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RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:11:53 PM

DWCdelight

Posts: 9
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

I have been in the lifestyle for two years. I was collared by Master about two months after I discovered BDSM and He has taught me most never everything I know--having been in the lifestyle 25+ years!

I first wore a training collar made of leather. Eventually He placed a beautiful white gold chain around my neck. I wore it with pride but I have had much difficulty accepting His poly lifestyle and this has led to U/us having many problems. At present I gave my chain and ring back to Him and asked to be released. What else could He do? He released me, much to both of O/our regrets. I soon ate crow and begged Him to take me back. He agreed to--next January. However, I am still under punishment for having asked to be released and I have neither collar nor ring on at present. This lack of adornment (for want of a better word) has shown me how precious my collar and ring are to me. I miss them terribly and look forward to the day that Master sees fit to give them back to me. I have nothing to show that I am His except the feelings in my heart and the vow that I will never again asked to be released. I am working on being a better slave and to serve Master to the best of my ability.

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 21

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:16:25 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

I have no interest in being collared so my collars are just accessories or used for restraint.
So really they have no deep meaning for me at present.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 22

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 8:55:26 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I have only actually put a collar on one sub, though I have had many others serve me. This was mostly for him. He needs that solid symbol to make him feel truly collared. When he is not with me, he has a tiny padlock on his keyring, I have the keys. It makes absolutely no difference to me, but I do understand that some do need something tangible. Collaring, physically or metaphorically, is something I would only do with someone I believe I will have a long term relationship with, not something I take lightly.

yes, yes, that!!! *bounces up and down, excitedly*

Sir understands that about me, that i REALLY need to know my place with him. i need that tangible item, that symbol, to make me feel owned and secure and loved, and he is willing to give that to me. the one argument we've had revolved around where am i in his life...and he made sure i was CERTAIN of where it was before it was over with.

he gave me his collar to wear for as long as i am his...and i've only had it off when it might be damaged, then put it immediately back on.

kitten

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 23

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 9:21:00 PM

Cyntilating

Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

I wear his collar in the 3rd position of my left ear. He pierced it through and placed it there as a symbol of our commitment to one another and that I am his. That one is permanent, and never comes out.
There have been times I have worn a leather collar ( of the dog type ) privately, for bondage purposes..

_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 24

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 9:41:46 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

I wore my Daddy's collar long before it was placed around my neck. In fact, our collaring ceremony was this summer, although we've been together quite a while. The physical collar is merely a manifestation of what our relationship entails. It has His intials on it and locks discreetly at the clasp. Neither of those things were requirements, per se. They just seemed fitting. Mostly it's a symbol, nothing more. I could live without it, but I would prefer not to...

His collar is a gift I look on with awe, and I think if you asked Him He would look at my acceptance the same way. There's something intrinsically magical about finding someone that understands your needs and is able to meet them. His collar is a symbol of that phenomenon.

There's one other thing...it makes me proud. When I'm standing in the mirror trying to get my makeup just right, it will glint just perfectly and make me smile. Someone in the world loves me enough to mark me as His and that is a very cool feeling.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 25

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 11:43:52 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

A collar paired with a leash is an effective way to make me crawl. It's a prop for me.

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 26

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/23/2007 11:50:45 PM

pinkme2

Posts: 236
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline

I've used one as a symbol of my attachment to a Dom, and the other time as a symbol of a power transfer for a weekend of play. Neither was intended for long term use, but rather as a tangible way to remind me of my place and keep my mind where it needed to be at that time. When I do get myself a Master, for the rest of my life, I suppose at that time we will decide how to show or commemorate that.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 27

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 12:37:21 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

I really regard collars as just another piece of jewelry. Nothing more and, more importantly, nothing less. Perhaps they are best compared to rings. I buy one for myself because it is pretty and I like the way it looks on my neck or matches an outfit. I buy one because it is durable and will hold during playtime. Valyraen could buy one for playtime and it would mean something to me because he bought it, like the ring from him I wear on my finger. And someday, fate willing, he will put one around my neck that will have a similar meaning to a wedding band.

Just jewelry. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/24/2007 12:49:21 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to pinkme2)

Post #: 28

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 12:44:59 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

~FR~

I have a tattoo which marks me as his and a physical manifestation in the form of his collar which is the symbol of my promise to obey. I also wear his wedding ring as a sign of my vow to be by his side with the hopes it will last as long as we do and I'm honored that he bestowed his own name on me when we wed. Each mark and symbol is precious to me and speaks to the level of committment I've made to him but the most important collar is the one which is invisible and lies around my heart. Without that one, the rest are meaningless.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 29

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 12:46:09 AM

SubmissiveLion

Posts: 40
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

I look at a collar as something special.

A collar to me represents many things, among them: My pledge to my Sub to always think of her well being, emotional and physical health, her sexual needs and her happiness. It is a pledge of love for someone that makes me happy to be around. For her it means I own her, all the way to her soul, she will do what I ask without question(well maybe a few, but that's what spankings are for) she will watch for my needs and make sure that I am happy. That is the first level of the collar, a training collar. Then when she has proved herself, she gets one to wear publically, to show her that not only do I love her in the bedroom or when I am the master but in all her daily activites and that when she needs her master to care for her I will be there.

The last one is the lifelong collar, an eternal pledge to love and care for her, and her eternal pledge to love and care for her master.

I prefer to make them myself. Its not easy but if your going to give someone something that means anything to you, there should be some effort in creating it.

