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extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/26/2007 11:44:38 PM   
daisymae03


Posts: 64
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline 		So, i was just curious, Do any submissive ever take anything "special" to there first meeting, with well anyone from online? and i dont meet special liek in toys. i mean in liek an extra precaution. personally, i usually have a small can of mase, my cell phone, a small note explaining who i am , who i was with where we were going adn what we were planning on doing {mainly cause a note like that dropped in a car or in a place thats easily found if something were to happen to me could get me found( as i dont play on teh first meeting)}  and a credit card ( nothin better for emergency money than platinum). if im feeling especially nervous there may be apocket knife or lighter in my purse as well
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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/27/2007 3:35:50 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Ack I've been cloned!!!

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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/27/2007 9:02:34 PM   
sundownhawk


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline 		I just did a large post on this, hopefully it may help: Safety and meeting someone for the first time
As far as mace or anything else like that, any weapon you would have with you make sure your have had training in it. As far as mace goes, I have had it in my face before and it does not slow me down at all, I can also fight through pepper spray. Many others those have much more effect on, but there are plenty of folks I know that those items would not stop. Also remember these items can affect you as well as your attacker when deployed.
As far as self defense, find a good instructor, have them teach you a few basic moves and then learn them until they are second nature. Much better than trying to learn every possible response to every possible attack. Your objective to to stun your opponent and give you a chance to escape.
As a side note, anything you need to take time to get out of your purse will slow your reaction time enough that a serious aggressor will have already made his/her move.

(in reply to camille65)
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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/27/2007 9:03:59 PM   
sundownhawk


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline 		P.S. cloned hotties! I like!

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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/27/2007 9:06:11 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		don't take the note with you...leave it at home....wait...what am I saying... I guess I dont carry mace because I spend ALOT of time talking to people before I meet them and then I meet them in public at least once before being alone with them.  Is that absolutely foolproof, no, but then again, my odds of using mace successfully against a man aren't either.  I think your best precaution is patience and really taking the time to get to know the person as well as you can before meeting.
l

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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/27/2007 10:17:12 PM   
daisymae03


Posts: 64
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline 		well i do talk to them a lot before i meet them, but still, i try to be cautious im quite attached to my body, i dont want permanent damge done to it. and just cause you talk to someone online and on the phone doesnt mean they still arent lying. and as for meeting in public, if im taking the precautions dont youthink im meeting them in public? yeah maybe mine are overkill but better safe than sorry. i wasnt asking adice fo rhow to better protect myself, i was asking what others were doing.

(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/27/2007 10:44:31 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		That is my advice and is what I do, and by alot I mean til they can't answer questions anymore.  No intent to offend, sorry.
l

(in reply to daisymae03)
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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/27/2007 11:23:20 PM   
MstrssScarlet


Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daisymae03

well i do talk to them a lot before i meet them, but still, i try to be cautious im quite attached to my body, i dont want permanent damge done to it. and just cause you talk to someone online and on the phone doesnt mean they still arent lying. and as for meeting in public, if im taking the precautions dont youthink im meeting them in public? yeah maybe mine are overkill but better safe than sorry. i wasnt asking adice fo rhow to better protect myself, i was asking what others were doing.


I really don't want to hijack this thread (especially since laurell3 explained herself), but it seems like every time a question is phrased such as yours, it brings in tons of lectures from every know-it-all on the site.  I once posted a thread titled "What would YOU do?" and I don't think one single person told me what they would do until after they had given me a lecture about what I had done wrong.  Some were more gracious than others, but some were downright rude and ended up making me regret I ever posted the topic.
Sorry about the rant.
Now then...it sounds like you have thought this out very carefully.  I personally used safecalls or brought someone with me to the meeting place, even if they weren't at the same table.  Your idea about leaving a note is very good.  I also attended some self defense classes that were geared for just such a situation.  The most important thing I remember was never leave with your attacker.  Always put up a fight while you are still in public.  You may have already thought of this. 
I'm a pro domme and meet strangers all the time.  I make sure my husband knows who I am with and what time to expect the session to begin and end.  I call him before we leave (usually in front of the client) and let him know once again who I am with and when to expect me to be finished.
Mistress Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to daisymae03)
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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/28/2007 1:36:22 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings daisymae,

i always let someone know where i am going, but i rarely arrange safe calls or take a lot of other precautions. usually when i meet someone offline for the first time, i do it at a coffee shop or a restaurant within walking distance of my house (because i do not drive and i will not get into a car with someone i've just met), in full daylight.

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)
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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/28/2007 2:54:32 AM   
sundownhawk


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

well i do talk to them a lot before i meet them, but still, i try to be cautious im quite attached to my body, i dont want permanent damge done to it. and just cause you talk to someone online and on the phone doesnt mean they still arent lying. and as for meeting in public, if im taking the precautions dont youthink im meeting them in public? yeah maybe mine are overkill but better safe than sorry. i wasnt asking adice fo rhow to better protect myself, i was asking what others were doing.
ORIGINAL: daisymae03

Anyone you meet, anywhere, anytime has the potential to be a nut. It could be someone you met in the bar down the street from your house, your concerns are valid.
What others are doing...I use the same things that I put inthe guide I linked to and reccomend that anyone I meet to the same or more. How to meet, when to meet, where to meet and precautions are always advised to minimize risk. I never take offense to them being precautious either.

(Editied for the dreaded double quote)


< Message edited by sundownhawk -- 9/28/2007 2:55:30 AM >

(in reply to daisymae03)
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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/30/2007 5:39:59 PM   
ClubMix


Posts: 75
Joined: 9/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

don't take the note with you...leave it at home....wait...what am I saying... I guess I dont carry mace because I spend ALOT of time talking to people before I meet them and then I meet them in public at least once before being alone with them.  Is that absolutely foolproof, no, but then again, my odds of using mace successfully against a man aren't either.  I think your best precaution is patience and really taking the time to get to know the person as well as you can before meeting.
l


Well talking to them a lot is fine and dandy. But not all rapists are foaming lunatics who will crack under the pressure of a few questions. A lot of them are really just average-seeming people.

