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simple...right? - 6/16/2004 7:36:34 PM

confusetheswede

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From: THE DIRTY DIRTY
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of recent i had found out my Master had another sub on the side, so i took to getting to know the girl, going to lunch with her, shopping, even taking care of her childern when need be.it took over 6 months, but i am beging a vanilla sexual realtionship with her ( she doesn't know my Master is hers as well) and though it is vanilla, i have the over whelming urge to dominate her and done so, leaving faint bruises on her calves and neck. i began this realtionship to hurt my Master, but no longer see a reason to persue it other than my own pleasure. opinions?anyone?

RE: simple...right? - 6/16/2004 7:48:22 PM

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I have a few questions, to help you think.
Were you Dominant prior? Why leave marks? Are you hoping your Master finds them on her?
A vanilla sexual relationship and marks?
Are you planning on leaving your Master?

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: simple...right? - 6/16/2004 8:23:49 PM

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My Opinion

Two wrongs
dont make a
right.

You have become
what You loathed.

(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: simple...right? - 6/16/2004 9:06:29 PM

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I agree with MistressDREAD, do you really want to be involved in relationships where all the parties are involved in secret relationships on the side?

If it works for you, keep it up, but for me honesty in the relationship is the most important aspect to me.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: simple...right? - 6/16/2004 9:22:09 PM

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confusetheswede,

The situation you describe really worries me.

According to what I read, the girl/sis/sub/lover doesn't know she's intruding on your relationship with your Master. I'm really afraid your wanting to "dominate" this girl is actually misplaced anger and hatred toward your master. Confront your master if you don't want poly; don't torture the girl he's cheating with. I think that's evil.

If you really want to explore your dominant side, do it with a new person--one you don't share quite so much with. It's cleaner, more honest, and not so dangerous.

Just my opinion,

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: simple...right? - 6/16/2004 9:46:29 PM

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Joined: 6/6/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: January

confusetheswede,

The situation you describe really worries me.

According to what I read, the girl/sis/sub/lover doesn't know she's intruding on your relationship with your Master. I'm really afraid your wanting to "dominate" this girl is actually misplaced anger and hatred toward your master. Confront your master if you don't want poly; don't torture the girl he's cheating with. I think that's evil.

If you really want to explore your dominant side, do it with a new person--one you don't share quite so much with. It's cleaner, more honest, and not so dangerous.

Just my opinion,

January

Well said January, I really must agree. In the end someone will get hurt...if not all three of you. The sooner you resolve the problem the better.

Good luck!
~His rose~

(in reply to January)

RE: simple...right? - 6/16/2004 10:41:53 PM

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You started out being lied to by one, your Master? (or was it a poly relationship?)

Now in a diabolical manner (over 6 months) you have also assumed the position of liar (unless you've come clean with the other girl, but you inferred otherwise).

Is this other girl the only member of your triangle who is being truthful? If so, she deserves better than either you or your/her Master.

If you are all lying to each other, then you all deserve what you get as players.

Inyouagain

_____________________________

Careful with that axe, Eugene

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 12:38:52 AM

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I feel bad for the unsuspecting sub, but you and your master are jerks.

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 8:54:36 AM

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This lifestyle is about honor, respect and open comincation. When we deceive we are not being true to the lifestyle. What your Master was not being honest with you and the young lady. To use the young lady the way you did is not right either. When you do this are you being safe sane and consentual? You need to be honest with the young lady for her feeling could get hurt twice by your Master then by you. This lifestyle gets enough of a bad reputaion from those who use it to hurt people and take advantage them. What you did was vendictive and is that right. We have to accept our actions and be accountable as Doms/Domme or subs/slaves we have the final say how we live our life.

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 9:08:09 AM

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So..let's see if I got this right...

Your master has a submissive on the side that was not negotiated between you and him.
You sought out this girl in order to get close to her, get information and "hurt" your master.
You developed a vanilla sexual "relationship" with this girl that led to her leaving with bruises.

