RE: How to become an amazing domina - it's EASY! Here's how.

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RE: How to become an amazing domina - it's EASY! Here's... - 10/26/2007 11:14:23 AM

MsWorthy

Posts: 31
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

The single most important quality, and I consider this a prerequisite, to becoming a domme is the need or desire to have control. If having control over another person (to some degree, whatever that is for you) doesn't excite you - you may as well give it up.

All of the rest is technique.
All of the rest can be learned.

If you want control, and you are able to accept it when it is offered to you, you have the basics.

In becoming an effective domme, the most important thing is to be yourself. You can't dominate someone in another person's style. It has to be your style, and it has to be something you enjoy.

Being a domme doesn't mean you have to know how to use a strap-on.
Being a domme doesn't mean you have to like anal play.
Being a domme doesn't mean you have to want your man meek.
Being a domme doesn't mean you have to be harsh or mean or angry.
Being a domme doesn't mean you have to wear fetish clothing or gear.

Being a domme means that you want control, your way, with a person who turns you on (mentally or physically).

Talk to your partner to see if s/he likes what you like. It's ok to be in "role" but it's ok to just be yourself, too. Start experimenting. Start playing around with what sounds fun to both of you. But, if it doesn't feel good to you, if it isn't fun or exciting, don't try to make yourself do it anyway.

Making yourself do anything you don't want to do makes you anything but a domme.

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RE: How to become an amazing domina - it's EASY! Here's... - 10/26/2007 2:27:32 PM

MistresssAria

Posts: 165
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline

If you write a book, please let me know, I'll be out to buy it *smiles*

_____________________________

"It never got weird enough for me." -Hunter S. Thompson

~*~*~Mistress Aria~*~*~

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RE: How to become an amazing domina - it's EASY! Here's... - 10/26/2007 7:59:54 PM

mischievousone

Posts: 164
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline

Wonderful post! I wish that I had that advice a little over a year ago. (Although I will still use it now!) For many women we're brought up to be the ones that take care of home and hearth, and let the men handle the important things. It is a hard habit to break but once you realize that its ok to take your pleasure first things get easier. (not just sex) It's a powerful feeling looking into his eyes and knowing that the pleasure you see is a reflection of your own.

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RE: How to become an amazing domina - it's EASY! Here's... - 10/27/2007 4:28:13 PM

ExpressiveSoul1

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline

This is a fabulous post. I have been following many of the threads and this is the first one that I feel really helps with my own situation and needs at this time. I have been determined to not be cookie-cutter on this path. As a novice, I value the time and effort that the more experienced have to share. Thank you, and I look forward to reading more and participating too.

Christina

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RE: How to become an amazing domina - it's EASY! Here's... - 10/27/2007 5:11:26 PM

MstrisBurgundi

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Wonderfully explained, Mistress. It took me about 3 years to get to the point where I am now....fully embracing the Domme in me as a part of my sexuality.

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RE: How to become an amazing domina - it's EASY! Here's... - 10/31/2007 6:25:52 PM

bbwdommelilith

Posts: 81
Joined: 10/25/2006
Status: offline

THANK YOU, Akasha (and everyone else who made suggestions), for giving me the keys to the kingdom! I came on tonight with the intention of asking how to comfortably express my domina side and make it consistent with my soft-spoken personality (NOT wimpy, just soft-spoken). It IS about my pleasure, not trying to conform to some Mistress Eville stereotype.

Lilith

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