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need a new relationship - 2/12/2004 5:37:47 AM   
sensualwordz


Posts: 26
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		How does one "lose" the memory of her old master so that she can at least be open to a new relationship
It is going on too long with me i think i can meet or talk but as soon as there is some reality to b faced such as intimacy or physical i want to run away
Any suggestions???

Wordz
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: need a new relationship - 2/12/2004 11:11:56 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		You will never lose your memory of an old Master. Maybe amnesia would do it, but otherwise, you will always have your memory of the relationship.
It's possible that you are using the memory as an excuse to keep from getting intimate with someone new, or you may still not be ready to move on. How long has it been? For some reason I am thinking that it actually hasn't been that long. Good luck.

(in reply to sensualwordz)
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RE: need a new relationship - 2/13/2004 2:13:05 PM   
twinklestar45


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Depends on how long you was with this Master. The only way your going to be able to forget him is to give another Master a chance. Let the past go and move on who knows you might find someone that is truly worth your time and love. You never can forget someone that you care alot for there will always be part of him in your heart.

(in reply to sensualwordz)
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RE: need a new relationship - 2/13/2004 5:05:25 PM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline 		Actually, on another note, if it was a good relationship, why would want to forget it. And if it was a bad one, as the old saying goes *those that don't learn from their mistakes are bound to repeat them.*

Just a couple of thoughts :)

Sandy

(in reply to twinklestar45)
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RE: need a new relationship - 2/14/2004 1:16:28 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		Sandy is dead on.

The issue isn't forgetting the old Master, the issue is facing fears of committment. An old saying "when the student is ready for the lesson, the teacher will appear" holds true here. Instead of focusing on forcing new relationships to work, focus on developing new friendships. Some of my best dates have been with women I've known for years.

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to sensualwordz)
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RE: need a new relationship - 2/17/2004 7:31:50 PM   
sensualwordz


Posts: 26
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		thank you
Actually i was with him off and on for 2 years
and i am learning that I must move on
sometimes i think talking about your fears makes them get smaller
no, i wont forget i will remember a lot but i will make sure that i also remember the bad things the things that made me leave to begin with
I am beginning not to miss "him" as much as i miss the "me" that was "me" when i was with "him"
if that makes sense and i must also remember that what i was once i can be again
the passion is something that is inside me not him

(in reply to Voltare)
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RE: need a new relationship - 2/19/2004 5:09:27 PM   
ShadowHwk


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/5/2004
From: New York
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sensualwordz

thank you
Actually i was with him off and on for 2 years
and i am learning that I must move on
sometimes i think talking about your fears makes them get smaller
no, i wont forget i will remember a lot but i will make sure that i also remember the bad things the things that made me leave to begin with
I am beginning not to miss "him" as much as i miss the "me" that was "me" when i was with "him"
if that makes sense and i must also remember that what i was once i can be again
the passion is something that is inside me not him


If your getting to the point that you miss the YOU that you were with him, then it sounds to me like you are making progress. I second what the others have said - you will not forget - but the emotional pain will fade bit by bit over time. But remember the lessons - if you don't then you are doomed to repeat them.

We all have fears, some hide them away, others pull them out into the sunshine to see what they really look like.... and in the clear light of day - they really are very small.

Terry
AKA ShadowHwk

(in reply to sensualwordz)
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RE: need a new relationship - 2/22/2004 9:18:57 PM   
sensualwordz


Posts: 26
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		thank you shadow what you said was very true and silly as it is we all know the answers to most of our own questions but sometimes we need others to validate our thoughts and decisions
Mariah

(in reply to ShadowHwk)
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RE: need a new relationship - 11/30/2007 10:34:41 PM   
txnights05


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

no, i wont forget i will remember a lot but i will make sure that i also remember the bad things the things that made me leave to begin with
I am beginning not to miss "him" as much as i miss the "me" that was "me" when i was with "him"
if that makes sense and i must also remember that what i was once i can be again
the passion is something that is inside me not him
quote:

ORIGINAL: sensualwordz

thank you
Actually i was with him off and on for 2 years
and i am learning that I must move on
sometimes i think talking about your fears makes them get smaller
no, i wont forget i will remember a lot but i will make sure that i also remember the bad things the things that made me leave to begin with
I am beginning not to miss "him" as much as i miss the "me" that was "me" when i was with "him"
if that makes sense and i must also remember that what i was once i can be again
the passion is something that is inside me not him


oh, this struck a chord with me. i am feeling very much the same these days... my last relationship ended about 6 months ago. i find that although i am better off without him and i do not miss him, i very much miss the way he could make me feel. accepted and understood and allowed to be oneself... i think that happens so seldom in life in general that once we get a taste of what is possible within us the craving and need for it can become as a drug.

i know that i am a much better person for having that relationship... i never want to forget it nor should i for it is one of the chapters of my life.  but when i think of the possibilities available in the future it makes me grateful that i ended what wasn't working.

ending a relationship causes grieving and that takes time to overcome. i found pictures today of that relationship and shed a tear or two... but it becomes nostalgic.

i figure that i know myself a lot better and know what i want/need and the kind of Dom that i am looking for a lot better than i did. i should make fewer mistakes the next time...






(in reply to sensualwordz)
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RE: need a new relationship - 11/30/2007 10:39:53 PM   
Machts


Posts: 96
Status: offline 		We all have a past, but we don't have to live there now.

(in reply to txnights05)
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RE: need a new relationship - 12/1/2007 10:27:22 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I am beginning not to miss "him" as much as i miss the "me" that was "me" when i was with "him" ..... the passion is something that is inside me not him

This is the most important lesson any of us can learn. We are all responsible for how we feel. No-one else can "make" us feel anything. We can choose to feel certain things under certain circumstances, but the choice is always yours.

Everything you were in love with that was you, came from within you. When you can truly believe this, you won't live in the past of what someone else supposedly did for you. It frees you to move forward more easily and with more belief in your own self and self-worth.

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to sensualwordz)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: need a new relationship - 12/1/2007 12:12:26 PM   
Rianne


Posts: 49
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

oh, this struck a chord with me. i am feeling very much the same these days... my last relationship ended about 6 months ago. i find that although i am better off without him and i do not miss him, i very much miss the way he could make me feel. accepted and understood and allowed to be oneself...


I relate to that.  I know that "no one can make us feel..."  but there is something about how you feel when you're with someone...about yourself and in relation to him.  For me, that is usually the memory I carry with me when one has moved on.

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: need a new relationship - 12/1/2007 3:43:49 PM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		The memory will always be there.  When it is time for you to move on, you will know it.  Don't fight the past- but in time learn to let it go.

(in reply to Rianne)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: need a new relationship - 12/1/2007 4:54:46 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		the op wrote this thread in 2004, I am hopeful that she is over it by now...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to AMaster)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: need a new relationship - 12/1/2007 7:55:02 PM   
ssickomaster


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Machts

We all have a past, but we don't have to live there now.



(in reply to Machts)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: need a new relationship - 12/3/2007 8:51:13 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sensualwordz

How does one "lose" the memory of her old master so that she can at least be open to a new relationship
It is going on too long with me i think i can meet or talk but as soon as there is some reality to b faced such as intimacy or physical i want to run away
Any suggestions???

Wordz


You need to give yourself time to get over it. Go out, enjoy your life and just have some fun. You wont get over it over night, you shouldn't try. Just live your life and in time things will feel better.

I dont thiunk you should even consider being intimate for a while-I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself.

(in reply to sensualwordz)
Profile   Post #: 16
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