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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:01:43 AM

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What an interesting discussion. I am probably going to echo a lot of what has been said here already, but here goes:

I am always his slave, whether in his presence or not. There is no "break" from it because for me that would mean taking a break from being true to myself and what I need. I have no desire to do that. The more I can do for him, the better. The harder I can push myself to do more for him, the better. He is my priority above anything else. That also means he may prioritize my responsibilities and have my tasks for him fall down on the list. He is still my priority because I am doing what he wants.

I do not live with him, but he calls me at any time of day to request anything. I am often woken up in the middle of the night, simply to talk to him, or to show my body on cam to him, or to be teased by him. I have been called to drive two hours just to deliver something to him, or to suck him off and go back home. He keeps me busy constantly, and the busier I am for him, the happier I am.

He calls me at work and I stop what I'm doing and talk to him, or even leave if he wishes me to. He calls when I'm out with friends or family and the same applies. In everything I do, I do for him. His expectations are for me to excel at work and get straight A's at school and I do that. I have learned to dance for him. I have learned to massage for him. I have learned to write as he enjoys. I have learned to express myself the way he prefers. Etc.

He has recently spoken of having me service his home, and having me assist in his work. I am elated.

He knows what I wear, where I am at any given time, what I weigh each week, who my friends are and what we do together...he has read all my papers for school...he knows everything there is to know about me at any given time, and taps into me at any given time for any given reason. My schedule revolves around what is convenient for him. I ask to go out with friends & family, letting him know where I will be and what we will be doing. He can nix my plans at any time, or call me while with them and I will drop everything and tend to him.

If I were to be given "breaks" from being his, I would feel like the carpet had been pulled from under my feet. His slave is who I am, 24/7.

And speaking of that, he just contacted me and wants me to go meet him at the outlet center, so off I go... :)

(in reply to missturbation)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:03:10 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

came4u, I would say your perspective is scewed by your experience to be a very narrow view, of what 24/7 is.

Exactly again!

who's perspective should I view it through? my uncles? lol

It is my view, MINE MINE.

the OP didn't ask 'what is the general consensus, or what is Dom so n so's literal opinion, nor the Dom-manual translation.

It means what it means to me. Around the clock submission. With or without being in the same room as the person (aka no free time, life revolves around the D and nothing else). Thus, why in my definition 24/7 is a total mind/body control. I am unfit for that since. It would not be a healthy situation for me.

Others, consider 24/7 something milder. I will probably change my ideal of the definition personally in time. Lots and lots of time. lol

Sorry thought that discussing the pros and cons of various people's possitions was considered intelligent conversation. Obviously I was mistaken that this was what you and I were doing.

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:05:24 AM

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quote:

And that really differs from person to person, relationship to relationship.

yes, TotalState, Dominance/submission 24/7 to some is light and fluttery happiness and glee, by their definition of the term. To others, it is a whole other story of non-whimsical and actual power agendas that enforce strict protocol and hidden from the world power. I tend not to judge others in their nature to define such a term like 24/7 in this lifestyle. It can mean from simply living together, to full blown lockdown. The answers will vary depending on life experience, the partner you choose and the timeframe involved.

quote:

Sorry thought that discussing the pros and cons of various people's possitions was considered intelligent conversation. Obviously I was mistaken that this was what you and I were doing.

excuse me?

and intelligent conversation is you attempting me to be swayed to your form of ideals? I think NOT. You continue with your idea of 24/7, I stay with mine. Don't consider that attaching personal cracks on me is going to make me change my mind.

< Message edited by came4U -- 9/3/2007 10:13:28 AM >

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:06:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalState

Is it just me who finds this a wholly uninteresting question?
Probably not but you didnt have to read it or post on it so go figure.

I mean, in a sense all relationships that are serious are 24/7. All that's being asked is the varying degree of servitude/submission/fill-in-the-word-that-makes-you-hot in your lives.
Not for me. My relationship is not 24/7, its when he feels like seeing me. Im not asking degrees of submission at all. I'm asking what peoples views of 14/7 are and they all differ as you have seen.
And that really differs from person to person, relationship to relationship. This whole mess of 24/7 or not, slavery or not, submission or not is just nonsense, isnt' it?
Maybe to you.
It's all relative, existing in the minds of the individual, not some binary truism.

