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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 8:43:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Shrugs,I like to have the freedom to turn it off and rest. I feel like the slave otherwise.

It probably boils down to different styles for different people.

For us, there isn't anything to turn off. Valyraen is still Valyraen and I'm still Aqua. Our relationship really isn't fundamentally different than it was when we first got together in a "vanilla" relationship. He leads, I follow is the simplest way of putting it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RRafe)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 8:44:02 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

Do you not think though that 24/7 if independent and not working would be physically and emotionally exhausting?

I meant that in the sense of two people, butlers, maids, no free time for malls, no girls night out, no computers... face to face and constant 24/7, where one party leads on a constant basis, the other follows. The only thing even close to that in reality, is prison.

The problem is you are looking at 24/7 based on fantasy of what a an M/s or D/s pair do.
There are a couple basic approaches:

1. You design the dynamic based on what you have read or thought about that is "Hot" and turns you on or some preconcieved notion of what the dynamic is "Supposed to be", and then you cram that into the real world, and adjust the dynamic when absolutely nessisary (Seems to be the viewpoint you are comming from)

2. You design the dynamic based on what works in the real world and push the edges of what you can do from the inside out.
(More the viewpoint that is being tossed back to you from a few others here)

My slave has been my slave for 8 years or so and has had very few actual days off, there have though been days when I have required very little of her beyond the obligations of being a mother to her children, or rest and repair work on herself.
Being on a rest and repair duty is still a duty to me, she's still doing what I directed her to do.
There have certainly also been days when her duty to me is to go out and have some fun.
It's a matter of perspective, and a matter of how you manage a relationship that is going to be on 24/7.

A couple of other examples besides prison where the power structure is always on:
Military
Monestaries/ Convents
Boarding Schools (With the exception of summer breaks) When the dynamic shifts but yet the student almost always remains under someone elses control ie parents.
Homes with children, the child is under the authority of the parent 24/7 for 18 years.

Of these the Monestary/Convent is likely the closest thing to consensual slavery that I can think of.

(in reply to came4U)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 8:44:19 AM

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Joined: 8/19/2007
From: Oregon
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I understand that. It's just frustrating sometimes....like with the term "true slave/true submissive". That is one that i will never like.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 8:46:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomN8USlave

There really can be no "set" rules except for safe, sane, consentual.

Why is this particular "set rule" set apart as acceptable? Assuming this is an intrinsic part of every dynamic represented here would be inaccurate and possibly foolish.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to DomN8USlave)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 8:49:05 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
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From: Chicago, IL
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So firstly what is your definition of 24/7?
24/7/365 (or 366 during leap year) with someone

Secondly do you think it really is possible to live the dynamics 24/7?
well, i wish i could however i have UMs to take to and from school, a life in the radio/media biz, and other activities/interests that don't involve D/s dynamic. i can't dress in my leather corset and heels with the UMs in plain sight in public - please let's get real ...there's a time and place for that and it's certainly not walking towards a private school.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 8:55:11 AM

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From: London, Ontario
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I see 24/7 (bdsm) compared/like a store that is open 24/7. They cannot close because the cashier needs a break and she locks up and people await outside to purchase their stuff on the go. Mopping also, must be done while the store is open, washing one aisle at a time and posting 'wet floor' signs at periodic areas.

She is stuck there. Her whole duty is to be available and do the work of the store and only the store. She can't just call her friends on her cell while working, chew bubblegum and ignore customers while listening to her headphones.

I see nothing romantic about 24/7 as you say I do. Reading about it? anyone can read or write about it. Not the same as living it. In my opinion it is a description of constant, unyeilding D/s, without breaks, without down-time. It is a different description to everyone., always will be.

edit: even the military gives leave eventually or the person would obviously be insane. Prison on the other hand, they are even being watched while their spouses, um's visit. Now THAT is 24/7. The authority is a constant, even if just via environment.

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/3/2007 8:57:50 AM >

(in reply to dollylima)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:00:30 AM

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From: Austin Texas
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This is a confusing thread from my view. Reading some of these posts I see that a lot compartmentalize their world into vanilla life and WIITWD life but for me it is all just one life.

I don't need breaks from life (not excluding vacations lol) and I don't need breaks from being a submissive woman. It is just who I am.

OP for me 24/7 means that 24/7 I belong to him. If I am at the grocery store I still belong to him. At work I would still belong to him.

I don't understand how some seperate this all!

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to came4U)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:02:08 AM

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24/7.....I absolutly hate the term...but I do believe it exists...more often than most people realize.

24/7 does not mean 24/7 naked in chains, kneeling. 24/7 means you belong to someone always. Sure I get up at 5am and feed cattle and the younguns. I drive UMs to school and the doctor and go to the grocery store and walmart. If work is going well and I have a current job going on I may have to tell other people what to do...but just because I am shopping or driving doesnt mean at that moment I dont belong to him! Is your marriage temporarily over if you go to a football game with some friends??

