Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word?

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Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 9:19:40 AM

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Joined: 6/13/2007
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In this world of bdsm that we live in...trust and integrity are valuable. I know that a relationship built on cyber space is not one likely to last. So my question is more for the 24/7 relationships or ones working towards that. As submissives, we offer our complete and total trust to our Doms. We give our thoughts, feelings, needs and desires and love to you. In turn, you feed our desires, provide us with a stable, loving environment. You allow us to pleasure you which in turn gives us a great deal of satisfaction and self worth. A true submissive takes a great deal of pride in making her Dom/Master happy and contented. Having our limits pushed is not only exciting but shows us another side to ourselves that we might have not known.
So..with that being said...is it hard for a Dom to keep his word to his sub? If his feelings change, for whatever reason...is it feasible to expect him to convey that? A sub always defers to her Dom, so if she is getting warning bells does she have the right to question him? I am not in this situation, but I am looking for the right One for me. I have had a disappointment with a Dom I met online..we did meet in r/l...he lied..enough said..but he did make me think there was a future for us. I am wondering though, because I did have warning bells--I chose to ignore them. I think now it would have been better for me to have confronted him. So..to the Doms/Masters...do you agree that trust is vital and important and that a sub should be able to voice her concerns? I guess I am trying to make sure I don't go through another relationship like my last. Afterall..if you take the time to meet a sub, shouldn't the honesty be expected? Thanks for your input.

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 9:26:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: desiresluv

In this world of bdsm that we live in...trust and integrity are valuable. I know that a relationship built on cyber space is not one likely to last. So my question is more for the 24/7 relationships or ones working towards that. As submissives, we offer our complete and total trust to our Doms. We dominants offer our trust and love to you subs as well. We give our thoughts, feelings, needs and desires and love to you. In turn, you feed our desires, provide us with a stable, loving environment. You allow us to pleasure you which in turn gives us a great deal of satisfaction and self worth. A true submissive takes a great deal of pride in making her Dom/Master happy and contented. Having our limits pushed is not only exciting but shows us another side to ourselves that we might have not known.
So..with that being said...is it hard for a Dom to keep his word to his sub? Not for me. If I say it I mean it. If his feelings change, for whatever reason...is it feasible to expect him to convey that? Yes. How can it be otherwise? A sub always defers to her Dom, so if she is getting warning bells does she have the right to question him? Yes. Without questions there are no answers and resolve only misery. I am not in this situation, but I am looking for the right One for me. I have had a disappointment with a Dom I met online..we did meet in r/l...he lied..enough said..but he did make me think there was a future for us. Lesson learned. Go with your gut and send the idiots packing. I am wondering though, because I did have warning bells--I chose to ignore them. I think now it would have been better for me to have confronted him. Absolutely! So..to the Doms/Masters...do you agree that trust is vital and important and that a sub should be able to voice her concerns? Trust or building of is the single most important aspect of a relationship as far as I'm concerned. I guess I am trying to make sure I don't go through another relationship like my last. Afterall..if you take the time to meet a sub, shouldn't the honesty be expected? No you can never expect honesty. Some people will screw you at every turn you can not expect honesty. You have to sniff it out and hope for the best. when the warning bells sound listent to them. Thanks for your input.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to desiresluv)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 9:27:54 AM

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People are people. Like you said- you chose to see what was there to see. He WAS being honest to you- that he was a liar and someone not to be trusted.

There are trustworthy people and non trustworthy people. Slaves and masters and switches and vanillas will fuck you over without blinking- stop idealizing.

What you do to reasonably ensure a repeat is to actually look at what you chose not to look at next time. To use good mature judgement, to build on experience, to take it slow and steady, to not make a commitment quickly. This is YOUR choice to make.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to desiresluv)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 9:29:52 AM

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Thank you so much...after reading my questions and your answers..it seems a mute point to even ask. A true and worthy Dom/me or Master will have integrity without a doubt. I appreciate your response..~smiles~

< Message edited by desiresluv -- 7/31/2007 10:11:52 AM >

(in reply to earthycouple)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 9:32:00 AM

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Joined: 6/13/2007
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Lucky..you are right as well...I think I am just discouraged. And impatient..but not willing to make another mistake by not following my head. It may mean not finding a Dom for a long time...but when I do..it will be worth the wait..Thanks so much for your input..

