When to back off? --- Morning Brats

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When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 10:43:53 AM

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In mt 24/7 D/S dynamic life is perfect. If I want a cup of coffee boom there it is. Need a back rub boom there it is. Sure I have to devote 100% of my free time in attention and managment but for the most part life is good. Last night I cuddled up to my fucktoy gave her a big O and then went to sleep peacfully. At the time I didnt need any kind of satisfaction I just wanted to hear her O and feel the death grip of those hips while snuggled into a soft set of buns and then damn did I wake up to a brat this morning. This happens every time I get her off its like insta brat in the morning... I get so frustrated I have to compleatly restrain myself in fear that I will lose control of my own emotions and actually hurt her. Does anyone else run into this problem and if so how do you deal with it. She is the perfect pet as long as shes horny as soon as she gets off its bratty for about three days! It drives me nuts!

RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 10:50:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER
This happens every time I get her off its like insta brat in the morning... I get so frustrated I have to compleatly restrain myself in fear that I will lose control of my own emotions and actually hurt her.

Sounds like you have more issues then a bratty sub if you are afraid of hurting her and loosing control. Not sure what to tell you. i am sure she senses you don't have a good handle on things and shes just taking advantage of you. Don't allow it.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 10:50:25 AM

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Just a question but........have you discussed this with her? Attempted to actually deal with the issue? How do you deal with any other problems that arise?

I guess with the extremely limited info you've given the options for "dealing" are pretty ellusive. I cannot imagine you have never had any other behaviour issues. Or that this one is not handled in a similar manner....

colour me confused

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/14/2007 10:51:00 AM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 10:52:24 AM

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Well one tactic would be to make her masturbate and get herself off every night so she has no build up or excuse for her behavior for awhile.

The other of course is directly talk to her and explain how her behavior is wrong and exactly what behavior you do expect and exactly what the consequences will be if this does not happen.

Then follow up with those consequences as necessary.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:07:36 AM

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Believe it or not I dont have that many behavioral issues with her. When I do it can usually be corrected very quickly with only a sentence or two. With the more complex problems we actually have a discussion about it however I dont really think she is conciouse about this behavior... I honestly dont believe it is something she is aware of and although I of course have mentioned it and she can see it then I truly dont believe she knows its going on. I guess a way to describe it is that sometimes when a woman is about to start she becomes a bitch... she does not try to be a bitch or is even a aware of it just starts happening and then a few days they know why (or at least my sub is like that). This is the same kind of thing... its like she has an orgasm and then next day she has this big ego that came with it... by the time she heads off the attitude... she has allready crossed the line big time.... way big time. As far as my sense of feeling as though I am going to loose control then yes she is hitting my weak spots and I relise there is the posibility of an overly agresive response. I dont feel that feeling this way makes me a bad person just a responsible one in the way that I know when I am aproaching my limit and when I have to time out over frustrations..... including the frustration of actually allowing myself to get frustrated if that makes any sense.

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:07:57 AM

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i am sorry people seem to miss the point of a bratty sub or charmed spirit why is it people want to kill wonderful things. no wonder so many live on prozac mountain.. I sugest you find another evendently you do not understand the beauty that you have been given..

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:08:41 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER

Believe it or not I dont have that many behavioral issues with her. When I do it can usually be corrected very quickly with only a sentence or two. With the more complex problems we actually have a discussion about it however I dont really think she is conciouse about this behavior... I honestly dont believe it is something she is aware of and although I of course have mentioned it and she can see it then I truly dont believe she knows its going on. I guess a way to describe it is that sometimes when a woman is about to start she becomes a bitch... she does not try to be a bitch or is even a aware of it just starts happening and then a few days they know why (or at least my sub is like that). This is the same kind of thing... its like she has an orgasm and then next day she has this big ego that came with it... by the time she heads off the attitude... she has allready crossed the line big time.... way big time. As far as my sense of feeling as though I am going to loose control then yes she is hitting my weak spots and I relise there is the posibility of an overly agresive response. I dont feel that feeling this way makes me a bad person just a responsible one in the way that I know when I am aproaching my limit and when I have to time out over frustrations..... including the frustration of actually allowing myself to get frustrated if that makes any sense.

The main problem is that she actually leaves the dynamic or rebels against it for the day... but just for the day.

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:16:11 AM

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She might be hyperactive. I tend to get like that after I have a good orgasm, and it sometimes lasts for days afterwards.

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:16:45 AM

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I'm no Master but what if you let her to the brink of the big O and let her fall back a lil bit, then back to almost and make her work for it a bit?

That would be a good time, during the orgasm control maybe to get into her head to listen to you, via lectures, calmly telling her that NO you will not tolerate that bratty turn-offish behaviour and NO you will cum when I say so kinda thing. Sure, she will feel bad, guilty and beg. awe. lol

Maybe this slow and gradual (kind, yet cruel) manipulation will ease in the frequency of her fits to disobey during non-contact moments?

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:21:57 AM

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Did you ever consider that the answer is in your own post?

You say she is your fucktoy. That makes her the object/subject of YOUR lust and YOUR pleasures. Instead, you proceed to pleasure her, making her cum, but deny her purpose - pleasuring YOU and knowing that she gave you an incredible orgasm and in return, received you cum.

