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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 8:07:41 AM

LordVelvet

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chia,
I may have to Switch to check out the house :-)
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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 8:30:29 AM

Alyoop

Posts: 138
Joined: 6/16/2007
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Hello,

As a slave that recently has gone through (and is still struggeling through) this type of situation, a safe house would be a god send. I think you have a wonderful idea.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 11:28:25 AM

KatyLied

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Anyone who would give up things or not make arrangements for their future security is stupid.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 11:36:51 AM

fadedlace

Posts: 137
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From: Louisiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Anyone who would give up things or not make arrangements for their future security is stupid.

If you can't find someone to completely and utterly trust with your future and "things," yes, for you it would be stupid. For some, it's the way they live. Total surrender. The trick is finding someone completely trustworthy and capable of managing your future and "things" well.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 11:39:06 AM

KatyLied

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I would never completely surrender, and I"m okay with that. I have a primary responsbility to retain the things I've worked hard for, along with property that will remain in the family. I've been divorced and had to start over. I won't do that again.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 11:39:53 AM

goalie62

Posts: 114
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
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I still maintain that any sub that is with me should have her own job and a bank account. The reason I ask for this is to give her a sense of security. I love younger women, much younger women, the greatest chance is that I will pass long before they do and I want to know that they will not be financially screwed when it happens. I think that I lean more towards a "Daddy Dom" in that respect. She can work part time I have no problem paying the bills, but I want her to have the ability to work and save and be ready for whatever the future may hold.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 12:40:03 PM

toservez

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedlace

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Anyone who would give up things or not make arrangements for their future security is stupid.

If you can't find someone to completely and utterly trust with your future and "things," yes, for you it would be stupid. For some, it's the way they live. Total surrender. The trick is finding someone completely trustworthy and capable of managing your future and "things" well.

Completely trustworthy is a person not afraid to have tangible proof of the other being taken care of. It is the property in both names. It is a money in some form in the submissive's name.

Trust is not a substitute for sanity and common sense.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 12:49:27 PM

KatyLied

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quote:

Trust is not a substitute for sanity and common sense.

Yep, this is how I feel about it as well.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 1:13:59 PM

litleone8620

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quote:

If you can't find someone to completely and utterly trust with your future and "things," yes, for you it would be stupid. For some, it's the way they live. Total surrender. The trick is finding someone completely trustworthy and capable of managing your future and "things" well.

I wouldn't trust my partner if he didn't allow me my own money and a nest egg to fall back on in case things don't work out.

I'm willing to surrender myself, but not the security in my future.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 1:17:40 PM

camille65

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From: Austin Texas
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Financial domination is a hard hard limit of mine. They are my assets and my future, literally my well-being.

Financial advise however is welcome. Budgeting help won't be turned away either.

I will always protect myself and my future.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/28/2007 1:54:15 PM

Constanza

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I would never completely surrender, and I"m okay with that. I have a primary responsbility to retain the things I've worked hard for, along with property that will remain in the family. I've been divorced and had to start over. I won't do that again.

I totaly agree there.... just be upfront with what you expect and make good agreements. Works like every other relationship.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 12:50:25 AM

obis

Posts: 412
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This sounds like a really lame pickup line. "On the rebound? Come live at my sub farm!"

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 5:51:02 AM

donnaamarie

Posts: 335
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There are actually safe houses of sorts for subs left with nothing after they are released. I know they exist in the mid-west and they are merely a design from folks in the lifestyle who provide a safe existence until a sub/slave can get on their feet again. I think this particular one is associated with one of the local BDSM groups, but I do not have facts on it. It is more a word of mouth support system that exists for situations like this.

As far as having a commune, well, I guess to each his/her own. I can't imagine wanting to heal in a place where people were as screwed up as me. Sometimes shared tragedy breeds a kind of co-dependency that would be counter productive to healing.

Nice of you to think of it though.

donna

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 6:09:02 AM

Aileen68

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I think that the only time finances and assets should be mixed is when two people are married. Otherwise, monies should be kept seperate.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 7:15:03 AM

Cyntilating

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Joined: 6/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

Thank you for helping perpetuate the stereotype of the helpless submissive who when becoming involved with someone loses reality of life.

These are relationships and they end like all other relationships. Being a slave and not looking out for yourself are two separate issues.

I would think it would be more protective if people took the time and energy to stop the stereotype so at least more who are susceptible to what you describe would happen less.

There is a difference, and not lifestyle related, of taking care of yourself and hitching yourself blindly to a person. Plenty of vanilla women who do the same thing, find a man, shack up, do not work and then are left scrambling when the relationship goes bad.

absolutely toservez !! great post !

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 7:45:37 AM

KatyLied

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We have a winner!

quote:

I can't imagine wanting to heal in a place where people were as screwed up as me.

I agree. Can you imagine the "oh poor me, I'm broke and have no where to go because I trusted someone and threw away my common sense" nonsense that would be going on at a place like that.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 8:02:52 AM

RRafe

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There should always be a safety net and exit strategy in place. Forever seldom is.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 8:31:11 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Trust is not a substitute for sanity and common sense.

Yep, this is how I feel about it as well.

Ditto on all that. You cannot confuse the romantic ideal of complete and utter trust with the reality of life, finances and security.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 8:35:18 AM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Trust is not a substitute for sanity and common sense.

Yep, this is how I feel about it as well.

Ditto on all that. You cannot confuse the romantic ideal of complete and utter trust with the reality of life, finances and security.

Exactly. Nor should a person knock thier own legs from beneath them-and count entirely on another person to enable them.

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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 9:19:37 AM

honestsub4real

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lol at ChiaThePet..............where have you been? lol................and to the OP, is wayward the same as a SAM? LOL...................I'll come.............hahaha!

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