RE: Why are we into BDSM?

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/17/2007 3:01:56 PM

kirii

Posts: 79
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

I just blame it on my blood. Celtic / Nordic mix.

I'm about as submissive as a Mack Truck.

LMAO
Can I second that please

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/17/2007 3:02:05 PM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
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erhm...yea....we scots are always submissive...sorry RRafe, I cant blame mine on my blood...but I do think I was born this way. Im just...submissive...it isnt a choice I made, its just who I am. Apparently a large part of the world finds it abnormal, although I think being plain old vanilla is rather boring and why anyone would choose that life is beyond me...however I am open to the thought that they were just "born" boring...who knows. Either that or there are more people raised staunch southern baptist than we realized and they just cant get past all those days at church...anyway, I am who I am...and not as many people call me weird here.....so thats why Im here....

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Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/17/2007 4:40:04 PM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
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Im into BDSM because I look way good dressed up in fishnets and leather. Other than that, eh.

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/17/2007 8:29:29 PM

eyeh8f8

Posts: 58
Joined: 5/5/2006
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In an ventoure in life we all want to do something more than just go through the motions. It's all about the mind, body, and anthing that you can use to connect yourtself with a challenging state. As humans we usually would rather change things, keep things flowing, and be able to succeed in what we do. The fact is that we all have our views and we all have our skills. The fact that we strive to do better is what brings us into something like this.

For me, I am the kind of person who can stay up all night and all day and think about everything and plan everything. The thing that makes me...me is that I don't force anything and I just do things the way I do things. I always question things but I don't do it to be a "smart ass" I do it to improve me.

I don't know if this totally answers the question but that's my two cents.

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/23/2007 7:53:42 AM

Matadorr

Posts: 25
Joined: 8/29/2007
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This is a topic that interests me greatly and will research more in the future, I hav however read about 2 books on sadomasocism. Its believed that sadism is the easiest to understand and comes from a repression of sexual aggression (perhaps a teen who isnt sexually satisfied, or is restricted by his partner)...which distorts it and enhances the need of it to be expressed in the individual. Do you believe this? Personally I think there could be some truth to this...but I dont really believe it wholly at all. Masochism is so complex I dont even want to get into it. Its always good to remember that these studies and theories are based on empircal data only...and often non BDSM peoples perspectives and therioes based on data. This doesnt mean its right, it just means its the best the can do right now.

I think we all hav our ideas of how and why we r one way or another....or why we are into BDSM. For me, it is congruent with my personality...I am naturally dom in any situation and I liek to hav control in any aspect ofmy life....just another reason why I dont really dig drugs...feeling out of control like a little kid is not somthing that appeals to me.

I like to protect and care for somone, I like to teach, I like to show affection....and I also like to be in control, to lead over my partner because I feel someone needs to take this responsibility (and thats how I view it as a responsibility as well as a pleasure). So on a personality, personal and emotional level...this sortve relationship appeals to me.

On a primal sexual level...we are very much like animals in my opinion, there are alot of 'switches' for subs that I know which all tap into this primal desire...here are some of them and for alot of people the idea changes according to their EXTREMITY

- The idea of being owned is a more extreme one. and then you would have the more nilla idea of being 'his girl'.

-The concept of being 'taken'...a man taking what is his purely by his own power and desire, somthing that many women find erotic especially as they are the sole object of that desire. A less extreme idea that coincides with this would be a girl saying prevocativley 'I want you to fuck me so hard'....yeah thats kinky...but its a lesser way of tapping into this primal idea of being taken...which is very animalistic.

DO you know how many women hav rape fantasies?!!!! (im not suggesting every girl does...but its alot more common than you would expect). Sexuality is an animalistic thing and BDSM trys to replicate these primal intincts and feelings and similtaneously cancels out alot of the shit that sociey puts in the bedroom...like being outside the moment. On a sexual level BDSM puts you in the moment, without thought, outside societies boundaries...deeper within your own sexuality w.e it may be. It allows for greater trust and alot of other shit I owent get into anymore.

but basically....these are some reasons why i think people r into BDSM...but theres ALOT more than just what ive posted...but most important I think is the idea of animalistic core sexuality and how this plays out in BDSM.

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/23/2007 1:38:58 PM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
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For me BDSM is play pure and simple. It doesn't necessarily mean sexual play comes into it. There have been times where Master has tied my ties up, and reddened them, then dripped wax over my pussy without the sex coming into play. However when sex does come into play its a heck of a ride lol.

