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I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 5:16:48 AM

BIllCT

Posts: 160
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline

Ever feel like life is rough and your getting no where?
Seeking a female submissive who wants and needs a Dominant in such a way to fullfill her needs and his at the same time is not easy?
Trying to match personalities, kinks, desires, needs, wants and more is not easy to do.

Seeking and not finding seems to be what is happening maybe I am trying too hard or, I am looking in the wrong places here on CM or Elsewhere?

Seeking and not finding, can actually make one depressed!

Post #: 1

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 5:27:45 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Do you go out to groups and attend munches or functions?
If you are relying on online only, you are keeping your field pretty narrow.
From you posts and behaviour, to me, you are trying too hard because you are second guessing and making the standard media hyped assumptions so you are therefore perpetuating the myth in all you 'see'.

Stop 'looking' and start living.

Peace
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 8/6/2007 5:28:19 AM >

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to BIllCT)

Post #: 2

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 5:30:58 AM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Stop 'looking' and start living.

[

great advice, that is how I met my Wife.

on second thought, ignore that advice.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 3

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 5:32:26 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

maybe if you are depressed, as you state in the other thread, you are submissive? lol

and no, I never think life is rough and I'm going nowhere. With or without a man.

< Message edited by came4U -- 8/6/2007 5:35:07 AM >

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 4

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 5:36:14 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Stop 'looking' and start living.

[

great advice, that is how I met my Wife.

on second thought, ignore that advice.

I ain't gonna ask...

Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 5

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 5:42:08 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT

Ever feel like life is rough and your getting no where?
Seeking a female submissive who wants and needs a Dominant in such a way to fullfill her needs and his at the same time is not easy?
Trying to match personalities, kinks, desires, needs, wants and more is not easy to do.

Seeking and not finding seems to be what is happening maybe I am trying too hard or, I am looking in the wrong places here on CM or Elsewhere?

Seeking and not finding, can actually make one depressed!

Well, I have an opinion here, I looked at your profile---I suggest some rework---"serving in all ways sexually and nonsexually"----is pretty broad---and referring to the past two submissves is well probably not in order either---and Im not sure they want their relationship with you put on a bill board as they say----after all people are still people and feelings still exist---and this life offers no more guarantees than it does "out there".

IMHEO

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 8/6/2007 5:43:33 AM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to BIllCT)

Post #: 6

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 5:43:09 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Ok, bucko, listen up.

Being lonely sucks. Everyone knows that. You have two choices, when you're lonely. You can stay at home and drink yourself into a stupor, or you can stop asking inane questions and get out there and start meeting people. It doesn't happen in an hour or a day. It doesn't happen through a chat room or a message board or a dating or personals site. It happens when you join writing groups, workshops, taking dancing lessons, cooking classes, book clubs, join a baseball team, get caught up in butterfly collecting; whatever floats your boat. Whatever YOU like to do, go do it!

And another thing; feeling sorry for yourself in public might seem like you're opening your heart up to that one special Florance Nightengale to come along with the bandages and her toybox, to make your heart feel better. In reality, you're simply exposing yourself to strangers in a way that would make a flasher blush. Dominants put themselves in a position to be protectors, guides, and mentors; asking why nobody is holding your hand doesn't present you as capable of any of these things.

Maybe you're really a nice guy going through a lousy week. Maybe you've done this all your life. Either way, if you don't pull yourself together and get out there and live, the only person who can answer any of your questions regarding misery will be YOU! So go turn off the computer, look in the mirror and ask "What can I do, to make the things I want in this world come true? What's the BEST way to get out there and meet people?" Put that into your daily plans. Every single excuse you put on why you can't means you're going to be going that much longer without.

While you're at it, start exercising twice a day, eat three or more meals, and get in shape. Get a hair cut. Buy some upbeat music to do this to. Clean your house. Grab a couple of books that you think will make you think. Set yourself a bed time. Get your life on a schedual that you can enjoy for at least two weeks, and you'll see a night and day difference.

Seriously, good luck.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 7

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 5:55:52 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Did you ever notice that seeking and not finding can make one feel depressed?

_____________________________

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 8

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 5:58:11 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

applause Stephann for the sound advice ...i couldn't have said it any better than you

it takes time and a little patience, OP

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Stephann)

Post #: 9

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 7:42:57 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

Great advice Stephann. It never ceases to amaze me how people can expect to come online as their only means of meeting someone and when that fails, in a short span of time at that, they get restless and whiny. Thats not going to get you what you want. If one means isn't working for you - try another, very simple. Also learn patience.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 8:16:41 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Fast Reply

He's been on this site since 2004. Who's to say (aside from him) that he's NOT involved with the outside world?

How's about we let him answer that question before jumping down his throat.

