tsatske -> RE: No Limits: How far would you go? (5/1/2008 6:46:40 AM)
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I really try not to get into 'no limits' conversations on collarme - i certainly do not start them. Collarme is a very no-limits hating environment. First the collarme folks inform me of 'what the words' that express my kink 'mean' - and I am absolutely in the wrong to try and use any other meaning! Then they tell me that that meaning is absolutely unacceptable. How many times on this thread has someone said that 'anyone who is truly no limits should be locked up' ? Understand that i speak only for me. How other people describe their kink and identify themselves is just okay with me. First of all, much of 'no limits' is symbolic speech. Not all of it, but i will get to that. I do not have limits with Him. period. I love this concept that 'no limits means the slave and Master have identical limits'. It reminds me of telling vanillas, 'well, it is really not pain, it is strong, erotic sensation. I just process the feeling differently than you do, it feels good to me.' This is both true - and less than the whole truth. So is the 'identical limits' statement. It is something that someone who can not accept the no limits concept, something that they can wrap their head around and accept. If he did not have similar core values to me, i would not have fallen in love with him, that is true. If he did not have my best interests and safety and care and needs at the center of his priorities, i could not trust him enough to abandon all limits, that is also true. I was looking for a no limits Master, someone i could trust with that, because that is who and what i am. But, before surrendering that to someone, i have plenty of limits. 2 kinds of limits - temporary ones, that only apply to the 'I would only do this for my owner, for a life mate, for a whatever.' I have a LOT of those. And more core ones - ones that will never feel right to me, no matter who owns me. The second ones usually are not about 'gee, i don't like that', but more about, 'this feels to me like a wrong thing to do, i don't want to do this because i belive it is wrong'. For me, the 'wrongness' usually has to do with other people, i don't believe anything is 'wrong' for me to do when it only affects me. (in other words, 'and it harm none, do as ye wilt.') Early in our relationship Master broke some of those limits - asked me to do things that i believe are wrong. He did not ask me to kill, maim, injure or rape anyone. He required me to do things that would get a lot of people on here to tell me how wrong it was - and i agree with them - but that a lot of other people would have no problem with. My values haven't changed - but he is in control. There are always, as RS said, things that one 'can not' do. And these are not limited to flying. There are things that one 'can't' do because they would damage, in a particular case, though others could do them. Like my sistersub has had her neck broken and can't give a blowjob in certain positions, because it will damage her. She is not no limits - but if that were me, i would know that he had the right to require me to try, even if it might damage me. I would also know that he probably wouldn't - but i would accept that he had the right. There are things like flying, but some of them are more personal - other people can do this, i can't. I can't seem to piss in front of him, for whatever reason. It is a block i can't seem to overcome. But i certainly try, if ordered to, and am certainly willing to continue to work on it, if he wants it. There is the 'i can't' in terms of 'more than i can take'. And he is absolutely free to take me there. Does, on occasion. I am a pretty heavy pain slut, but we have a few toys that are more than i can take. A very tight nasty clit clamp, that starts me begging and pleading the moment he reaches for it, and has me screaming the whole time it is on. My throat is raw after every time we play with it. I do have to be chained down to play with it, but i would never consider telling him no. that is not my right. Then there are the things i call the 'big red no button'. The things i absolutely can not bring myself to do. Hurt my own children, for instance. there are things that have to be understood. The only thing that would get me to tell him no - and, again, he would never ask, because he does understand the issues - is drinking. This seems counter intrusive if you don't understand, but he does. The thing with asking me to drink is - or would be - i am his to do with as he sees fit. He is free to kill me. but drinking would kill me far too slowly, and, long before it was done, he would find it necessary to release me, so then my life is an unmanageable hell and he is not there with me. so, that is a big red no button for me. There are things that he would not do, that he has the right to do. This is where the symbolic language comes in, because it is important to us that he has the right. He can kill me. In fact, my contract says that in order to release me, he must kill me, sell me, or otherwise place me, unless he finds it necessary to release me because of my own dishonorable behavior. That was not in the contract draft he first showed me. I asked for it. I have to tell you, honestly, that i do not think i would have signed a life long contract with someone unwilling to agree to that stipulation. It is about a Dominant that wants total control, being willing to accept total responsibility. My contract says he can maim me, mutilate me - basically do anything he wants. again, the important thing is in knowing that we have agreed to that. Someone said on a board once - 'if he actually decided to cut off your arm, i doubt if you'd hold it out and hold still for it'. Yes, i would hold it out. Hold still for him? probably not. but my contract does not say I have to. He is bigger than me and stronger than me, and has my full consent to use, in the language of our contract, 'as much force as necessary.' Which brings us to another 'no limits' issue. One of the Great Agreed Upon Myths (uhm - sorry - truths) on collarme is that every slave has one right left - the right to leave. My contract says that if i leave without begging him for and receive release from him, that he promises to track me down and bring me back to him, 'by as much force as necessary.' there are many more issues that one can take with 'no limits' slaves. but, in the end, i just do not understand why other people have so much issue with my life choice. I am not hurting other people. Yes, like the woman out reading in her husbands fishing boat, i suppose i have all the equipment. but it is so like American society to espouse freedom of choice, then have an attitude with anyone whose choices are not their own. We have that attitude with women all over the world who do not chose American style freedom for their relationships. This is my choice. My choice is slavery. that does not mean that this is the only thing that is slavery. But it is my kind of slavery. it is the only thing that works for me. i continue to fail to understand why my choice would disturb others, in any way.
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