(in reply to desiresluv)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 9:36:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: desiresluv
Thank you so much...after reading my questions and your answers..it seems a mute point to even ask. A true and worthy Dom/me or Master will have integrity without a doubt. I appreciate your response..~smiles~

moot

Stop using the word "true and worthy" Trust me, you will come across plenty of people you consider "true and worthy" that other people will say are total asshole losers. And vice versa.

And even the best masters have some crap parts to them.

You just need someone who works well with you.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to desiresluv)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 10:09:03 AM

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Thank you Lucky...lol..pardon the grammar error..lol..and for the other advice...will do! Thanks again..

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 1:40:49 PM

Posts: 63
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What is this? Kick a slave day?

Why are people so angry?

desiresluv: we would hope people have integrity. Glass half full anyone?

hey and desire - quit apologizing.

(in reply to desiresluv)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 4:22:34 PM

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Joined: 2/19/2007
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Doms, Masters, subs, and slaves don't have special powers. We are just people, nothing more, nothing godlike.

Everyone everywhere will run into (or become) a sorry excuse for a man or woman, or a primo jerkoff or cunt. We all fall into those categories ourselves at times.

Whatever you see with regard to human interaction anywhere else (regardless of the romantic spin BDSM seems to get) is what goes on in the D-M/s world too. We're no different, generally speaking, than people who are interested in motorcycles or astronomy.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Rockwell)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 5:46:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rockwell

What is this? Kick a slave day?

Why are people so angry?

desiresluv: we would hope people have integrity. Glass half full anyone?

hey and desire - quit apologizing.

Actually....we are kicking the idiot dominant who screwed with her.

No body is angry. We are honest and awake to the reality around us.

Hoping one has intergrity doesn't magically make it appear. Glasses half full are great if you aren't looking at said glass through rose colored specs.

And I agree...you needn't apologize for learning.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to Rockwell)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 6:01:21 PM

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

In my opinion its very easy.
And its also very escential that one does in all ways.

One cannot expect it from another if they are not able to do it themselves.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to desiresluv)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 6:19:00 PM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: desiresluv
Thank you so much...after reading my questions and your answers..it seems a mute point to even ask. A true and worthy Dom/me or Master will have integrity without a doubt. I appreciate your response..~smiles~

moot

Stop using the word "true and worthy" Trust me, you will come across plenty of people you consider "true and worthy" that other people will say are total asshole losers. And vice versa.

And even the best masters have some crap parts to them.

You just need someone who works well with you.

Agreed.

I hope that you find someone who works for you though. Just remember that people are people.

Edited because it sent too early.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/31/2007 6:20:32 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 6:32:46 PM

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Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

Any good relatonship should be based on open, honest and respectful communication. With that you build trust. I woud have no problem with my submissive or slave coming to me and respectfully voicing concerns etc. At that point it is my job to do what I can to assure her or reassure her of my committment- or whatever. If my feelings or intentions change in some way for whatever reason - as an honorble person, I would try to communicate that in a sensitive, yet honest fashion - and I would expect the same if the situation were reversed. Sometimes people change, or feelings change over time - but the honorable thing to do is be honest about it and communicate with your partner about whatever is going on. A lie is a lie - and while some lies may be forgivable, the mutual trust suffers - at least for a time, and it is almost like starting over again...and sometimes the hurt caused can not heal even if the lie was forgiven...When that happens one should still do the honorable thing and communicate that sensitively and honesty.

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 6:43:10 PM

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My last post was a reply to desiresluv and not Kinkpupper - sorry about that !

(in reply to Tinman1960)

RE: Is it hard for a Dom/Master to keep His word? - 7/31/2007 8:35:25 PM

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Joined: 2/14/2007
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After being called to my face a few times when I tried to weasel out of a prior promise, I'd like to hope I've gotten better about keeping my word. Only Aqua can tell for sure, though, since I certainly wouldn't trust my report about how trustworthy I am (and does that make me more trustworthy? *ponder*).

In general, though, I've found very few instances in my life experience when I made a promise to someone and didn't follow up on it. There are truthful folk out there... I just think that the internet might not be the best place to meet them. The temptation to misrepresent oneself is very, very attractive online, where you're solely the persona that you portray.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Fuzzy Kitteh

There is no creature more loving than a hungry cat.

Valyraen in ValyraenandAqua

(in reply to desiresluv)

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