First, is communication so broken within your relationship that your master cannot tell you that he wants another girl? So broken that you cannot approach him as an adult and tell him that you are aware that he has another girl? If this is the case, why do either of you continue the relationship?

Second, it appears that you virtually stalked this woman and led her to believe that you were interested in her so that you could hurt your master. This is scary on so many levels...I dont know where to begin. My opinion: Seek counseling.

Finally, you bruised this woman under false pretenses. Is that consent? You call this "Dominating" her? Consider researching what informed consent means.

I apologize for being judgemental here...but when people use deceit as a relationship tool... ugh.

~Thorns

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 12:41:13 PM

confusetheswede

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From: THE DIRTY DIRTY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: inyouagain

You started out being lied to by one, your Master? (or was it a poly relationship?)

Now in a diabolical manner (over 6 months) you have also assumed the position of liar (unless you've come clean with the other girl, but you inferred otherwise).

Is this other girl the only member of your triangle who is being truthful? If so, she deserves better than either you or your/her Master.

If you are all lying to each other, then you all deserve what you get as players.

Inyouagain

----------------
it started out me and him only.
and then she came along.
so i decided to destory both of them, they had been seeing eachother for at least 8 months before i got angry.
it's funny that you condemm me, but not him or her.
i am more insane than just being a common liar, besides, if they would ask were i am or who i am with, i would be honest, they both just never ask. xoxomarinas

_____________________________

The Scorpio with hazel eyes.

(in reply to inyouagain)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 12:43:06 PM

confusetheswede

Posts: 48
Joined: 4/5/2004
From: THE DIRTY DIRTY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: January

confusetheswede,

The situation you describe really worries me.

According to what I read, the girl/sis/sub/lover doesn't know she's intruding on your relationship with your Master. I'm really afraid your wanting to "dominate" this girl is actually misplaced anger and hatred toward your master. Confront your master if you don't want poly; don't torture the girl he's cheating with. I think that's evil.

If you really want to explore your dominant side, do it with a new person--one you don't share quite so much with. It's cleaner, more honest, and not so dangerous.

Just my opinion,

January

thank you for not being rude in the statement of your opinion, your advice is well taken. thanks, marinas

(in reply to January)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 12:45:05 PM

confusetheswede

Posts: 48
Joined: 4/5/2004
From: THE DIRTY DIRTY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

I have a few questions, to help you think.
Were you Dominant prior? Why leave marks? Are you hoping your Master finds them on her?
A vanilla sexual relationship and marks?
Are you planning on leaving your Master?

your opinion was quite helpful, thank you! xoxo marinas

_____________________________

The Scorpio with hazel eyes.

(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 1:36:34 PM

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Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: confusetheswede

it started out me and him only.
and then she came along.
so i decided to destory both of them, they had been seeing eachother for at least 8 months before i got angry.
it's funny that you condemm me, but not him or her.
i am more insane than just being a common liar, besides, if they would ask were i am or who i am with, i would be honest, they both just never ask. xoxomarinas

marinas...

May i ask...how do you think this is going to affect you in the end? Forget, for a moment, your original goal with this. Think about where you want to be in a year. Do you want this to be time you have lost to trying to bring them down? Wouldn't it be better spent trying to work yourself through the pain, rather than keep yourself in it? i've been cheated on; i've been lied to. i've gone the revenge route and the only person that ended up hurting that mattered to me...was me.

What he did was wrong, imho. What you do defines who you are. No one else can do that for you. Rise up from this and be strong. i know, trust me, how easy that is to say and how difficult it is to actually do. Would you like some advice from a complete stranger?
Rip off the band-aid. However this can end, is there any way that seems like it could be good? Like no one will come out of this with some sort of pain? It sounds like however it's going to happen, it's going to hurt someone. my easiest advice, whatever you do, don't continue as you have. If for no one else but for you. i wouldn't want to invest anymore into this girl that i already have. That sounds harsh...i mean, i wouldn't want to, in trying to hurt them both, end up with feelings for this girl and having to deal with that when the truth comes out.