24/7 doesnt have to mean you live with someone, it just means every moment of everyday you belong to that person. Just because you are 3 states away or even an entire country, if every single one of your thoughts and actions is a service to that person, then you are 24/7....no one lives a 24/7 scene....sorry, just physically impossible....but a marriage doesnt end just because you have to stop having sex long enough to eat or sleep....neither does a D/s relationship..........

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to came4U)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:02:33 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I see 24/7 (bdsm) compared/like a store that is open 24/7. They cannot close because the cashier needs a break and she locks up and people await outside to purchase their stuff on the go. Mopping also, must be done while the store is open, washing one aisle at a time and posting 'wet floor' signs at periodic areas.

She is stuck there. Her whole duty is to be available and do the work of the store and only the store. She can't just call her friends on her cell while working, chew bubblegum and ignore customers while listening to her headphones.

The duty of an employee is laid out by the employer, as is the duty of a slave by her master.

My duties never end. My duties (currently) to graduate from college, to keep a clean house, to maintain a healthy mind and to pursue that which makes me happy - as long it does not effect our relationship - and to serve him.

To help me keep a healthy and stable mental state, I am under orders to maintain good and healthy relationships with friends and family. I am to visit them, to have friends over and go to their houses.

To pursue my dreams I paint and I attend martial arts classes. He even cancels his plans to attend my belt testings to that he can show his support of the things that make me happy. I know the day my artwork is displayed in a gallery will be a proud day for him as well as me.

A wife does not stop being a wife because she goes on a weekend vacation with her friends. I do not play a role of submissive, slave or kitten. I simply am submissive to him. The only thing that will stop that is our relationship failing or my death. Even his death would not stop my submission because I would mourn, take time for myself and continue to live my life. That is what he wants should anything happen to him.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/3/2007 9:03:21 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:04:07 AM

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From: Oregon
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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

I don't need breaks from life (not excluding vacations lol) and I don't need breaks from being a submissive woman. It is just who I am.

OP for me 24/7 means that 24/7 I belong to him. If I am at the grocery store I still belong to him. At work I would still belong to him. I totally agree with this statement!

_____________________________

Collared on October 22nd, 2000 by DomN8U2007
Married on May 8th, 2001

(in reply to camille65)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:05:03 AM

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From: London, Ontario
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I have had 24/7. His control of the telephone, vehicles, my clothing, my food, times I went out, etc etc.

Thus, my reasoning to never go back to that because to 'me' it seems like prison. Hope that clarifies how we all review the term with different personal meanings.

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:06:20 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Just because you are not with your child 24/7 hours a day - doesn't make you less of a parent. You are still a mum or a dad. BDSM relationships are no different. Being in prison is completely different because there is no consent so it is not a good analagy. You are seperating life from BDSM - if submissive to one person is what you are - then you do not put your life into tiny little compartments. You can be submissive, be a father, be an accountant, be a paramedic - be all these things in life - and its just life.

Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to came4U)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:09:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I have had 24/7. His control of the telephone, vehicles, my clothing, my food, times I went out, etc etc.

Thus, my reasoning to never go back to that because to 'me' it seems like prison. Hope that clarifies how we all review the term with different personal meanings.

Again, there are different ways of doing 24/7.

Valyraen has no interest in mirco-managing me. I did just fine on my own before him and if life takes him from me, I'll do just fine once I get back on my feet. While he's at work he doesn't care where I go or what I do, as long as I'm not doing drugs, driving drunk or having sex with others without permission. Which I'm not inclined to do anyway!

He doesn't care what I wear 9 times out of 10, as long as I don't look like a slut. He doesn't care what I eat as long as I continue to avoid high-sodium foods on my own. As long as his laundry gets done, there is food in the fridge and the pantry, the house is clean and I look presentable... it's really up to me how it gets done and when I want to do it.

Clearly the way you tried didn't agree with you. I'm just trying to make the point that not all 24/7 relationships work that way.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/3/2007 9:10:37 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to came4U)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:13:22 AM

RRafe

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Low maintanence can be a good thing. My break off point in the past came when I was putting in more work to keep someone just functional-than was getting done.

Sounds like your guy found someone competent (which is rare) -keep it up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I have had 24/7. His control of the telephone, vehicles, my clothing, my food, times I went out, etc etc.

Thus, my reasoning to never go back to that because to 'me' it seems like prison. Hope that clarifies how we all review the term with different personal meanings.

Again, there are different ways of doing 24/7.

Valyraen has no interest in mirco-managing me. I did just fine on my own before him and if life takes him from me, I'll do just fine once I get back on my feet. While he's at work he doesn't care where I go or what I do, as long as I'm not doing drugs, driving drunk or having sex with others without permission. Which I'm not inclined to do anyway!

