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RE: Would you erase your kink? - 10/27/2007 12:30:45 AM

hermione83

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/1/2007
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(((((kittty))))) Good luck, sweetheart!

Gwyn, I do appreciate your post, and understand why you say that. While I do have those issues, I do definitely know who I am, too. Very, very well, in fact. I don't think any of it's changing, either. I really do feel like, all of that is very related to my submissive side. But, I don't think I'd be less submissive if I could improve my self-worth, and hope maybe someone could help with that one day. But, really, being in that D/s relationship, if its ridiculously healthy, is the only thing that has the potential for healing me. But I haven't successfully found a lasting one. I don't know if it will, or not. It's hard.

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 61

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 10/27/2007 12:32:15 AM

Gwynvyd

Posts: 4949
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

So you have given it up, but you can't see yourself ever giving it up, but you could easily give it up? That's pretty cool.

i'd cut it out of myself with a razor if i knew where to dig. i think one of my cats is Buddhist- he's from Burma, a bit on the chubby side, and very peaceful at times, but he ain't tellin'. Religion's a hit-or-miss thing, in my experience.

You should read "The Tao of Meow"... You would get a kick out of it.

I think at heart most if not all cats are Taoists..

We all are what we are... I hope you find peace with yourself Dave. *big hugs*

Gwyn,
Who is Hindu, but with Taoist and Zen Buddhist leanings.

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 62

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 10/27/2007 12:36:11 AM

Gwynvyd

Posts: 4949
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Not all Dommes are 7 foot tall, wearing leather, with whip at the ready and a strap on handy.

Though they ARE hot.

You mean there are some of us who arent like that??? oh yeah.. I am merely 6ft tall... unless in my heels.. *winks and giggles*

Gwyn

_____________________________

Self avowed Geek-Girl~
Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 63

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 10/27/2007 12:41:18 AM

MasterShibari

Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

So you have given it up, but you can't see yourself ever giving it up, but you could easily give it up? That's pretty cool.

Thats the joy of Zen, its all over the place. Something can be a major part of you, a part you never intend to give up. However, if you really needed to, you could drop it in a heartbeat. Plus, we get to use cool words like "Dichotomy."

M. Shbari

< Message edited by MasterShibari -- 10/27/2007 12:48:26 AM >

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 64

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 10/27/2007 12:50:46 AM

slaveofKaos

Posts: 143
Joined: 2/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I do not limit myself to only people in to BDSM or vanilla, I am who I am and if I find someone in either category that I'm compatible with great. My current slave was not in to the lifestyle when I met him and guess what now he's my slave. So I have learned to go out have fun and never limit myself, because when you do it's you limiting yourself, you saying you can never find someone who doesnt caterorgize themselves as being in the "lifestyle" or in to "BDSM" no one else.

_____________________________

slave jodi

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 65

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 10/27/2007 12:53:03 AM

RosesHaveThorns

Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

I would perfer to be without a partner then to have to change myself to find one.

And while I think I would be the same person if my kink is changed, I see no reason to change it, but if I did, I would feel like I was pressured into changing something of myself to suit someone else's irrational beliefs.

And a wee bit off topic: I feel just as feminine calling someone an idiot and acting like a bitch as I do while tied up. I don't equate being a doormat or submissive with being a woman.

(in reply to MasterShibari)

Post #: 66

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 10/27/2007 1:03:44 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Not all Dommes are 7 foot tall, wearing leather, with whip at the ready and a strap on handy.

Though they ARE hot.

You mean there are some of us who arent like that??? oh yeah.. I am merely 6ft tall... unless in my heels.. *winks and giggles*

Gwyn

Hey, Gwyn, I said you're a hotty!!

RREEOOOWW!!!

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to Gwynvyd)

Post #: 67

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 10/27/2007 2:18:31 AM

mskathy39

Posts: 22
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I would say that I would erase some of the more extreme kink that I have no outlet for at present nor do I ever see having an outlet for it. I would not do it for that male, but for my own piece of mind if I could.

On a similar note, I met a wonderful man, had a great relationship and was asked to marry him. Unfortunately, because of my many kinks and the fact that he wanted me to move to the east coast, I would not oblige nor would he oblige me by moving here. Ah well.

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 68

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 10/27/2007 4:42:40 AM

MidnightMaiden

Posts: 142
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

And I have this problem of not being attracted to anyone outside about the top 1% IQs.

Most every guy I have met with a genius IQ has been a complete arsehat. Condescending morons who can't make a cup of soup yet pooh pooh down their nose at you for not having an IQ as high as theirs. And boring as batshit... they are so enarmoured with their own intellect that they dont want to hear what you have to say. And don't ever suggest you might know something they don't, or worse that they *lowers voice to whisper* .... might be wrong!

I have a genius IQ. Give me a down to earth guy with an average set of smarts, a cute butt and a whole lot of life experience anyday. They are a hell of a lot more interesting to be around, typically less hangups, and from my experience much better in bed.

No I wouldnt change my kink. Like asking me if I could take autism away from my son would I...

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 69

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 10/27/2007 5:27:57 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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If you could be satisfied in vanilla relationships would you choose to be?
Yes, i would choose that i could be satisfied in both types of relationship. D/s and nilla.

For most of us it isn't an option and has never been an option. But what if you could press a button and become as vainlla as you wanted?
No, i am who i am *shrugs*

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 70

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 12/8/2007 8:18:19 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
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Watching television and one's sexual orientation are a poor grouping.

