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RE: .why. - 8/7/2007 12:31:11 PM   
MistressRouge


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From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

i am sticking to my guns on this one just know from experince...and if you do the percentages a lot of  older lifestyle people will tell you the same.. you might know the motions or the text book knowledge for something in a ds long term relationship with out that real life experince it just is not going to work. that hs been proven


I agree with you sweetie  I have never read a BDSM D/S book in My life, all knowledge, practice and learn all I know from My special ones

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(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: .why. - 8/7/2007 1:04:45 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		they say hindsight is 20/ 20 and that every lesson comes with a price of some sort...

one of the people that i have always admired because of their perseverance and hard work to accomplish things with great odds

Thomas Edison
http://edison.rutgers.edu/bio-long.htm

also check out this link it kind of tells what i am trying to say

http://gailsaltz.ivillage.com/health/2006/11/are_young_marriages_doomed_to.html

it is about maturity and experience when started work on computers i was 14 back then you did not have what they call plug and pray technology in fact the first one i put together was a heathkit 8002 you had bag full of parts and had to read a wiring diagram and know how to solder to a board just the way it was then as time progressed and msdos came out things for the personal computer changed..yes in this way life experience was the best teacher..
you ask most IT people what a diode is or cap or even what the pin 1 side of a ic chip is they will look at you strange.. now while you made a comment about the age related mechanic.. there are people who would disagree
responsibility is key factor a good mechanic is ASE Certified most of them go to special schools. I have friend that works on  Hondas never had any training at all has worked on cars all his life and is one of this shops best mechanics worked  hard on his own and got his ASE Cert  that is referred to as skill when we talk about IQ or passion there is different types of Intellectual discourse.. but there tons of proven examples where older did out place younger

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: .why. - 8/7/2007 1:17:00 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Latex, stop being so pigheaded about this. I don't think anyone is arguing that any part of this is an absolute. What most of us are trying to explain (at least I am ) age does not GUARANTEE anything when it comes to who is better at any given thing!

Yes, there are probably MORE people of an older age that are better at any given task they have been doing for a longer period of time than there are MOST of the younger people that have been doing it for a shorter period of time. That is just the odds, it makes sense. BUT it still does not mean that ALL people that are older are better at any given task than ALL younger people. That is just an assinine statement to make.

Another thing that I have found in any field that has had huge changes in a short amount of time. Sometimes the older people are also not the best simply because they have not stayed current with the changes and do not have the knowledge required. As an example, to go back to the auto mechanic. A guy that was working on the Porsches of 20 years ago would probably be lost under the hood of a 2007 unless he had kept up with the continuing education. If that was the case, I wouldn't let him touch it.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: .why. - 8/7/2007 1:20:54 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

A guy that was working on the Porsches of 20 years ago would probably be lost under the hood of a 2007 unless he had kept up with the continuing education. If that was the case, I wouldn't let him touch it.



Exactly. Someone who has been doing this 50 years probably knows more but it's not a given. If he didn't keep learning, it's quite possible for a person with less years but a greater thirst for knowledge to learn more and experience more.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: .why. - 8/7/2007 1:35:11 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		Sumarry: While i agree giving a starting point if two people at any age start doing something at the same time. it will always be the person that asorbs the knowledge better that willl come out ahead

  • enviroment ( where they are living doing job. people friends  culture)
  • background ( education high school drop out going to collage ) what knowledge they have self tought or text
  • childhood upbringing ( value structure  morals standards those things)
  • problem solving skills ( nilla and D's be able to solve any thing based on the above) how they deal with stress, finical, relationships, responsibilities
  • so could a 20 year old at the same time be just as good as a 50 year old .. like putting numbers in code to write a program the out come will be only how could he would be with the above

take care of your self before you do others

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: .why. - 8/7/2007 1:59:42 PM   
KiandPhoenix


Posts: 205
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline 		“Why do people have to proclaim - 'I have been in the 'lifestyle'”
Because many times people do equate years with experience. Right or wrong as it may be. If they want to be taken seriously by some people they feel they must say I have been in the lifestyle for years. Sounds much better than “I have been doing this for WEEKS now”, or “I have read ALL the Gor novels”. Also if seeking a partner, they may want to say they have experience ass some people don’t like working with someone brand new. Others of us love working with the new people, so it keeps us from messaging them.

“Why do people believe that more years = more knowledge?”
People who have been around awhile have had more opportunity to learn more. Is it always the case? No. Phoenix has years more experience than I do, but I have taken the time to learn more than she has.

“Why do the white knights out there think we poor s-types need saving?”
I am absolutely a “white knight” type. I don’t think you needs saving. I will just save you when you ask me to. . .then I will give you all the pleasure you can handle at the end of my toys.

“Why do some people think that new people need hand holding and cannot ask their own damn questions?”
I don’t believe this personally, but I can guess that it is because many people, when confronted with the massive amount of information on this lifestyle, have no idea where to begin.

“Why do things always happen in threes?”
They don’t. Some people just keep counting until they reach three, look for patterns where there are none, and most just start counting over after three, because they are small minded and can’t count higher without looking at their hands. Just a guess though. Maybe they only have three fingers.

“Why do I think this might end up in P&Rs?”
I don’t know you. I can’t tell you why you might think something.

