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"We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 9:57:59 AM

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So....if your Sir/Top/Master/SO of any sort called you from work during the middle of the day to say "when I get home we need to sit down and talk" would you get worried? I asked if I did something wrong and he said no, he still loved me and I hadnt done anything wrong but something was bothering him and it was a serious discussion that he needed to have with me.

AAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

I want so badly to sit back and go..ok, he said it was nothing bad I need to keep treating my day like normal, but in all honesty all I really want to do is crawl into a dark room and cry. Yes I know that makes me sound a bit immature and insecure...but I always get weepy and over-emotional during this time of the month and after a rather hectic weekend filled with some drama and an emotial rollercoaster we had to ride out with some friends (or not so friends) of ours....my head is spinning....

So yea...Im gonna be whiny and ask for someone to just placate me and pat my head and tell me everything is gonna be ok....

Hey...at least I admit it when Im being irrational.

ghita~

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I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

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RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 10:00:15 AM

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It is obviously about the not so friends....take a fuckin' shot of jack and do the dishes, don't fret it.

Men just ain't that fuckin' deep. Nothing coming out of left field from two years ago, that's woman shit right there.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 10:05:06 AM

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Yes.

I hate it when people do that to me. Valyraen doesn't do that to me because he knows I will spend every single second fretting and running around like a chicken with my head cut off going "Oh God, what did I doooo!!!!!". He hates it when my parents or my friends do that to me because I do the same damn thing! By the time I get to talk with whoever it is, I'm close to wailing "JUST TELL ME! PUT ME OUT MY MISERY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!"

But yes, everything will be ok and you aren't the only one who has a less than mature response to that evil phrase...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 10:09:15 AM

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From: All over now in Minnesota
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Has there ever been a good thing come from “we need to talk” preface right away?

Worry, yes I would, it would drive me totally crazy so I understand where you are coming from.

Now need to talk and lets break up it way too far of a jump to worry that way, it could be something work related, something that is fyi only or something that will require a very small change. Maybe short term yuck but a long term benefit.

I would just try to focus on the words he loves you and needs to talk. Important does not mean negative impact. Way easier said then done though.

I hope things turn out spectacular.

Lin

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I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 10:09:17 AM

RRafe

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go take a hot bath-and take your time.

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(in reply to GhitaAmati)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 10:13:52 AM

RCdc

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If someone ever does this to me, they soon know that it is a complete nono straight off. I would never dream of doing that to someone else. If you have something to say, say it straight off and if you can't, then hold off until you can. I won't even drop something on Darcy without communicating what I am thinking. If there is something to discuss, Darcy has always informed me straight out and never left me dangling. To do it any other way is a complete head fuck and if that is a pre arranged thing, is all good. But I get the impression that this wasn't.

I don't think you are over reacting Ghita and I think it sucks for you.

Peace
the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 10:13:53 AM

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From: Sacramento
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Yes, I'd be worried, James knows not to do shit like that to me though because I'd worry and fret all day and be a basket case and in no shape to listen to him when he finally did get home.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

So....if your Sir/Top/Master/SO of any sort called you from work during the middle of the day to say "when I get home we need to sit down and talk" would you get worried?ghita~

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 10:18:27 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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From: Chicago, IL
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don't feel bad - i get the same way too. whenever my boss or Daddy says "we need to talk", i freak out ...panic wondering if that last review i wrote was horrible or did i say something to displease Daddy. yeah, it's a good way to upset your normal routine until you have that talk. i'm sure it's nothing to worry about ...try taking some time out to meditate to calm your nerves. *hugs*

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(in reply to GhitaAmati)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 10:53:21 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

It is obviously about the not so friends....take a fuckin' shot of jack and do the dishes, don't fret it.

Men just ain't that fuckin' deep. Nothing coming out of left field from two years ago, that's woman shit right there.

Ron

Ron...you crack me up....thanks!

To everyone else...thanks also..I think its reassuring to know Im not the only one who turns into a basketcase at that phrase! I just finished mopping the kitchen...now Im gonna go do laundry and dishes...maybe if the house is spotless by the time he gets home...shrugs...who knows...

