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Shibari - 9/26/2007 5:58:26 PM

Posts: 126
Joined: 9/4/2007
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Master and i have recently become interested in shibari and are trying it out. Due to some painful past history, i am somewhat hesitant, but with the trust i have in Master, am very willing at the same time............

Anyone have any comments or advice for me to get past the memories?

_____________________________

M

RE: Shibari - 9/26/2007 6:13:22 PM

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Joined: 8/26/2007
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Sounds to me like your issue is less about shibari and more about triggers and learning when trust in your partner still isn't enough to enjoy reopening doors that you'd shut. I'm not saying it is wrong or easy, but perhaps a different focus.

Perhaps your partner ought to start slow, be it with body and chest harnesses like the hishi karada, or perhaps doing partial suspensions (single limb, for instance), while you get used to the rope used, the partner's skill and technique, etc.
-Solar

_____________________________

Vici, Vidi, Veni... (S)

Happy to be owned by Sir (V) (violetaelf)

(in reply to AEslaveM)

RE: Shibari - 9/26/2007 8:59:45 PM

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Joined: 7/28/2006
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Slow and easy . . . and communication . . . being in ropes can be amazing, and very trust building. I would suggest that you simply discuss your areas of discomfort, and practice together slowly. In my experience, shibari is not painful, when done correctly it is beautiful, together you and your Dom create art out of the ropes and your body. If your Dom is inexperienced, take classes, seminars . . . and while your Dom practices on you, focus on the beauty of it, keep your sense of humor close at hand, it could be really fun and connective!

(in reply to SolarAndViolet)

RE: Shibari - 9/26/2007 9:23:33 PM

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Joined: 1/25/2006
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The lovely thing about shibari, is it can be as restrictive as you want it to be, or not at all. My only suggestion is to go slow. I am not aware of your past issues, so can't comment at all on what triggers you may have. If you are having difficulty with actually being restrained, you may find it helpful to start with strictly decorative ties first.

Shibari is wonderfully modular, so a lot of the foundation pieces (shinju, kikkou, matanawa) look and feel nice, but don't actually restrict you at all. The real action happens when you use those foundations as attachment points. Theres also a lot of other things that could be used to be restrictive, or as an attachment point, or can just sit and look pretty, like rope ladders for example. There's also a lot of techniques you can use that involve very little knotting at all, are very comfortable, structurally sound, and quick and easy to release (I recommend Two Knotty Boys for examples).

I am not sure about your master's skill level or experience, but if you need resources, or have any specific questions, I'm always happy to banter about rope. :)

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to AEslaveM)

RE: Shibari - 9/26/2007 9:32:45 PM

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Joined: 8/26/2007
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As am I, referencing always being ready to banter about rope. :)

Ever consider going to ShibariCon? It's a damn fine time.
-S

_____________________________

Vici, Vidi, Veni... (S)

Happy to be owned by Sir (V) (violetaelf)

(in reply to iammachine)

RE: Shibari - 9/26/2007 11:04:14 PM

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Joined: 1/25/2006
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I missed last (err... this) year thanks to finals. I plan on applying to volunteer for this coming year, after having been referenced by one of the producer's at another con. :P '08 is going to be a busy year for kinky conferences for me.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to SolarAndViolet)

RE: Shibari - 10/3/2007 4:29:03 PM

e01n

Posts: 1472
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I second the recommendation of ShibariCon... I went to 2004 and have been kicking myself for missing the ones since due to work obligations. I'm also kicking myself for not flirting more with one of the volunteers... but that's another story.

Worst case, it's an excuse to have a great weekend in Chicago with people of similar/like mind.

(in reply to iammachine)

RE: Shibari - 10/3/2007 8:25:23 PM

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: e01n

I second the recommendation of ShibariCon... I went to 2004 and have been kicking myself for missing the ones since due to work obligations. I'm also kicking myself for not flirting more with one of the volunteers... but that's another story.

Worst case, it's an excuse to have a great weekend in Chicago with people of similar/like mind.

Shibaricon Rocks...I volunteered that year.... Medic/security/DM.....interestingly enough *S*

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to e01n)

RE: Shibari - 10/4/2007 8:38:47 AM

Wyrd

Posts: 109
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Columbia, SC
Status: offline

It would depend on what the painful issues are, if you are afraid of being restrained, there are non-restraining forms of bondage, if something else causing a fear of any bondage, then you may have to go slow and communicate a great deal. You are in NC, which means you are close to a few people who do advanced rope bondage if you want to go to a demo they do at some point to see it done.

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My Site

(in reply to earthycouple)

RE: Shibari - 10/4/2007 7:18:26 PM

classykindasassy

Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

Shibaricon GOOD!!! I am wearing my t-shirt from last year. It will put rope in a whole new perspective for you as you see people doing cool things with it, and people loving it. Make new memories with your new rope top.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to AEslaveM)

RE: Shibari - 10/4/2007 9:53:40 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I was thinking just the same .
I agree with this 100%

puppy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ownerless

Slow and easy . . . and communication . . . being in ropes can be amazing, and very trust building. I would suggest that you simply discuss your areas of discomfort, and practice together slowly. In my experience, shibari is not painful, when done correctly it is beautiful, together you and your Dom create art out of the ropes and your body. If your Dom is inexperienced, take classes, seminars . . . and while your Dom practices on you, focus on the beauty of it, keep your sense of humor close at hand, it could be really fun and connective!