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:09:25 AM

MzMia

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I am glad that I rarely wear fetish wear.
I control you with my MIND, not what I wear.
If I own you, I can dominate you in my bedroom slippers with a fucking T shirt on.
When you meet me, I will have on street clothes that is the world I usually live in.
Many people use this lifestyle to help them escape their real lives.
Many people are not capable of actually living with their Dominant or submissive, 24/7.
It is similar to the difference between dating and being married.

The reasons many relationships here don't last or work, is many people fail to have a
realistic view of combining this lifestyle WITH the real world that most of us have to live in.

I don't offer a fantasy life so if a submissive can't deal with me in my normal life and be a part
of it, we don't have a future.
One of the reasons professional Dominants are so popular and in demand is they OFFER fantasy.
You can go to them for 2 or 3 hours, they will dress in fetish gear with all sorts of fun toys you can
play with, live out your freaky little fantasies and then go home.
What fun that is!
Real life is a bit different than playing and having scenes for a few hours.

**Many people do NOT want their fun, fantasy land and their real OTHER lives to meet or be combined.**
LOL I love this place.
This is a great topic.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 9/3/2007 10:21:29 AM >

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:17:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalState

And that really differs from person to person, relationship to relationship. This whole mess of 24/7 or not, slavery or not, submission or not is just nonsense, isnt' it?

Maybe to you.

I can only speak for myself, of course.

That's kind of my point. You can't get too hung up on definitions presented by others.

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:25:27 AM

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Total its really not the possitions that are the important thing here. It is the discussion of them. The fact is many people struggle with how to merge or even if to merge their everyday life with their D/s life. Sometimes it's best for the person not to other times the person really needs an integrated life. Without discussing how others achieved their integration or the reason they chose not to integrate them people have to reinvent the wheel every time. If through discussing how I or others have integrated their M/s relationship into thier life makes it a little easier for someone else to figure it out for themselves then the purpose of the forums and posts like this have been fulfilled.

It may seem obvious and sensless until you find yourself struggling with an issue yourself and turn for inspiration to other people and how they have handled similar things.

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:28:12 AM

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Fast reply:

An interesting discussion. I'm not sure what I think other than it's just not that simple. Were I to try to apply all the different definitions given here so far, I think I'd still not know.

In our relationship, I am always submissive and he is always dominant.

I am always available to him, and he has complete authority over me. There is no time or part of my life where he is not permitted to exercise control. Yet he does not exercise that authority always or in a great many areas.

I'd almost say that I am 24/7 and he is not.... except for the fact that when he does not take control, it is because that is his desire and therefore he's exercising his right to choose.

lol... Like I said, not so simple.

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:28:30 AM

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Ok, that I agree with and find wholly sensible!

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:30:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

If through discussing how I or others have integrated their M/s relationship into thier life makes it a little easier for someone else to figure it out for themselves then the purpose of the forums and posts like this have been fulfilled.

It may seem obvious and sensless until you find yourself struggling with an issue yourself and turn for inspiration to other people and how they have handled similar things.

I would like to second this. Valyraen and I have been reading these forums every step of our journey. At first only I read them, and I shared with him what I learned. Then he began to read as well. While I am still the more active one here, we both have learned so much. I feel that our path was made much smoother by listening to those who have come before us. I hope to both continue to learn from those here and to share what I can.

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:32:21 AM

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I will respond first…and then read the thread.

Personally, I think that a lot of people automatically go to their idea of historical slavery; people in chains against their will. For our purpose, we must remember that WIITWD here is consensual; the position desirable and fulfilling. For that reason, it is possible to live it 24/7…at least in my world. One still has to consider what this kind of life means to each individual. For it to work, of course, individuals’ beliefs must be matched up to work.

My definition of 24/7 is every hour, every day…same as most folks believe it. For someone living ‘this lifestyle’ 24/7, it still means every hour of every day…to me.

Yes, I do believe it is possible to live a M/s or D/s (either…take your pick) 24/7 because the degree to which the dynamic is played out is the determining factor. Some people love the idea of being naked and on knees all the time. Others desire to be chained to the cement floor in the basement… with a single slop-bucket and a bowl of water. Perhaps those folks could not live their idea of ‘this lifestyle’ 24/7…but I could. The reason I could is because that is not my idea of this lifestyle.

