RE: One Night Stands (Full Version)

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Invictus754 -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 8:54:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl
"you must not think very much of yourself to give it away for free to some total stranger".


I'm not giving it away - I'm sharing.  I learned that in Kindergarten.



laurell3 -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 8:54:55 PM)

Retract the claws bride of frankenstein, I wasn't referring to you, by the way I celebrate my sexuality and you thinking badly of me for it is irrelevant to that celebration.  And yes, in my mind all sex is free, it's never a tool, it's never requiring payment, it's an expression of one's self and sharing with another person.
l

p.s. if you read my actual post to the op you would see that I don't engage in one night stands anymore, and thanks, but my confidence is perfect the way it is, not that you would actually have any clue about it or me one way or the other.



MissMagnolia -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 9:08:06 PM)

Just popping in with hugs, kissuz and love for all the whores. MWWAAAHHHHH.

Please form an orderly queue and have a biscuit while you wait, you sexy gorgeous chickie babes.[:)]



GoddessMine -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 9:08:26 PM)

This is so inane and dull.
Why must women always fall under this constricting madonna/whore dichotomy?

Here, if you want constricting:

You had a one night stand and it was cheapening? Ok, well, you learned and you seem content now.
You had a one night stand and it was fun and hot? Awesome!
You had a one night stand and it was really meaningful? Wow, that's admirable.

The end. RABBELERARBEBBBLEELBLARGH!!!!

Love,
GM



Invictus754 -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 9:09:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I'm a big advocate for one night stands.  I think everyone should have at least one in their lifetime.  There's just something about getting primal with a stranger.  I find it to be fucking hot.  Soooo....have you ever and did you enjoy it?


It wasn't night.  Does afternoon count?  
 
A woman who was trying to get my attention made the mistake of running over to a girlfriend's house (who didn't know me from Adam).  She introduced me, and then they talked, and when she used the restroom her friend slipped me a piece of paper with her phone number and "call me".  That afternoon, I ditched the first girl, called the second, and before her kids came home on the school bus I had her on her living room couch banging her so hard with her feet behind my neck that her head was rebounding off the arm of the couch (her eyes were rolled up in her head, so I don't think she noticed).  That was the last time we saw each other.  I didn't use a condom, I didn't catch a disease, she didn't get pregnant, her kids didn't see her with a strange man in the house...all the bad things that people swear will happen didn't happen and we both lived happily ever after. 

Very hot.




laurell3 -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 9:10:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Just popping in with hugs, kissuz and love for all the whores. MWWAAAHHHHH.

Please form an orderly queue and have a biscuit while you wait, you sexy gorgeous chickie babes.[:)]


Can I have some jelly on my biscuit?  It might help me with the unwarranted poison I just swallowed.
l



catize -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 9:13:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Invictus754

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl
"you must not think very much of yourself to give it away for free to some total stranger".


I'm not giving it away - I'm sharing.  I learned that in Kindergarten.

 
No, she is saying your self esteem (and bank account) would improve if you charged for it!



Zmey -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 9:14:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68
Soooo....have you ever and did you enjoy it?

Yes, TWICE! No I did not.



MissMagnolia -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 9:44:42 PM)

C'mere laurell and gimme a smooch. Ya knows I loves ya.[sm=flowers.gif][sm=kiss.gif]



laurell3 -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 9:52:07 PM)

Puckers up and gives MissMagnolia a bit fat sloppy wet kiss.
l



cautiousiasub -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 9:56:50 PM)

Wow, ten pages...as far as the OP, yes I've had the experience of a few one night stands in the past. Some I enjoyed, some I didn't. There were times in my life where I just didn't have time for a relationship and just needed sex (of course fuck buddies are good for those times too).

Just because I've had one night stands and enjoy sex does not make me a slut. Some people may see it that way, but I don't. What works for some doesn't always work for others. At the end of the day, my opinion of myself is the only one that matters. If people want to call me a slut, that is their choice...doesn't offend me one bit, I just don't care. For that matter, the only thing that would offend me about being called a whore is that it just isn't true...if that were the case, I would have more money. [;)]

Before everyone gets there panties (or boxers) in a bunch, I do not have intimacy issues. I prefer the intimacy of a relationship when I have time or choose to make time and I happily have that now. He is slightly older than me and has a different opinion of casual sex than many people of my own age, which was very refreshing. He's in the "over 40 crowd" who remembers when AIDS/HIV wasn't a concern and casual sex was not quite so worrisome. 



NorthernGent -> RE: One Night Stands (10/15/2007 11:39:38 PM)

 "disposable toys"

That's an interesting way of looking at two people having sex, and it says more about the mindset of the person judging, than the two people having sex. Believe it or not, there are people in this world who are mature enough to enjoy sex and maintain their self-esteem.

There must be some sort of religious, moral, puritan/catholic indignation at work; well, if those people had their way, they'd be drowning women and getting a kick out of putting schoolchildren through the mill, so I wouldn't be falling over yourself to take on board their "moral" code.

