and show any interest beyond friendship - and on the occasions I've found a Domme interesting enough to approach, typically the relationship never progresses beyond friendship. I don't wish to speak for the ladies in their preferences here of course, but it would seem to me if they were seeking Dominant men, they would state so directly in their profiles (online) or specifically seek them in real time at munches, etc.

As a general rule of thumb, the relationships between Dominant men and women seem to be a mixture of friendship and 'professional' respect, like one person might respect another co-worker.

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to italianalala)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/18/2004 4:55:15 AM

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Most dominant women get inundated with inquiries from men. In my experience, most of these inquiries start with "Mistress may I serve you" before they even know who I am and rapidly progress into the attempt to extricate the kink they 'want' or 'need.' Online this is the norm (or it has been the norm for me). Yes, I am repulsed by this. I am not a life support system for a whip.

Is it possible that the person you reference with the non-quote regarding lemons is talking about the abundance of men who approach under the guise of 'giving' with only the intent of 'taking'? Perhaps she feels as though these are the people who are fodder for her whims.

I can't say that I agree with the notion, but I can certainly empathize with it.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to bobup411)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/18/2004 8:21:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

Most dominant women get inundated with inquiries from men. In my experience, most of these inquiries start with "Mistress may I serve you" before they even know who I am and rapidly progress into the attempt to extricate the kink they 'want' or 'need.' Online this is the norm (or it has been the norm for me). Yes, I am repulsed by this. I am not a life support system for a whip.

I suppose there are folks out there who's fetish is to be as repulsive as possible to as many people as possible? Hmmm.....

BTW, you did a great job of explaining the intent to 'take' under the guise of 'giving.' I'd never thought of that before.

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/18/2004 11:15:19 AM

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quote:

Her sexual preference is her concern, her private matter and has no bearing on you, the sub.

I have to agree with what I have seen Iwill and Volare to have said about this comment, but I would like to clarify my veiw. Actually, I find the comment very true, but only if you add something to the effect *if she has already informed you she doesn't not have sexual relations with subs*. I have known males (both submissive and dominant) who try to get *explicit* delails of your sexual experience, even when it has no bearing on their own personal interactions with you. ::laughing:: I always thought it was kinda a *man* thing.

I do feel that a good dominant, male or female, should and will explain in detail to the submissive the expectations of the relationship, including if/when there will be sexual contact between them, and their veiws on things such as monogomus relationships.

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to italianalala)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/18/2004 3:10:38 PM

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I see you made it to the message boards just fine, bob. Welcome!

I've read your initial post, and all the replies, including your post further down the thread there. Don't run off, bob. Stay in there, you are getting some interesting feedback here.

To answer your question, from my point of view, I personally prefer submissive males in my 24/7 relationships because I am a 24/7 Dominant Woman. It just makes for a more natural blend. I have several friends who are Dominant men, but we are just friends and strictly platonic.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to bobup411)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/18/2004 10:17:28 PM

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quote:

I would like to thank each Domme that took the time to answer my question. I obviously made a mistake when asking abut a Domme's attraction to male Doms.. as a sub it is obviously none of my business who she is attracted to, when or how. I apologize for that. The vast majority of the answers have convinced me that subs are cared for, as one can even care for a puppy, which is a warm feeling. I will not again ask about a Domme's attraction to anyone, unless invited by the Domme to do so. Thank you all.

bob, I am not a Domme, so I am not sure how much relevance my opinion has, but from my perspective.

1) If you are in a relationship with a Domme then her word is "Law" within whatever agreements you have worked out.

2) If you are not in a relationship (free agent status) then I personally see nothing wrong with you posting to a message board on a web site. These were created to promote the free exchange of ideas and knowledge and your ideas and knowledge are as valid as anybody elses. Please continue to post questions (and answers) until such time as the One in your life tells you to stop.

Sinergy.

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/19/2004 1:59:07 AM

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LadyBeckett..Thank you for for your reply.. and no, I'm not running off..The interaction and replies are nice. I have been learning quite a bit, not only from this post, but the others I have been reading also. Maybe getting ready for phase 2 soon. Thank you.

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/19/2004 7:45:08 AM

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just my take given what I have experienced/observed (more the latter than the former as I am not sub)
The only 'Dommes' that I have seen that would seem to be repulsed by subs/slaves are the ones who are only in it for the 'gift' or 'donation' or 'financial domination' - you know, the (usually) 20 something self absorbed 'look how pretty I am and you are not worthy of me' bitches that are so clueless about the lifestyle they couldnt get a clue if they got naked, smothered themselves in clue pheremones, and danced the ritual clue mating dance in the middle of a field full of horny clues

apply usual caveats here

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Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to bobup411)

RE: Are Dommes actually repulsed by subs/slaves? - 6/19/2004 8:34:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

BTW, you did a great job of explaining the intent to 'take' under the guise of 'giving.' I'd never thought of that before.

Stephan

Thank you, Stephan.

I've got a saying, "I will not be enslaved by your slavery." Those that come to the scene attempting to only get their own wants met under the guise of 'serving' usually don't care much for that saying...and I'm OK with that!

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to Voltare)

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