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 11:15:06 AM

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"We need to talk" should be striken from people's vocabularies. It 's just one of those things no one needs to say. Either there's some terrible news they're gonna drop on you or it's nothing and they're just a dingbat, and gonna let you dangle on those words, not realizing it's gonna drive you nuts til you know what it is. (Apologies for calling your Toppy-type a dingbat) If someone uses the "we need to talk" line on me, they have to tell me what about, right then. i don't care who it is. If whatever it is, is SO important, tell me now. There's no reason to tell me ahead of time that we need to talk at a later time, if we can't talk about it right then. All it's gonna do is make me crazy, and by the time we actually talk, i'm no nutso, i can't have a sane conversation about anything. "Hon, we need to talk about something, but I won't tell you what right now. I just wanted to let you know, that later we're going to be having a conversation." noooooooooooooooo!!!

~kitty
(sorry, that got a little ranty/babbly right there, this is one of those things that just drives be batshit)

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 11:16:45 AM

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btw, don't fret Ghita, i'm sure it's no biggie, and everything'll be fine :-)

~kitty

(in reply to worththeeffort)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 11:17:21 AM

secretagentgirl

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Joined: 9/16/2007
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Oh no no no! Don't people know by now that this is one of the #1 forbidden phrases in a relationship?! Torture, pure and simple.
I agree with whoever said it above... don't leave that hanging. If he has something to say, he should just say it when he gets home instead of letting your mind go crazy.
I think you're perfectly justified at the end of the conversation to ask that next time you aren't given this advance notice of an "important conversation."

And yes, I'll be checking in tonight to see what it was. Great, now I too will be driven crazy all day.

Hang in there, and good luck.

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 11:29:37 AM

mbes

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Joined: 12/14/2006
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If my memory is working correctly, you have several um's? Maybe he just wanted to give you a heads-up that he's going to need you to squeeze in a half-hour between dinner and baths and beds and.... ? I remember during my rug-monkeys-crawling-everywhere days that a simple conversation wasn't always so easy to have, and sometimes took planning. Does it work that way sometimes there? (My apologies if my memory is out of whack and I'm thinking of someone else.)
Either way, I recommend chocolate, or whatever your drug of choice is.

Good luck!

(in reply to secretagentgirl)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 11:49:11 AM

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excellent thought mbes!

*starts the Chocolate for Ghita's Peace of Mind Fund*

And don't be cheap, we want the money that folds, not jingles :-P

~kitty

(in reply to mbes)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 11:50:47 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: secretagentgirl

And yes, I'll be checking in tonight to see what it was. Great, now I too will be driven crazy all day.

Misery loves company! But I will also be wondering as well... update when you know what is going on Ghita!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to secretagentgirl)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 11:52:46 AM

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Joined: 8/5/2006
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It is such a relief to see I am not the only person who gets all worked up from hearing that phrase! I always feel like a rock has dropped into my stomach when I hear it.

Ghita, I hope that things are fine for you, and try to stay calm (even though I know how impossible that can be!). He reassured that you have not done something wrong and he still loves you- so even though it's hard to be logical during the emotional frenzy you're feeling, nothing you can worry about between now and then is going to make you feel any better, so just try to relax and take it easy on yourself.

Good luck!
behindmirrors.

(in reply to mbes)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 11:53:57 AM

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Think of how it jacks a man up, 'cause we know it ain't gonna be about the toilet seat.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to behindmirrors)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 12:38:36 PM

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Joined: 3/20/2007
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Noooo!!!

If you look that phrase up in a theosaurus you'd get:

"We need to talk" - I am about to fill your world with doom & gloom, you know you're happy now... well dont forget that, I'm about to make you feel so small its unreal, its not you... its me

Or... my personal favourite, we can still be friends

ARGGHHHHH!!!!!!

You have my full and utmost understanding. Remember though... you dont know what he's gonna say yet.
It may just be "sorry love I didnt wanna tell you but that washing powder you use makes me itch" men can be hopeless sometimes.

I have my fingers crossed for you... and hugs too!!!

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 12:39:38 PM

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I wonder also if he isn't just trying to tell you that there's a problem but he can't talk about it from work. And needs you to try to work out some time when he gets home to talk for five minutes. Put on a Disney tape or something.

If it's something he can't talk about while at work, then it's probably work related. However, you could in future ask if you've done something wrong. If no, then you know there's a problem but probably not a relationship one.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: "We need to talk....." - 9/19/2007 1:12:32 PM

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From: Washington
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Yes i would be worried. It's like when the doctor calls and says he needs to discuss the reults of some test, please come into the office. Hope it's nothing too serious, good luck.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

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