quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

Men will pick you on your negativity.

... until you are ready to view yourself in a postive way, nobody else will either.

{insert expletive here} !

I'm sorry you have such a poor opinion of "men", Susie.

I'm sorry you believe "nobody" can see anything positive in someone if they can't see it themselves.

Maybe where you grew up that's true: you have my condolences if this is so.

But some of us were raised better than that.

Oh get off your high horse booby.

Most men ( I understand if you do not want to include yourself in that group) pick up on a persons negativity when chatting and getting to know someone. Sorry if you think that is not the case but it is.

You might be the one "man" out there that searches out negativity as you can see it as a way of "improving someones self esteem" as you often mention.  That is not the case with others.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

Men will pick you on your negativity.

... until you are ready to view yourself in a postive way, nobody else will either.

{insert expletive here} !

I'm sorry you have such a poor opinion of "men", Susie.

I'm sorry you believe "nobody" can see anything positive in someone if they can't see it themselves.

Maybe where you grew up that's true: you have my condolences if this is so.

But some of us were raised better than that.

Oh get off your high horse booby.

Most men ( I understand if you do not want to include yourself in that group) pick up on a persons negativity when chatting and getting to know someone. Sorry if you think that is not the case but it is.

You might be the one "man" out there that searches out negativity as you can see it as a way of "improving someones self esteem" as you often mention.  That is not the case with others.

I am not the one so insecure with his/her opinions that I have to resort to such ridiculous propaganda tactics as speaking in absolutes on behalf of "Men" or everyone on the planet, Susie.

You want more examples of people who see the positive in someone who wasn't seeing the positive in herself?

Try reading the Guilt  thread.

You want more examples?

Try the Salvation Army. Alcoholics Anonymous. Any Rape Crisis Centre. Suicide hotlines.

Need more examples of people who see the positives in those who do not see it in themselves?

Or would you rather accuse those whom I've mentioned of searching "out negativity as you can see it as a way of 'improving someones self esteem'"?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Bobkgin (and others),

Mr S., Cutiemouse, shoshi and a few others have more than adequately established the point I was making (I'd have responded sooner but charlotte and I were camping all weekend; THAT was a lot of fun!)

You can read more on my interest in body modification here:

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1214689

Rest assured, that charlotte knew of (and shared my) interests well before we even met face to face.  Read the thread, and I'm sure you'll see how there's obviously more than a few people (dominant and submissive alike) who share my point of view.

I know you have a strong position against changing people to suit your tastes.  That's great for you.  I would pose the question if you would permit or expect her to ever wear makeup?  Attractive clothes?  Jewelry?
 
...

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

To unattached subs out there with not so perfect bodies, you're facing a definite double standard. There's a thread in Ask a Mistress about male subs desiring older bbw dommes that generated many positive responses (4 pages). I started a thread in Ask a Master about Doms desiring older bbw subs and there was only 1 response in 4 hours. I was wondering if any bbw subs out there ever considered becoming switches and ordering male subs to dominate them?

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I think it's pretty fair to say that the majority of people tend to avoid negativity.  DBG seems to exude negativity, whether she does so on purpose or not is not the issue.  Yes, there are some who may not, but that may be the reason she is having such a hard time finding a dom.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

Its obvious that its in a males instinct to think about sex different and to need sex more than women.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25


DBG seems to exude negativity ... that may be the reason she is having such a hard time finding a dom.

I don't even know her ...

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

To unattached subs out there with not so perfect bodies, you're facing a definite double standard

Wanna know another double standard? Its obvious that its in a males instinct to think about sex different and to need sex more than women. Why is it that a submissive male is condemned for asking and wanting sex (or some thing sexual) while a female submissive is allowed to tell all male doms that they cant have sex with her when it comes to casual play?

quote:

As for your questions:
Makeup - no, I prefer a natural look.
Clothing - I have no objection, but I am casual at all times and do not object to my partner being dressed casual and comfortable.
Jewelry - no objections.

But I will point out that none of these have long-term implications, and if compared to cosmetic surgery, none of these come with a risk of dying under anasthetic.

You've never heard of anyone slipping in a mu mu and dying?

See, I asked the questions to point out that women (and men) regularly use their appearance as an expression of their identity.  Change that appearance, and you inalienably alter their identity. 

I would also offer that statistically, there's a greater risk of being hit by a car on the way to the clinic than there is of dying under the knife.  Everything we do carries a risk.  To say "I won't do it just because it's too dangerous" is, of course, entirely acceptable.  One's life is indeed a precious thing to risk.  Yet, I would be an unhappy person if I never engaged in every risky activity I've ever undergone.  Thus, the question (for me) isn't one of "is it dangerous?" so much as "Is this a risk I'm willing to accept."

Besides, it's impossible to know that charlotte, in getting surgery, didn't actually save her life by not crossing the street as she might ordinarily have been doing, and get hit by a car. 

So, yes; the point is that everyone who wishes to do something risky should do so with their eyes open.  Those who feel a procedure is too risky, shouldn't engage in it.

I'm simply pointing out that, risk aside, a woman who already has healthy self-esteem who might desire larger (or smaller; thinking of AquaticSub here) breasts, smaller stomach, etc should feel fully empowered to make that change for herself.  No amount of corrective surgery in the world can possibly combat poor self-esteem.  Anorexics will never feel 'thin enough' for the same reason.

Regards,

Stephan

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

To unattached subs out there with not so perfect bodies, you're facing a definite double standard. There's a thread in Ask a Mistress about male subs desiring older bbw dommes that generated many positive responses (4 pages). I started a thread in Ask a Master about Doms desiring older bbw subs and there was only 1 response in 4 hours. I was wondering if any bbw subs out there ever considered becoming switches and ordering male subs to dominate them?

To unattached subs out there with not so perfect bodies, you're facing a definite double standard

Wanna know another double standard? Its obvious that its in a males instinct to think about sex different and to need sex more than women. Why is it that a submissive male is condemned for asking and wanting sex (or some thing sexual) while a female submissive is allowed to tell all male doms that they cant have sex with her when it comes to casual play?