R we just fundamentally Libertine?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

R we just fundamentally Libertine?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> R we just fundamentally Libertine?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

R we just fundamentally Libertine? - 8/4/2007 7:03:01 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
Status: offline

I have been a lurker and occasional poster for a bit, in here.

From what I have read, Forums seem to deal primarily with D/s in some form.

D/s ... M/s... Gor
The Power Exchange philosophies, applied.

Yet... "BDSM" does contain those who perhaps, are drawn here for sensation play.

...so what's her point?...

Might this be a fundamental nature of those among us who best identify as "Switch"?

...not that we do not seek serious relationships...

Just that we take a 'goose...gander' (or equivalant for other preferences)
approach to our entertainments...?

_____________________________

Black Water Dragon

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: R we just fundamentally Libertine? - 8/4/2007 9:06:40 PM

Elea

Posts: 20
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Anywhere but here...
Status: offline

Everyone will have a different answer for this, entirely dependant on their personal reasons for percieving themselves as a 'Switch'.

The only experience I have with the situation is of course personal, and in my case I'm labelled thusly because I actually enjoy serving - ideally on my knees, but I do surprisingly well standing over kneeling forms as well.

~Elea

(in reply to kiyari)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: R we just fundamentally Libertine? - 8/4/2007 9:38:49 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Hi kiyari,

I think there's a couple of basic reasons for the term switch. Your question is one of them; sensationalists (so to speak) or what I usually term as fetishists, though I know the term isn't very accurate, without the desire for the power exchange dynamic.

There are, of course, folks who enjoy D/s, but also (depending on the person) enjoy assuming either a dominant or submissive role.

I think goose and gander tends to be a somewhat selfish approach to relationships. In general, what is good for the goose, is not good for the gander. Different people have different needs and desires; requiring those needs to be exactly the same as my own, and only satisfying needs of my partner, if they are needs that I possess, seems to be an unrealistic approach.

Not to say I don't appreciate the mentality that goes into a switch; just simple observations that I don't think it should be equality based, as much as it is equity based.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Elea)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: R we just fundamentally Libertine? - 8/4/2007 10:21:49 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

For me it is simply because I am who I am. I'm very boring in many ways. I don't do something just because it's there to do, or to prove something, or push limits.

I do it because it's what is there to do and works for me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Stephann)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: R we just fundamentally Libertine? - 8/4/2007 11:05:24 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
Status: offline

Well, for me, I know what *I* find to be positive or good or pleasurable or fun or...

I am (much though I would it be otherwise) NOT a mind-reader or sufficient empath
to truly KNOW what my partner's experience is

SO, going on what I know to some degree: my own senses...
and wanting to give my partner a rewarding experience...
from this springs my goose...gander

All with best of intent ;-)

_____________________________

Black Water Dragon

(in reply to Stephann)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: R we just fundamentally Libertine? - 8/4/2007 11:20:56 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

This is where communication becomes critical (something you'll get used to hearing.) I'm not a mind reader, either. I enjoy total power exchange relationships; a slave in my collar doesn't have any 'right' to expect anything. Yet, it's still important to me, to know what she needs, wants, desires, etc. So I ask her. She asks me. It works.

I follow you though; I just thought it worth pointing out that when we focus too heavily on our own sensations, fetishes, and kinks, it's easy to lose sight that our partner may have slightly (or vastly) different needs, et al.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to kiyari)