(in reply to pinkme2)

Post #: 30

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 12:49:45 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Collars ... well they have several meanings for Me but I am careful to make absolutely clear what meaning is attached to each one at that point in time!

Play - both Master and I have used play collars - leather ones usually, sometimes with leashes - both as a temporary "possession" token for that play session, and for practical uses such as restraint, leading etc. Hard to do puppy play without one! And for "casual" subs, they often like the feeling of being "Mine" for the next 2 hours or so until I remove it.

Adornment - I have a lovely black and purple leather collar, set with a huge cut amethyst in centre front - I wear this when it's not too hot. I also have a purple dog collar with diamantes (and a matching leash!) ... love to wear that out too, especially to bdsm events. I also have a stunning red and black leather and jewelled pendant collar which I sometimes like to wear when I am in full Domme mode.

Collar of consideration - OK this usually sets off a furore! However the way I choose to use it is this - Master and I live together 24/7. violet (my sub side) is His sub/slave but Jay (My Domme side) wants a sub, preferably one who can ultimately live in with Us 24/7. It's never easy to find a third who fits your family ... however, recently I have met a fem sub who might be a good match. I wanted a way of letting her know that I am serious about working towards 24/7 ... but it would be totally premature to collar her, given the depth of attachment I consider a collar to represent. So I have given her a collar of consideration ... a token that tells her this is what W/we are working towards ... We are considering her just as much as she is considering Us. This could be analogous to the old-fashioned friendship ring or even an engagement ring, a token given to indicate people are working towards a permanent future together. In this case it is a medallion consisting of 3 hearts inside a circle ... 2 hearts on top and 1 beneath ... which I thought was very fitting symbolism. Master and i bought matching silver rings as tokens of O/our mutual commitment after living together for 5 months. W/we both still wear them daily.

Collaring - I consider this a very deep commitment, analogous to a wedding ceremony (and no, I don't want to get into that old legality argument again). I will only give a collar when I truly believe there is a solid future. I have to sadly admit that the one I gave My ex-hubby didn't work out ... but then, neither did the marriage! Because, being married, W/we were used to both giving and receiving a token, W/we chose custom made anklets set with matching opals that had been mined from the underground hotel room W/we stayed in in Coober Pedy. Anklets suited, as he could then wear it 24/7 without detection in his professional occupation. Master lived with me for 2 years before He was ready to collar me ... W/we chose to have a silver identity-style bracelet custom made to match the silver rings with v[A] in gold in the centre. It's subtle, more practical than something around my neck in a hot climate, and would only be removed if i had to go into hospital or some such.

So there's My take on collars, from both sides of me!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to pinkme2)

Post #: 31

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 1:04:27 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Oh what fun!
I guess a collar is experiential rather than conceptual/constructional.

Prinsexx

(in reply to leatherette)

Post #: 32

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 4:17:15 AM

slaveofKaos

Posts: 143
Joined: 2/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

A collar to me is a sign of ownership, a promise to be loyal, honest, obediant and everything else that comes with being in a serious relationship. Its a physical reminder, something you can feel around your neck that will send one in to thought about how much you love being a slave and especially the owned property of your Master or Mistress.
A collar can also be something that is just used for play. A collar can also come in many different forms; a collar that goes around ones neck, an anklet, a ring, a tattoo, brand, neckless, piercing, and so many other things.

< Message edited by slaveofKaos -- 9/24/2007 4:18:54 AM >

_____________________________

slave jodi

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 33

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 5:15:56 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Bondage gear.

Is that all it means to you? Is it just a costume?

M. Shibari

To me it is just a bondage gear and as you suggested, a costume.

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 34

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 5:17:09 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i have 3 collars however the one that means the most to me is the steel gor eternity collar that's around my neck. it's a symbol of our eternal love and commitment as Daddydaughter. it was a very special moment when he locked it (i do have a key as well in case i want to switch between my other ones). plus not only do i wear His collar but i also wear His slave ankle and wrist chains too.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 35

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 5:21:42 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

We have one for play and one that is the one that he gave me when I became his. The one he gave to me is the one that shows our comittment to each other.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 36

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 5:49:55 AM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

Being that i have been having this conversation with a few people for awhile now. I decided to post my question similar to this in the Gorean forum since that is where alot of the conversations have been.

I believe there are alot of great answers there as well as here.

I will say that i agree with a few that the collar is only a symbol....what i stated in the other forum is: A collar does not make the slave

I happen to enjoy wearing the symbol that Thorns put upon my neck. However, due to some health issues, i am not able to wear a collar 24/7.

It's been interesting to see the different responses.

Happy Monday y'all!!

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 37

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 6:07:02 AM

greyarcher315

Posts: 99
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline

For me, a collar is two things right now. The forst is a goal, as i would like to find some one who will collar me. The second thing, no matter what form it takes, a collar means stability and security. But being as it is symbolic to me, its meaning will likely change over time.

(in reply to DWCdelight)

Post #: 38

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 6:17:43 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

It keeps my tie from slipping around and hanging down my back.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 39

RE: What does a collar actually mean to you. - 9/24/2007 6:18:20 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz

A collar does not make the slave

i agree.

my collars never made me submissive - i was already submissive most of my life however it merely took me awhile to discover that side of me. Daddy's collars are symbols of His ownership, commitment and eternal love ...the keys He keeps (and i have spares) are His symbols of the daughter under His care, trust, love and committed promise to her.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to smilezz)

Post #: 40

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