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I hope this all makes sense. - 7/29/2007 11:08:56 AM

PassionsBabyGirl

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Joined: 7/23/2007
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I would like to thank, in advance, everyone who takes time to read this and respond. A little about me: I began exploring my sexuality at 13 and have never really been able to accurately label how I see myself. I am in a committed relationship, as a submissive, but have recently been offered the opportunity to take on a male submissive who wished to be guided into crossdressing. He feels transgendered (male to female) and wished to be trained as a submissive and molded as a woman but only in private as he does not feel he is ready to look into hormones.
I am approaching this slowly and carefully but I am dreadfully excited about this possibility. I have some limited experience as a Domme (strap on play, spanking, humiliation) but I feel that this relationship would be about much more than using him as my toy. We have talked and I am very careful to make sure how he feels and if he is comfortable.
I am wondering if anyone has had any experience with something of this nature. It is not forced feminization, I hope that is understood. He wants to undertake this and I am very interested as well.
What I am hoping to find is advice, tips, resources, and general support. I will be moving to the Chicago area soon and hope to become active in the community.
I do realize that I have a few things working against me but I am very receptive to advice and ideas and would be very thankful for any. Please feel free to contact me.

Thank you.

[Mod Note: various email addresses and IM contacts removed]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 7/29/2007 5:19:41 PM >

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RE: I hope this all makes sense. - 7/29/2007 1:02:37 PM

PairOfDimes

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Yes, I have experience with men who wanted to "try on" the role of a woman in private, limited spaces, or who find it erotic to roleplay being a woman--they're something between crossdressers and "proper" transgendered people, I think. And you're absolutely right to distinguish it from forced feminization, or femme humiliation--it seems to work quite differently. It's not a favorite kink of mine. In my experience, interactions generally have overtones of a sort of charm school and makeover--he might want you to instruct him on how to properly apply makeup, or how to walk gracefully in high heels.

(By the way, he'll probably want a very, very femme and idealized, somewhat historical version of femininity--you're not trying to teach him how to supervise a team of men who have never answered to a woman before, or how to kindly remind a mildly sexist professional to pay attention to *both* you and your husband, or other social graces of modern womanhood.)

Did you have a female relative who decided to teach you about properly ladylike behavior as an adolescent? I did--and some of it was archaic and dreadful, but much of it was useful, although that's a topic for another day. Anyhow, if you did have those sorts of conversations, you might dredge them out of your memory and try to exaggerate them for playtime with this man. That's a bit of a strict, admonishing, condescending tone. If not, have you ever gone to a makeup store, a skincare shop, or a boutique, where sales associates fussed over helping you choose the perfect lipstick or moisturizer or dress? That friendly and attentive, yet mildly condescending instructive role might be a different angle to use.

I hope this gives you some general advice. Your question was a touch vague, and it's always easier to answer specific questions. Perhaps this will give you a starting point.

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RE: I hope this all makes sense. - 7/29/2007 1:35:58 PM

PassionsBabyGirl

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Thank you. That seems like a good starting point. The only person I had conversations like that with was my Nana and all it really was consisted of no elbows on the table or "you can't have dinner with the prince" and always having your toe nails painted during the spring and summer.

I'm sorry if my question was vague. What I am wondering is if there are any other Dommes out there that have had an experience similar to this, where they are feminizing a transsexual.

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RE: I hope this all makes sense. - 7/29/2007 9:51:02 PM

MisPandora

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Gaining an understanding of the psychology surrounding gender identification, gender reassignment and transitioning would be key in this circumstance. You're not just dealing with someone who is crossdressing. You have someone who is willing to chemically alter their body to swing the pendulum the other way. There is a significant amount of physical commitment that goes with HRT.

If Lady Ellen is reading.....she'd be someone wonderful for you to speak with concerning things you'd need to know from that perspective.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: I hope this all makes sense. - 7/29/2007 10:32:43 PM

PassionsBabyGirl

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Thank you so much!

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RE: I hope this all makes sense. - 7/30/2007 1:08:14 PM

sophia37

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I too thought of Lady Ellen to ask. For me, my brother is now my sister. While he was learning to dress and look like a woman, I was probably the last person on his list he would ask. Im a pretty down to earth female and he was more interested in the stereotype barbiesque.

I dont know. Its hard to make a decent change from male to female for lots of people. I just witnessed this in a young woman who wants to be a man. She too picked out a stereotype. Tattos, sexist joking crude behavior cigarette smoking.

I sure hope this person isnt coming to you to teach him how to be a stereotype. Good luck. You'll need patience and a very open mind.

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RE: I hope this all makes sense. - 7/30/2007 2:29:10 PM

PassionsBabyGirl

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He came to me not looking for a specific type of woman to become but ready to become whatever I wished him to be molded into.

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"The only reward for conformity is that everyone likes you, except yourself." - Rita Mae Brown

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