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to Ownerless)

RE: Shibari - 10/5/2007 5:35:24 PM

Posts: 126
Joined: 9/4/2007
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History has to do with the restraint itself, and things that come after. Master is very patient and understanding, and we talk about it. Baby steps.............

Thanks for all of the encouragement and advice..............

Looking forward to the next session.......... :)

M

_____________________________

M

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

RE: Shibari - 10/5/2007 8:03:10 PM

subsa

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/3/2006
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just a bit of advice from a novice...my Master and i have played around with rope and some technique books. it was fun so i can't relate to the anxiety. BUT we went to a hands on demo last weekend. it really changed my perspective. it was a totally different experience when we were guided through it. it dropped me right into sub-space. there was no fumbling with the book, just the sensuousness of the rope and Him and me. it was like no one else was there at times. i'd highly recommend that you try it in that type of setting unless your Sir already has a lot of experience. we've tried some of the techniques at home this week and it was just lovely!

(in reply to AEslaveM)

RE: Shibari - 10/5/2007 9:12:04 PM

Posts: 126
Joined: 9/4/2007
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Master TOUCHES me and i am in subspace...............! We are learning this together..........so it is all good.........

:)

M

_____________________________

M

(in reply to subsa)

RE: Shibari - 10/14/2007 5:05:14 AM

Posts: 156
Joined: 5/9/2006
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Glad it's working out, AEslaveM. I'd avoid suspension unless your Master is well versed in the techniques and understands nerve paths and how not to compromise them. It's a whole different ball game and has lots of potential for mishap.

Iamachine, at the risk of seeming pedantic, from what I have seen, The Two Knotty Boys are doing Western bondage with a Japanese twist. It is not strictly speaking Shibari/Kinbaku as they incorporate a lot of fancy knots and non-standard stuff. Check out the work of Arisue Go, Randa Mai, Osada Steve etc. for the real McCoy

(in reply to AEslaveM)

RE: Shibari - 10/14/2007 12:26:15 PM

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
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quote:

Iamachine, at the risk of seeming pedantic, from what I have seen, The Two Knotty Boys are doing Western bondage with a Japanese twist. It is not strictly speaking Shibari/Kinbaku as they incorporate a lot of fancy knots and non-standard stuff. Check out the work of Arisue Go, Randa Mai, Osada Steve etc. for the real McCoy

You are correct. To be honest, fancy sounding (key word sounding, here) Japanese words are tossed around so much amongst the western bondage community, that I have become a bit desensitized to their use and generally employ more literal translations. I am simultaneously both skeptical and very open about the use and interpretation of such terms. My personal style is very much a fusion, and I tend to take many words rather literally these days as opposed to attributing fashion to them (shibari, afterall, literally just means "to tie"). This is probably in part due to my being immersed in Japanese culture a fair amount of the time (I work at a Japanese establishment, where the majority of our clientel is also Japanese), and being much less cavalier about assigning attributes to a lot of things as western interpretation of Japanese styles of many things can be a bit different than actual practices. That's just me, though.

I recomended TKB more because I think that their style is easy for a rope beginner to follow, and they have easily accessible vids online. There are, of course, many other resources out there, and resources that specialize more in Japanese style bondage. Me, I dig rope in all its styles and forms. :)

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to Esinem)

RE: Shibari - 10/18/2007 7:17:13 PM

Posts: 156
Joined: 5/9/2006
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Just watched the star harness demo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsvBNX0ndQY). Very pretty but the knots look quite complex to me when compared with the minimal number of knots in kinbaku. Still each to their own, eh? However, I hope that harness is not being recommended for suspension of any kind as the upper arm bindings worry me from the point of radial nerve compression.

(in reply to iammachine)

RE: Shibari - 10/18/2007 11:41:05 PM

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Joined: 1/25/2006
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quote:

Very pretty but the knots look quite complex to me when compared with the minimal number of knots in kinbaku.

That's kind of one of the things that TKB do.

Fancy knots are their thing, and are pretty to look at. Not everything they do involves celtic knotwork, however.

To be honest, I would hope that anyone that is wanting to tackle a suspension would learn from an expert hands on, rather than looking at books or online tutorials. I think it's pretty safe to say, that any work that involves a lot of extra decoration, probably isn't recomended for load bearing.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to Esinem)

RE: Shibari - 10/19/2007 8:27:04 AM

Posts: 126
Joined: 9/4/2007
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No suspension......yet... :)

I am finding great freedom in the ropes...........the point where i just have to accept the helplessness and enjoy the sensations is awesome!

_____________________________

M

(in reply to iammachine)

RE: Shibari - 10/19/2007 10:41:41 AM

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AEslaveM

No suspension......yet... :)

I am finding great freedom in the ropes...........the point where i just have to accept the helplessness and enjoy the sensations is awesome!

It is quite tasty isn't it? :)

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to AEslaveM)

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