The question behind the question here is: does one's kink result in greater alienation and less intimacy with other people?

Does being different push others away? Does being different inhibit one's ability to honestly connect with others?

In sum, is kink a curse or is it a blessing?

I would argue the answer depends partly on the kink itself. I'm grateful I don't have strong diaper and infant fixations, because there are very few women who would respond positively to that. Bondage and spanking, on the other hand, present better opportunities. Cross dressing, not so promising as the latter but better than the former.

I have often opined how different I'd be if I just liked to fuck women. If I were so, my life would be a whole lot less complicated.

To me, the complications of kink are a mixed blessing.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 12/8/2007 8:20:06 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 71

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 12/8/2007 8:23:43 PM

kirby104

Posts: 94
Joined: 6/6/2005
Status: offline

Being kinky is as much as a curse as being a white caucasian female five feet tall or white caucasian female going bald.
All of the scenarios bring emotional pain.

It isn't for me to connect with anyone, much less with me having to discern an individual's kink.

Yes, merely being vanilla would make life much less complicated.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 72

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 12/8/2007 9:44:10 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
The question behind the question here is: does one's kink result in greater alienation and less intimacy with other people?

For me, kink has opened more doors, especially since I have begun to date vanilla men again, so many vanilla men want to TRY some form of kink and they have found partners in the past that were not open-minded enough for them to try things out that they are curious about, so throw someone who has experience in kink and it makes for a lot of fun.. I joke around with a guy when he asks what I 'have done' I tell them, its a shorter list to ask what I have 'not done.' Vanilla men seem to like THAT answer.

Talking about kink brings intimacy, at least in my experience.

quote:

Does being different push others away? Does being different inhibit one's ability to honestly connect with others?

Being different is what makes each of us who we are, and not an atomiton. It can inhibit my ability to be compeltly honest or at least to give out too much information out; I have to edit myself at times to not give out TMI, I did that last week, an I am sure I will have to do it again this week.

It's not dishonesty, its how much disclosure is needed, and how much can someone understand and comprehend at a time. I have years of experience and I have studied tihs a long time, so I cannot expect someone who has no practical or very little 'practical application' in kink to understand things as quickly as someone who has experience.

quote:

In sum, is kink a curse or is it a blessing?

Kink is what it is. It's like asking if being your current gender is a curse or a blessing, or being alive a curse or a blessing.

< Message edited by slaverosebeauty -- 12/8/2007 9:45:07 PM >

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(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 73

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 12/8/2007 9:51:58 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

I laughed and cried when I read that the lower your IQ, the happier you are.
I think of D/s that way: is it possible I could be satisfied with uppity vanilla men?!? Not without a 'Planet of the Apes' trepanning!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 74

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 12/8/2007 9:53:00 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

If you could be satisfied in vanilla relationships would you choose to be?

I believe I could be happy in the right vanilla relationship. I do not like the term "vanilla", but I do believe I could be happy with many different types of people without a power exchange.. the fact of the matter is that I love my Daddy, and we DO have a power exchange...

I am much more focused on the relationship we have instead of the label attached to it. He leads, I follow, and we are happy that way. But I do not have some sort of illusion that I could not be happy with a different sort of relationship.. if I loved the person, of course I could! But I believe life satisfaction comes from within, and it is not found in another person...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 75

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 12/8/2007 10:33:36 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

To me, the complications of kink are a mixed blessing.

So what is the upside of the complication that it brings? Kinda short on blesing, long on mixed at the moment, so i could use a little inspiration.

Although it's squicky as hell, i've been thinking a lot about lobotomy lately... Simplicity, clarity, no emotional pain... peace...

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 76

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 12/9/2007 3:51:33 AM

InkedMaster

Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

Erase my kink? settle to live in a mundane vanilla relationship? Give up seeing my slave tightly laced into a corset, teetering in 6" heels, trussed up like a Christmas goose while I have my wicked way with her and enjoy her suffering for me? you have got to be fucking kidding me! Jesus, even I have standards!...-smirk-

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TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

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(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 77

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 12/9/2007 4:09:27 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

Erase my kink so i could enjoy someone who intrigues me? Nope. i can easily have friendships with non-kink people i don't have to have intimate (sexual) relationships with everyone who i find interesting.

It took me 54 years but i share a unique relationship with a Man who is highly intelligent, very wise, very handsome, successful in His employment, witty, twisted, kind, generous, playful, a skilled bondage Master, naturally Dominant and allows me the pleasure of being tightly laced into a corset, teetering in 6" heels, trussed up like a Christmas goose while He has His wicked way with me and enjoys my suffering for Him.

i would not give that up for anything!

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to InkedMaster)

Post #: 78

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 12/9/2007 4:15:40 AM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
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it would be a form of submission if you think about it.... not the greatest form... but still

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~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 79

RE: Would you erase your kink? - 12/9/2007 4:23:25 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

At this precise moment in my life, yes. But only if I could do so on a temporary basis. Edit/Added Not to appease or attract a partner but more erm...(trying to find words for it) but more as a way to pare down my life. To simplify things maybe. However I do not see submission as a 'kink' at all so when I say 'yes' it does not mean removing myself as a submissive but to do just what the title says. Erase my kink. Erase my need for a particular act/fetish whatever you want to call it.

< Message edited by camille65 -- 12/9/2007 4:27:19 AM >

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Post #: 80

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