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RE: Pure/Natural subs - 8/10/2005 2:20:30 PM

IndigoDadesi

Posts: 185
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I think AAkasha put it nicely by saying that there are those who think it is fun but can go with or with out, and those who need it in their lives.

I think this has more to do with interest level, regardless of why.

For example: I was never as sexual a child as Karbon seems to have been, so I never knew about sex at an early age, in general. But as soon as I realized what it was all about it has always had an element of BDSM to it in some respect. I just feel like I need it in my life. Therefore my interest level may be higher than others.

There is mostlikely people out there though that do not discover this lifestyle and put a name to it until much older, but once they figure it out need it in their life as well.

Im sure there is also a number of people involved that could take it or leave it. They could be just as satisfied in a vanilla relationship.

I dont know if this has anything to do with hardwiring or whatever, but I do think that it has little to do with at what age or how you discover the lifestyle. I think that we are probably seeing people discover this at a much younger age because of the attention that is now being paid to the lifestyle as a whole. People, such as Karbon, are being exposed to it at younger ages, while other are not.

People come into things in their own time. I didnt realize I like girls until I was 18, while others realize it before they even hit puberty. That doesnt make them more bisexual than me it just means we were exposed to different things at different times in our lives.

< Message edited by IndigoDadesi -- 8/10/2005 2:23:12 PM >

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RE: Pure/Natural subs - 8/10/2005 2:43:56 PM

justatoy2

Posts: 163
Joined: 6/20/2005
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well i was born who i was...became the person i am...that's natural...so i would say everyone is a natural born sub/Dom whatever...terms like that drive me crazy.

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RE: Pure/Natural subs - 8/10/2005 6:19:43 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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Like some other people said this title make me think Of Ivory soap also

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RE: Pure/Natural subs - 8/11/2005 5:59:04 AM

Hissweetshiv

Posts: 200
Joined: 6/24/2005
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I don't see the term "natural" for Dominants or submissives being a way to be better than anyone else. To me the term refers to someone who either knows about the lifestyle and where they fit into it from a very early age, or someone who discovers the lifestyle later on but discovers their place very quickly and fits into it comfortably from the beginning. Yes, you still have a lot to learn at this point, but the "natural" part comes from inside - this feels natural to you from the beginning.
As for whether we will see a new generation of lifestylers who have never been nilla ( i don't care for the term corrupted but i see where you're coming from) i think it's quite possible that we will. Since it's no longer a psychological disorder listed in the DSM

people can afford to be more open about it than before. Over time, we will probably see more people who were brought up knowing about the lifestyle and knowing whether or not they fit into it and where. Sooner or later it will be considered just another preference - BDSM or nilla will be no more sensational than gay or straight.

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RE: Pure/Natural subs - 8/11/2005 7:18:49 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

Since it's no longer a psychological disorder listed in the DSM people can afford to be more open about it than before.

Since when?

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RE: Pure/Natural subs - 8/11/2005 12:02:39 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Since it's no longer a psychological disorder listed in the DSM people can afford to be more open about it than before.

Since when?

In the DSMIII, it was listed as a pathology. That was revised in the DSMIV to read that treatment was only indicated if the behavior had a pronounced negative effect on the client's life as a whole or if the client wanted to modify the behavior. This was retained in the DSMIVTR with the addition of dicta that confused matters a bit but the general thrust was maintained.

Unfortunately there are a lot of "professionals" out there who let their personal feelings get in the way

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RE: Pure/Natural subs - 8/11/2005 10:19:19 PM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
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I was born this way.....i did not realize it until it was cultivated though. I actually believe that i was born what my beloved Grandfather said i was: "smiley he says: you were just born a natural pain in the ass"
(blows smoochez up to heaven... i love you Grandpa and miss you even more)

~smilezz~

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RE: Pure/Natural subs - 8/23/2005 2:06:59 AM

girl4you2

Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

While staying away from the drama associated with terms like "real" or "natural", is there any way to make one clear distinction between people who were "born" with the desires vs. those that learned about BDSM and decided it would be "fun" but really could take it or leave it? Surely, people know what I'm talking about.

There are a lot of us that had these ideas about domination or submission before we even knew what it was. We were tying each other up in innocent kid games and engaging it in romantically/sexually as we matured. Some did not act on the ideas as early as others, and some didn't even reallize their ideas/fantasies were ok until they were much older. But the common theme is that the ideas were always there, and they also don't go away in time. They can't be ignored or turned off, and are basically part of our being. The degree to which we engage in real life exploration can vary greatly, but the common theme is that the "urge" or "lust" for it doesn't ever go away. It's in our wiring.

There are others that found out about BDSM and consider it exciting and passionate and integrate it into their lives. Many of them might even be more "active" in the bdsm community than some "home grown" bdsmers who just practice it in their private lives. One category is not more real, or better than the other.

But it still seems like they are at least definable -- vs. "TPE" or "24/7" which are impossible to define because they depend on perspective.

I don't know if I'm making sense.

Akasha

this makes perfect sense to me, as it is how things worked with me. i don't consider myself superior or different really from others, just that this is how i have always been. it's a way of life as well as who am and have always been. because some things happened in childhood and early adulthood that weren't then known as part of a "lifestyle" doesn't make them any less real. being a submissive isn't really so much a choice as it is a need to complete myself in a way that i cannot do myself. i can try to not think of it when i've other things to accomplish in my life, but it doesn't go away, and can only be silenced for so long.

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RE: Pure/Natural subs - 8/23/2005 6:32:51 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
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nope. sorry bro. not new. same ole same ole. just that those of us that have been around for a bit are used-to the reflection of either it comes to you naturally or ya have-to work at it and working at it is just too damned difficult.
it is better if being Dom/me feels natural and being slave feels natural than just some pair of pants you put on.
i feel natural as a slave to Mistress. "I"---I could NOT be Dom. and She could not be slave,..............She feels natural AS a Domme.

wolfie

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