Someone mentioned instinct; that sounds about right to me: it's instinctive, whether in a relationship or not.



spankmepink11 -> RE: One Night Stands (10/16/2007 6:12:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

it's my prerogative to not involve myself in having an one-night for religious, health and moral reasons and if that makes me a straight laced, uptight churchgoing bitch that's your opinion of me ...likewise it's mine to say "you must not think very much of yourself to give it away for free to some total stranger".

let the flaming begin





Get over it....get over yourself...and trust me, no one cares "how far your.....mind can go"

If you had half a brain you could see the hypocrisy of your words as they relate to the relationships that you constantly bleat about. 
The enjoyment of sex, casual or otherwise has absolutely nothing to do with self value...self esteem...etc.  Try closing your mouth and opening your mind.  Same suggestion goes for  the rest of the name calling , judgmental  "pot calling the kettle black " folks.



LaTigresse -> RE: One Night Stands (10/16/2007 6:33:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Invictus754

 
What?!?  If people on this site need to be reminded about safe sex, then they shouldn't be here.  Do we have to tell people EVERYTHING nowadays?  Do we have to remind these people not to shit and then sit in it? 




Apparently so..........at least figuratively.



mnottertail -> RE: One Night Stands (10/16/2007 6:36:32 AM)

Some people kink that way, so you may be a voice crying in the wilderness.



mistoferin -> RE: One Night Stands (10/16/2007 7:14:07 AM)

It's just amazing where this thread went. How did we go from "Did you ever and did you enjoy it?" to calling people sluts and whores who don't care about themselves? Not to mention....I noticed the women were being called such things, but what about the guys? I mean if the women had a one night stand I would have to think the guy she did it with was having one too. Wow!



Aileen68 -> RE: One Night Stands (10/16/2007 7:18:28 AM)

It's that old double standard.



camille65 -> RE: One Night Stands (10/16/2007 7:21:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

It's just amazing where this thread went. How did we go from "Did you ever and did you enjoy it?" to calling people sluts and whores who don't care about themselves? Not to mention....I noticed the women were being called such things, but what about the guys? I mean if the women had a one night stand I would have to think the guy she did it with was having one too. Wow!
 It really surprised me when I read what some posted. There was the outdated notion that women mustn't enjoy casual sex, that they must have low self-esteem & be on the way to whoredom. And yes, the double standard that men can do it but women cannot. Surprised me, disappointed me but.. it really revealed how some folks see things. A few reactions were so strong and irrational that now I am left wondering just what happened to them to cause such hostility and disdain to other women whoFUCK a one night stand. Sex is fun!! Be safe and enjoy it.



MadameMarque -> RE: One Night Stands (10/16/2007 7:35:08 AM)

I cast a couple of other thoughts, into the mix:

One is that, whenever you talk about someone giving sex away, or being taken advantage of sexually, it suggests that the person "giving it away" didn't get their interests met, but the person "getting it," did.  And yet, they're both there for the pleasure and joy and satisfaction of the encounter.

Why, in a sexual encounter, would one person be viewed as "giving it away," and having no self worth, while the other person is not also viewed that way?  Or, why wouldn't they both be viewed as "getting lucky"?

I pose the question for you to think about.  To me, it suggests that the person "giving it away" is just having the sex or scene, in order to please the other person, that the encounter, itself, is not meeting their needs or satisfying them.  That certainly does happen. 

When one is seeking intimacy and love, and the other is seeking only sexual release, this will be the unhappy results.

One example that comes to mind is the current trend for middle- and high school aged girls to give boys oral sex, while the girls are not satisfied sexually, themselves.  This seems to me to be a bid for the boys' affection or approval, and this implies some insecurity in the girls, that they don't expect to be treated, in kind.

But when a person says, 'isn't it hot and glorious to screw your brains out, for a night?' (I know that's not the exact quote, here), I think that they enjoyed themselves and another person, not that they were pitifully "giving it away for free," because they have self esteem issues! 



The other I have observed is that, try as you might to make it the physical act, alone, there is much more happening.  When you have a shared intense experience, in that close proximity to another, as sex or a scene, you're both opening up to each other and mixing it up with each other - psychologically, energetically, at a raw and naked level, and at a high, essential level.  You may remain strangers, in every other sense, but you must let your guard down, in a big way, to go to the state of experiencing sex or a scene, fully.

I think that, other than having shame about sex, this is the main reason that some people can't get away from the other person fast enough, after sex or a scene - even if they love that other person, let alone, in a one-night stand.  They've just gotten way too close and personal with the other person, and they're hurrying away from that.



mistoferin -> RE: One Night Stands (10/16/2007 7:41:40 AM)

Well, I originally answered the post by saying that yes I've done it but I found it's just not really my thing. But I don't think that makes me Polly Purebred and I'm better (more chaste, moral, etc. ) than those whose thing it is. And to be honest, I'm a great big grown up girl (and I would like to assume that others here are too) and I can figure out when I'm horny. So, if the mood was to strike and I thought that having a one night stand of meaningless, primal, raw, uncommitted sex would fulfill my immediate need....well I guess, sometimes if you're feeling froggy you just got jump.



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