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MasterShibari -> What does a collar actually mean to you. (9/23/2007 7:15:31 PM)
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Those of you who have read my posts before, know that on these forums, I am primarily interested in the psychological aspects of BDSM and the lifestyle in general. Also, I like to phrase my questions by using myself as an example, and then asking for others to share their views or experiences.
I’ve discussed with many people, both here and in my local community, the three collars that are so prevalent among members of the old guard leather community. These being the “collar of consideration,” the “training collar,” and the “slave collar.” However, I know that for many, collars have come to take on a new meaning.
Over a year ago, a submissive whom I was dating brought up the subject of collars with me. She wished to wear something to signify her submission to me, a mark to show she was mine. After much discussion with her, it rapidly became clear to both of us that what we both wanted was not an inch and a half of padlocked black leather to show to the world that she was my slave, because honestly, she wasn’t. Instead, we discovered that we both wanted something a bit more subtle, though still quite obviously S/m, for her to wear.
For both of us, this collar (and the key to it which I wore about my neck) signified that she belonged to me, as I also belonged to her. Rather then the sometimes temporary or short-lived nature of a collar of training, this was to be a long lasting symbol of our union, which also happened to show those who were at least semi knowledgeable about the lifestyle that she was submissive to me.
For me, the meaning of a collar is fluid, something that must be discussed carefully with each D/s relationship. However, I am interested in what a collar means to you. What the collar you are wearing now, or wore in the past, represented. What the band of leather or chain that you placed around her/his neck signified to you both. I’d love to hear from experienced members of the old guard, fresh faced beginners, and anyone in between.
M. Shibari
By the way:
In my profile, I clearly state that I have never collared a slave. When I say that (and perhaps I should clarify on my profile) I have never collared a slave, I mean that I have never placed a collar on one I consider my slave. I do not mean I have never collared anyone. Feel free to message me if you want a better explanation about this, or anything else I’ve said.
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