In my mind this lifestyle is about two whole people who come together with some aspect of BDSM firmly entrenched in their daily lives. I am submissive, but healthy, bright and quite capable. I could be an asset to the right guy; I am happy, conversational, love to cook and am quite the gardener. I have lived alone off-grid, I am quite happy either in the woods or the big city. I have designed and delivered software training and am good with computers. I’m a good researcher…read that: good at finding needed information and resources. THAT is the kind of ‘slave’ I believe (my kind of) a modern-day owner desires. He might sometimes look to me to make decisions regarding things about which I am more knowledgeable. He would have little use for micro-management…and would prefer me in his bed, close at hand, to chaining me anywhere else for the night. THAT is why I believe this can be done, and easily, 24/7.

As far as how to ‘manage it’…in my world he has the authority/power and it would be my choice to follow his lead. That said, I believe…as in all relationships…this takes work and commitment. Both parties must do what they can to keep things as they like them. It is my contention that the submissive/slave can do much to illicit the attitude s/he desires; just as the Dom/me can do much to keep the sub/slave in the right headspace.

I realize ‘real-life’ intrudes a great deal. Some people have children or other family around a lot of the time. Others have work or church or neighbors pulling toward a more vanilla way of being. This is perfectly normal, but if two people want an M/s or D/s relationship…then I think they have to ‘act as if’ that is the only choice they have. Besides, isn’t that what commitment is all about? Yes, yes…I realize we can always say NO (that would be what consensual is all about!), but until/unless that is a necessary choice, I’d prefer to say YES with my every-day actions and way of life.

So, managing it is a simple thing, really. In my world, he might come up behind me and grab my hair and gently bite my neck…telling me he plans to use me after dinner. Or perhaps I might ask him one evening if I might remove his boots and polish them for him…and give him a foot massage before I leave him to do that. There are so many things that people can do to ‘manage’ this; I could give examples for days. Sure, for the most part, my life might look like any vanilla couple…but there would be those private (mostly) moments that reiterate we are not vanilla!

Great topic, nicely presented; thank you!
beverly

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:33:13 AM

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so we can all agree that part-time or on/off is not 24/7? or is it?

there is no correct answer. It has become a competition of who can go the longest at actually 'behaving' D or s without real life interfeing, which in a vicious circle thought, is that then not 24/7?

ok, going insane now, getting dizzy. No more thoughts on this lol.

(in reply to TotalState)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:40:02 AM

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Morning, folks,

Hello, Missturbation,

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65
I don't need breaks from life (not excluding vacations lol) and I don't need breaks from being a submissive woman. It is just who I am.

For me, Camille hit on the essential element that makes my view of "24/7" different than Missturbation's. I am not "playing a role", I am simply being me. When Un is around me, I naturally react to him with deference & submission. He is the leader I've craved all my life & following his lead fulfills me.

He leads not because it's a "role" we've negotiated into place, but because it is who he is, & my response to that is who I am. I don't get 'exhausted, bored or insane' by being me. (Some would insist that being me includes insanity, but I have avoided their white-coats for decades now! ;-D)

Now, of course the fun, kinky, or intimate activities that highlight &/or emphasize our dynamic may not be hourly or even daily ocurrances, but that is not the whole of who we are, as individuals OR as a couple. These interactions are the icing on the cake of life, not the daily sustenance. Besides, who would want to eat cake icing 24/7??

Well wishes,

~Kimveri

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"It is always wise to examine the facts from all angles before one renders a summary judgement."~_Marcus_

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:40:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I control you with my MIND, not what I wear.
If I own you, I can dominate you in my bedroom slippers with a fucking T shirt on.

That says it all...and damned well said, in my opinion.

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:47:59 AM

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Edited to say...

Someday I will learn to read ALL the posts in a thread before I respond. Sometimes people make black & white declarations only to 'soften' them up a bit later…which, of course, makes responding to that kind of thinking look stupid! LOL

I will say that I liked how Stephann put it best; “It's a character trait in me, like being friendly, outgoing, or a conversationalist. I'm also a musician. I'm a musician 24/7; yet I don't walk around with my guitar in hand 24/7.” Nice, that’s pretty much how I look at things, too.

beverly

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 9/3/2007 10:58:42 AM >

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:54:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kimveri

Morning, folks,

Hello, Missturbation,

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65
I don't need breaks from life (not excluding vacations lol) and I don't need breaks from being a submissive woman. It is just who I am.

