RE: young into the lifstyle

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 7/31/2005 9:29:35 AM

siamsa24

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Ah, another thread about the supposed stupidity of youth, it's great, makes me feel really good about myself and the 7 years that I have spent studying, researching and being into BDSM in a relationship sense. But I suppose that some of those don't count because I wasn't officially an adult yet so we're down to 4, and then there was the 6 months that I wasn't in a relationship and not seeking one so we're down to 3 1/2, and then there's the one that was "abusive" (this is not my word, it is someone else's) because of the age gap between us so now we're down to 2, oh, I guess I don't know anything.......

What about the people that are 45, cheating on their spouse and think that BDSM is the way to go because clearly we have no morals? They aren't really interested, they are just looking to get laid. They are not any smarter or "lifestyle-esque" because they are older, that just makes them older and clueless instead of younger and clueless.

I may be young, but I feel that my experiences are as valuable as anyone elses and I have just as much a right to be here as anyone.

ahhh, I feel much better now

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 7/31/2005 9:47:51 AM

perverseangelic

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Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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Take what Siamasa said, change the numbers to 8 years invovled,4 years "underage", 5 years "adult" and 1 year "searching" 6mo in a realtionship w/ an abusive fuck and you sum up much of what I think.

Well said.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 7/31/2005 10:04:01 AM

junkyard

Posts: 107
Joined: 3/13/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: siamsa24
But I suppose that some of those don't count because I wasn't officially an adult yet ...

I think many of us shifted the focus to experience and maturity, in case you didn't notice. I also think many of us qualified our statements as when I stated: "This isn't an absolute rule with me, but the younger a person is the more likely I am to think they are a wannabe or a flake."

In general, below the age of 25 a man hasn't a clue and a woman almost has her shit together but one would really have to dig deep to find out. Over the age of 30 a man might be okay and a woman probably is okay by this point - still never hurts to check. Over the age of 35 a man might have actually settled into himself and a woman almost certainly has done so. By the time a man is 40 he has fucked up in most of the bigger ways that he is going to and is looking back on his life and may want to make some remedial changes (aka mid-life crisis).

In general the world is full of freaks and all purpose assholes that do shit like cheat on their partners and try to involve others in their nonsense, one has to be wary of that potential and be sure to avoid such situations.

I still think the above approx. age guide is useful for dealing with men and women in the United States.

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 7/31/2005 12:18:12 PM

siamsa24

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I just get rather tired of people brushing off us younger people because our experiences started when we were younger. My post wasn't directed at anyone or anything in particular, but at the thread in general.
I may have missed something, but I saw a lot of judgements based entirely on age without regard to anything else. I will be the first to admit that I miss things sometimes when I am reading (especially when I am getting a little steamed), but even what you wrote assumes that younger people haven't a clue.

And thanks perverseangelic, it's not often that I say things well (dang LLD

) and it's nice to hear when I do

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 7/31/2005 1:03:34 PM

EvilTwin

Posts: 50
Joined: 4/13/2004
From: NC
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My first experiance in the lifestyle came when I was 20, this was 14 years ago.
I have been in and out, what I would call dabbling or playing.
At the time I started I know I didn't have the mindset for it on the level I am now.
My submissives deserved better, so I stepped back.
Now, at 34 I am entering into a TPE... something that was and should have been unthinkable when I was younger.
Speaking as a Dominant, I know that it takes maturity to perform my role in a relationship.
Maturity came with time and experiances.
My babygirl is a much more fortunate woman than any of the submissives I had before.
She benefits from my experiance and maturity as much or more than I do.

Jim

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 8/2/2005 12:50:11 AM

mrblackpanther1965

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Greetings! Young to me is in the heart. But the mind is a different thing . to me is all about how open is your mind and how much and what is you pace in learning about the lifestlye. To me is all about the mind in the lifestlye. So if you young in the mind do not do it but if you are a person who is will to learn more about yourself and the lifeslye do it

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 8/2/2005 1:36:45 AM

imtempting

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quote:

ORIGINAL: siamsa24

I just get rather tired of people brushing off us younger people because our experiences started when we were younger. My post wasn't directed at anyone or anything in particular, but at the thread in general.
I may have missed something, but I saw a lot of judgements based entirely on age without regard to anything else. I will be the first to admit that I miss things sometimes when I am reading (especially when I am getting a little steamed), but even what you wrote assumes that younger people haven't a clue.

And thanks perverseangelic, it's not often that I say things well (dang LLD ) and it's nice to hear when I do

Yes so true.

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 8/2/2005 4:04:02 PM

kneelnu

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Joined: 7/28/2005
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I admit at 30 i still not know near what i need to yet read and do as much as i can to learn. I was lucky enuff to meet a really good friend while in the marines that was Dom and He/wife/sub had a long standing relationship kids and all. Was lucky enuff not only to have had him mentor be while (in) and kept me alive but then once he got out after i showed MUCH interest into the life style was I invited to stay with them and learn the lifestyle and to be those short 2 years I spent in the household gave me more respect and advice than I will obtain the reast of my lifetime yet I still feel that at 30 its not fair for me to seek someone that is older and have many more years itno the lifestyle then i do thus the need to seek ou tthe younger ones yes its had some ruff times but when the ones that are serious come around its VERY worth the time and knowing that not only can she grow with me I to will go with her and to me thats the biggest part of this lifestyle being able to grow with eachother for ( NO one will ever be a true master of the lifestyle only a master of one soul for a true Dom/master should learn something every dawn he wakes thus never truley master'n the lifestyle) well just my 2 cents i blabbbed enuff guess to sum it up everyone was young once and needs to travel down that dark path and get afew bumps on there knees to learn that it hurts to do something and walk another path/..........

kneel

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 8/2/2005 4:09:57 PM

Alexander

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Who cares about young? What we really should worry about is all the stupid people.

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 8/2/2005 6:34:23 PM

siamsa24

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alexander

Who cares about young? What we really should worry about is all the stupid people.

That is exactly what I have been trying to say

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RE: young into the lifstyle - 8/2/2005 10:42:25 PM

MtPleasantsubAsh

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Here, Here!!!!

I know my profile isn't up to scratch, however...I seem to remember being drunk and punching it out somtime....lol

I've been in the participating with a Dom for a month and a half now..
Yes, I know I'm young...
probably immature, and bound to make mistakes.

But i do know that this life offers me , like so many others, a different, more satifying way of expressing and exploring my sexuality than the vanilla life. I can be myself and grow in self awareness while helping my partner grow and being there for him. He's much older than i am..me being 18, and yet still feels I am at his level..not in experience...or knowledge...but in maturity and self-awareness.
I've know about the life for about four years...and have always wanted to yes, "explore", but however, without exploring are we to truly find ourselves...
I know i'm young and inexperienced,
but I'm not fake, and though yes, alot of the younger people here are just looking for a quick "lay", I do wish we could keep from making generalised judgements and forming age biases.

to me it's dismissing someone b/c they were born at a certain time they had no control over...i think that unless you get to know someone you can't just dismiss them.

No disrespect to anyone..just commenting and putting out my view.

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