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RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 9:26:30 AM

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I think that the only time finances and assets should be mixed is when two people are married. Otherwise, monies should be kept seperate.

Exactly. When a marriage ends, the assets are divided in court and very seldom is a woman left with nothing. Without marriage, there is no such protection. Subs should stay away from wanna-be Doms that want control of their finances.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to Aileen68)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 7:16:30 PM

valkyriesdaughte

Posts: 38
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline

There are numerous "homes" for wayward whatevers who were stupid enough to get stuck with a gaggle of kids and no home/money/employment skills to support themselves, much less their ever growing brood-they're known as "public housing projects".

As a hystorically politacally underrepresented population, wayward subs/slaves should qualify for grant money for outreach programs to ensure their needs are met. Why stop at mere housing and food? Think big- schools, medical clinics, mental health counseling, job training programs; we can have out very own kinky ghetto!!

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/29/2007 9:35:34 PM

Posts: 32
Status: offline

If you feel the need for a safe house for a couple of months or more, then you need to start making better decissions and take responsibilty for yourself. Dont sit around everyday waiting for someone to save you. You need to save yourself.

If a slave is so imcompetent that they are unable to take care of themselves, how can anyone want her/him. There is a huge difference between a slave and someone looking for free rides the rest of their lifes. Anyone can clean a house and enjoy bondage. Do you feel the need to be rewarded for cleaning a house? If so, you are not a slave. Are you waiting for someone to accept you for the way you are? Or do you need training?

Reading your profile and some of your postings you seem confused at what you are. Its like you are trying to be dominate everywhere and pretend to be slave material. A switch maybe? You would have better luck being who you are instead of making yourself something you want.

Just my thoughts. Your posts are like double standards. Minipulating the facts to get the results you want doesnt mean you have the right answers. Does that make since?

(in reply to Alyoop)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/30/2007 12:03:32 AM

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

most of the time, when this situation does occur, it is the sub/slave that gets the shaft.

Maybe adding "in your experience" would help here alot, rather than in absolutes. i have, in fact, known of cases where it was the Dom who ended up with nothing. i would like to think that they would both be honorable enough not to shaft the other.. but then i believe in Santa Claus and the tooth ferie too..lol.

On the practicle side, a place such as you describe is expensive, and it sounds like it would be out in the country. What would you do with such wounded "birds" who need not just clothes and food, but emotional help, a job, their family...and the list goes on..

i wish you luck if ya get it though :)

cheers
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/30/2007 3:34:51 AM

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

When I first started in this lifestyle, my first Master had what some would reffer to as a harem. It suited me at the time and I learned a bunch, but I digress. Being known in the community would often bring people in need to His doorstep. These people were Masters, Doms, subs, slaves, and everything in between. They didn't want to deal with the reality of having to out themselves in order to receive outside help (in come cases). In other cases, it was people that didn't want to admit to being taken advantage of or abused. The not wanting to admit abuse was generally because the abuse was by someone also known in the community.

Sometimes these were power games where someone wanted to get back at an ex or someone who just wanted a free ride, but there were those who genuiniely needed help. And, they got it...from abuse shelters and counselors equipped to deal with these situations. This wasn't about turning people away, but about turning people towards help.

I meant what I said earlier...adopt pound puppies.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/30/2007 4:02:20 AM

Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline

I can understand the desire to help- on the surface, it sounds great. When my husband abandoned me without warning, years ago, leaving me a with no $, a small child- and no job (as I was a stay home mom, which was a decision we had both made)- I wished such a place existed. When I managed to struggle through, coming out a bit worse for the wear-but very much 'okay'- I still thought it would be great for such a place to exist- so nobody else ever had to go through what I had to endure...

However, my thoughts on the subject have changed as the years have gone by. Going through what I did was a learning experience- one I really don't wish on anyone else. However, for those that DO go through it- there is a sense of accomplishment and empowerment in knowing that you can make it on your own. I faced adversity- found the courage and gumption to do what ~I~ needed to do and I did it. There are lessons to be learned in life's struggles- and without learning them, a person is doomed to repeating old patterns- because that is all they know.

I echo the sentiments of others here. If you truly want to help- compile a list of resources. Point them in the direction of those that can assist them in getting to where they need to be. But, don't give them a place to hide from reality. You would be doing them a great disservice if you did.

(in reply to spanklette)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/30/2007 4:15:37 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/15/2007
Status: offline

Considering life with or without a mate, being homeless just doesnt work. Depend on yourself.

(in reply to sweetNsmartBBW)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/30/2007 5:33:50 AM

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

How would you expect the penniless, homeless submissives to get to your 'home'? Or are there just a plethora of such submissives in Akron?

i echo the others here that setting up a list of resources by state would be much more helpful to a much greater number of people and would be a whole lot less expensive for yourself as well.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/30/2007 5:54:17 AM

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline

The combination of being submissive, naive and having little common sense in a recipe for disaster. I recently talked to a sub online who was in this situation. It was difficult to talk to her because she had such tunnel vision. I asked her if she ever checked references of this dom or did a background check. She said it never occurred to her. WHAT?? After more questioning she revealed she was bipolar. OK... enough said. She was incapable of caring for herself even on a daily basis with help let alone serving a Master's needs. I figured that out in 10 minutes of talking to her... I know the Master knew it also. He was a predator and she was a ready and willing victim. This isn't always the case I know but in this situation it was. She didn't want my help just looking for another helpful Master....rolling eyes...