And if the answer comes back as "Yeah, I've only looked online" then by all means, I agree with y'all.

I've always, always told my friends that they need to cheer up, live life and not look so damned hard and someone will fall right into their lap.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 11

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 8:39:21 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

I've always, always told my friends that they need to cheer up, live life and not look so damned hard and someone will fall right into their lap.

So many people have said this has been their experience that there must be something to it. i think when you just let go of the "need" you stop sending out silent signals of desperation and naturally become more attractive and appealing to others.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 12

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 8:48:57 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

You are so right. To the OP: I also agree with Stephann, tho. You're not presenting yourself in a very good light...all these questions. I do think that posting on the boards is a good way for others to get to know you, but how about taking a look at some of the other threads and post Your opinion on things?

Work on improving yourself...your mind (by reading), clean the house, redecorate, garden, do a few of the zillion things that life has to offer. And def stop looking so hard. Get out and enjoy life!

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 13

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 9:23:20 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

I've always, always told my friends that they need to cheer up, live life and not look so damned hard and someone will fall right into their lap.

So many people have said this has been their experience that there must be something to it. i think when you just let go of the "need" you stop sending out silent signals of desperation and naturally become more attractive and appealing to others.

It's happened for me on a couple of occassions, and no, you're not going to find Mr/Ms perfect the first time out. I didn't. I believe I have now, and I've gotten engaged. I got out, started enoying life again for what it was, and left the life I was ruining myself in and met JL. On a nilla basis. I talked to him early on about my interest in BDSM and that it would be a decent part of my life and he was cool with it, expressed some interest and we have been blissful ever since. This is the most stable, healthy relationship I've ever had.

And I met him the night I brought my PARENTS out to a piano bar. Go effin figure.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 14

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 9:49:21 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

It's no different finding a submissive than it is finding a mate in life -- it's a rough road. But, as they say, if you wanna win the lottery, you haveta play the game......so keep tryin!

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to BIllCT)

Post #: 15

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 9:59:20 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

it is strange i have found people when i was not looking and when i was looking i found the wrong ones lol so i guess just do for you.. but i have also learned to not fallow the heard. travel to your own rythem of life. while going to munches is great. it is not always the best place or events. you always want to put the odds in your favor..try nilla a relationship worth having is worth more then any treasure that is on this planet.. while swingers and player will tell you not to open your heart.. thats pretty stupid.. true passion comes from the heart..thats difference between success and failure ... so when your looking do not seem desperate..remeber to treat them as people first ds second.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 16

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 10:03:47 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Everyone gets the odd day or two of being disalusioned. Especialy when something looked to have great potential and either doesn't work or You realise You just got played.

If it lasts more than a day or two then You are approaching it with the wrong attitude. Enjoy the boards, enjoy the real life scene... have fun with what is there for its own worth and let the search trundle on quietly in the background. If You focus on the search and nothing else, you'll soon end up giving up because You'll simply loose sight of the goal, loose sight of WHY this is all worth it in the end when You finaly DO find what You seek. The ying to Your Yang.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to BIllCT)

Post #: 17

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 10:16:47 AM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Supply and Demand.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 18

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 10:34:19 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT

Ever feel like life is rough and your getting no where?
Seeking a female submissive who wants and needs a Dominant in such a way to fullfill her needs and his at the same time is not easy?
Trying to match personalities, kinks, desires, needs, wants and more is not easy to do.

Seeking and not finding seems to be what is happening maybe I am trying too hard or, I am looking in the wrong places here on CM or Elsewhere?

Seeking and not finding, can actually make one depressed!

If finding the right partner was easy, matchmakers would never have existed and dating websites wouldn't exist now.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BIllCT)

Post #: 19

RE: I seek and Do not find...... - 8/6/2007 12:34:34 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT

Ever feel like life is rough and your getting no where?
Seeking a female submissive who wants and needs a Dominant in such a way to fullfill her needs and his at the same time is not easy?
Trying to match personalities, kinks, desires, needs, wants and more is not easy to do.

Seeking and not finding seems to be what is happening maybe I am trying too hard or, I am looking in the wrong places here on CM or Elsewhere?

Seeking and not finding, can actually make one depressed!

Best I can do is go all philosophical on you...

Anything worth having is worth waiting for. Sometimes, you have to move a lot of hay to find that needle. The best looking shoe is not necessarily the best-fitting shoe.

How's that?

Sorry, but for all the cliche's above, there is some truth. Yes, it is difficult to find someone who matches up exactly. As has been discussed before on here, the more narrow your search, the fewer people you will find. Broaden the tree of what you will accept a bit and see if it doesn't bear some fruit (could not resist one last metaphor)

(in reply to BIllCT)

Post #: 20

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