He doesn't care what I wear 9 times out of 10, as long as I don't look like a slut. He doesn't care what I eat as long as I continue to avoid high-sodium foods on my own. As long as his laundry gets done, there is food in the fridge and the pantry, the house is clean and I look presentable... it's really up to me how it gets done and when I want to do it.

Clearly the way you tried didn't agree with you. I'm just trying to make the point that not all 24/7 relationships work that way.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:14:14 AM

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From: London, Ontario
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If and when your lil um's are out of sight, it is because someone else is in charge of them for a temporary period (hopefully and obviously). You are still the parent yes, but another would and might parent them differently.

Prison is consentual. You give consent to live in the very society that you broke the law in to begin with (not YOU personally haha).

Yes, you can be a sub or a dominant (father, teacher, corporation head) but 'to me' the bdsm term itself implies a 'stricter' enforcement of rules etc. It is the way I read the term personally. No more, no less. Grrr hard to explain.

ok, to me, 24/7 means it is never 'shut off', (non-sexually speaking) even in a vanilla or home setting. It is too much for my brain right now to even consider thinking about a man so much that he envelopes my life as such.

oo I just noticed this, sorry!

quote:

Valyraen has no interest in mirco-managing me.

it wasn't micro-management, it was full-scale HOH law lol. And no, I would never go back to something similar. I have gained far more skills being single and taking care of myself (physically, emotionally, education) to go back to something so harsh (which was eat, sleep and breathe dominance, no breaks, no time out, not even allowed to read a book). Pure slavery, is how I view 24/7. And I am sorry if I offended others by unintentionally viewing it as 'disabling' for a gal in that position. If you are happy at and in your situation, I salute your sucessful happiness.

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/3/2007 9:23:54 AM >

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:15:28 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

So firstly what is your definition of 24/7?

I'm available 24 hours a day, every day for his use. He doesn't always choose to use me, but that doesn't stop me from being available.

quote:

Secondly do you think it really is possible to live the dynamics 24/7?

Since I live it, of course I think it's possible! ::laughs:: Let's say it's 3:38 AM and we're both sound asleep. Himself wakes up, then wakes me up and says to fetch him a snack. You don't really think I tell him to fetch it himself, do ya? Obviously, I can't anticipate that he's going to want a snack at 3:38 AM but he doesn't require my service to be strictly anticipatory, commands are just as good and are always follwed and that may happen any time of the day or night. If I happen to be at the store or something, it might even happen via cell phone.

quote:

And if you do live this 24/7, how do you manage it?

I'm not, exactly, sure what you mean by this? How do I manage to live what comes naturally to me? Live how I love to live? How do I manage to get by every day being perfectly content?

It's a bugger, but I do manage.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to missturbation)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:19:14 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beastie

24/7 isn't about being in collar and cuffs, naked, performing this act or another constantly. 24/7 is the dynamic of D/s, which is to say, one controls and one obeys. This includes day to day living situations. "Sir, what would you like for dinner this evening?" "Steak and salad." Girl goes about preparing dinner, in between helping with homework. Sir comes home and joins in the family life, reserving a special look for Girl now and then, a soft caress or just a grip of his hand around her wrist to communicate that the dynamic is still in place and is always in place.

One of the best descriptions of a 24/7 dynamic I have seen in a very long time.....

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to feastie)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:22:02 AM

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I am enjoying this thread a great deal and it has made me review my definitions more closely. I have in my profile that I have no interest in 24/7 or TPE because, at this point in time, we have no desire to have another person living under the same roof with us. There was not an intention of separating the authority/power exchange but, rather the living arrangements. Seems it might be time to revise my profile a little to clarify my meanings.

For the record, if I have the need to progress beyond a training collar to one of permanence than I do expect that my sub or slave would know down to the molecular level that I am his Mistress at all times. Seen or not; in my presence or while elsewhere his every action/thought/intention is a reflection of service towards me.

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:26:03 AM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe
Sounds like your guy found someone competent (which is rare) -keep it up.

I do my best!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RRafe)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 9:27:45 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Prison isnt consensual - you dont see all inmates going - well geez, I really hope I got to go to prison - and I did!
They may consent and do the crime, doesnt mean they consent to the time.

If you are a dad, you are a dad regardless - even if your child is 37 years of age - I wasn;t talking about care - even then I do believe you missed the point. Whatever caregiver the child was with - you are still the parent. Even if the mother has the child and you are the father out at work all day.

I get that you have a different view, I am not saying its invalid for you - like you say you are feeling somewhat jaded and a prison. However, if someone view 24/7 differently to you (even the same and enjoys it) then it is just an option being shown to you. I handed authority over to Darcy and when he is working he still has that authority - whether we are in the same room or not. If he says jump, I jump. Strict, total and all down to him.

Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to came4U)

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