Approximately 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives. (Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994)

You can`t really tell someone`s a rapist until they are.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 9/30/2007 8:29:01 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		As a Woman, oops.

If you are a Woman, going to a first meet, why the hell would you go alone ?

If I were a Woman, I would take a friend, drop them off at the door and let her go in first. Park the car and then go in. The friend has the same cues as you do to find this guy. They can easily scan the situation. He or she can also see if any others are talking to him, possible cohorts.

I think it's a damn shame we gotta think about things like this, but oh well. If we have to learn the ways of espionage to go on a date, whaddya gonna do, stop ? I guess we're stuck with it.

T

(in reply to ClubMix)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 10/2/2007 1:10:19 AM   
DagnyTaggart


Posts: 32
Joined: 11/4/2006
Status: offline 		There are several things I do to protect myself and bolster my confidence but I'm not going to share them here. I'm not trying to be coy and I think it's great to exchange information but some things are best kept as secrets among close, personal, trusted friends.

*hint *hint *cough*cough

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 10/3/2007 10:02:23 PM   
searching4moreak


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline 		I have had a couple online meetings I always leave at home contact info of who im tlaking to logs of caht histories and any and all information on a file on my desktop with the days date. My family and I are very close so I tell my mom the information is there and I always arrange a safe call .....I have a son so my code is somethign like this hes had his meds already today is alls well, Take his temp and call me back is i need more time to decide or want a follow up call ... and Ill meet you at the hospital is I need an out...... whenever ive met people offline that required a flight...I follow the advice listed above take platinum you can always find a hotel and take in a show if the person weirds you out. I also have a strict rule that I dont play until I have developed a certain level of trust in a  relationship.

Sorry for my lack of punctuation im totally tired

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 10/3/2007 10:30:36 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Meet in public, of course.  Have as much info about the person before you meet and keep mad money with you and a cell. Try to avoid going into his car but if you do perhaps text or call a friend with his lisc. plate number whether he knows you are doing this or not.  If you prefer to be private about it, write it on a napkin and do the texting from the washroom. If he is a good guy, he won't mind you sending that info to a pal 'in case' of emergency.  I have even taken a waitress aside at the end of a meal, told her it is a blind internet date and asked if the name I was given by him correlated with the name on the credit card she was given.  lol.  You can never be too safe. 

(in reply to searching4moreak)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 10/7/2007 12:29:08 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Allow a few friends know where you are going. Let them know that if they aren't called at such and such time then something must be wrong. Also, give them the number of the person you are planning on meeting with. Cell or home number, his number can be traced to his residental address. Should you never return home, everyone will know where to start looking.

In the process of meeting people and having blind dates, this is as safe as you can get. As prepared as you are, I hope you never have to use any of these precautions to save your life. May each risk you take turn out to be aleast safe if not also enjoyable. 

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 10/7/2007 1:13:09 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ClubMix

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

don't take the note with you...leave it at home....wait...what am I saying... I guess I dont carry mace because I spend ALOT of time talking to people before I meet them and then I meet them in public at least once before being alone with them.  Is that absolutely foolproof, no, but then again, my odds of using mace successfully against a man aren't either.  I think your best precaution is patience and really taking the time to get to know the person as well as you can before meeting.
l


Well talking to them a lot is fine and dandy. But not all rapists are foaming lunatics who will crack under the pressure of a few questions. A lot of them are really just average-seeming people.

Approximately 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives. (Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994)

You can`t really tell someone`s a rapist until they are.


Obviously you can't tell if someone is a rapist, that's true and I guess we take risks meeting people all the time even in vanilla life. 
Since the person you are meeting isn't a husband, boyfriend, aquaintance or relative, how do your statistics help?  They don't.
The bigger reality and fear for me is the person will be unbalanced and a stalker.  Talking can filter out many of these types of personalities.  I have a very good idea of who they are, where they live, where they work and many other various details about their lives that I check out before meeting them as well.
l

(in reply to ClubMix)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 10/7/2007 7:21:19 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I almost forgot, it never hurts to make sure your Car and Cell Phone have GPS. If you end up being kidnapped, GPS could save your life. Should the worse ever happen, atleast GPS will help in Justice being served.

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 10/7/2007 7:34:28 AM   
BruisedHick


Posts: 123
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		First off, if you meet in public, you are no more at risk than the guy at the next table over.  You meet for a coffee, sitting  feet from not only this potential whackjob, but several others in the same coffeeshop.  Then maybe a hug, and both go in different directions.

If you go somewhere, stay in public.  Taxi, public transport, whatever.  He can't hijack the subway.

If he tries raping you in line at Starbucks, you'll have a whole group of hippies for you.

At the end of the day, make sure you trust this guy before you make yourself vulnerable, and you don't need the mace.  If you go to his house alone on the first meet, you run a risk about as high as when you pick up at a bar (provided you did your research).

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RE: extra precautions besides a safe call - 10/7/2007 7:45:31 AM   
MstrDennynSlave


Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline 		I always made sure my family knew where I was going, what time I was meeting the person, who the person was, and what time to expect me back. If the first meeting went longer than expected, due to hitting it off and talking more, I called home to my daughter. I never ever went with anyone, anywhere, on the first meeting. Only one person did I ever feel uncomfortable with, enough so that I never saw him again. He kept calling me wanting to meet again. Wouldnt take no for an answer. Finally told him if he didnt stop calling me, I'd get him for phone harrasement.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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