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RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/19/2007 9:11:22 AM

Rule

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quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610
He said to me. "You're not going to do anything. And you know why? You're afraid of me".

That is the way that an unsophisticated boss - or rather a bully - may speak, not a master. Perhaps you ought to ask him for a paycheck and for back pay.

A slave is a part of the master, like any other parts of his body. It would be silly for parts of my body to fear me. Apparently you had another kind of dynamic.

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RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/19/2007 10:11:25 AM

labrat18610

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No fliching.
I restate that I was not physically afraid of the Master. As far as that goes, He would have been on the sorry end of a fight. I was bigger, stronger, and taller. There were never any threats of violence, so I never flinched. He pointed out that He owned me. And as I said, He was right. When another person has that much control over you, it is scary. There is an element of fear.
And for the comments that we both sit down over a cup of coffee and thouroughly discuss the incident.....
Knock! Knock!. Reality here. The guy owned me. I was his slave. He was the Master, not my buddy.Whether I thought that He was right or wrong, He was still the Master. I find it strange that people who claim to be into slavery are "conditional" slaves. "I'm your total , devoted slave, only if you do A, B, C, D,and maybe E, if I feel like it." Again, I'm not talking about setting limits for physical play, but actual power exchange.
Rick

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Post #: 42

RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/19/2007 10:23:14 AM

Dreammuaddib

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Fear is a mind killer.. it should not be utilized as a means of keeping a submissive/slave. A submissive/slave may at times be fearfull about what might occur but not directly towards the dominant. If one is utlizing fear as a tactic to subdue a submissive then this person is not looking out for what they have been given. Just how we view a D/s relationship.

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Muaddib

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Post #: 43

RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/19/2007 12:29:34 PM

Celeste43

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quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610

No fliching.
I restate that I was not physically afraid of the Master. As far as that goes, He would have been on the sorry end of a fight. I was bigger, stronger, and taller. There were never any threats of violence, so I never flinched. He pointed out that He owned me. And as I said, He was right. When another person has that much control over you, it is scary. There is an element of fear.
And for the comments that we both sit down over a cup of coffee and thouroughly discuss the incident.....
Knock! Knock!. Reality here. The guy owned me. I was his slave. He was the Master, not my buddy.Whether I thought that He was right or wrong, He was still the Master. I find it strange that people who claim to be into slavery are "conditional" slaves. "I'm your total , devoted slave, only if you do A, B, C, D,and maybe E, if I feel like it." Again, I'm not talking about setting limits for physical play, but actual power exchange.
Rick

One of the reasons we advocate people sitting down and discussing things freely is that this way resentments, anger, unfulfilled needs don't grow and wind up ending the relationship.

You say he WAS the master, not that he still is. Maybe if you had had honest and open communication, he still would be.

This sounds a little snarky which is not my intention. Just couldn't think of a more tactful way of saying it.

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Post #: 44

RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/19/2007 1:55:47 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

Again, I'm not talking about setting limits for physical play, but actual power exchange.

When I say the sub should not fear the Master, so am I.

The power exchange itself may be scary to you. Master's displeasure may be (and should be) scary to you. Master himself...should not be scary. If he is, the relationship is out of balance and unstable; it will not last. This is the order of things.

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RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/19/2007 3:46:10 PM

labrat18610

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As far as the break up of my relationship with the Master, it was due to circumstances beyond our control. Namely, military service.
I keep reading posts that say in "my" M/s relationship, we have true love and complete trust. We discuss everything. We are soul mates , who intimately know each others' thoughts, etc, etc. Well, if all that is true, and there is no fear of a Master's authority; please explain why we need a "safe word".

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Post #: 46

RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/19/2007 3:47:47 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

Well, if all that is true, and there is no fear of a Master's authority; please explain why we need a "safe word".

That's easy: you don't.

Put it another way--if there is fear of a Master's authority, what good is a safe word?

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Post #: 47

RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/19/2007 5:04:18 PM

labrat18610

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celticlord2112;
Sir, I did not fear the Master, I feared His authority over me. I willingly gave Him that authority, and was quite happy being His slave. The apprehension, that I felt, was as if you had a brand new car and you let your best friend use it to drive across the country. The Master was driving my life. I don't think you can hand over that much power over you to another human being without some fear of its use.
BTW#1. We loved each other. He lived the Master role and I lived the slave role. It was what we both wanted.
BTW#2. Sorry, Sir. You're evading the question. "Safe words" do exist. I understand what you mean that it's up to the Master to abide by "safe words". But, again, if there is no fear of the Master going too far, why have "safe words"?

Okay, major suck up time, now.

.celticlord2112, Sir, I've read lots of your posts. I find them rational, well grounded and insightful. I agree with 95% of them. Plus you stay on topic. You don't post 1,500 word posts that end up talking about tree bark.

Rick

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Post #: 48

RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/19/2007 5:07:06 PM

celticlord2112

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Thanks for the kind words. Although give me time...I may end up talking about tree bark yet!

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RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/19/2007 6:20:17 PM

Celeste43

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quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610
Well, if all that is true, and there is no fear of a Master's authority; please explain why we need a "safe word".

He's not a mind reader. He doesn't know if he's hitting an emotional trigger or if I've got a cramp.

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RE: Afraid Of The Master - 9/21/2007 9:07:42 AM

VaWolf

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I agree with SirCache, I do not believe that ultimately you should fear him. Respect and Love should be foremost. If anything, fear his anger, or fear his punishments, do not fear him. If you are afraid of him, you cannot have open lines of communications, you cannot tell him how you truely feel. I believe there should be Respect and Love for the man, and fear of his anger.

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Post #: 51