“why ask why?”
Why is not a silly question ever. It is the most important one. I for one never stop asking the question “why”. I need to know why my sub thinks a specific way, and where those thoughts came from. It helps me explore her. I need to know why to one’s choices in life. I ask why to everything, every minute, or every day. In return for it, according to my partner (current and ex’s) I never make a decision I can not back up with reason. I can out argue 99% of people, because I am not often wrong. Not to say that when an argument is presented that I don’t listen, just that once my view is pointed out with the why behind it, they usually change their minds. To ask why is to think through a decision as far as your mind will allow you to, and without it we would not grow.
~Ki

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: .why. - 8/7/2007 2:04:07 PM   
TankII7871


Posts: 174
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline 		I don't know everything.  LA argued that out of my head years ago.  Are some people better at older age then they were at a younger age?  Hell Yes.  does that mean all older people are better than younger Hell No.  In my early 20's I traveled VA,NC,and SC giving lectures and demos on fire play to people who were old enough to be my parents.  You know what they listened to me.  Why because I knew what I was talking about. (and the burning sword seemed to keep there attention lol)  I agree with the car analogy.  I have a guy that works on my 3 classic mustangs he is Great and he is the only one to work on my Cobra.  But i wont let him touch my Lincoln because the man cant spell computer let alone work on the on-board computer.  For that I have a kid that is about 21.


Eric

I'm not old and wise yet but I hope to be someday

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: .why. - 8/7/2007 2:49:38 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		proof is in the pudding..

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Profile   Post #: 108
RE: .why. - 8/7/2007 6:42:26 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		And I make some great pudding.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: .why. - 8/7/2007 6:47:07 PM   
SleepyBeast


Posts: 122
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

And I make some great pudding.


Then I suggest a pudding cook off, each make a Bread pudding, a Rice pudding, and a Custard, and may the best pudding win.

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Profile   Post #: 110
RE: .why. - 8/9/2007 4:33:44 PM   
MistressRouge


Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SleepyBeast

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

And I make some great pudding.


Then I suggest a pudding cook off, each make a Bread pudding, a Rice pudding, and a Custard, and may the best pudding win.


What about a nice crispy yorkshire pudding

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Profile   Post #: 111
RE: .why. - 8/9/2007 4:40:19 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I never really cared that much how experienced someone was - after I'd had my inital experiences with my very first BDSM play partner.

My ex-Dominant (with whom I was in a LTR) wasn't that experienced - he had a few years, but not much more real-life experience than I did, really (he said five. I don't know if that is "true" or not, and I didn't care at the time, really).

His attuitude and manner, and willingness to expand his klnowledge about some BDSM things and D/s made a big difference to me, in making the realtionship work (for as long as it did). I personally think that is more important than years of BDSM experience.

For all I know any  person claiming "years of experience" has only one BDSM activity they are proficient at - say, whipping, or flogging. That's why it just doesn't tell me much, really.

How much do they know? How much have they practiced BDSM in real life? Those are more pertinent questions, actually. But even then - to me, experience isn't all that important. Safety is, but experience isn't, really.

I think if two people "click", then they can learn how to do almost anything as time goes on. Together.

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/9/2007 4:43:47 PM >

_____________________________

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That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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Profile   Post #: 112
RE: .why. - 8/9/2007 5:10:12 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressRouge

quote:

ORIGINAL: SleepyBeast

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

And I make some great pudding.


Then I suggest a pudding cook off, each make a Bread pudding, a Rice pudding, and a Custard, and may the best pudding win.


What about a nice crispy yorkshire pudding


that sounds good

(in reply to MistressRouge)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: .why. - 8/12/2007 11:31:12 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I never really cared that much how experienced someone was - after I'd had my inital experiences with my very first BDSM play partner.

My ex-Dominant (with whom I was in a LTR) wasn't that experienced - he had a few years, but not much more real-life experience than I did, really (he said five. I don't know if that is "true" or not, and I didn't care at the time, really).

His attuitude and manner, and willingness to expand his klnowledge about some BDSM things and D/s made a big difference to me, in making the realtionship work (for as long as it did). I personally think that is more important than years of BDSM experience.

For all I know any  person claiming "years of experience" has only one BDSM activity they are proficient at - say, whipping, or flogging. That's why it just doesn't tell me much, really.

How much do they know? How much have they practiced BDSM in real life? Those are more pertinent questions, actually. But even then - to me, experience isn't all that important. Safety is, but experience isn't, really.

I think if two people "click", then they can learn how to do almost anything as time goes on. Together.


I almost missed this. Yes, good points here, Susan. What if a total unfeeling, imbecile could pefectly flog the hell out of you, would you think he was the end-all Dom? Choose your activity if flogging is not it. D/s and M/s is so much more than a simple BDSM activity.

I don't want to pick on a particular fetish because I like to play with most everything, but some practitioners can become totally snobbish because they can tie a certain knot or do a fancy flogging pattern. Isn't someone who can understand her desire for submission in depth and use this to take control of her in a way that leaves her knowing she is helpless, much more powerful?

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(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: .why. - 8/12/2007 11:59:19 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Ex-Steel: Great point. If I ever found a Dom who was even experienced at everything - every BDSM activity I'd ever wanted to experience, but He was a total un-feeling, heartless clod, then I'd run. There has to be some maturity there, and also some chemistry, IMO, to make things truly work.

- Susan 

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: .why. - 8/12/2007 12:29:00 PM   
rollinonward05


Posts: 78
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Why do the white knights out there think we poor s-types need saving?


Because there are so many s types that give that impression right away. Or think that if they need to be saved they will get all they want . It is their way of manipulating the Dominant.
Then again there are quite a few Ds out there that fall right into this kind of trap OR need to be the knight in shining armor to every s type with a sob story to tell. imo only.

Edited because I should of worded it differently :)


< Message edited by rollinonward05 -- 8/12/2007 12:45:22 PM >

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 116
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