Sometimes our first priority, regardless of our place, needs to be ourselves. No one else.

i send you strength and hugs, darlin...

joanna

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 6:20:16 PM

Posts: 949
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quote:

it started out me and him only.
and then she came along.
so i decided to destory both of them, they had been seeing eachother for at least 8 months before i got angry.
it's funny that you condemm me, but not him or her.
i am more insane than just being a common liar, besides, if they would ask were i am or who i am with, i would be honest, they both just never ask. xoxomarinas

I don't understand the logic here, and for the record I don't think you were being "condemned" in the manner you think you are.

First, why would the "other" woman ask about your whereabouts, you are just establishing a relationship with her. Do you frequently ask your friends who, what, why and where? Most do not.

What he did, lie to you, is wrong. What you have done IMO, setting out to "destroy" her is beyond wrong. If she knows nothing of his lies and betrayal to you, how is it her fault. And why would she deserve to be destroyed?

IMO, and of course it is only my opinion, you are being very childish and attempting to hurt an innocent. If you wanted to address the situation you could have done so in a different manner. For example approach him about it and how you feel. Or let her know she is also being lied to.

But, you are watching and careing for her children?? And attempting to establish a relationship with her. In the end, how does this benifit you? You will have destroyed the relationship you have with your Master for one, you will have hurt someone intentionally that never meant to cause you any harm. And now you have made yourself a part of her childrens lives. So you will be hurting them as well. Never, ever acceptable.

My only advice to you at this point would be to tell the truth to all involved. And when they remove you from their lives completely don't be shocked.

Mod3

(in reply to Hisown)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 6:58:21 PM

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I can't help but believe you already know the answer to your question here. Further down the thread you address condemnation, and that is even more interesting. From what you've presented here the other sub is the victim in all of this, and clearly you should be ashamed of yourself. This is a perfect example of how destructive and absolutely negative jealousy is, not only to a relationship, but to all the individuals involved in it.
Surely she's had to account to your Master for the bruises!

This whole situation is unacceptable on all levels. My sympathies to the other sub and her children.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 7:05:52 PM

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There is a wonderful line from the movie Rob Roy, where Liam Neeson tells his children that "Honor is a gift a person gives themself."

Do you feel gifted by the experiences you are giving yourself?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 7:06:48 PM

confusetheswede

Posts: 48
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From: THE DIRTY DIRTY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyBeckett

I can't help but believe you already know the answer to your question here. Further down the thread you address condemnation, and that is even more interesting. From what you've presented here the other sub is the victim in all of this, and clearly you should be ashamed of yourself. This is a perfect example of how destructive and absolutely negative jealousy is, not only to a relationship, but to all the individuals involved in it.
Surely she's had to account to your Master for the bruises!

This whole situation is unacceptable on all levels. My sympathies to the other sub and her children.

she hurt me, she deserves to "account" to him, because she choose to sleep with me behind his back. i agree that jealousy is a bitch, but it's also not good to give your sub false promises or lead her to thinking you want more than you do. my sympathies have run dry.

_____________________________

The Scorpio with hazel eyes.

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 8:01:59 PM

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confusetheswede,

I know you don't have ice water running through your veins, or you couldn't be a poet. How about just holding off on some of the more intense sexual/bdsm encounters for awhile? Give your teenage psyche a chance to re-equilibrate? Be alone, devote your passion and emotions to creating poetry, instead of destroying?

Jan

P.S. I'm a Scorpio, too. But my eyes are blue. And I'm old! But I do understand (and live) intensity.

(in reply to confusetheswede)

RE: simple...right? - 6/17/2004 8:20:23 PM

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If i were you confusetheswede i would fear for my safety when your Dom finds out what is going on. Please be careful.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to confusetheswede)

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