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Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 2:36:18 PM   
naughtinicki


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		A little background first - My Master and I are married to different partners and although W/we play on a fairly regular basis ( 2/3 time a week), it is often for only a few hours at a time.

This past week has been an experience that is very different in that W/we went away from Mon-Sat with some other BDSM friends to some holiday cottages well away from our home.

This allowed me to be in as much of a TPE than I have ever had before in my journey of submission. I was able to do things that I have only dreamed about or read about in novels.

This every day........ and most of the nights is something that I will never forget.

But I am now home....... and back to reality......... and I find myself on the brink of tears nigh on constantly. The feeling of loss I feel is like nothing I have ever felt before. Hiding it from my family is becoming increasingly hard.

Can I ask.......... Have others felt like this and does it happen often........

I have to admit still though that I would not take back a single moment of the past week.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 4:12:46 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		Oh yes, sub drop happens to a lot of us when we have some real intense play. You are not alone.

I know the feeling of loss, of tears...and even though I tell myself everything is fine, it doesn't feel that way. But, knowing what causes it makes it easier for me to handle when it does happen.

You have to imagine all the endorphins and adrenaline that were coursing through your system, and now they are leaving...so you are experiencing a drug withdrawal...At least that's how I have had it explained to me.

Be gentle and kind to yourself...treat yourself to things that soothe you...I hear chocolate helps a lot of people...and hugs...get lots of hugs and cuddles from your partner.

In time most of us learn to recognize the symptoms and to prepare for them.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to naughtinicki)
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RE: Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 4:16:30 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		There have been several threads on subdrop. (And please, whoever it was last time, please don't remind me that threads are recycled all the time. I'm saying this so the OP can FIND THE OTHER THREADS.)

I have no idea what causes subdrop, but virtually every sub I have ever had a relationship with has experienced it, sometimes quite intensely. The consensus of the discussion last time was that part of it had to be psychological, even if part of it is physiological. I think that makes it tough to combat. If it were ONLY physiological, you might be able to find some kind of remedy for it. But it's more likely that you're going to have to battle different kinds of causes.

Lam

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
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RE: Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 4:57:49 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I have no idea what causes subdrop


*attempts a female version of LaM*

Isn't that like when, ya drop the sub cos you haven't tied her up tight enought?

*twirls her hair*

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 5:01:24 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I THOGUHT IT WAS LIKE WHEN THE SUB DROPS BECUASE YOUV'E WHIPED HER FOR SO LONG

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 5:15:39 PM   
esclava


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/1/2004
Status: offline 		i would describe it as separation anxiety. it is very difficult to go through that range of emotions and then have that feeling of security discontinued abruptly...

in time i think you feeling will lessen a bit as you get used to it.

esclava

_____________________________

I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 5:21:25 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Just like subspace, sub drop is different for everyone and it takes awhile to get used to. Over time you will know when to expect it and how to endure it better.

For now, do something nice for yourself, try and keep stress to a minimum, and stay connected.

(in reply to esclava)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 8:43:03 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		Are sub drops a new submissive candy?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 8:47:30 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		So a sub drop is like getting dumped in a vanilla relationship?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 9:48:46 PM   
zaynab


Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		i have to live with my Dom, i could never be without him... ever.....

(in reply to naughtinicki)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sub Drop - 7/3/2005 11:10:15 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

There have been several threads on subdrop.


I had started a thread some time ago on this topic and got some great feedback. The name of the thread was "Real remedies for subbie flu?"

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sub Drop - 7/4/2005 1:50:56 AM   
wednesday


Posts: 93
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Your seratonin levels are going to drop. That's natural. I get it a lot. The best thing for ME (mind you, everyone is different) is to do things that bring up my seratonin/endorphin levels. Exercise, try to find things that make me laugh, get plenty of sleep... just trying to balance out.

(in reply to naughtinicki)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sub Drop - 7/4/2005 10:08:11 AM   
naughtinicki


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you all for your kind advice

_____________________________

When the smile on His lips matches the smile in His eyes, I know my days work is done.

(in reply to wednesday)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sub Drop - 7/5/2005 4:33:38 PM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		There are definitely some good tips on this topic, both on this thread and the one that erin mentioned and a few others. One tip I myself tried after reading it on these boards was exercise, and knowing the reason it helps was good for me as well, because it made sense. Doing exercise the day or two days after intense play or even just a weekend away like you had seems to help the drop happen more slowly and easily. For me, it is typically 48 hours after intense play that it will hit me HARD. So for me, I did find that working out at least once in there makes it an easier transition.

Knowing what the problem was also helps me deal with it. In other words, knowing there is a legitimate reason for what I'm feeling and more importantly, that it will ease and go away with time, that is something I remind myself of often when I experience sub drop.

I also cannot stress being good to yourself as well. I have a "spa basket" and I treat myself to a spa experience in my own home (luckily I have a whirlpool, that helps) and give myself some alone time to just pamper. Once I also went for a manicure and pedicure and even that bit of pampering helped.

Lastly, talk to your Dom or your Master. For me, even hearing my Master's voice will help and telling him how I feel helps even more and when I do, he will find a way to spend some time with me to provide some reassurance and just a little quality time together.

Blessed be,
harmony

(in reply to naughtinicki)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sub Drop - 7/8/2005 8:08:22 PM   
magiqnapa


Posts: 31
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtinicki


This every day........ and most of the nights is something that I will never forget.

But I am now home....... and back to reality......... and I find myself on the brink of tears nigh on constantly. The feeling of loss I feel is like nothing I have ever felt before. Hiding it from my family is becoming increasingly hard.

Can I ask.......... Have others felt like this and does it happen often........

I have to admit still though that I would not take back a single moment of the past week.









Honey I know.
I am the absolute worst with Sub-drop. I am an Alpha-Sub (Sub to only my Sir....actually, I am more like a slave now) so I only have my Sir to submit to where some have more than one. We both have very busy lives, and he also has another very beautiful young sub he has been with for some time, where I am very green at this (which is what he likes about me...). When I have his collar on in training, I am all his. And he is all mine I think to a certain extent.....but I get sad when he or I am getting ready to go. We haven't even left each other yet, and i am already in Sub-drop. I will miss the constant attention, both physical and verbal, my endorphins go back to normal, and my LIFE goes back to normal. The only way I can get through it is to re-read the list of "protocol" he has given me (my slave rules), try to rememorize them, make sure I am following his daily rituals (ie: his dress code, no using the furniture while relaxing, calling others sir or ma'am, writing my thoughts in my journal on collarme so he can read them to see what i am thinking, making up poetry about the situations/feelings I am having) and looking forward to the next time he has time for my training, what he may do to me, and making sure I am bringing 100% dedication to the table when we are together. My Sir has said I can call him at any time of the day or night to talk. So, see if you have that comunication with your Sir, if not, running and writing help me pass the time until I can see him again. Take care....message me if you'd like to talk....

(in reply to naughtinicki)
Profile   Post #: 15
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