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If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/23/2007 1:55:49 PM

sexy2sum

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/14/2006
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From reading the posts, its apparant the answers are as diverse as the people behind them. For U/us, it was a matter of saving our relationship. I had always had a "fetish" that mostly included spanking, don't ask why, its just what turned me on. W/we have now been together going on 4 years and the subject really didn't come up until about a year ago. she had thrown one of her fits over nothing more than her own insecurity, and I had reached my limit. After a rigorous punishment, and some very tender aftercare, things were much better for about a month. Then right on schedule, it happened again, so I reacted the same way. O/our relationship made a complete 180 after that. With some additional research, I found that several aspects of BDSM could help to make U/us a happier couple. she now willingly accepts her punishments when she knows that I am displeased, and she derives sexual gratification from being dominated. I've also learned that being a dominant is more about responsibility, respect, dedication, and love than it is whips and chains. I've had to become a better person in order to "win" her submission, and I think seeing that effort from me is what really drives her. Plus, its just a lot of fun!!!

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/23/2007 2:06:03 PM

colouredin

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I think its something desperatly hard to pin point and i think that my answer will vary every day i get asked about it. For me its a power to loose power, its about feeling that secure with someone that you allow yourself to be led by them, that you value their judgement and that you gain so much happiness from making them happy.

Its learning something new about yourself every day and loving it as you find it out. Its being proud of who i am and standing up for that. I have never felt so strong, sexy and confident as since i stumbled into BDSM so much about myself makes more sense now.

Its caring and considerate and exciting and nerve racking. Its such an influx of emotions and a desperate need to express them. Its being respected for who you are and being encouraged to be yourself.

Its a change, leaving who you are to be something new, its understanding that you are all those things and finding the right space to be them. Its not being ashamed of your desires its embracing them and vocalising them.

Its who i am

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/23/2007 9:06:34 PM

FangsNfeet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: labrat18610

Why are we into BDSM?

How many times do I have to tell people that there is something in the water that triggered a new pattern of electracal charged pulses in our brains. This re-wire process made us out to be kinky.

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/23/2007 10:08:17 PM

Kana

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I woke up one day and thought, I need a hobby, maybe I will tie women up and beat them. Sounds fun, socially aceptable and something that will go over well with the church crowd.

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/23/2007 10:18:47 PM

TakenPet

Posts: 147
Joined: 1/12/2007
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I think there are two categories of submissives, there are those that some would call "natural" the ones who from a young age just knew it was what they wanted to do and basically lived that kind of life of general service. Then there are those who discover its their calling later in life. There is really no difference in my opinion between them, just an earlier sense of entitlement and fulfillment for some and its an interest for some. I think those who are inclined to be involved in the lifestyle a it built in somehow.
Sure there are "vanilla" forms of BDSM, its simple stuff, light spanking, role playing (Dr. and Nurse ect.), and trial and error with various tools of the trade like handcuffs and so on. There are of course many levels to everyone's experiences and that ranges on the person's interest and experience as well. Probably didn't help you in answering your question, but I do not feel it is something you choose, I think it is something that chooses you, but I do feel that you can tweak it and alter it a little as in the case with switches.
Enjoy

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/24/2007 5:58:26 PM

SirEbonyPhoenix

Posts: 195
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: My realm in Central Indiana (you guess where :P)
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Hmm...let's see. I'm in it to:

1) To make friends.
2) To express my sexual fantasies.
3) Because I like to be kinky.
4) To see what it is like to have control over another person.
5) To hopefully find someone of the opposite sex that likes what I like.

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/24/2007 7:49:38 PM

Dolce

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Joined: 10/17/2007
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I serve in a position where I spend my entire working day being in charge, making decisions...and after 8-12 hours of this, when I come home, I don't /want/ to be in charge anymore. I want a leader in my life that will allow me to relinquish control, who will make my decisions, and who will run his fingers through my hair as I sit at his feet. I adore my Sir and the leadership he gives me!

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The presence of a noble nature...changes the lights for us: we begin to see things again in their larger, quieter masses, and to believe that we too can be seen and judged in the wholeness of our character. ~George Eliot

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/24/2007 7:55:19 PM

wisteriaV

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Joined: 3/17/2005
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BDSM: Beat me, Drive me nuts by Spanking and make me Suck your dick?

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Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

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RE: Why are we into BDSM? - 10/25/2007 6:35:18 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
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i am into this lifestyle because with the vanilla side i was getting bored and finding idiots out there. Whereas here, i have found my niche for serving my Dom and learning new things everytime that i wouldn't normally do with a vanilla partner. i enjoyed playing cops and robbers when i was younger and playing with rope; so for me i guess i always knew what i wanted to be but never got to actually experience it truely till about 8 1/2 months ago.