(in reply to honestsub4real)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/30/2007 7:15:09 AM

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: honestsub4real

lol at ChiaThePet..............where have you been? lol................

i fell asleep under a tree at the local park, only to awaken in a strange
home with a Woman hovering inquisitively over me, a small child jumping
up and down at Her side tugging wildly at Her apron, insistant cries of,

"Can i keep it Mommy, huh, huh, can i, can i, i promise i'll feed it and stuff?!"

Where am i now?

"Hello, honestsub4real, this is your local law enforcement agency, the call is
coming from inside the house."

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to honestsub4real)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/30/2007 9:43:22 AM

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Trust is not a substitute for sanity and common sense.

Yep, this is how I feel about it as well.

Boy, you two hit the nail on the head.

The reality is that the majority of relationships within the D/s realm fail. Mainly, because they're built on sex and endorphin rushes. People rarely take the time to find out WHO they're with and are stuck on WHAT that person is. To go into a relationship at the very start with the idea that it will last forever is just a fairytale. If you let that fairytale throw your common sense out the window, then you're pretty much guaranteed that real life with throw you a wake up call at some point.

I'll also add: If someone is repeatedly finding themselves in this situation, then they need to take a step back and examine their choices and motivations. You can only be a victim once, after that you're a volunteer as such you're responsible for the road choice that got you there.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/30/2007 10:10:37 AM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

If someone is foolish enough to allow themselves to be left in
such a situation, this might be a good idea.
There is a difference in being a submissive, and being a fool.
This lifestyle, just like marriage is not for everyone.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 9/30/2007 11:45:29 AM

Posts: 69
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Disagree. You have to understand dysfunction to recognise it. Does not mean you have to have lived it.
[...]
the.dark.

Well let's be specific. youngsubgeoff says you have to have been there to know it, whereas you're arguing merely what it takes to recognize. A subtle yet important difference. Furthermore, I don't think doctors, shrinks, and (especially) social workers are always as much help as people like to believe they are.

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 10/1/2007 9:35:44 AM

Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline

Perhaps this idea stems from my experience. When I left my last "mistress", I had nothing. I had my car, and little else. Luckily, I had my family to fall back on. But my concern is for those who dont have that. Mabye this is just a gut reaction, to help those like myself.

(in reply to TheInstrument)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 10/1/2007 12:13:02 PM

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

In this life the problem is some want to believe this life makes a relationship different then any other old relationship. That this life somehow transcends a relationship to a better more perfect one but it simply does not. This life is a relationship just like every other relationship on earth just with a few more differences that in the grand schemes of relationships is not a thing that changes the core.

A person left without anything or the ability to take care of themselves is in trouble whether a mental condition or their own poor decisions. Making a place to protect them from reality and maybe learning from their choices instead of making them confront reality just does not make a good decision in my mind.

Sorry I repeat my original post, this is not a D/s issue but a human being/society issue. There are resources for this and it is unfortunate that there needs to be.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 10/1/2007 12:33:08 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

And not all parents are great parents. Some suck. bigtime.
It has nothing to do with the experience or whether someone has lived a life.
Just because you live something, does not mean you recognise it easier or can deal or help either.

Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to TheInstrument)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 10/1/2007 5:36:25 PM

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

Perhaps this idea stems from my experience. When I left my last "mistress", I had nothing. I had my car, and little else. Luckily, I had my family to fall back on. But my concern is for those who dont have that. Mabye this is just a gut reaction, to help those like myself.

Why just for subs? We aren't special or any more in need than any of the people who are left with nothing at the end of any relationship. My suggestion would be to spend time volunteering for programs already in place to help those with little to nothing. Help enrich those efforts and, if you really do have the money to back this place you are dreaming of, use it to let these programs help even more people.

My .02

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 10/1/2007 6:38:55 PM

Posts: 39
Joined: 8/6/2007
From: Lincoln, Nebraska
Status: offline

I've been told many times over the years that I should open a home for wayward subs. This is in large part because my 'take' on D/s consists of helping to empower people rather than using it as a platform to feed my ego. I like mentoring and supporting people who want to change their lives. I could see doing this as long as people really did *want* to change and not just find somebody to run their lives while they coast along.

One of the people I'm involved with said it should be done like welfare; you get so much time to get the boost and support you need, but you can't stay there forever. There would definitely have to be rules or guidelines so that people understood the purpose for such an organization.

I think that some people just don't have the life skills they need and then fall into the pattern of somebody else guide them that they don't know how to do things on their own. This isn't subjective to BDSM at all, but rather some people just can't seem to get things together. I happen to be someone who can look at a situation and with pure intentions tell them how to change the path they're on, or at least get them to look at where they're headed and try to get them not to repeat the same behaviour that got them there.

I think it's a good idea in theory, but the execution of such a plan would have to be done with a lot of foresight, and with people who could embrace a common goal for the long-term.

(in reply to honestsub4real)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 10/1/2007 7:13:19 PM

HaveRopeWillBind

Posts: 514
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

Geoff,

Do a bit of reading about the Beatles' experience with Apple Corps. Similar idea based around a different group type, but I suspect the results would be quite the same.

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Home for wayward subs - 10/2/2007 4:52:37 PM

Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline

It would be hard to tell who was real and who was just looking to escape responsibilities.

(in reply to HaveRopeWillBind)

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