Ever discuss with her if she feels resentful for being used out of context and not for her intended purpose?

< Message edited by Dom87110 -- 8/14/2007 11:22:53 AM >

_____________________________

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

That's not what I meant by "where the sun don't shine". But it looks good there, too.

Me

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:22:20 AM

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There's one solution of forcing her to be silent for two hours after she wakes up every day. That will force her to rein it in and focus on what's going on. Not the ideal solution you want, but it can be a first step.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:25:43 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tannie

She might be hyperactive. I tend to get like that after I have a good orgasm, and it sometimes lasts for days afterwards.

Ah... never thought of that angle... you might be on to something .... she acts like this marry poppins giddy at the same time if you know what I mean

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:31:28 AM

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<needs someone to do what LA said, except for 23hr/day LOL.

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:31:40 AM

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Perhaps it's that you give her attention (orgasm), she wants more attention (bratty behavior, and then she refinds her place (in the next day or three - not sure since you give two different time references in your posts).

Talk to her, figure out if your goals are compatible, and determine if you can work on them together. If not ... well ... put up with the brattiness as long as you can.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:46:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dom87110

Did you ever consider that the answer is in your own post?

You say she is your fucktoy. That makes her the object/subject of YOUR lust and YOUR pleasures. Instead, you proceed to pleasure her, making her cum, but deny her purpose - pleasuring YOU and knowing that she gave you an incredible orgasm and in return, received you cum.

Ever discuss with her if she feels resentful for being used out of context and not for her intended purpose?

She relises that I am odd in the sense that sometimes my pleasure is simply enjoing the feeling of her pleasure and that sometimes I want to see her cum without me cumming.... its extended from an oral fetish I have.... I am satisfied often by just eating a woman and nothing more or just getting a woman off and nothing more. Its weird but it actually makes for a lot of fun and a lot less presure.

(in reply to Dom87110)

RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:49:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

There's one solution of forcing her to be silent for two hours after she wakes up every day. That will force her to rein it in and focus on what's going on. Not the ideal solution you want, but it can be a first step.

Good idea! Forcing her to calm herself down and think things through would combat a lot of the problem without me having to actually address the behavior itself which seems to just cause a small control struggle.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:50:47 AM

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Talk talk talk!

Beyond that, if she's becoming bratty because she's leaving the dynamic, you might want to have a set regime for those mornings when she exhibits such behavior. A set of chores or tasks that help remind her of why she has chosen to be your girl, and why she enjoys it, or, whatever pushes her buttons to help her keep that headspace. I hate the phrase 'put her in her place' but, helping her remain inside a happy mindset instead of losing her feel of the dynamic, might be good.

(in reply to slaveish)

RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:51:47 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER

She relises that I am odd in the sense that sometimes my pleasure is simply enjoing the feeling of her pleasure and that sometimes I want to see her cum without me cumming.... its extended from an oral fetish I have.... I am satisfied often by just eating a woman and nothing more or just getting a woman off and nothing more.

You say that she does realize. But realization does not necessarily imply acceptance or understanding. So she could still feel unfulfilled while realizing your motivation and needs.

What confuses me is that you proudly refer to her as your "fucktoy" - yet you now state that you often find satisfaction in just performing oral sex on her...maybe, again, another source of her frustration. Perhaps she would rather feel like your fucktoy than your chewtoy?

_____________________________

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

That's not what I meant by "where the sun don't shine". But it looks good there, too.

Me

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:52:32 AM

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I see this as a training issue more than anything. Yeah, this isn't the fun side of training but it sounds like it needs to be done. You need to talk with her about the issue. And I don't just mean mention it. You need to sit her down and discuss what you feel she does, what you feel it does to the relationship, your feelings about it AND her feelings about it. While it is all great to call your partner a fuck toy, the reality is that you're dealing with a human being. You need to open a dialog. Then, the next time she does the behaviour, it is time to sit down and talk about it again. This isn't something to save up for some other time. You correct behaviour as it happens. You need to not get angry about it. You need to solve it. Understand that this is probably something like sub drop.. aka hormones. I especially think that because you compared her behaivour to premenstrual. If it is hormones, she isn't being bad or bratty. She may need extra help to achieve her submissive headspace at this time. Keep in mind the best way to solve something like sub drop is coddling from the person who caused the drop... You may find that some special cuddling and appreciation the next morning, coupled with daily rituals may even things out a bit. Hey, it's worth a try....

Also, you need to get therapy or such to help you with your anger issues. The fact you ever worry about hurting her is not normal. It is a positive thing that you're aware of it without acting on it, but some help could teach you ways to channel your anger more positively.

< Message edited by BeachMystress -- 8/14/2007 11:54:11 AM >

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RE: When to back off? --- Morning Brats - 8/14/2007 11:53:08 AM

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i can be bratty, Master's solution to bratty girls is to send them on their way and restrict communication for a while. this was stated before the problem arised. i have not been bratty. i behave even when i want to put my fist through a wall. i just take a deep breath and talk about it. i dont get in trouble for my feelings i would get in trouble if i acted on them.
edited to add : i made it to perverted. and if my pics were back you would see it is so true

< Message edited by favesclava -- 8/14/2007 12:00:13 PM >

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

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