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But inside of 6 months, if someone is saying they "are falling in love" with me, I call that infatuation. Until you have *shared common experiences* (that means person A and person B go through a trial, a joy, an argument, etc.) -- which is FAR different from "common interests" -- I don't think it's practical or realistic to think the warm, fuzzy feelings you are having are "love."

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ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

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I am a little shocked anyone would want to force someone else to basically devalue this kind of sentiment.

Point of clarification: There's no force in our dynamic.  He doesn't force me to do anything.

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ORIGINAL: cloudboy


A guy in her position would be fileted alive. You make a good point.

I like her plan of emotional caveat emptor, as it conveniently shifts all the blame onto the unwitting guy and sheilds her from all responsibility when he might start feeling otherwise. A lawyer couldn't draw up a better disclaimer.

We shouldn't worry though, guys will do just about anything for good sex -- and no strings sex for many a man has a much higher appeal than actually becoming involved with someone.

The trick for that secondary partner, whomever she might select, is too not make the Glen Close mistake in FATAL ATTRACTION. Namely, when he's alone and lonely, don't peek in her house windows during the holidays to see his beloved living in marital bliss. He's better going to the local pub or taking a long walk saving his curses for the passing clouds or the idiots on the bar room TV.

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ORIGINAL: iammachine

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But inside of 6 months, if someone is saying they "are falling in love" with me, I call that infatuation. Until you have *shared common experiences* (that means person A and person B go through a trial, a joy, an argument, etc.) -- which is FAR different from "common interests" -- I don't think it's practical or realistic to think the warm, fuzzy feelings you are having are "love."

Which, is your opinion, and you are entitled to it. You are neither right nor wrong, since opinions are good for that. They're subjective. What we have here, is a subjective opinion about a subjective experience. What a tangled web we weave, no?

Which, returns me to my point. Love is a feeling, you can't quantify it, there is no way to determine if what someone experiences as love is valid, or not - because it's a personal experience. He says love, you say infatuation - po-tay-toe,  po-tah-toe, my friend.  Perhaps they are in love with love, perhaps they are in love with an idea of you, perhaps they have seen more of you than you were aware of showing, and they love you on some level (Eros? Agape? Philia? Storge?). Whatever the case, they have sqwishy fuzzy feelings, and they interpret it as love. Your opinions on whether or not they are valid, to be honest, whereas you are entitled to them, really don't bear much weight overall, because there is no right or wrong when it comes to subjective, personal, experiences.

Yeah, feelings suck for that.