quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

There are people who take on the title dominant because they think, “Oh, cool, I can do what I want and get blow jobs on demand”
There are people who say they are submissive who think, “Cool beans, I can do a little cooking and cleaning and fetch a drink and I will have a roof over my head and someone to fix me.” 
Kinky or not has little to do with anything.  In truth, I got into this because I’m a masochist.  But somewhere along the way I found the joys of submission.  Happily I’ve met several dominants who also are sadists.  I’ve also med sadistic tops, and that is fun for me but not as fulfilling.
To make a power exchange relationship work, both (or all) people involved in that union need to accept the obligations and responsibilities of their chosen role.   They need to consider that it is not ‘all about me’ whether D or s.

quote:

I don't think there's any problem in not being interested in kinky play but still wanting a D/s relationship. I don't think you need it to establish authority. For many pain is pleasurable so how can that be used as punishment anyway? Think about all the fantasies that revolve around "being punished".  For those types if punishment is needed (which I don't personally ascribe to) the Dom/me has to come up with something else. There have been many threads on that topic. Honestly I've been kicking around this question quite a bit lately and I'm not sure why D/s and kink go together when they don't really need to. I think the reason is that kink needs D/s, but D/s doesn't need kink.



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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrSkyWoIf

I agree with catize and would like to point out she hit it directly on the point when she said

"To make a power exchange relationship work, both (or all) people involved in that union need to accept the obligations and responsibilities of their chosen role.   They need to consider that it is not ‘all about me’ whether D or s"
 
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