For me, Camille hit on the essential element that makes my view of "24/7" different than Missturbation's. I am not "playing a role", I am simply being me. When Un is around me, I naturally react to him with deference & submission. He is the leader I've craved all my life & following his lead fulfills me.
I'm the same as you kimveri but i just dont need / want to live it 24/7 at present. Because i dont live 24/7 does not mean i am role playing or not submissive to him or react to him in all the interactions we have.

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 10:56:24 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
Whilst i respect that dynamic in your relationship, (i have always greatly admired the relationship between yourself, KoM and Alandra) sometimes for me personally i am not able to ask his permission to put on hold a request he makes.
Because of the job i do sometimes that dynamic is just not possible. For example if there is trouble or trouble brewing in the pub i work in i may not have time to lengthily explain why i cannot do something he requests straight away.
I guess its the old what works for one doesnt always work for another. And cheekily i may add if it had anything to do with spiders *grins* i would definately be unable to fulfill straight away - just kidding

I have been given permission to not answer the phone if I am in a position where I am not able to talk. Once I am able to, I call him back and explain what I was doing. Fortunately, my job is rather predictable and most times I know in advance when I will not be able to answer the phone and I let him know. If I had an unpredictable job, then he would make the decisions that either support that job or have me get a more predictable one.

It does come down to what works best for the people involved and I know that there are not many who would be happy in the relationship that I have. I like Archer's explanation of:

quote:

You design the dynamic based on what works in the real world and push the edges of what you can do from the inside out.

We do not see our dynamic as something separate from the "real life". It exists within life and is just our structure for decision making.

Knight's Kyra

p.s. I think I should ask the mods to find a spider emoticon *g*

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 11:05:26 AM

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24-7 can be in play in several ways,WE have 4 here under collar in and out due to their profession and lay their head down at night under my roof.I have 4 or 5 subs that consider them selfs 24-7 to me that live within an hour of my call and can be summons at a drop of a hat.Theses also consider them selfs 24-7 as do I.So to get to my point I believe when we hear 24-7 we assume that the slave is under her owners roof 24-7 thats where we make the mistake,OURS are educated professional woman that I would never think of asking them to give up what they love to be under foot 24hours out of every day...Just the views of this ol' master...

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RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 11:09:21 AM

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Howdy, Misturbation,

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
I'm the same as you kimveri but i just dont need / want to live it 24/7 at present. Because i dont live 24/7 does not mean i am role playing or not submissive to him or react to him in all the interactions we have.

I phrased that poorly, my bad. I didn't mean to imply that you specifically were "roleplaying" at all. Only that for me....it's not a role I agree to take on for ocassions, scenes, or at agreed-upon times. It is an integral part of who I am as a human being.

I can understand not wanting to bring that sort of exchange fully into one's life, for various reasons. But for those who do incorporate it, it need not be anything other than natural interactive behaviors that wouldn't appear "kinky" to the boss, the family OR the kids.

Just as D/s of any sort does not always mean sexual kink in action, so too 24/7 does not always mean sexual kink in action. It can be as subtle & natural as a leader leading while a follower happily follows.

Sorry for the misunderstanding, Missturbation. Hope I clarified my views a bit.

~Kimveri

{edited for spelling}

< Message edited by Kimveri -- 9/3/2007 11:11:51 AM >

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(in reply to missturbation)

RE: 24/7 - no way!! - 9/3/2007 11:14:34 AM

arayofsunshine55

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

So firstly what is your definition of 24/7?
24/7/365 (or 366 during leap year) with someone

Secondly do you think it really is possible to live the dynamics 24/7?
well, i wish i could however i have UMs to take to and from school, a life in the radio/media biz, and other activities/interests that don't involve D/s dynamic. i can't dress in my leather corset and heels with the UMs in plain sight in public - please let's get real ...there's a time and place for that and it's certainly not walking towards a private school.

see this is what i mean, life gets in the way of life !

Only if you believe you are only submissive while dressed in leather corsets. I don't change with what I'm wearing or what I'm doing.

Not at all and that is not what i meant. However there are times when if Sir rang and said 'do this' that it just would not be possible etc. That is what i mean by life gets in the way of life. I cannot always be his 100% devoted submissive because i have other responsibilities.

That makes no sense to me. If your boss asked you to do something and you could not in the moment would that make you less the subordinate in the relationship? In reality as the boss, I would expect to hear your other priorities and help you re-prioritize if need be. Other relationships can work similarly.

_____________________________

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to missturbation)

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