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Bobkgin -> "Love Reign O'er Me" (8/31/2007 3:44:17 PM)
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That's the title off a track from The Who's "Quadrophenia" album.
This is an essay on how Love and Selflessness rule my paradigm for a Master/slave relationship.
Thus:
"Love Reign O'er Me"
It is well understood that a slave serves a master's needs.
And there are those who view this as an act of selflessness on the part of the slave, for she has surrendered what the rest of the world values: freedom.
And others who see this as selfish, in that she wants what she has with her master.
When I look at this, I consider what I would have to feel and need to be willing to give up -my- freedom so that I may give all of myself to love another.
And I am staggered by the gift of Love a slave is for me.
Because quite honestly, I can't do that.
In this sense, I as her master feel indebted to her, for her gift is more than I can give.
And thus it is my responsibility to give her the best I have, always.
On the one hand, I must receive her gift in total, to honour her love for me, to trust her to give this gift to one whom she believes deserving of it, to respect her as she is and for whom she wishes to be.
I must be the master she needs to fulfill her potential and to become all she wishes to be.
On the other, I must consider her my superior, for in matters of Love and Trust and Respect she is capable of so much more than I.
She surrenders herself utterly where I cannot.
Thus, her well-being is more important than mine.
Her life, more valid than mine.
As she lives to serve me, so I live to serve her.
Now, some here thought it odd that during my first bondage experience I took advantage of my lady being tied up to perform cunnilingus for an hour.
I see nothing odd about it.
Just as it is my perogative to give pain, so too is it my perogative to give pleasure.
Till that point I'd never had the opportunity to indulge my curiosity regarding a woman's ability to orgasm repeatedly, and I wanted to know what she would be like after an hour of it.
And I am rather good at cunnilingus.
I was delighted with the results, and so was my lady.
A master need not only give pain.
A master can give pleasure too.
And I find that a wonderful way of expressing my love for her.
There have been some who said that love is a great way for a slave to manipulate a master.
But I disagree.
There are playful attempts to manipulate, transparent and easily handled.
And then there are serious attempts.
But they too are transparent.
Simply put, no slave would attempt it, and anyone who does is declaring she is no longer content to be a slave, or never was to begin with.
And that would inevitably lead to the end of a relationship.
For love would expect of me that I set her free, to be what she chooses and to find what she seeks.
No one reaches that point with me without knowing that is their decision to make.
For it is not the kinks, which are specifically selected for her needs and abilities after a period of exploring a variety of activities, to be refreshed as needed.
It is difficult to grow up in a selfish society and not find remnants of selfishness clinging to us.
Selflessness is a process, not a magical transformation.
It is a process of learning to want only what is good for the other.
And it was about here when I was musing over this the first time, many many years ago, that I realized that I as a master was in my way as selfless as she was in her way.
For I was giving up the freedom from responsibility for her so that I might give to her what she needs to fulfill her potential in this life.
She needs to be a responsible slave, and thus needs a responsible master.
I need to be that responsible master, so that she may be what she needs to be.
I am the fulfillment of her needs as she is the fullfilment of mine, for each of us holds the key to unlock the other's potential.
So my paradigm for the perfect master/slave relationship is one where both the master and the slave pursue their selfless love for one another, exploring the potential in each other and seeking the ultimate expression of themselves and their love through their relationship as master and slave.
Slaves need love too.
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